What I need is a speaker holder. About once a month or so I end up knocking one of my speakers off my desk. Sometimes it falls on something important, doing a little damage to what it falls on. Speaker holders are really useful.

I think all the United States needs is a Speaker holder, keep those Speakers from doing any harm. Let's put all of the people who want to be Speakers into holders. Actually no, let's put all of the people who can be Speakers in holders. I think Cuba has a sale on Speaker holders. Maybe we should send all of those would be Speakers there, and get them in some proper holders!

I think I just solved the world's problems.