Today in the US, the law mocks responsibility within marriage: it places zero value on love, virtue or devotion, and yet has no trouble measuring money. Every woman is subject to being tempted by feminism's false promise that they can walk away from a marriage and suffer virtually no consequences, keeping the kids, the house, and an income to provide the same quality of life even without the man. Consequently, many women fall into this trap and families are destroyed. A prenup, if it assures that this illusion will fail, may help preserve the marriage by restoring natural economic incentives. It would be nice if this were not needed, and for many people it is not. Bless all those who do not yield to temptation. Men of course have their own set of temptations, but family law doesn't incentivize them in the same way.
Its like that movie "Coming to America" where Eddie Murphy pretended to work at a fast food restaurant, when he was actually a wealthy prince. He wanted love but couldn't be himself or he might be misguided.
Dirt poor bitches like me and my wife have no reason for a prenuptial agreement. No one fights over debt.
I personally see nothing wrong with it. Crap happens. All humans are fallible. One day, one of you could fall into temptation and end up divorced as a result. There's nothing wrong with taking precautions to protect yourself in that case.
I'm probably gonna get crap for this, but all of these people talking about men getting screwed 80%+ of the time don't know what they're talking about. That DOES happen, but more often than not it has little to do with gender bias. Usually it's more to do with the prenup being written in a manner that makes it invalid, or unfair and therefore not enforceable.
The main reason that courts side with women in most cases, is because prenups are usually written up in a manner that would give them literally nothing in the case of a divorce. So in most cases, this would leave the woman, who either has a low paying job or no job at all in the context we're speaking of, homeless, penniless, etc. Basically destitute with no workable skills, assets, etc.
If you want to make sure the prenup holds up in court, you have to give your ex spouse SOME form of "aid" in the prenup. This is usually anything from temporary alimony for a set period of time (long enough for them to support themselves while they go back to college for example), or a set amount of cash/assets that they can then use to sustain themselves.
Since I've seen people use Trump's divorces as an example, I'll use them too. In his cases, he chose the latter. His ex-wives got a cash payment, I believe in the 10s of millions of dollars. This was considered fair, since it was more than enough for them to maintain a comparable lifestyle if used and invested properly. In this case, Trump's responsibility ended at the payment. If they blow all the money, it's on them. He was fair to them, and gave them a method to provide for themselves.
That's the key to everything. You have to be "fair". So when people go to some dollar store lawyer office and have a prenup written up where they try to screw their ex-spouse out of everything, it will never work. Which is what most people do. The other thing you have to do is make sure it's signed at least 6 months in advance of the marriage date and all of your assets and income are known to both parties and their independent lawyers (make sure your spouse has a different lawyer from a different firm of their choosing present during the signing).
The last thing is to make sure your partner can't claim coercion. I already mentioned signing the prenup months in advance, but you have to make sure there isn't anything else they can claim coercion on. For example, if they claim to be pregnant, you need to get the doctor to sign off on it as proof they're pregnant before you go through all of this, otherwise they can claim you took advantage of them during their pregnancy.
If you do all of this, there's very few courts that won't enforce it. I'm not saying your former spouse won't try to screw you out of more, but it'll make it MUCH harder for them to be successful in that regard.
Basically, the key to all of this, is to hire a good lawyer to write everything up and not cheap out, be fair in the divorce terms, and make sure there's no possible way for you spouse to claim they were coerced into it. It's really not that hard, you just have to no be a butthole during the process. Yeah, it'll suck having to make temporary alimony or a big cash payment, but all of your assets will protected and once you're done with them, you're done with them.
Matthew 19:3-6 (ESV) And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
See also Malachi 2:16 and footnotes.
Jesus points to God’s original design for marriage: one man and one woman for life. What kind of marriage do you plan on getting, one defined by the laws of the land, or marriage as defined by God? If you’re getting a marriage as God defines it then you should be entering marriage with the mindset that divorce is not an option. Therefore, a prenup has no place in a Christian marriage.
Matthew 19:7-9 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
The hardness of hard is key here. Jesus taught that as Christians we are to forgive as we have been forgiven. Look at what immediately precedes this passage on divorce. At the end of Matthew 18 is the parable of the unforgiving servant. Ten thousand talents is an unplayable debt which is what we owe God. Jesus paid our debt in full on the cross. Back to marriage now. It is impossible for your spouse to accrue a debt with you that is anywhere near the debt that God forgave us. The plan for Christian marriage is to forgive and to seek reconciliation. 1 Corinthians 7:15 shows what happens when hardness of heart is present: the one unwilling to reconcile leaves.
