I disagree with your comment about being a year away from divorce. My husband did not react well when I first went down the rabbit hole back in 2016. He was very concerned about my sanity. But he was committed to making our marriage work, and in doing so, he agreed to be more open minded. We had a lot of conflict back then over my view of reality changing, but today we are very happy. :)
My 2c for people waking up before their partner does:
Just remember the little things (the 4 f's) - friendlies, fondles, food and a happy face.
'friendlies = always text or phone when away; remember little prezzies on the way home
Fondles = OBVIO sex, but also some hints at it, during the day
Food = real food. Make him (or her) a sandwich already. Salami is good too. or a good steak. (my son now uses it as a date-impresser - cooks her a steak - and she works in a cafe, so actually appreciates it).
I think it's different for women. If a man thinks his wife is crazy but he still loves her and is committed, he will stick with it and try to help her and understand her viewpoint. He is not threatened by his wife being a little crazy, and if you show evidence he may eventually look at it, and may even change his mind.
In my experience the other direction is more dangerous. My wife "lost confidence" in my judgement after I refused to toe the line in the COVID psyop and she became concerned that she couldn't rely on my judgement for safety, and that we risked social ostracism. The fact that my viewpoint later turned out to be correct then threatened to wound her pride by proving her wrong. These things cannot be discussed which creates distance.
We are now getting divorced.
Ultimately the distance killed things, but she just couldn't tolerate a different viewpoint from her insane obedience and I couldn't honestly have a viewpoint that ignored rather than sought out truth.
I am so sorry to hear that you guys couldn't work it out. FYI, my hubby and I are still nowhere close to being on the "same page." Back in 2016 - 2018, he was ANGRY that I had taken the blinders on and was adamant that I needed to put them back on. It sounds like that is where your wife is at now.
What we focused on was the concept that we are each sovereign beings allowed to have our own views separate from the other. That was tough to digest. I am not going to lie, it was tough for us both to learn to accept that the other wasn't going to change views and to side step the issues we disagreed on and focus on what we did agree on - all that took several years. But we were both committed to making our marriage work, and it sounds like your wife wasn't. It sounds like she just wanted you to put the blinders back on so that she didn't have to worry about how secure her blinders were. :(
Thanks, and believe me, I did everything I could. But in the final analysis, it will never work if I have to keep my interests and opinions private from her lest they upset her. I am happy to accept her beliefs, misguided as I might think some of them are, and happy to discuss them, but these discussions did not always go well. Sometimes, I felt like we had a lot of values in common, but she could not look past the details.
The "loss of confidence" ultimately was the problem that could not be solved. I think this is somewhat unique to the feminine psychology which requires the male to be a protector, and that requires good judgement. She saw my response to COVID (1. it's massively overblown and 2. the shots are not worth the risk) as being poor judgement, trusting my own analysis of internet sources over establishment doctrine. She did not appreciate me bringing a stack of research papers to the pediatrician appointment.
In the end, I asked what can I do to improve this relationship, and she said she didn't want to. So that was that.
I think she would have been OK with me putting the blinders on, but I was never going to do that and I made that clear.
I am glad to hear you are making progress toward a resolution. I agree 100% on sovereign beings. We have to accept the viewpoints of others, even if we don't agree. When a disagreement points to different actions, something must be done, but we can't police others thoughts. And in a marriage, to the extent we must keep our thoughts hidden from policing, that is an untenable situation.
"it will never work if I have to keep my interests and opinions private from her lest they upset her." This is a true statement. Hubby and I not talking about issues where we disagree is not the same as having to "keep them hidden from policing." And as I said, we both had to come to terms with the fact that we had no right to be upset that a sovereign person thinks differently than I do.
I also agree on your point about "loss of confidence" point. It took very little effort to talk my hubby out of getting a covid injection and I do trust his judgment to make good choices for our family. Our disagreements were more superficial in nature than yours.
But the real difference between your situation and mine is "and she said she didn't want to." My hubby and both wanted to make our marriage work and we were willing to learn to interact with each other better in order to get there.
I'll pray for you that huge silver linings come out of this sad situation.
We do not talk about the areas where we have different viewpoints. I have a network of friends to fill that need. And GAW. I really do really on the GAW family a lot.
If hubby and I had different morals or values or priorities, we probably wouldn't have been able to work through our issues. But we're on the same page in the fundamental areas. I think it's simply a matter of him not being ready to take the blinders off and wishing that I hadn't taken mine off.
My situation exactly. My ex went ALL IN on Covid, so much so that even though she had taken a week off work and was going to visit her parents in the next province over, she delayed her trip by a few days so she could get her booster on the DAY IT CAME OUT. She went so Covid crazy that you'd have thought following the "daily case numbers" as they came out was like a sports obsessive reading the sports pages like it was her fucking fantasy football team.
