No offense but your current marriage seems like an odd arrangement with a mail order bride but if it works for you so be it. It appears you like to have the upper hand, it seems controlling.We're coming up on our 39th anniversary, ours was a one night stand that's lasted nearly 4 decades.We are equal partners in nearly all decisions we make as a couple. Religion has nothing to do with it.
Hunh? You read a LOT into what I said and don't denigrate my wife as a mail-order bride... We met online and she was working for a very rich Saudi Family who were good to her. She is a licensed Midwife in the Philippines and was working as a private nurse for an asthmatic child. The family she worked for had their own Jet, they took her and all their staff to Greece, Paris, London, If anything I was the mail-order husband.
The upper hand? My wife and I keep our finances separate and I pay 2/3rds of our House Bills, along with half the food etc... even though she earns more than I do. That allows her the ability to indulge her adult family by supporting them even though they don't work. Why is that ok with me? Because I am ok with it for the sake of the children in the family. I paid to add on and finish most of our house in the Bukid, and took fucking diaper showers with caught rainwater, lived without the internet, electricity was often off for days at a time and hours at a time. Drinking water was hard to come by because the roads become unpassable quite often due to storms.
My wife was naughty in all the ways you would know about if you were married to a Filipina. I won't write about that here. I NEVER felt so tiny in my life than I did on our second day together in Manila and she did a bad thing. I have always put her first, while Filipino culture trains women to put their families first. I only moved us to a different Island when her POS son, cousins, and friends ate a starving dog I'd throw food to because she was nursing past weaning-aged puppies.
I could write a novel, but our relationship was a lot more established than your one-night stand. We video-chatted for hours and hours daily for months before I took a leap of faith and Trusted God to send me a good wife. He did and we are ok with a lot of cultural bumps along the way. I can count on less than 10 fingers I asked my wife to get me anything, and we have been married 13 years. I'm no angel, I believe in a balanced relationship. I don't berate her that I pay most of our bills in the USA very often, and she doesn't pester me too much about not helping in the house much.
Unlike many expats, I wan't having problems getting laid and went abroad because I was horny, I wanted to find a wife not someone who is Mrs. My life Is a Disaster Help me! Which is what I was getting. Filipinas aren't submissive like people think, but they can be practical and kind. That why so many make good nurses. My wife has been good to me too, sometimes she makes my lunch for work, and she makes in very nicely, If she gives me grapes they will be in a plastic container with a napkin to absorb any moisture. If she makes Tuna, she puts everything in separate containers so the friggen bread doesn't get soggy.
Normally I do my own laundry to help out, but sometimes she just does it if I haven't yet. I often have to do it before she does. The last 2 years and this coming Dec she will be taking a month Vacation in her country for a month. I pitch-in.
You read too much into what I wrote... Enjoy your day. Thanks, I needed to take my mind off all that happening in the world for a while.
No offense but you seem to denigrate your wife by calling her naughty, as though she's a child. My one night stand has 3 times longer than your marriage so we're solid, so I don't understand your swipe that you're more established. Weird comparison. As I said before if it works for the two that's all that matters.
She was immature, that was long ago. Both her and my first wife were Widows, She was working abroad, because she married a standby guy (Non-worker) to spite her parents because they wouldn't let her go to nursing school, they wanted her to be a teacher. When her son was 4 she worked in Singapore with a fixer passport for 2 years, then 2 additional years in Hong Kong with an actual passport. When her son was 8, her first husband was shot in front of her son, in their hometown in a restaurant. She returned home and the money she had saved to start their house (Quite common for OFWs, most Filipinos build a home without a mortgage) she used to go to Midwife school. Lots of Filipino men tried to court them and she purposely led them on having them take her and her friends out and spend as much of their money as possible. People there have very little disposable income... Flash Forward to Us, I'm a low wage earner that managed to save up a bit and owned my own condo, had a rental, and financed another for my sister. They were paid for, but understand all 3 were less than 100K Combined.
So, I was working as a security Guard at a SNAP office and threw my normally conservative ways out the window, Trusting God to send me a good wife. I took 7 weeks off, and that is not easy to get with a contract security company, Instead of buying cheap wedding rings, I bought very nice ones, no stones, but heavy Tri-Colored Gold. I'd thought to myself, I'd had nice rings for my first wife, and my new wife will be better why shortchange her with a cheap ring?
She had a problem leaving Saudi, because her agency had her passport and claimed they lost it. She lied to the family she worked for saying she would work for them directly, they offered her double salary, but was still only 40% of what the agency paid her. Since she agreed to return to work directly, her employer went to the agency and made them give her the passport. Saudi is ruled by about 1,000 princes and he is one of them...
