Welcome to General Chat - GAW Community Area
This General Chat area started off as a place for people to talk about things that are off topic, however it has quickly evolved into a community and has become an integral part of the GAW experience for many of us.
Based on its evolving needs and plenty of user feedback, we are trying to bring some order and institute some rules. Please make sure you read these rules and participate in the spirit of this community.
Rules for General Chat
-
Be respectful to each other. This is of utmost importance, and comments may be removed if deemed not respectful.
-
Avoid long drawn out arguments. This should be a place to relax, not to waste your time needlessly.
-
Personal anecdotes, puzzles, cute pics/clips - everything welcome
-
Please do not spam at the top level. If you have a lot to post each day, try and post them all together in one top level comment
-
Try keep things light. If you are bringing in deep stuff, try not to go overboard.
-
Things that are clearly on-topic for this board should be posted as a separate post and not here (except if you are new and still getting the feel of this place)
-
If you find people violating these rules, deport them rather than start a argument here.
-
Feel free to give feedback as these rules are expected to keep evolving
In short, imagine this thread to be a local community hall where we all gather and chat daily. Please be respectful to others in the same way
Been going to Alcoholics Anonymous and it's starting to grind on my nerves. Bunch of bleating deacons and once you look past the wrinkles and grey hairs you realize these people have suppressed spiritual and mental growth for decades with booze. It's a bunch of sixty year old shells giving the emotional perspective of a twenty year old. I definitely appreciate a small portion of truly wise individuals but they're few and far between.
There's this seventy year old lady there that everyone says is a sweetheart, the other day she needs a ride. She can tell I'm right winged and decides to tell me she's a lesbian and her husband years ago figured it out and outed her to their kids... like I'm supposed to be sympathetic or some shit. She tells me about how he turned into a "bad person" and was terrible towards the end of their marriage before he died.
I go back and my friend is like, "isn't Kathleen a wonderful and sweet woman?". I told him I hate her the most of everyone there and that she's a selfish cunt, he was shocked to say the least. She envied everyone else so much she faked love and created lives with an unsuspecting man. She basically killed her husband and fucked up two children in the head because she couldn't be honest. She's a coward. I'd never marry some fag and adopt kids pretending I'm gay like the other 98% of society if the roles were reversed. I don't care where you stand on homosexuality that's some cold shit to do to someone. That guy could've met someone better and probably wouldn't have turned into a drunk and still be alive without that devastating bitch.
The 12 steps have been very helpful in my life. I'm on the the other side, the Anon side, but we had several from AA and NA show up, because they wanted to learn how to change their ways, said AA was keeping them from drinking, but they wanted more. I've been to Al-anon, Nar-anon, and other programs. Unfortunately, my most useful meeting turned into a liberal "safe place", where after the meeting meetings (and sometimes even during meetings) were spent insulting or putting down conservatives. Attended meetings in several different states, due to work or vacation travel. Found some good meetings, found some super dysfunctional meetings. Found some friends, but didn't want to be friends with everyone who came. Read the literature, hang out with those you connect with, and grow together. You'll continue changing, growing, learning, and old friends won't fit anymore, because our spiritual growth paths tend to diverge. Enjoy the journey and all the new people you'll meet. There will be some true gems along the way.
What the hell would compel you to want to bash conservatives all day? I make my share of jokes about woke liberals but going to a group specifically to do so would make me feel like a loser and pity the ones creating these places.
They weren't loud and obnoxious so most people didn't really notice. It was a lot of little snippy remarks sometimes almost under their breath. Probably should have called them out on their comments, but I was a bit outnumbered. Decided it just wasn't worth my time going anymore.
Yeah, same boat when I go to the liberal side of my state, they even have a woke libtard tranny at one of the meetings, there's no mystery why it drinks. If I were so unhappy with myself and that mentally ill I'd just go full Leaving Las Vegas style and drink myself to death. I just really feel like I'm better off finding a decent church with people my age instead of AA. Meet some new friends and maybe a nice lady that have mentally and spiritually grown the entire time I was out being selfish and partying... learn from people who didn't squander their youth lol.
