Was invited by in laws for Christmas Eve dinner weeks in advance. They even invited my mom and grandma. They served us 3-4 day old meat from a dinner party they had days earlier. There was no new food prepared for us including even boiled vegetables being 3 days old. They are wealthy people as am I.
Are we wrong to feel disrespected by this?
Yes.
They wanted to spend time with you on Christmas Eve, and they invited you over. Sharing their Christmas Eve time with you is both love and respect.
That doesn't mean they are connoisseurs of social grace or haute cuisine. You aren't wrong to wish they had done a better job, but if they ate the same food they served you, it means they gave you the same respect they gave themselves.
Don't stress about it. If possible, next year or next appropriate occasion offer to have them over and show them how it's done.
"...if they ate the same food they served you, it means they gave you the same respect they gave themselves."
Yes. That's the important point.
These are wealthy high class people who went all out making a meal for my step mom’s family several days earlier and served us the leftovers. These people are definitely connoisseurs of haute cuisine. They served us 4 day old Peking duck that had been sliced and prepared for the other party and then frozen.
(Peking duck on Christmas Eve? Sounds Jewish to me...)
Not everybody who can afford good things appreciate them. And in some cases, the familiarity of leftovers shows greater trust and confidence in the relationship than an ostentatious show. It's even possible they were thinking "we lucked out with how divine that duck was! Hopefully it'll be just as good when we re-heat it on Christmas Eve!
That said, if you know their intentions and state of mind, and believe they intentionally slighted you, then go ahead and be offended. But being offended is an unhealthy state of mind to maintain for long. For your own well-being, you will have a happier time if you can brush it off.
In the end you can always trust other people to be themselves. If they are people who don't value your company and don't mind demonstrating their feelings, let them alone and spend your time with others that do. But if it's a one-time slip on their part, your life will be better if you can be forgiving.
Well said, c'est la vie.
4 day old left overs are a bit much. personally, with the dinner sounding to have a high fat content, I'd normally be worries about spoilage, but if it was frozen, it sounds like they at least tried to be concious of issues.
Likewise, serving a meal like that may have been less of a slight, if the step-mom's family is super snooty, they probably felt like they had no choice but to serve expensive fancy food friday number of reasons.
If you can feed someone left-overs, it typically means you're very comfortable with the person and you knowo that the person you're serving isn't gonna judge you.
Does it make it right? Depends on your situation. Did the food at least taste good? That would be my question.
I can't eat old food even at my own house. I don't even serve non-organic food, Lol! So, I totally get it. I think me and my husband would have pushed it around on our plates and made it look like we ate at least half of it! A funny memory at least! You'll never forget it. Forgive them and treat yourself to a fancy dinner tonight to make up for it!
Thank you for the reasonable and truthful response. I love the minds and hearts here. It's our responsibility to take the high road and lead our families to peace