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Personal research and intelligence gathering, for lack of better term, to me anyway, involves being open to ALL possibilities, even if they meander into uncharted territory, areas you don't understand or agree with, because I know there's a huge slice of the information pie I don't know, but an even bigger part that I don't know that I don't know.

Early on, this was a lot more challenging because I had to go over, around or bust through all the guardrails put in place the first few decades of my life on various "channels" of the spectrum. Areas like religion, perceived authority including govt, taboos, beliefs, etc - that were literally hard wired to my core (root chakra) - which made new ideas that challenged imprinted knowledge difficult to consider or adopt because you had to put extreme effort into reprogramming yourself - repeatedly - to get new ideas that were aligned to your true individual feelings/perspectives to root and grow. It's ongoing...old habits and indoctrination die hard and still have to be shovelled back decades, into authentic beliefs, truths and ideas adopted during a personal awakening.

For some of us, there comes a point where you are confronted with an existential crisis - Something that goes WAY behind merely a "mid-life crisis" - one could even say, a "life long crisis" - because the desire to "know" literally burns inside you like a hot splinter that won't leave you alone. In some cases, this becomes your primary MO - to find your truth - and it blankets your consciousness - You try to push it off or to the proverbial back burner because the minutiae of life has to be done...but no matter what you do, there's no avoiding what some call, The Dark Night of the Soul

You begin to question absolutely EVERYTHING that you've been told to believe your whole life - You unravel all the "supposed mysteries" that previous generations blindly followed to get them through life (and you're gonna believe/do that too because that's what this family believes...) - except that no longer works anymore. A LOT of things no longer work anymore. (sound familiar?) So you have to TEAR IT ALL DOWN AND START OVER FROM SCRATCH. It's certainly not an easy thing to do...and it's not like you've got nothing better to do, so you just decide to upend absolutely everything that was a "rock" or anchor or semblance of stability because you love chaos or something...No. It's existential. Live with the burning splinter of "the question" (It's the question, that drives us, Neo) and find ways to stuff that back down...mute it...drown it out OR get on with it and really start looking.

I shouldn't have to tell anyone here that we're in a battle between good and evil. When you shake it all down, run the slop of everything thru a sieve, and sift it all out - that's pretty much what you've got coming out. Are you going to live like an ignorant selfish animal or embrace godly ideas and act on them. Simplistic I know, but that's about it.

There came a point for me, someone who grew up Roman Catholic - spiritually starving and unsatisfied with what little "food" was offered, despite "giving myself fully to the program" (alter boy, youth ministry, etc) - It was over for me by around 15. There was way more...I didn't know what that was, and I set off to find "it" - I set off to find "me"...and set off to find God...The Supreme Creator, Who has no name.

I had to go back - rewind it all back to the beginning and imagine that if I were somehow dropped in the middle of a forest for instance, with no outside influences, ideas, indoctrination, belief systems, etc - What would I deduce on my own? What story would I make up about why I am here? What would be my ideas and relationship to God? It certainly would NOT be sky daddy or some story about some guy from the middle east who wanted me to eat his flesh and drink his blood - I can tell you that straight up.

They say that the process of finding out who you really are is like peeling back the layers of an onion - there are a lot of tears along the way they don't tell you about...many HARD challenges, but also many revelations. As I mentioned before, this wasn't some kind of hobby - It was REQUIRED from a soul-level that I find out certain answers because the pangs of needing to know dominated my thoughts and emotions every day my entire life. Sticking with the process of peeling things back, never stopping or being fooled into thinking, "that's the final answer" - inevitably lead to me coming full circle and I think anyone who truly seeks "hard enough" will eventually come full circle and see things and understand things that you couldn't early on. As soon as you think you've got it all "figured out" - You don't. You're screwed. Search again.

The goal of EVERY modality of meditation, many eastern religions etc is to become silent and still. To become EMPTY. It is out of the silence of the mind that all is truly revealed. The reason many kinds of meditation use a sound, phrase or mantra - is simply to give the never ending monkey chattering mind something to do - to hypnotize it into not chattering as much, so you can divert your attention to the eternal observer within yourself that is beyond the mind. But many fail at becoming truly still because they believe that the goal is to make the mind silent...and THAT is truly difficult and/or impossible. Instead, it is your ATTENTION that must be managed, steered or focused away from every idea and thought that the mind generates and runs under your nose. Just look at how many listen to every thing that the mind throws up in front of them like a calling card and then you just blindly run with it - then wonder how the hell you wound up doing whatever whacked out idea you latched onto just because YOUR mind ran it in front of you?

