Whether or not Q is real, whether or not the military will save us, it cannot change your actions today. You have control over what you control, and no control over what you cannot control. You will be held to account to God for how you decide to act within the realms where you have power to act. Thus, you must focus exclusively on what you can do and should do, and how best to execute on it.
At the top of the priority list should always be your devotion to God. God demands we worship him and him alone. This means you must study out who God is and how to properly worship him. This is not for the faint of heart -- even studying and practicing for a lifetime is not enough to understand what this means. Every thought must be directed to him. Every prayer to him. Every action to him. Every offering to him.
From here, all things branch out. The Two Great Commandments, available both in the Old and New Testaments, is to "Love God" and "Love your neighbor". How to love God? With all your heart, might, mind and strength. How to love your neighbor? As yourself. What does love mean? We in modern society think of love as a feeling, but it is an action, and act, something you do and not feel.
The Ten Commandments branch from these, and cover the most basic elements of proper actions. It is clear from these commandments that God values honesty, fidelity in marriage, family life, and property ownership. Of course, we can go through the Old and New Testaments and find multiple explicit commandments or punishments for disobedience. Again, a lifetime of study is not enough time to learn how to act rightly before God.
Let's bring this home to our modern times and our modern understanding.
- Get married, stay married, and practice sexual activity only in marriage. Any extra-marital sexual act is forbidden. That means no porn, no adultery, no pre-marital sex. No divorce! But on a higher level, this is a devotion to family life. No greater happiness exists than fulfilling your duty in your family. And the reverse, No greater sadness exists than failing your duty in your family. Bear lots of children, more than you can handle. No one ever said, "I wish I didn't have so many kids!" Spend all of your efforts teaching and raising your kids. No physical treasure compares to well-raised kids.
- Get rich. This isn't optional. How do you get rich? Write a budget. Spend less than you earn. Earn more. Build an emergency fund. Get out of debt. Acquire investments assets -- real estate being a major one. Become truly self-sufficient with a garden and animals you raise and eat. Dave Ramsay has a lot of advice on how to get rich and how to behave as a rich person.
- Get educated. The idea that the purpose of education is to learn "practical skills" is absurd. Real education is about developing the proper and right character and attributes. Real education starts with the Bible and a whole lot of time praying and seeking truth. Of course you are going to incorporate other methods and materials.
- Get strong. "Physical strength is the most important thing in life" as Rippetoe says. It doesn't matter what you have if you are physically incompetent and require a wheelchair or medicine just to cope with life. People bound to wheelchairs and who require medicine just to live know what a great gift it is to have a body that works -- so keep your body in the best physical condition you can get it!
When we have enough people living rightly, with strong families, personal and familial real wealth, and a true and real education, physically fit, then we can talk about become self-governing. Until that point, however, we are far to weak in one way or the other to matter, and easily manipulated or controlled.
The first goal is to learn to govern yourself, then to govern your family, then to govern your community and finally your nation. If you cannot govern yourself, you cannot govern your family. And so on.
You lost me at no divorce. So women who are treated badly have to stay?
Jesus gave adultery as permissible exception for divorce. And my husband and I were talking about this, recently, and he thinks that can easily be extended to include physical abuse. Because in both instances, your spouse broke their vow.
The problem is, people nowadays treat marriage as if it's any kind of dating relationship and not a vow you take before God to be with your husband/wife and be faithful until death. I am married, and I take my vows VERY seriously. My husband and I went into marriage saying that divorce was NOT an option. And we fight sometimes and get frustrated with one another, but our commitment to each other is so high that we both try and work things out. For better or for worse.
We have been married for 10 years and we have an incredible relationship and are more in love and devoted to each other than ever. It just takes some work. Learn each other's love languages, spend time together, forgive each other when you mess up because we are all sinful humans. Communication is HUGE. 99% of all relationship problems can be solved with good honest communication.
At the end of the day, it is God's wish for marriages to remain intact as much as possible. That is a fact. You become one with your spouse when you get married, but this is why he tells people not to be unequally yoked and gives tons of marriage advice in the Bible. It isn't always easy, and marriage should be treated very seriously.
If there was a reason to get married in the first place, then there's a reason to stay together. Marriages don't deteriorate because some magical force has left the household, it's because one or both of the members have given up on the core tenants of marriage.
Love is a decision, not a feeling.
There might have been a reason to get married in the first place, but it doesn't always follow that there's a reason to stay together. You might have married someone who seemed lovely at the outset, but who has become abusive, unfaithful, addicted to a dangerous substance or habit and refuses to get help, has an anti-social personality disorder they were able to hide with a charming social mask, or engages in serious criminal activity.
Love is an action and a decision you make, not a feeling. Here is God's definition of love:
Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If you read that, you can clearly see that these things are all actions. This is the biggest lie that has been perpetuated in our culture. Loving feelings an ebb and flow depending on life circumstances, but those feelings are temporary. My love for my husband is permanent because I try my hardest to be patient and kind with him. I put his needs above my own. I don't provoke him to anger. I try really hard not to keep accounts of wrongs suffered (this one is hard lol), etc.
This is why it's so important to choose the right partner BEFORE you get married. Choose someone with the same values and beliefs on marriage, love, and commitment. My husband views love in the exact same way that I do, so even during the hard times, we still try our hardest to love one another (through actions). And the beautiful thing is that the loving feelings ALWAYS come back. We work things through, communicate, and come up with solutions and compromises to our problems and things come back around. And when one of us screws up, we apologize and forgive each other instead of holding things over each other.
