He's nearly 21 and has never had a job. He wakes up every morning eager to do something but never follows through on any plans he makes. One minute he was all amped up about residential pest mitigation and the next he wants to be an inspector for local rivers and help clean up debris... I am honestly frustrated, he won't cook or clean let alone help with our financial struggles.
I really love him with every inch of my heart and soul but I don't know how to get him to contribute more or be more independent. I really don't want to kick him out but I don't think it's fair for him to contribute nothing to our relationship.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or advice from my frens.
Edit: thank you all for your advice about my dog, I'll see if I can get him to cook but there's no way I'm letting him join the military. He kept that squirrel and neighbors cat out of the yard so I think I'll take him down to the river to fetch sticks.
Edit 2: I have found my kid employment, he is now wrangling small unicorns for work.
Serious question: Does he know how to clean and cook? Have you actually seen him perform these skills? I'm not judging; only trying to determine how much of this is a skills problem and how much is lack of motivation.
He's pretty good at cleaning up messes but I usually have to point them out. He's never cooked anything though.
If you expect him to cook, then the first order of business should be to teach him how to cook. You can make it a fun activity to do together. If he complains, then you can shame him for being 21 years-old and unwilling to learn how to feed himself. His future lady friends aren't going to put up with that shit, much less an aging parent.
And as for the cleaning part, again, it sounds like an issue where there is some kind of genuine mental disconnect where he just doesn't see or process that there is a mess that needs to be cleaned. It might be obvious to you, but it's not obvious to him. It's up to you to teach him how to spot the obvious and take care of it.