Jesus wept. (John 11:35)
This is the shortest verse in the Bible, so I cannot see how it would offend, but then I realized, it’s from the Bible, which is the most controversial book in nations who coddle MUSLIMS!!!!!!!! Strike one! Then I realized the verse mentions Jesus, who is NOT WELCOME on the European continent because of his black and white views about SIN. This is not to mention the fact that he affirmed himself to be the SON OF GOD, the Jewish Messiah, and the only way into heaven for everyone. Strike two!!!!!!! There is also a reference to being SAD, which might trigger folks who regret the trans surgery they had, causing them to weep openly, thus proving that de-transitioners exist in spite of not being allowed to talk about it. Also people who feel helpless under the heel of European Union tyranny might be sad, even though they aren’t supposed to be and can be fined and jailed for unsanctioned sadness . . . Oh, and we mustn’t forget the women and little girls who feel sad about being raped by illegal immigrants and the politicians who get sad at the notion of illegal immigrants being held accountable for all the raping. Oh, right, all those hostile and aggressive exclamation marks. Strike . . . now I lost count!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, that should be sufficient to express my utter DISDAIN for anti-free speech laws that PRESUME to SUBJECT FREE Americans to the will of European bureaucrats. STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC, YOU FECKLESS GOVERNMENT GOONS.
Yes, I am aware of what day it is. Well done, mods. You got me for a second.
I considered that one. Hard to think right now. I'm reeling from the fact that a rocket just took off for the moon with 4 people on it and I knew nothing about it. Complete shock. Worse than falling for the cheeky mods' April Fool's joke.
Yeah seriously...
I was just talking to a fren about this... How low brow and matter of fact it is we're just suddenly going to/from the moon like it's no big deal...
Who's zoomin who?
I found out today they aren't going to land. What a roller coaster ride! I have gone from lingering shock to sudden disappointment, and I just got up.
Off the subject, I got a really good business idea before all the unpleasantness. Tell me what you think. In Florida they are outlawing the poison spray planes, and I came up with a use for all the aircraft that won't be making lines in the sky anymore. They're just going to waste, right? Well, I personally know a number of people who want their cremated remains sprinkled over the Gulf of America, and I bet there are a lot more. Why not take the dearly departed up in those planes? I mean, they already have the set-up. The pilots could head out over the water and spray the deceased (God rest their souls) out the nozzles! Think of the coverage! People frown when you sprinkle your loved ones where they are swimming, and renting a boat is so costly. Plus loved ones can get all mixed up with oil from the boat, and no one wants that.
Everybody wins. It's good for the dearly departed, whose wishes will be abundantly obeyed. It's good for beachgoers, who won't have ashes of the deceased sticking to their suntan oil. It's good for the pilots who can leave their life of crimes against humanity to do something good. But most of all it's good for me. I could probably send a thousand dearly departed through the nozzles on a single run! I't's worth million$! Million$, I tell you!
Pretty great, right? Sometimes I amaze myself.
Excuse me. I have to go practice my smiley Florida Undertaker voice and pick up an alligator.
Good idea... but I think it's better suited in a crop-dusting plane at lower altitude.
No sense wasting all those nutrients that could remineralize the Soylent crops...
Besides, a little "over spray" on vehicles, builds awareness...
They could have soapmaking classes where they first go out and collect the dust from cars in a parking lot while shamelessly leaving flyers advertising future classes under the windshield wipers - if the birds from Alligator Alley don't steal them first and then bring it back to the classroom. If it's raining, Fight Club is already cued up on the VCR/TV combo in the AV department closet. I've thought of everything.... this IS GOING TO WORK!!!
Or - skip cremation altogether just think of the savings and just do a plop and drop from altitude into the sea - Right, chum? Now available in extra chunky!!!
As for me... I don't give a shit where my dead carcass winds up. I told family they can just flip me in a dumpster somewhere....douse it with high test and light it on fire if they really want a fancy tribute. OR give me a 21 gun salute out of a pump shotgun after loading my remains in some shells. Alternating shots of Dragonsbreath rounds would be over the top.
Talking like this offends people...GOOD. They need to realize they are not their body, and take corrective mental action. If you're not laughing at this point, you're two tents. I'm a wigwam, or an igloo or some days even a teepee.
I LIKE it!