The last message I sent her was, "When I am done, not a shred of the world you think you live in will exist."
In my case it was a little less extreme. She did the masking stuff, and all the other distancing nonsense, and really got into the community pulling together aspects - like making hand-made cloth mask / talismans. Around this time she also really got into the online mothers facebook groups and email lists, which BTW are toxic as hell. And she gravitated to all the identity politics and summer of love stuff.
Ages ago we were sort of on the same page - I was probably more pragmatic but we both were attracted to the hippie / luddite counterculture, even though I work in tech, but I had grown to have my doubts. But in COVID both of these cultures fully bought into the nonsense, which I found deeply disappointing: the hippies became experimental pharma salesmen and the scientists completely abandoned science.
Anyway, I tried to talk her out of the shots but of course she got a lot of them. I don't know if she still does. Pretty much all my tech colleagues do.
I guess I came to realize that she doesn't think for herself, and her appreciation for counterculture was more of an affectation or fashion statement than actually questioning anything for real. It's like "woke".. it's the affectation of counter-cultural beliefs and histories, yet fully supported by the establishment.
I agree with you that the couple will get through this. This is just the start of his wife’s awakening. The speed of disclosure has accelerated greatly and nowadays we’re getting paradigm-shifting information dumps routinely. Like many other late bloomers, she will start waking up faster than many of the early adopters did, just because of the current pace of red pills.
There was a popular commenter here from California who was a lifelong Democrat before figuring things out. She said that at some point in the awakening, the Democrat brand will be toxic and unfashionable, and people will head for the exits because they were only invested in the party for superficial reasons in the first place. I think it’s coming in 2026, well before November. It might be in the next few weeks. At a time when the world is disillusioned with Israel over the Gaza genocide, normies are angry at Democrats and jews for the Epstein files, and the supermajority of American citizens, white, black, and hispanic, are in favor of voter ID, jewish Democrat politicians Schumer, Rankin, and Ossoff are heaving up the lamest, most desperate excuses to oppose voter ID. It’s beyond obvious who has been betraying America, and regular people won’t want to be associated with that treachery.
I disagree with your comment about being a year away from divorce. My husband did not react well when I first went down the rabbit hole back in 2016. He was very concerned about my sanity. But he was committed to making our marriage work, and in doing so, he agreed to be more open minded. We had a lot of conflict back then over my view of reality changing, but today we are very happy. :)
My 2c for people waking up before their partner does:
Just remember the little things (the 4 f's) - friendlies, fondles, food and a happy face.
'friendlies = always text or phone when away; remember little prezzies on the way home
Fondles = OBVIO sex, but also some hints at it, during the day
Food = real food. Make him (or her) a sandwich already. Salami is good too. or a good steak. (my son now uses it as a date-impresser - cooks her a steak - and she works in a cafe, so actually appreciates it).
And keep smiling obviously.
The first two also means: don't cheat.
^very good advice^
Amen to this.
I think it's different for women. If a man thinks his wife is crazy but he still loves her and is committed, he will stick with it and try to help her and understand her viewpoint. He is not threatened by his wife being a little crazy, and if you show evidence he may eventually look at it, and may even change his mind.
In my experience the other direction is more dangerous. My wife "lost confidence" in my judgement after I refused to toe the line in the COVID psyop and she became concerned that she couldn't rely on my judgement for safety, and that we risked social ostracism. The fact that my viewpoint later turned out to be correct then threatened to wound her pride by proving her wrong. These things cannot be discussed which creates distance.
We are now getting divorced.
Ultimately the distance killed things, but she just couldn't tolerate a different viewpoint from her insane obedience and I couldn't honestly have a viewpoint that ignored rather than sought out truth.
I think you're spot on and your statement resonates with me deeply.
Heaven forbid you should threaten a woman's pride with the truth.
I am so sorry to hear that you guys couldn't work it out. FYI, my hubby and I are still nowhere close to being on the "same page." Back in 2016 - 2018, he was ANGRY that I had taken the blinders on and was adamant that I needed to put them back on. It sounds like that is where your wife is at now.
What we focused on was the concept that we are each sovereign beings allowed to have our own views separate from the other. That was tough to digest. I am not going to lie, it was tough for us both to learn to accept that the other wasn't going to change views and to side step the issues we disagreed on and focus on what we did agree on - all that took several years. But we were both committed to making our marriage work, and it sounds like your wife wasn't. It sounds like she just wanted you to put the blinders back on so that she didn't have to worry about how secure her blinders were. :(
Thanks, and believe me, I did everything I could. But in the final analysis, it will never work if I have to keep my interests and opinions private from her lest they upset her. I am happy to accept her beliefs, misguided as I might think some of them are, and happy to discuss them, but these discussions did not always go well. Sometimes, I felt like we had a lot of values in common, but she could not look past the details.
