Funny, this is exactly what I've witnessed with the wife. Personality switch. I've said it before a few times. Literally, 2 weeks to the day from 2nd shot = 100% completely different person.
Her mom and I had a real good talk on Friday. As it turns out, I'm not crazy, her mom sees it too. And her mom had tried to talk to her about it to no avail - same as me. She actually used the same description I have been " she's become a completely different person". Only getting worse.
Honestly... I think she knows something is wrong with her, but she's just too damned proud to admit it and admit she needs help. She's one of those types that will drive herself crazy trying to fix something instead of asking for, or accepting help. It just makes her insane if you even ask, always has.
She's turned into a monster, really. Just full tilt anger 24/7 about anything and everything. She can't go 2 minutes w/out losing her total shit on anything. Can't focus on anything. Constantly repeating things, constantly having to be reminded of things. Can't remember 2 minutes previous - she's been doing this A LOT. Talking about something, like half way through the conversation, it's like we changed topics? Then she gets rage mad because she's confused, and it's MY fault.
She's not sleeping at all. She's drinking like a fish. I've watched her face age 20 years in the last 5. The last 4 months.... it's like complete personality disorder.
thank you for sharing and I send my condolences to you and the millions and millions of other victims of this democide insanity perpetuated on us by our own governments. God help us all.
Well... she's not a very good person, in a nutshell. She's one of those that, literally, never, ever owns up to their actions ; it's ALWAYS someone else's fault. "You made me .... " " I had to...." Never, in her life has she possessed self accountability.
She needs to talk to a psych and tell them who she is. She portrays this huge, fake facade that she's this wonderful, all good intentions person with a huge heart and just wants to be kind to everyone. Turns out.... she's been a lying back stabbing, two faced gas lighter her entire life. Her mom , some cousins and a bunch of people she grew up with has confirmed this.
She's never had friends for more than a couple of months. I've seen it many times in the 26 years. Once people start to get to know her, they don't want anything to do with her anymore. Her mom and myself ; the only people who have ever stayed in her life longer than a couple of months.
She also has had multiple concussions in her life. She actually just smashed her head about 2 weeks ago - worst I've seen her do in 26 years. Look into CTE and symptoms. She's well into Stage III - cognitive stuff. Severe and instant memory loss, mental fog, massive sleep issues, etc ; she has all the symptoms.
I've tried, man I've tried. I've made her read the studies on it. She KNOWS there is something wrong with her, her mom and I both know it.
Here's an example of the facade. ALL this time ( 26 years ), I've been under the impression that her mom and her have this huge, rock solid unbreakable bond and her mom tolerates me.
Turns out.... that's 100%... 10000% a lie. She's apparently been on her last legs with her mom for years. Her mom knows she acts and does what she does because she thinks she's going to make up for what she's done to her mom. Her mom knows this is what it is.
When a mother says things like "that girl doesn't have a good heart, I'm sorry it took you so long to see this " and "I closed the door on her a long time ago" it speaks volumes. Also turns out, her mom confirmed a whack of lies she's told her mom about me.
It was a good feeling hearing that her mom actually thinks the exact opposite about me from what my wife has made me think. Looks like she's one of the most horrible people I've ever met. I won't even start to put down what she's said to her friends - that ended up running away from her - about me behind my back.
Sorry about the book. Guess this is my only place to release some shit about this. Sorry for airing my personal shit, but thank you for allowing me to get some of this out.
Oh man! That's a heavy load! My heart goes out to you.
My question was based on my opinion that there isn't any help for that level of damage done by the shots; but it seems that her issues go so much deeper.
Psychiatrists are often tortured because they are mostly helpless to treat people with severe personality disorders. And brain injuries are the icing on the terrible cake.
As an objectiive stranger who has struggled with codependency, I was liberated by something that I got from one of the books my therapist recommended (IIRC it was "Codependence No More").
It goes like this: We typically try to recreate the relationship with our most dominant parent. If that parent has an illness or addiction, we subconsciously seek out those who we think we can "fix", an unhealthy attempt to heal the pain and helplessness of our childhood.
The problem is that we have no control over anyone else (only our own behavior). Some people are destined to suffer. Relationships are only healthy if they are reciprocal. Otherwise, it is a caregiving situation or a controlling dynamic with ulterior motives.
Some people can be helped and some cannot. And when they refuse help or are too damaged to benefit from it, a question presents itself: If one person is destined to suffer, why sacrifice your time on Earth to suffer alongside them? Especially when your suffering changes nothing for them and prevents you from affecting the world in positive ways?
