Welcome to General Chat - GAW Community Area
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If you are a believer in Jesus, I suggest this. THANK HIM. I know that might sound radical and counterintuitive, but letting go, humbling yourself and thanking God for ALL circumstances works wonders. I know you are hurting badly right now, and I am praying for relief for you and your dad and family. In the meantime, pray, pray, call out to God and thank Him because HE knows what is happening and why and His will is best. He has a plan for you, be sure of that.
Also, social security changed the age requirements. It's possible that your dad is not eligible for "full" benefits until he's 66 1/2 or even older, so please make sure he is aware of what he is doing in case he wants to retract that application. It would be a shame if he didn't get his full benefits. And also, employers need good employees. It shouldn't be that hard for him to get a job, even if it's not a perfect job or in his field. He could get something to tide you over for another year or two until he is eligible for his full SS benefits. Companies are paying decent wages these days because they are desperate for good employees and many like seniors because they are usually dependable and good workers. All the best, fren. Things will improve. God bless.
Thank you for your response and kind words.
I’m trying, but I’m struggling. Being autistic and having anxiety and OCD, this is a nightmare. We were already homeless just in 2018 before he got this job. I’ve worked so hard to ensure that that never happens again. Getting this house was nothing short of a miracle from God, and it was very obvious that it was his efforts that got us here. So it’s extremely confusing to now have it so threatened.
Dad struggled very hard to get the job he just lost. A big part was because we didn’t have a car, but we have one now so that will help. But the kinds of jobs that he’ll get will not pay enough for us to maintain the struggle-level income he just lost. He could get a job outside of his field but those pay worse too.
We know he’ll be punished. He’s been in a lot of pain from a failing hip doing a manual labor job, but he was trying to hold out until he turned 66 1/2 for those full benefits anyways. To lose that so close to the finish line and have no choice but to take the hit absolutely sucks.
You say you are disabled. Are you eligible for social security disability insurance? Regardless, is there anything you can do? Can you perhaps do a work from home type job where you answer calls for a business? You need a computer to do that, but you're posting here, so either you're on your phone or you do have a computer. Anything you can do could help a lot. Do you have skills at math or other subjects? Perhaps you could tutor students? That could provide a nice hourly income. You might even be able to teach English to foreigners via the computer. That would help your dad out a lot.
You haven't mentioned if there are other people in your family. Is your mom present? What about siblings, or grandparents? If there are more than two of you and everybody can pitch in and do what they can, it might just be enough to get you by until Trump turns things around. If you've got siblings who are legally old enough to work - not sure what age that is, maybe 15 or 16, maybe they could take on part time jobs. It could be fun for them and any income they can produce alleviates some of the hardship on your dad. They can buy their own clothes, even pitch in with food, utilities, etc.
Are you guys good at managing what money you have? Do you eat out much? If so, stop that because it's expensive. Is there anything you can temporarily do without? Cable tv, etc. If it's just you and your dad living together, is there any chance you could take in a room-mate? Again, it doesn't have to be forever. But if you could have some income from a room-mate for 6 months or a year, that could help you out a lot. Just make sure it's someone sane and responsible. Even one bedroom apartments rent for a very high price these days, so you might be able to get a good chunk of money from a room mate. Do a search for your area to see what one bedroom apartments go for and also, for house sharing opportunities to see what other people are asking / charging for rent.
Do you know who Dave Ramsey is? If not, look him up and give him a call. He has a radio show helping people get out of debt and build wealth. He might have some ideas / suggestions that would help you.
I know what it is to be poor. Like, I can't afford to eat today or tomorrow, poor. It sucks. So I empathize with you and if you lived near me, I would gladly do what I could to help you. Right now, the best way I can help you is to pray. God will see you through, one way or another. Whatever you do, if the house is the most important thing to you, make sure you pay that mortgage even if you're eating macaroni with tomato sauce (been there.) Btw, that's cheap and tasty. And if the interest rate on your house is high (bought during the Biden admin) you might be able to refinance it if your dad gets another job quickly enough. That could help lower the payment, but beware that lenders will typically suggest you 'roll in' the cost of the refinance, so that means you'll owe more on the house. That's not something I would usually advise, but in your case, it might work for you. Just be very careful not to be taken by an unscrupulous lender. Shop around! And if you're living in an area where home values are going up, a refi, even if you do owe more on the mortgage, might work out. Just please be careful! If I think of any other suggestions, I will come back and add them. All the best, fren. God be with you.
Thank you for the incredibly thoughtful reply!
I have never pursued disability because I would be unable to work, and when work is good, it pays more than the disability would. It would also mean a very long stint of not working and no income while waiting for approval.
I have extreme anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. I can look into a job like that but I worry I wouldn’t be able to handle it given the anxiety. Chatting online would be much easier on me but I’m not sure if something like that exists.
