They're searching Chernobyl and Pripyat for Biden's bunker that's buried underground. Word around the dark web is that it houses his servers detailing his criminal enterprises, along with all of the Clinton's blackmail data and a who's who list of Jeffrey Epstein's pedo ring.

What they won't find is confederate gold, railroad bonds, the oak island treasure, the missing socks of the world, an altruistic real estate investor, a book of German humor, live unicorns, or an honest politician.