So, I had to delay my trip until she was able to get back home, and I ended up in Manila Early Wednesday of Holy Week. I had to manage my money carefully because the intent was to only be in Manila 2 days, to get a letter from the Embassy certifying my ability to get married, and I had to fund us to stay 5 days instead. She had lied to me on the phone (I won't share what about), and then when her friends who were in Manila invited us over to visit. She Orders me to pay for her and her friend to get their nails done. It wasn't expensive, but thats not the point, she ORDERED me to. I didn't but did not fight about it.
So after we flew to her Province she basically marched me around to visit all her friends and family, and its their custom to bring Pasolobong (Gifts, food) I did that because it was their custom. In essence, she was treating me like her unsuccessful courters, and that continued until long after the wedding. I had to cancel our planned Honeymoon because her brother was drunk and broke his wrist in a motorcycle accident with a dog on the weekend of our wedding. He was in the Hospital in the Capital, but his PhilHealth (Medicaid was vastly in areas) You can take food and pay the areas and the local officials will let you catch up. You have to pay ALL out of pocket, the hospital doesn't provide medical supplies or medicines like antibiotics. There are fleamarket Pharmacy Booths outside all the hospitals.
Her Mother was on the Opposite of the Province in a Hospital for an egg-sized boil on her head. She had PhilHealth, but you still have to pay for supplies medicine, and procedures. PhilHealth barely pays for the room. You also have to have a watcher in the hospitals there, and it can be a relative, friend, or someone you pay, but the hospital doesn't provide grooming or feeding and they have the watcher do most of the care thats not technical. The Watchers are dirt poor, and if its family or a good friend you don't need to pay them, but you need to pay for their transportation and feed them and the patients.
Before the two hospital stays, I went with my wife and did things the Filipino way, buying gifts and food everywhere for all her friends and family. Filipinos know their 4th friggen' cousins... So my money was extra tight, and I put my foot down. However, I paid to update the brother-in-law's Paperwork, paid for all the medical needs, and paid for the watchers and food. My 10-day honeymoon became bouncing around between the two cities taking care of all that. If I didn't put my foot down and quit my wife's extravagant making me broke BS, the Patients would not have been treated. In the Philippines, if you have PhilHealth you get the hospital room, but treatment requires cash, nothing is free. BTW PhilHealth eventually pays some of the costs (20%) Back to the patients a long time later. I paid all the charges and didn't get a penny back when the patients got the 20% a few months later.
I married in the Philippines instead of bringing my bride-to-be to the USA first like 95% of men do, because my wife had to help her family or go back to Saudi, there is no SNAP to feed her mother or her lazy ass son there. So after I returned to the USA, I sent my wife money to live on, help her family, and send her all over to get the paperwork needed for her Visa, Filipinos NEVER have paperwork until they absolutely have to. This Included flying her back to her province (She stayed with friends because no internet at her Moms for us to communicate), then to Manila, because of local Marriage Licenses are not acceptable and the NSA (National Statistics Authority) took a year or longer to process and be sent out.
When my wife arrived in February, I sent her to CNA school so she could go to work, a 2-weekend course. At the end they give you a letter so you can get a job and you have a certain amount of time to apply for the license. I was paying all our expenses, including buying a car (I'd quit driving years before poor vision) So I had additional bills, a car payment and Insurance. I also sent money to her mother. My wife didn't even look for a job until after six months I lied and told her I would send her back to the Philippines.
So Yeah, MY wife was Immature, but she did go to work and I'm proud of how hard she worked too! A CNA is basically an adult diaper changer, her 2-year Midwife AS degree wouldn't get her a job in that field, here it's a 6-year program. So in her Nursing home, every area smells, poop, pee, and medicines, except my wife's area. She is not responsible for cleaning, they have cleaning people, but she wanted to be in a clean environment. She had 15 Patients at night if all her co-workers showed up, 20 if 1 called off. Of her 15, 9 were in Diapers, and 3 were so fat they had a machine to lift them up. An ultra-obese patient can poop a lot! One of them would get constipated for a few days at a time... Use your imagination on just how much that person can poop, and your arm is up past your elbows to clean. I felt sorry, as a man, I didn't really know just how terrible that job was.
There's a lot more to our story, but needless to say, after 13 years my wife is A lot more mature, and I'm a lot more patient and forgiving. Note: I didn't tell you what my wife lied about before we met, nor did I tell you what she did, but I honored my promise to stick by whomever God sent my way as long as she didn't cheat, and I'm glad I did, we have only had a few bad arguments in our 13 years, and that's more than most people can say. I don't control my wife, even if you got that impression.
