33 NFL introduces NEW EMERGENCY RULES: 'Touching with two hands' now qualifies as a tackle, 'no play should exceed ten yards', etc. 🐴 SHITPOST 💩 posted 2 years ago by ProudOfAmerica 2 years ago by ProudOfAmerica +33 / -0 Players lives are at stake. What other modifications could limit cardio-exertion? 21 comments share 21 comments share save hide report block hide replies
New NFL rule: Absolutely NO RUNNING! All plays are to be done at a fast walking pace.
Good one! -- One foot touching the ground at all times!
Feel good about yourself today... You've saved lives.
Walkers are reccommended, to mitigate collapse.
If the defense says "I see you" to the QB 10 times before the ball leaves his hands..it's considered a sack.
...and the QB isn't allowed to say:
There are rumors they will be merging with the Powder Puff Football League to increase viewership. New uniforms will be belly shirts and booty shorts.
...and to avoid #MeToo complaints, no aggressive contact of any kind.
Have they ever taken a knee? Worn Ukraine-colored tights?
That's what I appreciate about wrestling. They are 'open' about their theatrics.
Unlike DC, where they want you to think it's all 'real'.
NFL has turned all VR based video game play.
Another new NFL rule: All games must be played in the latest issue of the Madden video game.
But (for safety reasons), you cannot use a vibrating controller.
Joe Biden would be great in the NFL.
Outlaw the game in the name of safety.
"If it saves just one life..."
waqiting for this to be a babylon bee article...
good post.
It really should be. :)
I know this is a shitpost but the truth is stranger than fiction.
This Year's Pro Bowl game is going to be with flags and there will be no tackling.
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/26/nfl-replaces-pro-bowl-with-flag-football-skills-competitions.html
<stunned silence>
Wow.