I just need some prayers for my marriage. Just had a loud long fight with my wife. Some stuff came out that cant be put back in. We have 3 kids masked in school for 1.5 years. I am nearing my precipice. I dont know what to do, she is stuck in the go with the flow it will end soon. I know it wont. Our problems go back further than covid, I can see the societal brainwashimg effecr her, I have pointed out instamces, there is no listening just emotions.
She is Christian, but I dont know how much she looks to God for answers. I pray daily, many days multiple times.
I dont know I am rambling just dont know where to go with this, too many details to discuss, married for over 20 years. Please pray for my family.
I have prayed.
If you're having trouble discussing this then perhaps you could try to write her a letter. Write to the caring woman you love and speak only of how the world is making you feel and your fears for the well being of the family. Be careful not to accuse anyone of anything. Be loving and vulnerable and let her know. Take a few days to think about exactly what you want to say.
If the letter doesn't spark a discussion, ask her to write you a letter or just tell you how she feels.
Just a suggestion.
You may not be able to change her view of the world, but you may be able to reach a compromise.
thank you, good idea. I will see if I can write such a letter. I have teied before but have not worded them well.
I'd add, write the letter and then sleep on it and reread it. Give yourself time to consider your words hot and cold, as it were. May God help you both to work this out.
I would just like to add, be loving and kind. You are to love her as Christ loves the church. Marriages are complicated because there are two sinners in it. It is so worth the work to heal it though. You’re supposed to lift each other up. No bad mouthing one another to the kids, family, friends or co workers. Do things for her that she wouldn’t expect but is thoughtful. Make her tea or coffee in the morning. Little things mean a LOT. Mostly, however, you have the right idea. Prayer and being in the word is paramount. Praying for your family and may God bless you all.
If you have time, watch this video in full and mainly do one thing
LISTEN AND BE FULLY PRESENT WITH ALL SHE SAYS AND LET HER EMOTIONS DO NOT HARM YOU, BUT BE HEARD, SEEN AND FELT WITH AN OPEN HEART AND COMPASSION. Don't say anything, look her in the eyes and be fully present.
She will feel loved for the first time in her life. Women crave that! Women crave a strong centered man who is present in the storm who will not fight or run!
Yes, I am a lady pede and speak from experiene. Always after a sudden fight when my boy friend starts to listen and to be present, I instantly calm down, feel his love and come back to reason.
WE NEED STRONG MEN AND THEIR LOVE, PRESENCE AND COMPASSION. Because our emotions in stressing times drive us nuts and helpless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh-eKRGvmCg&t=3s
If you have not so much time, watch from timestamp 45:00 on.
May the Almighty God bless your marriage with love, peace and strength - every day even stronger.
If you have kids there is no such thing as divorce or living seperately. You are bonded together for life, due to payments, love for the kids, decision making etc.
You'll do just fine. God Speed. 🙏
A+++ advice.
Just received a "note" from my wife recently as well. It happens!
Not comparing our situations OP; they are very different (they always are). But if there's any "Answer" it's this.
God provides, let Him speak.
Letter writing is a great way to overcome the emotional turmoil of in the moment disagreements. It allows you to be truthful as well as thoughtful without the emotion induced brain fog, accusatory declarations and defensive degradation.
I agree with the sleep on it before you give her the letter advise as well.
Ask her to write you a response and afterwords you can both discuss from a more enlightened platform.
It is the emotional responses that kill reasoned discussion in a marriage. I think anyone who has been married can understand this point.
Were you ultimately able to resolve the issue another way and if so, how?