It's not her that will benefit from help. She will likely need to be in a group home or skilled nursing facility, on psych drugs, as her brain damage progresses. It's you who needs to find someone to help you through the pain and loss that you are suffering.
My heart goes out to you. Please know that you don't deserve this and it doesn't have to be your cross to bear. There are a lot of rotten therapists out there, but when you find the right one, they can change your life!
When someone falls off of a cliff you can't rescue them by jumping off after them. Instead, build an observation point there and memorialize an unfortunate loss.
Thank you for the kind words, my friend. I appreciate it.
I've been really educating myself on the CTE since we were in Calgary - I started seeing some stuff back then. It's a very sad outcome, really. It's progressive, can't be stopped / quelled and ends up with basically developing dementia.
You are right, the help she needs in the end, won't help her. It's sad and scary watching someone you love deteriorate right in front of you, all the while, somehow completely blind to what's happening right in front of them. I do know that in the end.... she most likely will end up in a care facility.
I'm too good of a person. I can't just do nothing. I can't just "ok, fuck you, I don't care" after 26 years. It's been me and her against the world this whole time... now I'm part of that world she's fighting against.
I see someone soak themselves in gasoline and reach for the matches... I can't just stand there. When the person though has zero sense of self accountability or responsibility, you unfortunately have to watch them burn.
Her mom said something to me that gave me a lot of closure and sense of acceptance. When she mentioned the 'closing the door', it confirmed what I've been seeing for years. It confirmed for me, this isn't my fault, I've done everything I can do, as her mom as over the years. I have to let go of what I THOUGHT she was, and finally accept what I've known all along.
Thank you. My pups are my strength and my focus. I've got a house with lots of projects and a nice yard to work on for focusing as well ; keeping me on the path.
I can't turn off my care. She makes decent money ( brings home avg. $4500/ month ). The lowest rents around here for non bachelor / one room shared is over $1000 / month - no utilities. Her truck payment is $400 / month. Gas, food, utilities, phone bill, alimony to me. I told her I'd be nice and only ask for $500/ month because she's going to need money to survive. If we go legal separation route, she'll EASILY have to pay me $800-$1000 / month.
I am sub contractor / self employed and my income is not secured. Straight up Canadian law says the one who makes more money has to pay the other a very large portion of the difference in salaries per year.
How much does she have left then? Not including student loans she has + a $10,000 bankruptcy loan + a mastercard with over $10,000 with the interest.
I think anyone in my situation would care, I don't know how not to. I know exactly how this is going to play out for her.... and I just have to sit back and watch it happen.
She thinks she's taking the cockatoo with her. Now, Idk what you know about parrots but cockatoos are not solo birds, they are 100000% social and NEED social interaction / attention / out of cage. They are not cage birds if you're home. The have 2 calls though ; a whistle and a scream. These are mate calls, and it starts the second you leave sight. Average decibel is 130-140 for these calls. You absolutely can not have this type of bird in any type of shared living / apartment / basement unit because you'll either be told you or the bird in the first 2 weeks. Happens ALL the time.
Also... very important. For her to make that money, she has to work around 14hrs a day. Where is the time for Salty? She's been doing this for 3 years now ( this job ) and he gets MAYBE a hour or two with her per day now. Sure, she leaves between 2 and 3 am, but still doesn't get home until 5-6pm most nights.
What happens if she has a breakdown and doesn't even get back to town until 8 PM? It's happened. She still has to drop the truck and drive home. No matter where she goes she will not be able to park her work truck where she lives and go right to work like she does now. That means up earlier, and home later.
There's no full houses to rent here ; all either upstairs or down , lowest I've seen for upstairs, 2 bedrooms is $1300 + family downstairs / shared laundry. I don't know where she thinks she's taking Salty with her.
If we legally separate, the gov't and her creditors will immediately come after her. She actually believes your debts just disappear after 7 years if you don't pay them.
Sorry for the novels..... Again... looks like this is my only source of release. I truly thank you folks for allowing me to get this out. We're not telling anybody anything until she actually moves out, it's nobody's business so.... This is all I have, thank you all, immensely.
Whew! That's a lot of spinning plates! Amazing that she can hold a job, but thank goodness it's not costing you!
Might be worth looking into long term care insurance; unless care homes are free up there? Here in the US, her future would be very bleak without a lot of money stockpiled.
Hopefully, you can squirrel away for when you'll be on your own.
Funny, this is exactly what I've witnessed with the wife. Personality switch. I've said it before a few times. Literally, 2 weeks to the day from 2nd shot = 100% completely different person.