Did not graduate high school or get my GED so that will make it hard to get any job along those lines even though I educated myself outside of the system.
I do have a computer but not a phone with service. I do commission-based art and writing for an income (adult themed, unfortunately, but it’s what people are willing to buy, and I know God understands that I’m doing it for my family) and it pays okay, but I only have a few clients and have always struggled to get more despite trying to play the exhausting social media game for self promotion. I have been teaching myself game development and am making a game I intend to release on Steam sometime next year. It’s about halfway done right now.
It’s just me and my parents. Mom also has health issues and we don’t want her working as a result of that. Once we have more of an idea about if he’ll be granted unemployment or not, we’ll know how much difference needs to be made up, and Dad may end up getting a part time job and I may end up selling whatever of my things I can to get us by. I don’t have a lot but it’ll be something.
We do not eat out except very special occasions (very rare) and we do not have cable. We already cut anything unnecessary long ago except for one $10 streaming service I’ll be cutting soon. We are discussing a family member moving in with us if things get very dire but it’s up in the air right now and will require a large upfront cost to upgrade our electrical panel we’d have to figure out and I would lose my bedroom. So that sucks but I’ll do it.
Above all else we’ll be prioritizing keeping the house, even if we have to cut the internet or electric for a while. It still has $102,000 to be paid on it.
Thank you so much for your kindness and advice. We got our house in 2019 and compared to houses renting and selling around us, we’re extremely fortunate, and our mortgage is only about $850/month. The house next door to us was renting for $2,200/month before the owner kicked the people out and made it an Air Bnb.
Alright, let me go a little further. Please keep in mind, it is very difficult to have a conversation like this with someone that is a stranger. I don't know anything about you except for what you have typed on this page. I don't know your age, sex, level of disability, your mom's situation, or even your dad's. So keep that in mind as I make more comments.
First, you can get your GED. You can do that online, and probably at your own pace. I understand that you educated yourself outside of the system and your ability to form coherent paragraphs testifies to that, lol. But we do still live in a somewhat unfair system where things like that are important to some people - people who are making decisions that affect your life. So please do a search on how to get your GED. If you go forward with that, I bet you $100 you'll feel better about yourself - just accomplishing that. And it could help you with other things too.
Next, something had to cause you to have all this anxiety, PTSD, OCD stuff. Maybe you know exactly what it was, maybe you don't, but you should be able to get help with that. There are people right here on this board who know A LOT about health and how to restore and maintain it. Post here asking for help. And KEEP posting until you get the answers. Be as specific about your conditions as you can, it might help trigger a thought in one of these helpful people's minds. Also, I don't really know anything about it, but I've seen several people here talk about vibrational frequencies and how they can heal. I have recently heard about a music program that helps restore the balance to the vagas nerve and how that helps people a lot. So maybe look into that, too.
Next, stop with the porn stuff. I don't like to speak for God, but I feel it is safe to say that no, God is not okay with you sinning to 'help your family.' I don't know if you are a believing Christian or just have a vague belief that some type of God exists, or perhaps you have no belief in God at all. God has no obligation to you if you are not a believer. For me, as a believer, He does watch out for me because I belong to Him. If a person does not belong to Him, he wants them to turn to Him, but if they choose not to, He accepts that and He has no obligation to help them. So I would strongly suggest you get to know Jesus now. Because tomorrow is not promised. Make that decision, today. If you don't know what to do, just start talking to Him like you would any person and ask Him to help you believe.
You said your mom is sick. And you have disabilities, and now even your dad has a hip issue. So you ALL have issues and again, without knowing the severity of your or your mother's issues, it's hard for me to say. But it sure seems to me that if three people want to be able to pay a relatively small mortgage payment, eat and pay their necessary expenses, they could do it. And it seems unfair to put 90% on him alone. Perhaps your mom could do one of the online jobs I mentioned in my previous post? Even working part time, like 2-4 hours a day 3-5 days a week could help a lot. Your expenses oughtn't be that big the way your described them. Unless you guys have a lot of debt? If that's the case, all the more reason to call or look into Dave Ramsey. He teaches people how to use baby steps to get out of debt and start building up money. Please look into that.
If you live in a neighborhood and your next door neighbor was paying over $2,000 a month for rent while your mortgage is well under $1000, that suggests your house is now worth more than you paid for it a few years back. Worst case scenario, you might be able to sell the house for a tidy profit - and having lived in it as your primary home for over 2 years, you wouldn't have to pay capital gains taxes on it when it was sold. Perhaps you could take the money and move to a cheaper town / location and start fresh. I'm only suggesting this as an absolute last resort. I know you want to keep the house and you probably even have a decent interest rate on the loan. So I hope you can keep it. But check out what it might be worth now as compared to what you paid in 2019 and also, what you currently owe on the loan. It could give you a bigger picture and let you know about other options.