Whether or not Q is real, whether or not the military will save us, it cannot change your actions today. You have control over what you control, and no control over what you cannot control. You will be held to account to God for how you decide to act within the realms where you have power to act. Thus, you must focus exclusively on what you can do and should do, and how best to execute on it.
At the top of the priority list should always be your devotion to God. God demands we worship him and him alone. This means you must study out who God is and how to properly worship him. This is not for the faint of heart -- even studying and practicing for a lifetime is not enough to understand what this means. Every thought must be directed to him. Every prayer to him. Every action to him. Every offering to him.
From here, all things branch out. The Two Great Commandments, available both in the Old and New Testaments, is to "Love God" and "Love your neighbor". How to love God? With all your heart, might, mind and strength. How to love your neighbor? As yourself. What does love mean? We in modern society think of love as a feeling, but it is an action, and act, something you do and not feel.
The Ten Commandments branch from these, and cover the most basic elements of proper actions. It is clear from these commandments that God values honesty, fidelity in marriage, family life, and property ownership. Of course, we can go through the Old and New Testaments and find multiple explicit commandments or punishments for disobedience. Again, a lifetime of study is not enough time to learn how to act rightly before God.
Let's bring this home to our modern times and our modern understanding.
- Get married, stay married, and practice sexual activity only in marriage. Any extra-marital sexual act is forbidden. That means no porn, no adultery, no pre-marital sex. No divorce! But on a higher level, this is a devotion to family life. No greater happiness exists than fulfilling your duty in your family. And the reverse, No greater sadness exists than failing your duty in your family. Bear lots of children, more than you can handle. No one ever said, "I wish I didn't have so many kids!" Spend all of your efforts teaching and raising your kids. No physical treasure compares to well-raised kids.
- Get rich. This isn't optional. How do you get rich? Write a budget. Spend less than you earn. Earn more. Build an emergency fund. Get out of debt. Acquire investments assets -- real estate being a major one. Become truly self-sufficient with a garden and animals you raise and eat. Dave Ramsay has a lot of advice on how to get rich and how to behave as a rich person.
- Get educated. The idea that the purpose of education is to learn "practical skills" is absurd. Real education is about developing the proper and right character and attributes. Real education starts with the Bible and a whole lot of time praying and seeking truth. Of course you are going to incorporate other methods and materials.
- Get strong. "Physical strength is the most important thing in life" as Rippetoe says. It doesn't matter what you have if you are physically incompetent and require a wheelchair or medicine just to cope with life. People bound to wheelchairs and who require medicine just to live know what a great gift it is to have a body that works -- so keep your body in the best physical condition you can get it!
When we have enough people living rightly, with strong families, personal and familial real wealth, and a true and real education, physically fit, then we can talk about become self-governing. Until that point, however, we are far to weak in one way or the other to matter, and easily manipulated or controlled.
The first goal is to learn to govern yourself, then to govern your family, then to govern your community and finally your nation. If you cannot govern yourself, you cannot govern your family. And so on.
Jesus gave adultery as permissible exception for divorce. And my husband and I were talking about this, recently, and he thinks that can easily be extended to include physical abuse. Because in both instances, your spouse broke their vow.
The problem is, people nowadays treat marriage as if it's any kind of dating relationship and not a vow you take before God to be with your husband/wife and be faithful until death. I am married, and I take my vows VERY seriously. My husband and I went into marriage saying that divorce was NOT an option. And we fight sometimes and get frustrated with one another, but our commitment to each other is so high that we both try and work things out. For better or for worse.
We have been married for 10 years and we have an incredible relationship and are more in love and devoted to each other than ever. It just takes some work. Learn each other's love languages, spend time together, forgive each other when you mess up because we are all sinful humans. Communication is HUGE. 99% of all relationship problems can be solved with good honest communication.
At the end of the day, it is God's wish for marriages to remain intact as much as possible. That is a fact. You become one with your spouse when you get married, but this is why he tells people not to be unequally yoked and gives tons of marriage advice in the Bible. It isn't always easy, and marriage should be treated very seriously.
If there was a reason to get married in the first place, then there's a reason to stay together. Marriages don't deteriorate because some magical force has left the household, it's because one or both of the members have given up on the core tenants of marriage.
Love is a decision, not a feeling.
There might have been a reason to get married in the first place, but it doesn't always follow that there's a reason to stay together. You might have married someone who seemed lovely at the outset, but who has become abusive, unfaithful, addicted to a dangerous substance or habit and refuses to get help, has an anti-social personality disorder they were able to hide with a charming social mask, or engages in serious criminal activity.