Her mom and I had a real good talk on Friday. As it turns out, I'm not crazy, her mom sees it too. And her mom had tried to talk to her about it to no avail - same as me. She actually used the same description I have been " she's become a completely different person". Only getting worse.
Honestly... I think she knows something is wrong with her, but she's just too damned proud to admit it and admit she needs help. She's one of those types that will drive herself crazy trying to fix something instead of asking for, or accepting help. It just makes her insane if you even ask, always has.
How is she different? Are you experiencing any effects assuming you are intimately close to her post injections?
She's turned into a monster, really. Just full tilt anger 24/7 about anything and everything. She can't go 2 minutes w/out losing her total shit on anything. Can't focus on anything. Constantly repeating things, constantly having to be reminded of things. Can't remember 2 minutes previous - she's been doing this A LOT. Talking about something, like half way through the conversation, it's like we changed topics? Then she gets rage mad because she's confused, and it's MY fault.
She's not sleeping at all. She's drinking like a fish. I've watched her face age 20 years in the last 5. The last 4 months.... it's like complete personality disorder.
thank you for sharing and I send my condolences to you and the millions and millions of other victims of this democide insanity perpetuated on us by our own governments. God help us all.
So sorry for all of you.
What kind of help would she get, though?
Well... she's not a very good person, in a nutshell. She's one of those that, literally, never, ever owns up to their actions ; it's ALWAYS someone else's fault. "You made me .... " " I had to...." Never, in her life has she possessed self accountability.
She needs to talk to a psych and tell them who she is. She portrays this huge, fake facade that she's this wonderful, all good intentions person with a huge heart and just wants to be kind to everyone. Turns out.... she's been a lying back stabbing, two faced gas lighter her entire life. Her mom , some cousins and a bunch of people she grew up with has confirmed this.
She's never had friends for more than a couple of months. I've seen it many times in the 26 years. Once people start to get to know her, they don't want anything to do with her anymore. Her mom and myself ; the only people who have ever stayed in her life longer than a couple of months.
She also has had multiple concussions in her life. She actually just smashed her head about 2 weeks ago - worst I've seen her do in 26 years. Look into CTE and symptoms. She's well into Stage III - cognitive stuff. Severe and instant memory loss, mental fog, massive sleep issues, etc ; she has all the symptoms.
I've tried, man I've tried. I've made her read the studies on it. She KNOWS there is something wrong with her, her mom and I both know it.
Here's an example of the facade. ALL this time ( 26 years ), I've been under the impression that her mom and her have this huge, rock solid unbreakable bond and her mom tolerates me.
Turns out.... that's 100%... 10000% a lie. She's apparently been on her last legs with her mom for years. Her mom knows she acts and does what she does because she thinks she's going to make up for what she's done to her mom. Her mom knows this is what it is.
When a mother says things like "that girl doesn't have a good heart, I'm sorry it took you so long to see this " and "I closed the door on her a long time ago" it speaks volumes. Also turns out, her mom confirmed a whack of lies she's told her mom about me.
It was a good feeling hearing that her mom actually thinks the exact opposite about me from what my wife has made me think. Looks like she's one of the most horrible people I've ever met. I won't even start to put down what she's said to her friends - that ended up running away from her - about me behind my back.
Sorry about the book. Guess this is my only place to release some shit about this. Sorry for airing my personal shit, but thank you for allowing me to get some of this out.
Oh man! That's a heavy load! My heart goes out to you.
My question was based on my opinion that there isn't any help for that level of damage done by the shots; but it seems that her issues go so much deeper.
Psychiatrists are often tortured because they are mostly helpless to treat people with severe personality disorders. And brain injuries are the icing on the terrible cake.
As an objectiive stranger who has struggled with codependency, I was liberated by something that I got from one of the books my therapist recommended (IIRC it was "Codependence No More").
It goes like this: We typically try to recreate the relationship with our most dominant parent. If that parent has an illness or addiction, we subconsciously seek out those who we think we can "fix", an unhealthy attempt to heal the pain and helplessness of our childhood.
The problem is that we have no control over anyone else (only our own behavior). Some people are destined to suffer. Relationships are only healthy if they are reciprocal. Otherwise, it is a caregiving situation or a controlling dynamic with ulterior motives.
Some people can be helped and some cannot. And when they refuse help or are too damaged to benefit from it, a question presents itself: If one person is destined to suffer, why sacrifice your time on Earth to suffer alongside them? Especially when your suffering changes nothing for them and prevents you from affecting the world in positive ways?
