My sister and I have never had a great relationship which comes down to her passive-aggressive behavior. For example she'll make snide comments and just have an overall negative attitude but if I say something back all hell breaks loose, it's like I have to walk on eggshells around her.
That was before I cared about politics, but now it turns out we have complete opposite beliefs. She's a college professor and teaches a course called "urban studies", and based on the course description it's largely focused on topics like white privilege and climate change. She's also an abortion clinic escort. She's a vegan and hardcore environmentalist. She's basically a stereotype of a millenial liberal and describes herself as a marxist.
I haven't seen her in 2 years but we have a family reunion coming up and I just know that certain topics might come up at the dinner table like COVID. I'm also against abortion and that's another topic that might come up as well. If I give my opinion and say that I think lockdowns over a flu virus were ridiculous and I didn't get the vaccine I'm sure an argument would break out because she gets angry when someone espouses non-leftist beliefs. Last time we had a family dinner she got angry because I simply asked her and her long-term boyfriend if they were planning to start a family someday.
Now I'm considering whether I should speak my mind within limits if these topics come up or just stay silent to maintain the peace.
Do not stay silent. Stay calm, and do not, under any situation, be provoked to respond emotionally. It is as the saying goes, "Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.".
This is what trained marxists do.
You did not mention anything else about the family, as in, if others have chosen to stay silent to keep the peace, but in any case, stay calm and the others will start to observe reality; She can't actually defend her views and retorts to emotional manipulation to get you into a state of mind that is easier to deal with from her point of view and experience.
I suggest you do some research on rhetorics and logical fallacies. It is much easier when you understand what she is actually doing, regardless of whether she does it intentionally or not. Trained marxists are taught about this to limit themselves and be better manipulators, but there are always cracks and attempts of manipulation in the heat of the moment. They are aiming for this, as they want you to be in an emotional state where this is "irrelevant", as it blends into the heat of the moment and made more difficult to notice due to emotions.
Also, try and see if you notice the attempts at making everything "simple" and "common sense", it usually starts there in their attempts to label someone as "stupid" and "intolerant".
Tricky, very. Can't talk to my daughter about anything. She tries to bait me but I refuse to be drawn and explain that it impossible to have any dialogue so best not go there. Everything is mirror, projection - knee jerk reactions, no tolerance of facts. I play her at her own game when she throws something out and ask "Who says?" All I can do is pray and wait for the tide to hit. Hope it happens soon. Till then - peace.
I disowned my family for this very reason! Haven't had contact in 2 years and counting...tired of the nonsensical arguments that go nowhere...not worth the headache! Just my experience to having less stress...my blood pressure would rise just hearing their voice or seeing their number calling...
Got a brother who is the same . His live in girl thing of 15 years has a daughter that came home and asked everyone to call her Ben. He’s been arrested and through court fo domestic violence. He makes just enough money to not starve and has exactly 0 savings. Spend a lot of time even now posting about how bad Trump is. I sometimes think he doesn’t need my input what he really needs is a friggin excorcism.
😂
I would agree in general buuuuuut….that’s how conservatives got into this mess. Go along to get along. Hard to say what to do is right.
If I were in that position I would probably ready my arguments and facts for when she spews idiot stuff but try to remain calm and sincere in just asking questions. I probably wouldn’t go on the offense but if my family starts bringing up stupid stuff I don’t think I can ignore it.
Yea I agree. It’s really such a time suck to argue with dumb people.
What was it that Mark Twain said? Don’t argue with stupid people bc they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience?
Yea it’s a no win situation. Good luck OP
If you have a smart phone I'd load it up with facts and numbers. How the total national death count for the Covid years didn't increase over the previous years without a pandemic. Ask why more black babies are killed through abortion than any other race. Why the arctic ice pack is higher if climate change is true. All the things you think she'll go off about. Even if she continues to be an ass, at least you've showed her facts. You won't change her mind on anything, but you might make her think. Good luck fren. WWG1WGA
Good suggestion. And the other family members there may learn a fact or two.
I have a very stupid, toxic sister-in-law. I finally stopped attending family gatherings on the holidays and have enjoyed decades of great holidays with my husband and kids. It was worth it.
This is the way👌
Punch them in the face lol
Burn it to the ground, speak your mind. Tell her about all the ways she's wrong and shame her. She would do the same to you.
That’s probably the only way to communicate with idiots. Outshout them. 😂
Stand your ground with “provable” facts if she brings it (which sounds like she’s the type that wouldn’t be able to shut up anyways) but I wouldn’t bring anything up unprovoked. Sometimes you just want to hang out and chill.
What is the point of bringing anything up, including pretend-innocent questions you know will trigger that psycho? You cannot now or ever change what someone thinks. It doesn't work that way. Do something entirely refreshing and just contribute to your family having as peaceful a reunion as possible.. No brownie points for disharmonizers.
Knowledge is your WMD,get heavy.
My heart goes out to you. I have two sisters that are died in the wool commies. And two younger brothers partly awake. Siblings battles for five decades and counting. I know how much I can talk to who about what and tell them above all we need to have love for each other and leave our differences at the door. Doesn't work enough to get us all together for years but I do ok seeing them individually. Good luck and remember love above all.
This is sport to us.
Laugh in their face and watch the fireworks, then laugh some more!
It's too easy.
Have a brother similar. I could have a conversation with someone and he'll jump up, yelling, stomping his feet against what I'm saying (esp when nonpolitical and none of his business). I learned that if I yell back at him exactly as he did to me he backs off and runs away. Because everyone in the family is afraid of him nobody stands up to him. On a side note, when he walks off all family is silent but not a word against my response. Then the rest of the day he sits in the corner facing a blank wall.
I never resort to name calling, just put out the facts. Its they who start name calling where I then laugh at them ' See, you dont have an answer so you just call me names. Guess what, I just won this debate. Go away'.
So many other people told me how he rants and yells and threatens them. I tell them yes he is violent. I think you should report his threats to the police.
Brother against brother, friend against friend, neighbor against neighbor. This is what they want. Keep it casual and light. Family members will really come in handy when shit hits the fan. I have in laws that are similar in their beliefs. In the past, my responses were calm and collected and in the right. They don't bring ANYTHING up anymore around me in fear of looking stupid and mad.
Easy.
Like Q does, ask well timed, appropriate questions until they trip over their own tongue.
These people are easy to trap with basic logic.
Let them show their dumbassery.
Remember to laugh quietly.
The best thing you can do is to sit there quietly and let her words roll like water off a duck's back. You don't need to say a thing, as she'll end up making your points in the long haul with her tiresome liberalism. After all, a fool may be thought wise...until they open their mouth.