Sounds like a fruitful psychotic episode. Mine concur; the material world is one of quantity, while the higher worlds are qualitative.

When we're high it's easy to just slip into these sorts of thoughts. If we don't have to expend much of our own energy in order to bring ourselves to these thoughts, then who drove us to them? When we're sober, it's fully our choice. We're consciously driving, not slipping away.

Heaven is the spiritual and earth is the physical. The earth is the universe, not just our planet. Heaven gives life to the physical.

I believe that we are co-creators with God. Get your head around that and then choose how things are to be. Talk to God about it and He'll show you.
Remember that fear is from the evil one and it can only control you if you let it. Don't get hung-up on feeling unworthy. None of us are worthy of what God wants for us. He's the good father and He knew everything about you before you did and He loves you more than you can understand. He also made everything in the universe so your issues are incredibly easy for Him to help you with.