Reminds me of long ago back in 1975-1977 when everyone was going to Alaska to earn big bucks working on the pipeline. Some friends went and when they returned, they regaled us with tales of working there.

One said he worked in a portable office space set up where they were paving new roads or something. In that small office, someone kept a pet spider monkey. This monkey would shriek all the time and masturbate himself. He was able to reach his own tiny, skinny pee pee with his mouth and and did it so often that it was in shreds.

Just thinkin' of Jeff Toobin.