No offense but your current marriage seems like an odd arrangement with a mail order bride but if it works for you so be it. It appears you like to have the upper hand, it seems controlling.We're coming up on our 39th anniversary, ours was a one night stand that's lasted nearly 4 decades.We are equal partners in nearly all decisions we make as a couple. Religion has nothing to do with it.
Hunh? You read a LOT into what I said and don't denigrate my wife as a mail-order bride... We met online and she was working for a very rich Saudi Family who were good to her. She is a licensed Midwife in the Philippines and was working as a private nurse for an asthmatic child. The family she worked for had their own Jet, they took her and all their staff to Greece, Paris, London, If anything I was the mail-order husband.
The upper hand? My wife and I keep our finances separate and I pay 2/3rds of our House Bills, along with half the food etc... even though she earns more than I do. That allows her the ability to indulge her adult family by supporting them even though they don't work. Why is that ok with me? Because I am ok with it for the sake of the children in the family. I paid to add on and finish most of our house in the Bukid, and took fucking diaper showers with caught rainwater, lived without the internet, electricity was often off for days at a time and hours at a time. Drinking water was hard to come by because the roads become unpassable quite often due to storms.
My wife was naughty in all the ways you would know about if you were married to a Filipina. I won't write about that here. I NEVER felt so tiny in my life than I did on our second day together in Manila and she did a bad thing. I have always put her first, while Filipino culture trains women to put their families first. I only moved us to a different Island when her POS son, cousins, and friends ate a starving dog I'd throw food to because she was nursing past weaning-aged puppies.
I could write a novel, but our relationship was a lot more established than your one-night stand. We video-chatted for hours and hours daily for months before I took a leap of faith and Trusted God to send me a good wife. He did and we are ok with a lot of cultural bumps along the way. I can count on less than 10 fingers I asked my wife to get me anything, and we have been married 13 years. I'm no angel, I believe in a balanced relationship. I don't berate her that I pay most of our bills in the USA very often, and she doesn't pester me too much about not helping in the house much.
Unlike many expats, I wan't having problems getting laid and went abroad because I was horny, I wanted to find a wife not someone who is Mrs. My life Is a Disaster Help me! Which is what I was getting. Filipinas aren't submissive like people think, but they can be practical and kind. That why so many make good nurses. My wife has been good to me too, sometimes she makes my lunch for work, and she makes in very nicely, If she gives me grapes they will be in a plastic container with a napkin to absorb any moisture. If she makes Tuna, she puts everything in separate containers so the friggen bread doesn't get soggy.
Normally I do my own laundry to help out, but sometimes she just does it if I haven't yet. I often have to do it before she does. The last 2 years and this coming Dec she will be taking a month Vacation in her country for a month. I pitch-in.
You read too much into what I wrote... Enjoy your day. Thanks, I needed to take my mind off all that happening in the world for a while.
No offense but you seem to denigrate your wife by calling her naughty, as though she's a child. My one night stand has 3 times longer than your marriage so we're solid, so I don't understand your swipe that you're more established. Weird comparison. As I said before if it works for the two that's all that matters.
She was immature, that was long ago. Both her and my first wife were Widows, She was working abroad, because she married a standby guy (Non-worker) to spite her parents because they wouldn't let her go to nursing school, they wanted her to be a teacher. When her son was 4 she worked in Singapore with a fixer passport for 2 years, then 2 additional years in Hong Kong with an actual passport. When her son was 8, her first husband was shot in front of her son, in their hometown in a restaurant. She returned home and the money she had saved to start their house (Quite common for OFWs, most Filipinos build a home without a mortgage) she used to go to Midwife school. Lots of Filipino men tried to court them and she purposely led them on having them take her and her friends out and spend as much of their money as possible. People there have very little disposable income... Flash Forward to Us, I'm a low wage earner that managed to save up a bit and owned my own condo, had a rental, and financed another for my sister. They were paid for, but understand all 3 were less than 100K Combined.
So, I was working as a security Guard at a SNAP office and threw my normally conservative ways out the window, Trusting God to send me a good wife. I took 7 weeks off, and that is not easy to get with a contract security company, Instead of buying cheap wedding rings, I bought very nice ones, no stones, but heavy Tri-Colored Gold. I'd thought to myself, I'd had nice rings for my first wife, and my new wife will be better why shortchange her with a cheap ring?
She had a problem leaving Saudi, because her agency had her passport and claimed they lost it. She lied to the family she worked for saying she would work for them directly, they offered her double salary, but was still only 40% of what the agency paid her. Since she agreed to return to work directly, her employer went to the agency and made them give her the passport. Saudi is ruled by about 1,000 princes and he is one of them...
