You've put into words (eloquently) what I've been struggling with since 2017... There's always a Silver Lining to be sought, even in the darkest of situations.
I've remained 50/50 on Q (and insider MIL/GOV action) since the email leaks and start of the drops, always discerning theory and rationale, at least with an open eye.
I will say this... Regardless of whether or not any portion of this was true, the Q movement, in its essence, represents a vast portion of America that wants to see corruption (domestic/international) brought to justice. It represents pissed off people who want and push for the betterment of society on all levels, for all races, and all political affiliation. It isn't in any way a cult as so many seem to label it as... Rather, a movement towards information and peace.
One day at a time man, don't get lost in the big dark hole of things. Take it one day at a time and never lose sight of what matters most.