I am in shock and have been crying a lot. All I know is she was not vaccinated, did have some medical issues, was sick for a week, and went to the emergency room. They said she had healthy vitals (she did have co-morbidities and was older). Very shortly thereafter they said she took a turn for the worse and put her in ICU. She died early this morning.
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The quote was 2 up from yours. I believe you agreed with that person and said : "Nice. That’s a good one. Go at it from the “health” angle." in reply to : "explain how relatives health issues can "run in the family" and you want to be in the know" in reply to the OP, who I quoted.
I'm disagreeing with both of you. Yeah.....the OP wants to know.
His sister died. He wants answers, and he's bitching online.
Tough shit. His sister's husband is burying her. He was living with her every day. He's trying to explain it to their child. He's making the arrangements. He's paying the bills.....funeral, medical, and supporting both himself and his child.
Maybe the OP doesn't make demands right now. If he does, he probably won't like the answer.
While that may be the husbands right, that’s also OPs sister. He has a right to know about what happened to his sister.
Wow…. Have you no empathy? Just bc it’s not his wife or kid doesn’t mean he can’t feel grief or want answers.
Yes it’s a touchy subject and that’s why going about it from a “health” perspective may be more tactful way of handling it.
Regardless of what the husband says, that’s OPs choice to do smth or to not do smth.
My experience was I received many demands for 'things'.....and no offers for help, other than 'we'll be there next week to 'help' you remove her things'.
Should the same happen in the case of OP's sister, I doubt her husband will tolerate many demands now or in the future.
Pay for a memorial mass. Send a card that doesn't involve a demand for something. I'd say 'help pay a bill'....maybe open a 529 plan for the child's education, although OP said the children are 'adults'. Wait year, then ask. If OP helped, odds are that'll be noticed. If OP didn't help and had nothing but demands, odds are that'll be noticed also.
Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately our worst enemies sometimes are our closest family members. I’m sorry they weren’t more helpful during your time of grief.
I'm a she, but I agree. I am not going to talk to her husband about it. He is overwhelmed with grief... as are the rest of us. I want to know what they did because she died so quickly... but some of the other posts on here make me think that covid may actually have caused her heart to fail. Their son is an adult... but I get what you are saying. Her husband just lost his wife. I'm sorry you lost yours. I can't even imagine.
I am sorry for your loss.
As you noted, her husband is overwhelmed with grief.
My experience was I received many demands for 'things'.....and no offers for help, other than 'we'll be there next week to 'help' you remove her things'.
Should the same happen in the case of your sister, I doubt her husband will tolerate many demands now or in the future. Pay for a memorial mass. Send a card that doesn't involve a demand for something. I'd say 'help pay a bill'....maybe open a 529 plan for the child's education, although you've said the children are 'adults'. Wait year, then ask. If you helped, odds are that'll be noticed. If you didn't help and have nothing but demands, odds are that'll be noticed also.