Ahahahahahaha, oh my God man, it's so jarring and you can tell they know it. Someone is definitely screaming in their earpieces LMAO.
"We interrupt this detailed investigative report by a talented local journalist to read off some CIA-approved birdshit that was written six minutes ago by a glowie with Adderall dust caked around his nose, going so fast that he smeared grease from his half eaten Whopper Jr onto the mock-up he used to fax us! This is BREAKING SHIT, PEOPLE! GET IT UP NOW!"
So, uh, Harrison, law enforcement has been getting this photo out and we're hearing that some, um, people recognized him in a McDonalds! Aren't everyday Americans great!? Law enforcement had been conducting a wide search, assisting uh, NYPD... Aren't our men and women in law enforcement great!?
And I guess police are saying he had the murder weapon on his person when they took him into custody... *Wow, so it seems like, well yup! THEY GOT THE GUY! Pretty much a sure thing. Hmm, don't we wonder about his job, or if he had help? Was there more than one person?
No way Jose. Some girl told him he looked like Luke Bryan when he was playing acoustic guitar outside the local watering hole - it became an indispensable fashion accessory after that, consequences be damned!
Although somewhere deep down he knew that his penchant for always laying low at national restaurant chains coupled with that roll o' quarters in his denims would likely be his downfall. Ah, drat! Foiled again by those meddling actuaries!
[Makes just as much sense as any of THIS, I mean.....]
Nothing like interrupting the reporter who's on-scene to give us the approved version of the story. 🙄
Ahahahahahaha, oh my God man, it's so jarring and you can tell they know it. Someone is definitely screaming in their earpieces LMAO.
So, uh, Harrison, law enforcement has been getting this photo out and we're hearing that some, um, people recognized him in a McDonalds! Aren't everyday Americans great!? Law enforcement had been conducting a wide search, assisting uh, NYPD... Aren't our men and women in law enforcement great!?
And I guess police are saying he had the murder weapon on his person when they took him into custody... *Wow, so it seems like, well yup! THEY GOT THE GUY! Pretty much a sure thing. Hmm, don't we wonder about his job, or if he had help? Was there more than one person?
Total fucking cringe. 🤣🤣
u/#bahaha
Hopefully, the perp took the suppressor off of his gun before stuffing it into his pants.😂
No way Jose. Some girl told him he looked like Luke Bryan when he was playing acoustic guitar outside the local watering hole - it became an indispensable fashion accessory after that, consequences be damned!
Although somewhere deep down he knew that his penchant for always laying low at national restaurant chains coupled with that roll o' quarters in his denims would likely be his downfall. Ah, drat! Foiled again by those meddling actuaries!
[Makes just as much sense as any of THIS, I mean.....]