Guess I'm gonna go for it! Ok so, lately I've been hanging out here even more than usual. I am commenting more and posting links and trying to engage and trying to add something productive to discussions, hopefully when I have something worthwhile to contribute mostly and not just blabbing for the sake of it.

I'm kind of shy and self-deprecating in my sense of humor, so taking time to actually post and respond to others is something of a step for me. I've always enjoyed writing and I have a passion for it (some people have complimented me before but I would feel crass and egocentric judging my talents) A lot of stuff I wrote at a younger age was poetry and short stories, most of which no one has ever seen but me. I've got whole notebooks filled and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I've never had much desire to share that stuff widely. I'm a lot more comfortable when I'm outside of art and fiction and can be okay with openly sharing ... to a greater degree, anyway.

So I started a substack account a few weeks ago and I've been writing what I guess I'd call "articles" (more like replying to a comment I saw somewhere or an opinion piece for a video or some piece of news I encountered) but I haven't shared it with anyone yet, not even family or my spouse or close friends.

I guess I have this dream of being able to write either independently or for a publication or website, maybe even earn a supplemental income doing it, but of course at first you have to keep expectations in check. I interned at my county newspaper in high school and considered pursuing a degree in journalism. I was a staff writer for a couple years at the university student newspaper and I co-chaired the Business School Club where we had guest lecturers and so forth.

Ultimately finished a bachelors in Economics because I liked the subject matter and it was an interesting time to learn about it; I took those classes and worked to finish my degree during the time the financial crisis of 2009 had started and played out. Graduating and the subsequent time was really rough back then; it was not a good time to be looking for white collar entry level opportunities without experience. The one thing I regret even though I applied myself a lot once I got to university was not doing an internship. The department budget for such things was pretty limited and you had to be on top of your game to catch one, plus they were more after Accounting and InfoSystems students, so I dont know how great my odds would've been anyways. I remember making some plans that fell through. Anyways needless to say I haven't been working in my desired field in the years since; although I did have a job doing purchasing for like a year, but to be honest it was a pretty junior level gig and was more about receiving the product and organizing coolers and breaking your back than any advanced kind of buyer stuff. Still it was experience.

So I had 8 or 9 years with a good company that got bought out and eventually eliminated a lot of us for one reason or another (but really just cutting labor) and it's been blue collar work all my life now. I guess I'm a really good cook because of my employment life and I know how to manage a restaurant's BOH. It's very hard to get out of foodservice once you're in as some of you know. A lot of jobs wouldn't take you for a long time although I think that may be changing these days.

All right I have no clue where this was going, I just thought I'd share some stuff about my life. I suppose I am venting a bit about this as I'm vexed as to determining my next moves. My dream would be getting started with some kind of writing or journalism as a career but that's not a job you walk off the street and get.

I never really had any guidance or employment opportunities laid out for me by my folks, even though one of them was in a great industry and had a great career of her own with a company... and many of her co-workers got their kids internships and jobs there... I think my step dad, who worked alongside her, was worried about me hurting their professional image if I was there. It bothered me a lot back then and it still kinda does... I always have had to just hustle and find what was available so I ended up delivering pizzas and then working in restaurants all during my late teens and 20s while I did college. Always having to scratch and hustle and the associated lifestyle I think put me at a disadvantage to get out of the hourly struggle too, I honestly never had time to sit and reflect until this last couple years of my life. I was always working at least one job and on the go, living with friends as roommates, not making the greatest lifestyle choices for the long term, etc.

I think this is most people, but also: I've always been really bad at looking for jobs or opportunities. Interviewing makes me horribly anxious, even though I'm not bad at it, and I like many people resist change. It's weird because I think the majority of people would just work one job or two for their whole careers, but the current awful job market out there almost REQUIRES you to be flexible and constantly change careers like you're a free agent football player or something. If you don't you quickly get left behind and don't get paid optimally for your work (but who DOES get paid properly these days?)

So there it all is. I laid it out for you all to read and share if you like. Whatever you would like to reply with. Commiserate or make suggestions, whatever it's up to you. Advice is welcomed, opportunities welcomed. I wonder if anyone from these boards has managed to become a Substack writer full time? Any stories like that would sure be interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes from putting this out, in any case. In the meantime I guess I'll keep hanging out and doing what I've been doing - it seems like it's moving forward, to what I dont know, but I'm interested to see.

Thanks and godspeed.