What is this thread all about?
Just a place for general discussion. A place to unload whats on your mind and talk about anything - personal, health, help needed, achievements, daily highs and daily lows, theories, predictions and what have you.
Does not need to be Q related.
Too many people just randomly having children with no means to support them, is the drain. Even before birth control was available, somehow many families were not started until there was some form of security start a family. People laughed at the Catholics because of lack of family planning in one way or another, and yes, my best friend in elementary school had an enormous family, the father worked as a laborer, and they were "poor" by neighborhood standards, and the size of the family was unusual to me. Obviously other adults who were married , and those who were not, figured out how to not get pregnant. Pregnancy became a way to assure government subsidies in the 70', if I recall, and, with the moral decline and the "free love" trend, there was no more stigma to out of wed lock pregnancies. Right now, you have homeless people getting knocked up. I think social security is a good thing, I paid into it, however, right now, if my son was not here to help, I would probably avail myself to such things as meals on wheels, stopping all my streaming services, which are a luxury, and some of the help they give seniors for fuel bills, etc. I could also rent out rooms. From young adulthood, I always had a detailed plan for survival, non of which included "going on welfare." I chose to have a child with my husband at the time, after both of us had an income and we had a small homestead. He left when I was 6 months pregnant, (I had a bad habit of finding men with potential, I was attracted to potential). I was working up until the last month, and my job had insurance, so I was able to have my baby, and had accrued enough sick and vacation time to stay home with him for almost a full year. There was no child support, his father flew the coop and left little hints as to where he went, I still do not know, my guess is that he is in Canada somewhere, he had dual citizenship, probably dead from alcohol and drugs at this point. But my point is, even with doing everything right, there I was, pregnant and alone. But, I never got pregnant again, I did not use my body as a welfare check.
“I had a bad habit” …
“doing everything right, there I was”
Incongruent
I realized , with maturity, my errors in my choice of men, I was doing everything right morally speaking, in comparison to what the social norms would have allowed at that time. I waited for marriage, I was married when I became pregnant, I was settled, sober, and believed in my husband. It was later, after blaming myself and seeking council , both through AA and my Pastor, I came to the realization I had a tendency to be attracted to people's potential, instead of what they actually did do.
I hear you honey, been there, done that and got the T shirt. I placed too much confidence in the men in my life, and when I was let down it actually made me a better person.
It wasn't easy, I was devastated, but I put all of my commitment to my son, and just am very glad he did not have to know that guy and be betrayed by him . It was his loss in the end, my son is a good man, strong, kind, protective, funny as all get out, handsome, wise beyond his years. and, unlike his Momma at this age, very choosy about women, not so much in the looks department, but he wants someone sweet and shy , and the girls today think that is too old fashioned. He had a crush on this sweet Mennonite girl, and I would see her giving him a look too, I told him he would have to give up gaming and all that though, so, he is not ready, lol.