CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT

TOP SECRET Access Restricted to: Secret Service Personnel, White House Staff

Subject: Operation Child Safeguard - Codename: Celtic

Distribution: Director of Secret Service, Chief of Staff, National Security Advisor, White House Counsel

Objective: The objective of Operation Child Safeguard is to prevent the inappropriate behavior of Codename: Celtic, the 80-year-old President, towards young children during public interactions. This operation aims to avoid potential embarrassment, public scrutiny, and political fallout. This classified document outlines the details of the operation and provides guidelines for the involved personnel.

Overview: Codename: Celtic, the 80-year-old President, has been displaying signs of senility, leading to recurring incidents of inappropriate behavior, specifically an unwarranted obsession with sniffing young children during public greetings. To mitigate the potential negative consequences of such incidents, the Secret Service has devised a plan to minimize Codename: Celtic's contact with children, particularly during public events. Operation Child Safeguard aims to discreetly redirect the President's attention away from children to prevent any further incidents.

Incident Logs:

• Easter Bunny Event (April 18, 2022): During an Easter event held at the White House, Codename: Celtic's inappropriate behavior became evident as he attempted to greet children in an overly familiar manner. To address the situation discreetly, a handler, disguised as the Easter bunny, was assigned to lead Codename: Celtic away from the children's area, diverting his attention to other aspects of the event.

• Bike Ride Incident (June 18, 2022): While on a bike ride, Codename: Celtic encountered a young girl wearing a swimsuit. Due to his inappropriate obsession, he quickly tried to navigate his bike towards her, resulting in him losing control and falling off his bike. Immediate intervention by Secret Service personnel prevented any harm to the young girl and allowed for a discreet extraction of Codename: Celtic from the scene.

Operation Guidelines:

• Pre-Event Assessment: a. Identify events involving public interaction, especially with young children. b. Evaluate potential risks and vulnerabilities. c. Conduct a threat assessment and implement appropriate security measures.

• Discreet Diversion: a. Designate a trained handler for each event to monitor and manage Codename: Celtic's movements. b. Instruct handlers to intervene promptly when Codename: Celtic shows signs of inappropriate behavior towards children. c. Utilize diversionary tactics such as urgent briefings or unexpected scheduling changes to redirect Codename: Celtic's attention away from children.

• Event Coordination: a. Coordinate with event organizers to create physical barriers or buffer zones between Codename: Celtic and children. b. Arrange for strategic placement of staff, security personnel, and volunteers to discreetly discourage close interactions with children.

• Sensitivity Training: a. Conduct ongoing training sessions for Secret Service personnel involved in the operation to sensitize them to Codename: Celtic's condition and ensure a discreet and effective response. b. Emphasize the importance of maintaining professionalism and confidentiality while executing Operation Child Safeguard.

• Incident Documentation: a. Maintain detailed incident logs, recording the date, location, and description of any incidents involving Codename: Celtic's inappropriate behavior towards children. b. Document the measures taken to manage each incident and their effectiveness.

Note: This document is classified TOP SECRET and should be handled with utmost confidentiality. Unauthorized disclosure or dissemination of any information contained herein is strictly prohibited and may result in severe consequences, including legal action.

Approved By: [Redacted]

Date: [Redacted]