So, I had to delay my trip until she was able to get back home, and I ended up in Manila Early Wednesday of Holy Week. I had to manage my money carefully because the intent was to only be in Manila 2 days, to get a letter from the Embassy certifying my ability to get married, and I had to fund us to stay 5 days instead. She had lied to me on the phone (I won't share what about), and then when her friends who were in Manila invited us over to visit. She Orders me to pay for her and her friend to get their nails done. It wasn't expensive, but thats not the point, she ORDERED me to. I didn't but did not fight about it.
So after we flew to her Province she basically marched me around to visit all her friends and family, and its their custom to bring Pasolobong (Gifts, food) I did that because it was their custom. In essence, she was treating me like her unsuccessful courters, and that continued until long after the wedding. I had to cancel our planned Honeymoon because her brother was drunk and broke his wrist in a motorcycle accident with a dog on the weekend of our wedding. He was in the Hospital in the Capital, but his PhilHealth (Medicaid was vastly in areas) You can take food and pay the areas and the local officials will let you catch up. You have to pay ALL out of pocket, the hospital doesn't provide medical supplies or medicines like antibiotics. There are fleamarket Pharmacy Booths outside all the hospitals.
Her Mother was on the Opposite of the Province in a Hospital for an egg-sized boil on her head. She had PhilHealth, but you still have to pay for supplies medicine, and procedures. PhilHealth barely pays for the room. You also have to have a watcher in the hospitals there, and it can be a relative, friend, or someone you pay, but the hospital doesn't provide grooming or feeding and they have the watcher do most of the care thats not technical. The Watchers are dirt poor, and if its family or a good friend you don't need to pay them, but you need to pay for their transportation and feed them and the patients.
Before the two hospital stays, I went with my wife and did things the Filipino way, buying gifts and food everywhere for all her friends and family. Filipinos know their 4th friggen' cousins... So my money was extra tight, and I put my foot down. However, I paid to update the brother-in-law's Paperwork, paid for all the medical needs, and paid for the watchers and food. My 10-day honeymoon became bouncing around between the two cities taking care of all that. If I didn't put my foot down and quit my wife's extravagant making me broke BS, the Patients would not have been treated. In the Philippines, if you have PhilHealth you get the hospital room, but treatment requires cash, nothing is free. BTW PhilHealth eventually pays some of the costs (20%) Back to the patients a long time later. I paid all the charges and didn't get a penny back when the patients got the 20% a few months later.
I married in the Philippines instead of bringing my bride-to-be to the USA first like 95% of men do, because my wife had to help her family or go back to Saudi, there is no SNAP to feed her mother or her lazy ass son there. So after I returned to the USA, I sent my wife money to live on, help her family, and send her all over to get the paperwork needed for her Visa, Filipinos NEVER have paperwork until they absolutely have to. This Included flying her back to her province (She stayed with friends because no internet at her Moms for us to communicate), then to Manila, because of local Marriage Licenses are not acceptable and the NSA (National Statistics Authority) took a year or longer to process and be sent out.
When my wife arrived in February, I sent her to CNA school so she could go to work, a 2-weekend course. At the end they give you a letter so you can get a job and you have a certain amount of time to apply for the license. I was paying all our expenses, including buying a car (I'd quit driving years before poor vision) So I had additional bills, a car payment and Insurance. I also sent money to her mother. My wife didn't even look for a job until after six months I lied and told her I would send her back to the Philippines.
So Yeah, MY wife was Immature, but she did go to work and I'm proud of how hard she worked too! A CNA is basically an adult diaper changer, her 2-year Midwife AS degree wouldn't get her a job in that field, here it's a 6-year program. So in her Nursing home, every area smells, poop, pee, and medicines, except my wife's area. She is not responsible for cleaning, they have cleaning people, but she wanted to be in a clean environment. She had 15 Patients at night if all her co-workers showed up, 20 if 1 called off. Of her 15, 9 were in Diapers, and 3 were so fat they had a machine to lift them up. An ultra-obese patient can poop a lot! One of them would get constipated for a few days at a time... Use your imagination on just how much that person can poop, and your arm is up past your elbows to clean. I felt sorry, as a man, I didn't really know just how terrible that job was.
There's a lot more to our story, but needless to say, after 13 years my wife is A lot more mature, and I'm a lot more patient and forgiving. Note: I didn't tell you what my wife lied about before we met, nor did I tell you what she did, but I honored my promise to stick by whomever God sent my way as long as she didn't cheat, and I'm glad I did, we have only had a few bad arguments in our 13 years, and that's more than most people can say. I don't control my wife, even if you got that impression.
Have a great day!
Lol, you signed up for this insanity. 🤣 I would've run for the hills.