My 25 year old lives with me, and that is fine,I am glad that he does. He helps, he helps me a lot. If he did not live with me I would have to find a boarder for next to no rent to help me keep my place up, we homestead. He went to college for 2 years out of high school, and he ended up losing his loan because he flunked out, or stayed up all night in his dorm and slept through classes. I did not want him to go to college right out of high school, I wanted him to get a job, take time off from establishment education, and find his groove. I knew he was not ready, and, he was a C student, so why go to college? Well , it was his choice and he has paid off most of the loan. I told him if there was something he wanted to learn to do, try some courses after work at a community college. He gets distant and dooming when I ask about his plans for the future, so, I leave him alone about it. He can build computers, do handy man work, work with the disabled, and knows how to care for large animals (loves them and working with them). He wants to stay just where he is. If he has a hankering for city life, he takes trips to Boston for these gaming conventions, goes to Cosplay events, car shows, etc, but loves it at home. He works a 35 hour a week job and hustles moonlighting at odd jobs, is a janitor at our old church, splits and stacks wood for older people, tills gardens in the Spring. We have a saying up here "Moonlight in Vermont or starve". His common sense is not there, lets his car get low on oil, lets his laundry pile up until there's "2 cords of it", will sleep through the alarm unless I get him up, stays up till 4 gaming and then feels like shit in the morning when its time to work. When I was his age, I did not have a lot of common sense either. He has a great work ethic, is kind to elders, does not crave a lot of material things. I think responsibility and common sense come with age, and when I look at his peers that he went to High School with, all I can say is, he is doing great. The future looks like hell for a lot of young adults, who were not born with a silver spoon in their mouths. I think long range plans are not to be expected from a lot of younger people, unless they themselves have them. It seems that no one knows what the future will bring, but he knows that he is at least prepared to keep the homestead running and protected.

I’m sorry I don’t have very good advice. I was the same in many ways. I was very rebellious, partied a lot and wasn’t interested in going to school. In fact after high school I either flunked out or just didn’t go to class. I started at a big university, came home and tried community college. I didn’t change until I feel in love, got married and had a child. I don’t believe you can teach common sense. However you can teach people (especially young people) how to do many things the correct way. Is he interested in learning a trade? Many times we work harder when we enjoy what we are doing. Don’t give up on him. Some of us take longer to get our lives together.

I'm going to assume you neighbors up north have the same problems in your public (and some private) school systems with marxist teachers fomenting the "hate your parents" attitudes. Helmet issue? Just mho, but if I had a 17 year old kid I'd sit him down, tell him I'm not going to yell at him, but explain that it's because I love him and care about him that it tears me up when he takes unnecessary risks, that I know there's pressure on him to "look cool" and that young people think they're indestructible, a fantasy he already knows is not true from (your) previous discussions about head injuries. If it's a girl he wants to impress, tell him that by wearing the helmet he's being intelligent so it's a nice way to weed out the stupid, shallow, cult-of-personality girls he really doesn't need dragging him down into other bad decisions going forward.

Ask him to consider himself twenty years from now, settled down with a woman he loves, a family of their own and how would HE feel if his kid were taking unnecessary risks. Ask him if he had a little brother that was doing something risky where he could get severely hurt, maybe permanently, to consider how he would feel.

Also ask him point blank if he feels he doesn't have a good future. I think a lot of these blase, disaffected attitudes of young people come from their marxist teachers (and/or general manipulated society) telling them that striving for excellence is pointless. They get told that there really is no good future for them so that their motivation will be throttled. He's probably stepping into one of the most amazing time periods in history where motivation and hard work will actually reap just, fair rewards (once we get through this horrible storm and quash the DS).

Finally add that it's ultimately up to him to make his own decisions as he's nearing the age when he's going to start forging his own future. Whether he chooses to listen to others and carefully consider all advice given to him or not, he's ultimately the one who has to live with the consequences of his choices.

A question for you (if I may be so bold). . . Are you pushing him into a certain field (like law?) when he may want to be a musician, for example? He seems to have a passion for music. When I was that age my parents kept telling me that the education and career (in my case engineering) was a means to build a life which would allow me to pursue other passions, that it was a safety net. College may help him focus because he will be around others his age who have chosen to pursue careers and are working towards those goals.

Just spitballing some thoughts. I'm no expert, just an anon with some ideas on the topic who has seen this in many youth over the years. Sorry for this being so long-winded. Good luck.

What to do with kids? Unfortunately life in itself will teach all of us very valuable lessons and responsibilities. He is at the know it all age, as my sweet daddy always said to my brothers(I was the compliant on) “go ahead bullhead you will learn that bull horns will hook”, and they did learn eventually. But as parents, or at least as good parents we want to protect them. The only advice I can offer is prayer. I prayed for my daughter to be protected as she had to learn life . She was always smart and gave me no problems, but this is the same daughter that took the jab just so she could keep her job as a teacher. Now she is pregnant with my grand baby and I have to just daily give it to God. Cho ices have consequences.