Love is an action and a decision you make, not a feeling. Here is God's definition of love:
Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If you read that, you can clearly see that these things are all actions. This is the biggest lie that has been perpetuated in our culture. Loving feelings an ebb and flow depending on life circumstances, but those feelings are temporary. My love for my husband is permanent because I try my hardest to be patient and kind with him. I put his needs above my own. I don't provoke him to anger. I try really hard not to keep accounts of wrongs suffered (this one is hard lol), etc.
This is why it's so important to choose the right partner BEFORE you get married. Choose someone with the same values and beliefs on marriage, love, and commitment. My husband views love in the exact same way that I do, so even during the hard times, we still try our hardest to love one another (through actions). And the beautiful thing is that the loving feelings ALWAYS come back. We work things through, communicate, and come up with solutions and compromises to our problems and things come back around. And when one of us screws up, we apologize and forgive each other instead of holding things over each other.
So I guess to summarize, I don't believe there are only 2 courses of actions as you stated in your comment:
Stay together and be miserable or Leave and be happy apart
And what do you do when there are problems in your new relationship? All relationships face hard times. Every single one. If you don't stay and fight in the first one, why would you stay and fight in the next one???
Again, this is not for extreme cases like domestic violence or adultery.
Actually, that's Paul's definition, and while it's important to grasp how God speaks to us through his word, through his instruments, like Paul, it's still Paul, and Paul isn't God. IMO.
Just saying.
My marriage was full of difficult, painful challenges for both my wife and myself. We stuck together because of our dedication to God, and his Blessing on our marriage. At least, I did, and I think my wife too.
It was only after 20 years of lots of hard work, trial, tribulation, and perseverance, that we came upon what could only be described as the Oasis in the desert. And the reward of our marriage is greater than anything I really imagined. I'm so grateful now for my wife, and for our marriage. My conclusion: it's ONLY by working on the marriage, and yourself, that true happiness comes. People rarely understand the blessing God has prepared for them because they become overwhelmed with the difficulty, and end up turning away, from God and themselves.
Despite my own theological quibble above (Paul), I really liked your comment.
well stated.
I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, so while Paul physically wrote those words, I truly believe they came directly from God. I do understand what you mean and of course you're welcome to your own theological interpretation.
I am so happy for you and your wife! It is so beautiful to hear stories of hard work and perseverance leading to beautiful blessings. And you are completely correct, most people don't want to put the work in. It makes me really sad. I am so thankful for the beautiful marriage I have with my husband, but we have built it through being intentional with each other and really working on our communication and compromising. I feel like things are soooo much easier now because we took the time and put in so much effort in our first few years. We don't have to work nearly as much, now, because we have settled so many issues and come up with solutions to them. And while we still get into a funk now and then or have an argument, we resolve it so much quicker just because we know each other so much better.
I just think it's so sad that people are constantly looking for something better instead of working on improving what they already have. And you're so right that people run from God. God has helped us in our relationship so much. I can see such a difference when we are both praying and seeking God and asking Him to help us in our marriage. May God continue to bless you and your wife. Thank you so much for sharing <3
What I'm saying is that love is a choice and an action. It should be unconditional with your spouse. My husband is my family. I could never NOT love him. I don't understand love just disappearing like that. He is part of me. Even when we fight or are going through a hard time, my love for him transcends everything.
I just can't comprehend that ever happening. We have been married for ten years and my love has only grown deeper and my appreciation for him stronger over those years. And it has been work, but that work is so worth it.
I don't think people should stay together in a loveless marriage. I'm saying they should work on their marriage to rekindle the romance and love they had in the beginning of their marriage. You can build that trust and intimacy and those deep loving feelings again. It just takes work, but most people seem to lazy to put the effort in, and they want infatuation instead of deep meaningful love and commitment. It just makes me sad.
The misery can be unbelievably real and never seem to end - for years/decades.
I love my mother but I don’t talk to her or have anything to do with her because she is a toxic narcissist who is looking to find ways to get other people to do things for her. I don’t hate her but I had to remove her from my life because she is so emotionally destructive to me. I went to see her after ten plus years of not talking. The only thing she could talk about is how I should sell my house, but one with her and take care of her and the child she has. He’s twenty years younger than I am and likely was used as a means of manipulating other people. A long string of broken hearts behind her and she is losing the battle to age.
She isn’t aware of herself though so I don’t blame her, I don’t hate her but there are times where a person must look at life objectively and say: “This person cannot be in my life because of the danger they pose to my family.”
100%
You are right. I see people dating or living together and mingling finances and I then see people married and acting like they are dating (seperate finances and social lives). Both are getting it equally wrong biblically speaking. More pastors needs to preach on biblical relationships.
Tommy Nelson has an AMAZING study on Song of Solomon that I recommend to everyone. It is incredible and so funny. I watched it before I got married and my husband and I watched it together after we got married. It's phenomenal.
100% agree!