He's nearly 21 and has never had a job. He wakes up every morning eager to do something but never follows through on any plans he makes. One minute he was all amped up about residential pest mitigation and the next he wants to be an inspector for local rivers and help clean up debris... I am honestly frustrated, he won't cook or clean let alone help with our financial struggles.
I really love him with every inch of my heart and soul but I don't know how to get him to contribute more or be more independent. I really don't want to kick him out but I don't think it's fair for him to contribute nothing to our relationship.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or advice from my frens.
Edit: thank you all for your advice about my dog, I'll see if I can get him to cook but there's no way I'm letting him join the military. He kept that squirrel and neighbors cat out of the yard so I think I'll take him down to the river to fetch sticks.
Edit 2: I have found my kid employment, he is now wrangling small unicorns for work.
Clearly, something went wrong somewhere. This is not an inditement of you as a parent, I know nothing of your parenting skills, but I do believe you can help NOW.
He is clearly experiencing some type of mental illness. It could be a light version. By that I mean, it's something he can overcome relatively easily with the right treatment. (And by the treatment, I don't mean pharmaceuticals, I just mean by taking the right steps.)
If this were my son, I would sit him down, talk it through with him and make sure he understands how concerned I am for him and for his future. Then I would start spending time with him, doing things with him that might help him make a decision on a career choice. It's a huge decision for young people, and many don't want to just settle for whatever is available (i.e., a job). They want to do something fulfilling and meaningful to them personally (i.e., a career of interest). YOU as a parent can help him with that. Yes, it will take some of your time, obviously, but imo will be helpful and get you where you want to go. Make him a "project" in your life and help him understand that this is not optional, that he must move toward more adult behavior. You will help him, as long as he does his part. If he refuses or is uncooperative, let him know that there is a deadline to this. You'll stick with him and be patient while he's working on getting himself together, but he MUST be showing you improvement. He MUST be making an effort. For now, he can take any old basic job - like working fast food, for instance, WHILE he is figuring out his long term strategy. Just the discipline of getting up and punching a time clock every day will be good for him.
For the long term strategy of a lifelong career / job, you can also help. As his parent, you should know what his interests are, in what areas he excels. Is he good with math? Is he more brawn than brain? Or is it the opposite? Help him to hone in on the areas where he is most likely to succeed. Then figure out - is this the sort of path that requires a college degree? Is this more of a trade school type career? Step by step, lead him to success. If you can't do it, find someone who can. Hopefully you will be able to. Good luck.
I'm going to take your advice. I started my own vocational schooling for him, I edited my post and he's now doing very well at unicorn wrangling.
This could be why he's having such problems.