Read the Big Book, inside those rooms, we are trying to stay away from a drink, There are helpful steps, the 4th step is about taking our own inventory, not anyone elses. Why? Because sobriety is a way to be happy and fulfilled without a drink. Raging at others of why or who they are, and resenting someone likeing that person, even if you do not, does not sound like peace of mind to me. There are a million reasons an alcoholic will find to drink, Resentment is the reason for 90% of them. It's not a social club, except that everyone when the sit down, is there because they could not stop messing up their lives with alcohol, There will be people you do not like for reasons that do not bother others. But maybe that person has a way of keeping sober that you might need someday, One Day at A Time
If you haven't met anyone you don't like at a meeting then you aren't going to enough they say. I wouldn't necessarily say it's resentment, I just can't be cordial with some of these folks. My old boss had his kid released from prison and came to work with me, something was off about him so I looked into his charges, he was convicted of raping his sisters for years... 11 and 12 and he was 20 when he got got locked up for 5 years. I couldn't stay working there. I'm not able to overlook certain stuff, it is a character defect and I've asked God to remove it.
I'm sorry to hear you have had bad experiences with the meetings. I to did not find the meetings helpful, though I know many that do. I'm sure each meeting is different and anytime you get addicts together...there are gonna be a lot that are dealing with there own demons.
Have you thought about joining a local church. The 12 steps do have some biblical support...though they don't ground it in Christ...so it falls short in many ways.
The important thing is to "control the things you can control" which doesn't include how others act...only how we respond to there actions. Love you fren. Feel free to reach out if you ever need a fren to talk to or need prayer. Love you
I've met some really great people there too but I just don't think it's healthy for me to be around some of the people there. I realize that I'm going to have health issues from alcohol and want to be a better son, business owner, friend etc. so I quit drinking. I wish I had some of you as friends in real life. It feels like I'm lumped in with some truly awful people and I'm glad they're getting help but I didn't ruin other people's lives, I was a good person even drunk I'm just better off without it. It's wrong for me to judge but I don't want to be around shitty people regardless of their sobriety.
I can't be around people who ditched their kids, beat their spouse, cheated, lied, stole... I'm guilty of dodging responsibility and spending too much time getting drunk with my dog and fishing... led girls on because I was drunk and horny....
Wow fren awesome heartfelt stuff right here. Thanks for being open.
What is the reason you feel you can't be around people with certain faults/sins?
Someday I trust we will all be able to meet. Praying on that very thing often.
Fren that's awesome that you wanted to be a better person. Keep at it.
I think I get what Luminescent is saying. At least, I think so. Some people are just so toxic, it's dangerous to be around them. And I feel no obligation to do so. If God wants me to be around them, He'll prompt me and give me the strength. Not everybody is worth our time. Some are just demons in disguise.
Some people actually are better than other people. Trump is better than Biden, for instance.
Pain expresses itself differently in each person. Sometimes it helps to just share what we are thinking with others, regardless of if it's justified...or a correct approach or grounded in truth.
I read his message as simply this
I don't give a shit why she drinks, I don't want to be around a bunch of pride supporting people that turn a blind eye to such obvious sin and evil just because they're sober. It's not fair for you to judge me and I her but here we are. I'm just hoping for a decent church or a better group of people at a different club. I'm not Jesus but if I was I'd be kicking over tables and whip people, I don't want to hang around murderers and adulterers. My aunt used to go to church and pretend she was this wonderful woman, people thought she was a nice sweet woman too but I watched her let her own children go hungry and whip them with electrical cords.
I am facing my problems, dealing with evil is easier when I'm drunk because I don't notice how horrible some people are. I didn't say I was an alcoholic, you did.
Luckily Jesus doesn't feel this way. If you aren't able to yet show them grace then it's probably best to be real with yourself and try to stay away from them until God can soften that part of your heart. This way you aren't laying judgement that doesn't belong to you.
I completely understand your frustration with people though and have been through that myself
Thank you, this helps. I pray for guidance every morning, I'm probably just being shown a lesson God knows I'm ready for now.