323 President Trump tells the judge "I would not under any circumstances have any interest in you" (twitter.com) posted 1 year ago by kula 1 year ago by kula +323 / -0 66 comments share 66 comments share save hide report block hide replies
Reminds me of that Steven Wright joke, “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” “Yeah, you’re ugly. Do you see that woman in the jury, I’d like to sleep with her.”
"Why were you driving so fast?"
"See this pedal? When I press it with my foot, it makes the whole car go faster."
"Don't you know the speed limit here is 40 miles an hour?"
"Yeah, but I didn't plan to be out that long."
“Sorry sir, I was just trying to keep up with traffic.”
Officer: “There is no traffic”
“I know, that’s how far behind I am.”
"I used to work at a fire hydrant factory, but quit. Couldn't park anywhere NEAR the place."