All you are looking for, is where you are looking from - St. Frances of Assisi

Contrary to the tagline from the X-Files, the "truth" is NOT out there. When you become truly quiet and you direct your attention to the one that sees all within yourself, you observe the observer - you experience your own conscious presence. Now don't get me wrong, this is still a challenge to "achieve", but everyone is capable of doing it. You don't have to learn ANYTHING - don't have to meditate for 50 years to "get it" - don't have to belong to any religion - NOTHING - and that's the point - Nothingness. Zero knowledge required. Roll it all back to the point of origin. "Cast your net to the other side" - "You're going the wrong way"

In this conscious presence, you experience your true self. NOT the character your are playing in this life - there is no gender, there is no anything - you have no name - the REAL you is revealed - the One with no name - unlike the name they gave your character in this life. In this revelation, you see the world with the love and compassion of the Christ. There is no judgement. There is no fear. There is only your natural state of love and compassion for everyone - which is true unity and fellowship. All that is unnecessary is BURNED UP in this state of consciousness. This includes anything to do with genetics/bloodlines/biblical begats, religions, dogma, karma, all worldly concerns, right/wrong, judgement and the list goes on - It's all irrelevant in this space of truth.

And so, it all comes full circle - back to the Christ - the TRUE Christ, who said that you can be just like me and more - He was the way, the Truth and the Light - THE EXAMPLE for the world to follow. His greatest commandment:

to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself

In silence, you are in communion with God. You get to experience a taste of Christ's love and compassion for humanity. It isn't a BELIEF, it is a KNOWING - Big difference. Ask yourself if you truly are capable of loving your neighbor as yourself. Seriously. HOW is that even possible when he does things that literally piss you off to no end and make you throw hate daggers over the fence at him? You can't "get" what the Christ was trying to tell you unless you quiet yourself enough to be in communion with God. It is there, beyond your body, beyond your mind, beyond any belief that you have, BEYOND JUDGEMENT OF ANY KIND, that the Truth - EFFORTLESSLY - in communion with God, that you understand what the Christ was telling us. It's experiential...and all the bs concerns about the character you are playing and worldly concerns are completely, an in an instant burned up and become irrelevant.

THIS is your birthright - to KNOW the truth. Not to "believe real good" or "believe real hard" whatever some book, preacher or otherwise tells you that you should believe. The answer is NOT more information - it's less. One thing should be absolutely clear to you as the world appears to embrace darkness more and more each day. That's the competition for your attention. There are 1000+ channels of TV, internet, music, books, honkeytonk, sportsball, etc etc to keep you from getting quiet. ALWAYS SOMETHING - some kind of noise pollution or racket going on EVERYWHERE to keep you from ever getting quiet. And if you manage to mute all those things, there's always your monkey chattering mind to keep you from being quiet - through projected fantasies or horrors - it's always something isn't it? Observe and acknowledge that for a second...and those that will do ANYTHING not to be alone...not to be CONSTANTLY entertained or occupied.

This isn't really where I wanted to go with this, this morning...but Spirit seems to be pouring all this out on the page because somebody needs to hear it I guess. I was going to mention some of the things about 2024/2025 that people were channeling...not just one or two...MANY...Maybe more on that later. I don't want to color this with darkness...

Peace be with you...I love you all - even though I may think your character or role is shit - I love YOU - the God within you made of the same stuff as the God within me - a long way of saying, Namaste - The God within me, bows to the God within you.

I tell you this today, because MANY are struggling, many are experiencing their own dark night of the soul or other existential crisis. I want you to know you are NOT alone. We are going to have challenging times ahead. Please take your connection to God serioulsy - whatever that means to YOU at this time. We are going to need God and we are going to need each other more and more as things progress going forward. It's UP TO US as God's soldiers, to be the Light in this world and an inspiration to others - letting them know it's okay for you to be the Light too. From Dark to Light. That's where we're all going.