I havent been on here much, but would like to thank everyone for the support a few months ago when i really needed it
I hit 100 days sober a few days ago, and yesterday I was baptized. As the world gets crazier, im finding my personal sanity again.
You're viewing a single comment thread. View all comments, or full comment thread.
Comments (97)
sorted by:
Congratulations!
My dad is currently in rehab for alcoholism, on top of recovering from a lung infection (which he thought was covid) and fractured ribs. He's spent 2 years trying to get sober on his own. The doctor told him that if he didn't come in when he did, he would of been dead within a week. He's been at the rehab center for 30 days and now he's staying an extra 2 weeks because the psychologist said he needed some extra time.
Any advice (from anyone) for when he comes home? Because that's probably gonna be the hardest part about sobriety.
I would say it is his choice. You cannot make him sober. He will have to do it on his own. He should probably join AA and you can support him by offering to go with him to his first meeting the first time.
But at the very least I would remove ALL the alchohol in the home to keep him from being tempted when he gets back.
5+ years sober here. Listen to this guy. It’s important to support him, but he’s gotta walk that path with his own feet. He’s gotta be willing to open up with himself and others that understand where he’s been, why he’s been there, and why he’s gotta stay outta there. Have him try to shoot for a minimum of 5 meetings a week for the first 60 days. There’s a reason the AA community recommends the 90 meetings in 90 days method too.
What you can do for him is, most importantly, continue to pray for him. But also, join an Al-Anon group. Learn about yourself. You may be totally unaware of the ways in which you have become co-dependent through the years of relationship with an addict. Learn to recognize how you have unintentionally enabled his addiction - not in guilt or judging yourself. It isn’t your fault, but it is your reality whether you know that yet or not. My addict son lives with my sister - she doesn’t even realize she enables his addiction, and she can’t understand why SHE needs help when he’s the one with the problem. And so the co-dependent relationship continues, they’re both trapped in it, and he is never motivated to make a change. She makes his addiction (his escape) too comfortable for him. If the critical people in relationship with your Dad can become aware of their role in this reality, and learn to make changes, it will be the best thing any of you can do to help him stay sober.
Go to Al-Anon. Get a copy of "Living Sober" - a AA publication on practical advice. Remove alcohol from the home.
I went to adult children of alcoholics meetings when I was younger. You have been affected by his drinking as well. They may be called something different in your city. I appreciated the support from the people who attended. It was helpful to realize others went through similar stuff. It was great to unload with strangers who could commiserate without feeling judged.
I got sober and I stayed sober with the support of 12 step AA meetings. It worked for me and it led me to a Faith in God . As the 24 hours turned into weeks, months, years, I still use the 12 steps in my life, in all areas of my life. I believe in those first few months, there was no one who could have helped me but other alcoholics who had achieved sobriety, happy men and women whose happiness can be compared to people who have been spared a death sentence. I went a few times a week for my first 10 years, it was haven, it was new friends on a spiritual journey. It's where no one will judge you, and it is where I learned what it means to be humble. I thought I was informed, yet I could not get sober. It is where a PHd does no one any good at all, because the 6th grade graduate can teach a lawyer or doctor something they could not learn, and it is how to stay away from that drink. The one drink takes another and another and another, which is why abstinence is so important. He will be told that in rehab, maybe even set up with his first meeting when he gets out. It works if you work it.