Agree with what others have said. Prenup introduces and makes more real the possibility of failure. If you believe marriage is a covenant, God doesn’t say it’s over just because one of you throws in the towel. I would get premarital counseling and be honest in reflecting on what you learn about yourselves. If red flags are the reason a prenup is needed, heed the warnings and call it off.
I don’t think it’s wrong per se; I just think that if you genuinely hold to a Christian view of marriage then you are unlikely to want a prenup. Most people with a Christian view of marriage see it as the “two becoming one” and something that man should not separate.
A prenup seems to convey a mutual (albeit seemingly benign) level of distrust in the other—at which point I ask: “Why make the marriage vow in the first place?” If your relationship is such that neither of you can fully trust the other to stay until death do you part, then why vow to do so?
If your mutual view of marriage finds one leaving the other as a possible outcome, then marriage is not what you are looking for; rather, you’re looking for some aspects of marriage (sex, cohabitation, procreation, some level of mutual commitment), but not the full scope. In essence, you’re looking to be long term boyfriend and girlfriend.
back in the days the bible was written divorced women 99% of the time got screwed over. Today in the US it's the other way 80% of men gets screwed over. So account for the times.
Finally, I look at trump as an example, divorced 2x kids still loves/talk to him, ex wives well taken cared off. Probably tried his best in making it work. Don't think he ever cheated despite the smear. Its ok to be smart and safe, imho.
I have put alot of thought into this one...I have alot of assets lol I am constantly warned by those that love me to protect myself....but I do believe love conquers all and when my time comes and I decide to marry again I will be all in. Money means nothing. God provides everything I need and if I need to give half of everything I have to someone else in the future then its because God has something better for me. He may require me to do that without marriage I do not know.
There is no fear in love.
I have faith that God will provide everything I need.
My parents always told me that prenups tell my partner that I don't love them or trust them.
We are not living in your parents time, if she's bringing no assets and doesn't want a pre-nup then she doesn't love you, she loves your assets. Simple.
Today in the US, the law mocks responsibility within marriage: it places zero value on love, virtue or devotion, and yet has no trouble measuring money. Every woman is subject to being tempted by feminism's false promise that they can walk away from a marriage and suffer virtually no consequences, keeping the kids, the house, and an income to provide the same quality of life even without the man. Consequently, many women fall into this trap and families are destroyed. A prenup, if it assures that this illusion will fail, may help preserve the marriage by restoring natural economic incentives. It would be nice if this were not needed, and for many people it is not. Bless all those who do not yield to temptation. Men of course have their own set of temptations, but family law doesn't incentivize them in the same way.
A prenuptial agreement, is just that, an agreement.
If you and your engagement agree to the terms, no one outside of the agreement have a valid opinion.
Except the court to which she will appeal to and often have a contradictory view of it.
Its like that movie "Coming to America" where Eddie Murphy pretended to work at a fast food restaurant, when he was actually a wealthy prince. He wanted love but couldn't be himself or he might be misguided.
Dirt poor bitches like me and my wife have no reason for a prenuptial agreement. No one fights over debt.
I personally see nothing wrong with it. Crap happens. All humans are fallible. One day, one of you could fall into temptation and end up divorced as a result. There's nothing wrong with taking precautions to protect yourself in that case.
I'm probably gonna get crap for this, but all of these people talking about men getting screwed 80%+ of the time don't know what they're talking about. That DOES happen, but more often than not it has little to do with gender bias. Usually it's more to do with the prenup being written in a manner that makes it invalid, or unfair and therefore not enforceable.
The main reason that courts side with women in most cases, is because prenups are usually written up in a manner that would give them literally nothing in the case of a divorce. So in most cases, this would leave the woman, who either has a low paying job or no job at all in the context we're speaking of, homeless, penniless, etc. Basically destitute with no workable skills, assets, etc.
If you want to make sure the prenup holds up in court, you have to give your ex spouse SOME form of "aid" in the prenup. This is usually anything from temporary alimony for a set period of time (long enough for them to support themselves while they go back to college for example), or a set amount of cash/assets that they can then use to sustain themselves.
