100%. Very true. Thank you.
Yes he wil.
Just wanted to check in here - God has given me another day. Going to equip myself with some more armor and continue reading scripture on this Sunday.
Yep. Exactly. Really not a big deal.
"I'm sorry I tried to take your coloring book without asking."
"That's okay, just remember this one is mine and you have yours - but if you need help printing a coloring page, I'm happy to help you."
That's all I want. Just normal, 100% sanity.
Yeah, could probably get on an Amtrak. But go where?
Thank you for the links. Looking at these resources now. I keep telling myself I should hold out and not let the devil win but, honestly, if I'm going to lose my sanity, something has to give. Like, there needs to be an answer.
Thank you. Yes, I didn't share it as already had, but weve been going through a divorce for over a year now (and I mean going through because she insisted about 15 months ago that we separate, so we moved into separate rooms, yet we continue to live together). I've brought this up recently and "nothing has changed" so yes I do wish I could just find some place alone. I think fishing or doing something outside in nature is a great idea. I'm so exhausted from work that I often spend my day off just sleeping as much as I can then doing some indoor games like things on the nintendo switch. I dont have much energy to even leave the house. I appreciate the work suggestions - I'm very happy with where I am and am currently a contractor hoping to make it full time which will change thing significantly, so I don't have a desire to leave just yet. Want to see it through. I think primary custody is probably what I should fight for, as well. She even just told me yesterday "I think hou should take her, I want to focus on my career and I just cant (she just finished school)". Funny because, like I told her, we are still parents. Nothing changes that. And asked her what if I wanted to flip the script and go to school full time, have her pay all the bills, how would she feel? Her response: "BUT YOU DIDNT!" just cant grasp any of my points. I'm like "Yeah ,but if I did?" "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO, YOU HATE SCHOOL!" Point being - she went to school for four years while I worked. I did this so I could ensure she got her degree. I busted my ass. Now she literally just graduated a week ago and has been wanting a divorce for the last year. So I sacrificed all of that just so I could set her up with a degree and set myself up with a divorce.
Makes me wonder if we've all been MKUltraed :( This stuff was never happening with my wife 2-3 years ago. But in all seriousness, thank you for standing with me.
and I agree wholeheartidly. I believe I have a purpose that is going to be used very soon as a testimony of some sort. I dont know what, or why, or really any of the details. But the trials I have been through to get this far... I keep wondering what my purpose is and why I'm here. There must be a reason.
Thank you so much
Yes there is. Unfortunately I have no where to go. Even if I try to leave for 10 mins, which I did last night, it's a bit ridiculous. We live on the edge of a highway so going for a walk literally means walking down the 55 mph road with no sidewalk. There's not really an escape. I have no one I can go stay with, no money for a hotel or other home, etc. Have one car, but no clue where I'd go. I've thought about just leaving for the evening and taking a few hours to myself, but I literally never leave because I have no idea where I'd go. I don't drink, so I'm not going to a bar. Not sure. Especially because this stuff typically happens around 8-9 pm
Yep very true, this is what I keep telling myself. And it's what I've told the family, as well, which I prayed over it aloud at dinner, specifically mentioning that when we come into agreement the Lord hears our words and makes it so - and thus I cast out all demons and satan from this house. Had some sideways eyes at the dinner table. But wife actually agreed and sobbed which was odd to see. I can be as clean as possible but it's also a matter of what is going on in this house, isnt it? Like what if my oldest daughter is not living a biblical life? And thus it lets in the Devil? I feel like I cant combat it from every single angle.
thank you
I appreciate that. I'd love to but I dont know how to send a message, I dont see that option
yes. I've researched it heavily in the past.
Also, I'm not sure man. I don't know what I want to do going forward. I want to raise my youngest. But she threw another curveball at me a week ago by saying she wants to move six hours away. And I don't want to move. I have no interest in moving. Yet this is somehow solidified now as she keeps saying to the kids "well, when we move, xyz". I want to be with them but I don't want to go there. I don't know anymore what to do with my life. Everything around me is crumbling.
Yes. She definitely is.
I just went and told her that I absolutely was not taking on another dog and that it was not right of her to tell the kids that we were. To which she said "mmhmm." I then said I also don't understand why someone would buy a dog then decide they're going to travel a lot and not want the dog. To which she started "THEY'RE GOOD PEOPLE" .... which I said I'm happy for us to find a home for the dog. Then she said she'd just take the dog and I'll take our dog. So I told her if that's what she wants to do, if she wants to make it her full responsibility, fine. Otherwise, I'm moving out and she can take on all responsibilites.
I feel like I'm in the freaking twilight zone.
Like this is absolutely bat shit crazy. We can't even pay our bills. Yet we're going to take on another responsibility.
yes, and I have a 21 year old step daughter who lives with us. She's in and out as she stays with her boyfriend half the time.
Good idea. "But he loves our kids and the kids love him. And they said he's just so happy going to our house."
With the back to the future going backwards, then dragons at the end. Is he implying we are going back in time? Annd there will be dragons?
GameStop's all time high was on May 31 - so literally the opposite, May 13. Life is art. or something.
Is it coincidence that we're dealing with severe storms and tornado outbreaks? They scare the crap out of me.
there it is. thank you
Because I've tried this method and she literally told me "leave me along and stop being so clingy! You're so clingy all the time! Give me space!" Sooo attempting it again I figured I'd get the same response.
She claims she does still love me but that she's not "in love" with me. At which point I'm often like well, love doesn't hurt, and all this stuff is hurtful. So it's hard to comprehend. I did ask her about affairs - she said no, that she would never do that.
Completely agree on not adding fuel - I am already a very stoic person by nature. I don't get rattled easily and find myself very calm under stress.
This really interesting. Because during this time I am drawing closer and closer to God and, as I get closer, I feel like I come across more problems. Definitely the devil, I agree. Just wish I could get her to see that.
Much appreciated
That's the only thing keeping me going - knowing that I'd be leaving her in this dysfunction and toxicity. I have to see her out of it somehow and someway.