https://www.stltoday.com/business/local/a-b-responds-to-bud-light-controversy-one-single-can-sent-to-one-influencer/article_12db8c52-e90f-11ed-be5d-338d88dc3a41.html

https://archive.ph/AlzJJ

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How tone deaf is A-B?

A-B sent Dylan Mulvaney a BEER CAN FULL OF BEER

To celebrate "her" 365 Days of "GIRL" hood.

Dylan Mulvaney does not merely identify as a "WOMAN,

Dylan Mulvaney identifies as a GIRL.

And GIRL's are TOO YOUNG to DRINK BEER.

If you are going to appease the delusions of the delusional,

Then you have to go ALL IN.

You can't just use Dylan's "preferred pronouns" to signal that you understand Dylan is a female,

You have to also pretend that Dylan is an UNDERAGE GIRL.

And you don't give BEER to MINORS.

Rookie Mistake Bud Light Marketing Team

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But beyond that, Bud Light was trying to use an "influencer" to "influence" the public,

Basically jumping on the trans bandwagon, because its the latest outrage of the moment.

Bud Light sent Dylan a can of beer, in hopes that Dylan would help them sell more beer.

Dylan was happy to show off the beer can, because Dylan was using the Bud Light brand name to increase his own influence and clout.

So A-B, it doesn't really matter if you sent ONE can of beer to a GIRL,

or 100 cans of beer,

We know what you are doing, and we don't like it.

We have been bombarded with trans propaganda for many years, and its only getting worse every day.

We see children being exposed to sexually explicit material, in schools and libraries.

We see children being exposed to all sorts of degeneracy, kinks, fetishes, and gender confused thinking,

And instead of taking a stand against this degeneracy,

You promote it?!

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Today We Salute You, Bud Light Marketing Team.

You took a LOSS, and turned it into a WIN!

You sent a GIRL a can of BEER, because thats not CREEPY at all,

And then you instigated the biggest BOYCOTT of Bud Light in HISTORY,

Costing the company MILLIONS of dollars in lost beer sales.

And Costing the shareholders MILLIONS is market cap losses,

And having your BRAND IMAGE being reduced to that of TRANSITION FLUID.

But you KNEW just what to do!

You ran an old-school Patriotic Americana ad,

That was admittedly somewhat decent,

But it wasn't enough to appease the blood-thirsty reich-wingers,

Who kept buying less and less beer every week, for 4 weeks in a row.

Professional propagandists even came up with fake public opinion polls,

Claiming that a majority of beer drinkers actually support the idea of using underage girls to sell more beer to horny old men.

But nobody was buying it.

And everybody knew it.

And the warehouses were so full of Bud Light, that they ran out of room.

And then the company had the bright idea to give away FREE BEER,

But they couldn't even give away free beer.

Because nobody wanted to be publicly associated with BUD LIGHT.

And then the company tried to minimize what Bud Light had actually done,

Saying, It was just ONE can of BEER, to ONE underage GIRL!

And tried to say that they just wanted to be INCLUSIVE,

and bring people TOGETHER,

Love Is Love

And all that...

But in the end, The Bud Light Marketing Team realized that trying to APPEASE every niche minority group is a fools errand that will never cease to be a DISTRACTION from their core competency,

Which is, making great BEER flavored alcohol.

The Bud Light Marketing Team finally realized that their own brand image is closely related to the wholesome image of America itself.

Nostalgic Americana.

Snow Capped Mountains of BUUUUUUSH

Soaring Bald Eagles

Barges on the Mississippi

Big Horses.

Happy Cows.

Sweaty Firemen.

Dusty Farmers.

Redneck Christmas Lights.

The Crescendo Of Independence Day Fireworks.

Big Cowboy Hats, Boots, And Belt Buckles,

Loud Music Concerts

Whistle Tips

Monster Trucks

Pro Wrestling

Cozy Log Cabins

Warm Campground Fires

Cold Ice Fishing

Old Trains

Heavy Industry

Women's Sports

And Yes,

Even Church.

So the Bud Light Marketing Team got to work, on developing an entire series of commemorative beer cans,

That celebrate the Founding of the United States of America, American history, and culture,

And Then The Bud Light Marketing Team made a public split with "woke" culture,

And denounced

Communism

And Socialism,

And the New World Order

And the UN

And the WHO

And the WEF

And the BIS

And The IMF

And The World Bank

And made commemorative cans for the victims of communism and socialism,

Starting at the beginning, and going year-by-year highlighting every atrocity.

And slowly but surely, Bud Light won back its customers, one by one,

And even gained some new customers, who were into collecting commemorative beer cans.

This will surely be the biggest TRANSITION of YOUR BRAND, Bud Light,

But in the end, it will be BOTH stunning AND brave,

And totally worth it.

Yes, Bud Light Marketing Team,

This ::Lifts Beer Can:::

Bud Light's for YOU!