Since I've seen people use Trump's divorces as an example, I'll use them too. In his cases, he chose the latter. His ex-wives got a cash payment, I believe in the 10s of millions of dollars. This was considered fair, since it was more than enough for them to maintain a comparable lifestyle if used and invested properly. In this case, Trump's responsibility ended at the payment. If they blow all the money, it's on them. He was fair to them, and gave them a method to provide for themselves.
That's the key to everything. You have to be "fair". So when people go to some dollar store lawyer office and have a prenup written up where they try to screw their ex-spouse out of everything, it will never work. Which is what most people do. The other thing you have to do is make sure it's signed at least 6 months in advance of the marriage date and all of your assets and income are known to both parties and their independent lawyers (make sure your spouse has a different lawyer from a different firm of their choosing present during the signing).
The last thing is to make sure your partner can't claim coercion. I already mentioned signing the prenup months in advance, but you have to make sure there isn't anything else they can claim coercion on. For example, if they claim to be pregnant, you need to get the doctor to sign off on it as proof they're pregnant before you go through all of this, otherwise they can claim you took advantage of them during their pregnancy.
If you do all of this, there's very few courts that won't enforce it. I'm not saying your former spouse won't try to screw you out of more, but it'll make it MUCH harder for them to be successful in that regard.
Basically, the key to all of this, is to hire a good lawyer to write everything up and not cheap out, be fair in the divorce terms, and make sure there's no possible way for you spouse to claim they were coerced into it. It's really not that hard, you just have to no be a butthole during the process. Yeah, it'll suck having to make temporary alimony or a big cash payment, but all of your assets will protected and once you're done with them, you're done with them.
See also Malachi 2:16 and footnotes.
Jesus points to God’s original design for marriage: one man and one woman for life. What kind of marriage do you plan on getting, one defined by the laws of the land, or marriage as defined by God? If you’re getting a marriage as God defines it then you should be entering marriage with the mindset that divorce is not an option. Therefore, a prenup has no place in a Christian marriage.
The hardness of hard is key here. Jesus taught that as Christians we are to forgive as we have been forgiven. Look at what immediately precedes this passage on divorce. At the end of Matthew 18 is the parable of the unforgiving servant. Ten thousand talents is an unplayable debt which is what we owe God. Jesus paid our debt in full on the cross. Back to marriage now. It is impossible for your spouse to accrue a debt with you that is anywhere near the debt that God forgave us. The plan for Christian marriage is to forgive and to seek reconciliation. 1 Corinthians 7:15 shows what happens when hardness of heart is present: the one unwilling to reconcile leaves.
Agree with what others have said. Prenup introduces and makes more real the possibility of failure. If you believe marriage is a covenant, God doesn’t say it’s over just because one of you throws in the towel. I would get premarital counseling and be honest in reflecting on what you learn about yourselves. If red flags are the reason a prenup is needed, heed the warnings and call it off.
I don’t think it’s wrong per se; I just think that if you genuinely hold to a Christian view of marriage then you are unlikely to want a prenup. Most people with a Christian view of marriage see it as the “two becoming one” and something that man should not separate.
A prenup seems to convey a mutual (albeit seemingly benign) level of distrust in the other—at which point I ask: “Why make the marriage vow in the first place?” If your relationship is such that neither of you can fully trust the other to stay until death do you part, then why vow to do so?
If your mutual view of marriage finds one leaving the other as a possible outcome, then marriage is not what you are looking for; rather, you’re looking for some aspects of marriage (sex, cohabitation, procreation, some level of mutual commitment), but not the full scope. In essence, you’re looking to be long term boyfriend and girlfriend.
I agree with your parents.
back in the days the bible was written divorced women 99% of the time got screwed over. Today in the US it's the other way 80% of men gets screwed over. So account for the times.
Finally, I look at trump as an example, divorced 2x kids still loves/talk to him, ex wives well taken cared off. Probably tried his best in making it work. Don't think he ever cheated despite the smear. Its ok to be smart and safe, imho.
I have put alot of thought into this one...I have alot of assets lol I am constantly warned by those that love me to protect myself....but I do believe love conquers all and when my time comes and I decide to marry again I will be all in. Money means nothing. God provides everything I need and if I need to give half of everything I have to someone else in the future then its because God has something better for me. He may require me to do that without marriage I do not know. There is no fear in love. I have faith that God will provide everything I need.
We are not living in your parents time, if she's bringing no assets and doesn't want a pre-nup then she doesn't love you, she loves your assets. Simple.