The "loss of confidence" ultimately was the problem that could not be solved. I think this is somewhat unique to the feminine psychology which requires the male to be a protector, and that requires good judgement. She saw my response to COVID (1. it's massively overblown and 2. the shots are not worth the risk) as being poor judgement, trusting my own analysis of internet sources over establishment doctrine. She did not appreciate me bringing a stack of research papers to the pediatrician appointment.
In the end, I asked what can I do to improve this relationship, and she said she didn't want to. So that was that.
I think she would have been OK with me putting the blinders on, but I was never going to do that and I made that clear.
I am glad to hear you are making progress toward a resolution. I agree 100% on sovereign beings. We have to accept the viewpoints of others, even if we don't agree. When a disagreement points to different actions, something must be done, but we can't police others thoughts. And in a marriage, to the extent we must keep our thoughts hidden from policing, that is an untenable situation.
"it will never work if I have to keep my interests and opinions private from her lest they upset her." This is a true statement. Hubby and I not talking about issues where we disagree is not the same as having to "keep them hidden from policing." And as I said, we both had to come to terms with the fact that we had no right to be upset that a sovereign person thinks differently than I do.
I also agree on your point about "loss of confidence" point. It took very little effort to talk my hubby out of getting a covid injection and I do trust his judgment to make good choices for our family. Our disagreements were more superficial in nature than yours.
But the real difference between your situation and mine is "and she said she didn't want to." My hubby and both wanted to make our marriage work and we were willing to learn to interact with each other better in order to get there.
I'll pray for you that huge silver linings come out of this sad situation.
Good perspective. Where are you now with that? Or is it just an "area" you don't talk about?
I couldn't exist if I couldn't talk about some serious things with my partner.
We do not talk about the areas where we have different viewpoints. I have a network of friends to fill that need. And GAW. I really do really on the GAW family a lot.
If hubby and I had different morals or values or priorities, we probably wouldn't have been able to work through our issues. But we're on the same page in the fundamental areas. I think it's simply a matter of him not being ready to take the blinders off and wishing that I hadn't taken mine off.
My situation exactly. My ex went ALL IN on Covid, so much so that even though she had taken a week off work and was going to visit her parents in the next province over, she delayed her trip by a few days so she could get her booster on the DAY IT CAME OUT. She went so Covid crazy that you'd have thought following the "daily case numbers" as they came out was like a sports obsessive reading the sports pages like it was her fucking fantasy football team.
The last message I sent her was, "When I am done, not a shred of the world you think you live in will exist."
In my case it was a little less extreme. She did the masking stuff, and all the other distancing nonsense, and really got into the community pulling together aspects - like making hand-made cloth mask / talismans. Around this time she also really got into the online mothers facebook groups and email lists, which BTW are toxic as hell. And she gravitated to all the identity politics and summer of love stuff.
Ages ago we were sort of on the same page - I was probably more pragmatic but we both were attracted to the hippie / luddite counterculture, even though I work in tech, but I had grown to have my doubts. But in COVID both of these cultures fully bought into the nonsense, which I found deeply disappointing: the hippies became experimental pharma salesmen and the scientists completely abandoned science.
Anyway, I tried to talk her out of the shots but of course she got a lot of them. I don't know if she still does. Pretty much all my tech colleagues do.
I guess I came to realize that she doesn't think for herself, and her appreciation for counterculture was more of an affectation or fashion statement than actually questioning anything for real. It's like "woke".. it's the affectation of counter-cultural beliefs and histories, yet fully supported by the establishment.
I agree with you that the couple will get through this. This is just the start of his wife’s awakening. The speed of disclosure has accelerated greatly and nowadays we’re getting paradigm-shifting information dumps routinely. Like many other late bloomers, she will start waking up faster than many of the early adopters did, just because of the current pace of red pills.
There was a popular commenter here from California who was a lifelong Democrat before figuring things out. She said that at some point in the awakening, the Democrat brand will be toxic and unfashionable, and people will head for the exits because they were only invested in the party for superficial reasons in the first place. I think it’s coming in 2026, well before November. It might be in the next few weeks. At a time when the world is disillusioned with Israel over the Gaza genocide, normies are angry at Democrats and jews for the Epstein files, and the supermajority of American citizens, white, black, and hispanic, are in favor of voter ID, jewish Democrat politicians Schumer, Rankin, and Ossoff are heaving up the lamest, most desperate excuses to oppose voter ID. It’s beyond obvious who has been betraying America, and regular people won’t want to be associated with that treachery.