It's not her that will benefit from help. She will likely need to be in a group home or skilled nursing facility, on psych drugs, as her brain damage progresses. It's you who needs to find someone to help you through the pain and loss that you are suffering.
My heart goes out to you. Please know that you don't deserve this and it doesn't have to be your cross to bear. There are a lot of rotten therapists out there, but when you find the right one, they can change your life!
When someone falls off of a cliff you can't rescue them by jumping off after them. Instead, build an observation point there and memorialize an unfortunate loss.
Then, go live your best life! Hugs to you!
Thank you for the kind words, my friend. I appreciate it.
I've been really educating myself on the CTE since we were in Calgary - I started seeing some stuff back then. It's a very sad outcome, really. It's progressive, can't be stopped / quelled and ends up with basically developing dementia.
You are right, the help she needs in the end, won't help her. It's sad and scary watching someone you love deteriorate right in front of you, all the while, somehow completely blind to what's happening right in front of them. I do know that in the end.... she most likely will end up in a care facility.
I'm too good of a person. I can't just do nothing. I can't just "ok, fuck you, I don't care" after 26 years. It's been me and her against the world this whole time... now I'm part of that world she's fighting against.
I see someone soak themselves in gasoline and reach for the matches... I can't just stand there. When the person though has zero sense of self accountability or responsibility, you unfortunately have to watch them burn.
Her mom said something to me that gave me a lot of closure and sense of acceptance. When she mentioned the 'closing the door', it confirmed what I've been seeing for years. It confirmed for me, this isn't my fault, I've done everything I can do, as her mom as over the years. I have to let go of what I THOUGHT she was, and finally accept what I've known all along.
My heart goes out to you. It's clear that you've found strength through this; and my prayers are for you to experience healing and a bright new start.
Thank you. My pups are my strength and my focus. I've got a house with lots of projects and a nice yard to work on for focusing as well ; keeping me on the path.
I can't turn off my care. She makes decent money ( brings home avg. $4500/ month ). The lowest rents around here for non bachelor / one room shared is over $1000 / month - no utilities. Her truck payment is $400 / month. Gas, food, utilities, phone bill, alimony to me. I told her I'd be nice and only ask for $500/ month because she's going to need money to survive. If we go legal separation route, she'll EASILY have to pay me $800-$1000 / month.
I am sub contractor / self employed and my income is not secured. Straight up Canadian law says the one who makes more money has to pay the other a very large portion of the difference in salaries per year.
How much does she have left then? Not including student loans she has + a $10,000 bankruptcy loan + a mastercard with over $10,000 with the interest.
I think anyone in my situation would care, I don't know how not to. I know exactly how this is going to play out for her.... and I just have to sit back and watch it happen.
She thinks she's taking the cockatoo with her. Now, Idk what you know about parrots but cockatoos are not solo birds, they are 100000% social and NEED social interaction / attention / out of cage. They are not cage birds if you're home. The have 2 calls though ; a whistle and a scream. These are mate calls, and it starts the second you leave sight. Average decibel is 130-140 for these calls. You absolutely can not have this type of bird in any type of shared living / apartment / basement unit because you'll either be told you or the bird in the first 2 weeks. Happens ALL the time.
Also... very important. For her to make that money, she has to work around 14hrs a day. Where is the time for Salty? She's been doing this for 3 years now ( this job ) and he gets MAYBE a hour or two with her per day now. Sure, she leaves between 2 and 3 am, but still doesn't get home until 5-6pm most nights.
What happens if she has a breakdown and doesn't even get back to town until 8 PM? It's happened. She still has to drop the truck and drive home. No matter where she goes she will not be able to park her work truck where she lives and go right to work like she does now. That means up earlier, and home later.
There's no full houses to rent here ; all either upstairs or down , lowest I've seen for upstairs, 2 bedrooms is $1300 + family downstairs / shared laundry. I don't know where she thinks she's taking Salty with her.
If we legally separate, the gov't and her creditors will immediately come after her. She actually believes your debts just disappear after 7 years if you don't pay them.
Sorry for the novels..... Again... looks like this is my only source of release. I truly thank you folks for allowing me to get this out. We're not telling anybody anything until she actually moves out, it's nobody's business so.... This is all I have, thank you all, immensely.
Whew! That's a lot of spinning plates! Amazing that she can hold a job, but thank goodness it's not costing you!
Might be worth looking into long term care insurance; unless care homes are free up there? Here in the US, her future would be very bleak without a lot of money stockpiled.
Hopefully, you can squirrel away for when you'll be on your own.
you do our namesake proud well done!!
How did you get the two different results? What was the difference between the two search events?