What is this thread all about?
Just a place for general discussion. A place to unload whats on your mind and talk about anything - personal, health, help needed, achievements, daily highs and daily lows, theories, predictions and what have you.
Does not need to be Q related.
I have to vent a bit....
Our families live in Oklahoma, nearly 700 miles away. They complain that we don't go home enough and that they want to see us more often. Meanwhile, they will drive within a hundred miles of our house to go to the beach for a week without so much as a stop or hello. They also plan vacations to other far away places (can't begrudge them that, really, if they've never been there), but they expect us to do all the travelling to see them. My sister couldn't even save us a 12 hour drive by meeting us halfway to get our son this week, so we drove all the way to OK to get him to come back home the next day. We were worn out.
We love our families, and we don't mind being physically apart. That said, it's on them if they want to see us again soon. My mom's health isn't great, and as much as I don't want to have to go back again soon, that would be the only reason I would.
Best advice is to talk to your family, at least the crucial members, one on one, and in the most positive and direct manner, let them know how cumbersome and stressful this is and let them react.
Ahh yes, my family lives 300 miles away. I cannot leave as to the nature of my work, I am under contract to provide a home and care for a man with severe disabilities. What hurts and causes me to pray to not have resentments is that if I lived in a million dollar home, as my sister does, everyone would be wanting to drop in and visit. But it's a few acres and a prefab on a back country road and a small barn. It as always up to me to travel. I just don't do it anymore, it's hard on me physically to sit more than an hour and a half, even if I could get away for a few days.
We all need to vent sometimes. My dad and mom have always been narcissists. I was in therapy about ten years ago when I learned what narcissistic meant. She asked was my mom narcissistic. Me, what’s that? After explanation I said yes she is. My dad wants you to jump at his every request but doesn’t have time for you. I finally stopped trying to please them. We live fifteen minutes from one town and ten minutes from the other. My MIL acts like we live ten hours from her. She’s always talking about the dangerous highway we live on and travel on. It’s a regular two lane highway in the country local cars, eighteen wheelers & dump trucks. It’s too far for them to visit. Gave up long ago. Yet they travel over three states and on HWY 95 to go to casinos. Can’t get more dangerous than four lane highway with speed limit 70.
It looks like we all can commiserate!
Exactly most people I know have at least one negative family member or just a sorry person. I’ve always been a people person and like to make them happy. At a certain point I said F em! I stopped arguing about stuff because it wasn’t worth my time. After I did that I get along with my family because they know they can’t control my actions. My parents are older and my brother and his child are hopeless. I don’t respect people that don’t do for themselves. In a nutshell you shouldn’t be depending on Daddy in your fifty’s. I have to listen to this song before I get together with my family at Christmas. Thankfully my family isn’t this bad.
https://tasteofcountry.com/montgomery-gentry-merry-christmas-from-the-family-top-50-country-christmas-songs/
Interesting, you're not alone, Lucille. We had the same experience in Colorado. When we lived near Denver, we could make it to Colorado Springs [where my brother lived] in about an hour. We would go see him all the time, but he would never come and see us. He didn't have any trouble asking for money, though. When we turned off that tap and moved to Tennessee, that was the last contact we had. It took a while to realize that when you do all the work and get nothing in return, you get played. We got played. Sometimes families are just like that.
Just this last week was being guilted about why we don't visit more. I mentioned that planes went both ways.. stopped the nag for now.
I'm sorry to hear that. It doesn't seem fair, eh? My parents, along with my MIL are the only ones who have come to visit us in 13 years, save when I was hospitalized from a wreck and my sisters came and last year when a cousin had truck trouble and had to have some place to work on the truck before going to the beach. They'd not have stopped otherwise! Heck, my brother must have known I was visiting last weekend and didn't even bother to call or visit. It's their loss.
My sisters seem to stay busy for the sake of staying busy with their jobs and college. I, on the other hand, enjoy life, with less money than they, but seemingly with more quality. I prefer this!
Oh Lucille! This would make me hurt and mad! Vent away! I understand!