The things we are talking about were/have never been explained to me from the pulpit or through my Christian private school education. Ministers/priest, what have you, are not so willing to have this conversation in front of a congregation out of fear of alienating or confusing their people.

I came to my understanding through conversation, reading, prayer and thought. Similar to what you and I are doing right now.

I have never been someone that anyone would look up too as an example of how a Christian should behave. Regardless of what I was taught in my younger life I still questioned and for the most part behaved like a non-believer.

So, if the Koolaide was past by me I obviously did not drink from it. Because who wants Koolaide when there’s plenty of beer, whiskey, wine and blow🤷🏻‍♂️. As I aged I realized all of those good time vices brought me nothing, but pain and misery. It wasn’t until I went searching for a more meaningful existence that I came back to God. Even then it wasn't a ground shaking life altering event. It took me years to come to a comfortable understanding of God.

It seems like you have a problem with religion and not so much God.

If that’s true, I GET IT.