So I guess to summarize, I don't believe there are only 2 courses of actions as you stated in your comment:
Stay together and be miserable or Leave and be happy apart
And what do you do when there are problems in your new relationship? All relationships face hard times. Every single one. If you don't stay and fight in the first one, why would you stay and fight in the next one???
Again, this is not for extreme cases like domestic violence or adultery.
Actually, that's Paul's definition, and while it's important to grasp how God speaks to us through his word, through his instruments, like Paul, it's still Paul, and Paul isn't God. IMO.
Just saying.
My marriage was full of difficult, painful challenges for both my wife and myself. We stuck together because of our dedication to God, and his Blessing on our marriage. At least, I did, and I think my wife too.
It was only after 20 years of lots of hard work, trial, tribulation, and perseverance, that we came upon what could only be described as the Oasis in the desert. And the reward of our marriage is greater than anything I really imagined. I'm so grateful now for my wife, and for our marriage. My conclusion: it's ONLY by working on the marriage, and yourself, that true happiness comes. People rarely understand the blessing God has prepared for them because they become overwhelmed with the difficulty, and end up turning away, from God and themselves.
Despite my own theological quibble above (Paul), I really liked your comment.
well stated.
The misery can be unbelievably real and never seem to end - for years/decades.
I love my mother but I don’t talk to her or have anything to do with her because she is a toxic narcissist who is looking to find ways to get other people to do things for her. I don’t hate her but I had to remove her from my life because she is so emotionally destructive to me. I went to see her after ten plus years of not talking. The only thing she could talk about is how I should sell my house, but one with her and take care of her and the child she has. He’s twenty years younger than I am and likely was used as a means of manipulating other people. A long string of broken hearts behind her and she is losing the battle to age.
She isn’t aware of herself though so I don’t blame her, I don’t hate her but there are times where a person must look at life objectively and say: “This person cannot be in my life because of the danger they pose to my family.”
100%
You are right. I see people dating or living together and mingling finances and I then see people married and acting like they are dating (seperate finances and social lives). Both are getting it equally wrong biblically speaking. More pastors needs to preach on biblical relationships.
Tommy Nelson has an AMAZING study on Song of Solomon that I recommend to everyone. It is incredible and so funny. I watched it before I got married and my husband and I watched it together after we got married. It's phenomenal.
100% agree!
u/killerbunny88 has written a beautiful reply to your question.
I would only add that this question of yours is similar to the one about abortions for rape victims. (I'm not equating the two, but there are similarities in your question.) I think abortions are terrible, miserable things that should never happen, but exceptions exist for exceptional circumstances. The same goes for divorce.
Read the bible, talk to those you trust, find therapies that work for you, pray on these issues, confess your sins, etc... In sum, always treat the decision (whether abortion, divorce, etc) with the caution and consideration it deserves.
I will say that the ONLY exception for abortion I agree with is if the mother is going to die without one. And even then, if the baby is past the point of viability, all attempts to save the life of the baby should be made.... (an emergency early delivery/C-section vs an abortion).
But there are some circumstances (ectopic pregnancies for one) where this is necessary because the baby is going to die in either circumstance, so it is being done to attempt to save one life instead of losing two.
Rape/incest while terrible do not give people the right to murder an innocent baby. As horrible as that is, two wrongs do not make a right and that baby should not be murdered because of the sins of his/her father.
But I do understand the point you were making, and I agree with your premise that exceptions exist for exceptional circumstances.
I’ve become of this opinion. Abortion is painful for the baby. It’s cruelty. You wouldn’t treat a dog that way. She or he couldn’t control the reason for her or his creation and doesn’t deserve to be dismembered and horribly destroyed for it. Once you think of it in very basic terms of even just animal cruelty, suddenly the shades of gray get much closer to the contrast of black and white.
Yes, exactly. I didn't want to make it a "moral war", so I avoided including my own opinions on the matter. I agree with you on all points.
The problem is officially statistics show very small percentage of abortions are rape...
But people forget that most rapes are not reported or confirmed. Many women will get an abortion and not mention rape.
Religiously motivated social piety is still social piety. When prolifers as a whole condemn IVF and champion adoption, I'll respect their position a lot more.
There are waiting lists for unborn babies being given up for adoption. The children that have a hard time being adopted are those in the foster system. And many children in foster care are not cleared for adoption. The foster system's primary goal is to reunite biological families. This can be heartbreaking for people who have children they want to adopt taken away from them. It's a big mess.
But in the case of a woman not aborting her baby, the baby would be given up at birth and there are waiting lists of potential parents. Some parents wait for years to get a baby.
But adoption is incredibly expensive. Like insane. And you as the parents pay for the health expenses of the mother. But, if she changes her mind after the baby is born, you lose all the $. So you can be out thousands and thousands of dollars and not get a baby. It's quite a mess.
And of course there are success stories and everything is fine, but there is also some horror stories and I have friends who have gone through them, so it's not as easy as just saying "just adopt." There is A LOT to it.
Source: Trying to conceive for 10 years and have looked into adoption
Again, my point isn't to argue the morality of abortions (although my feelings on this should be clear from above posts)...
The point is that exceptions exist for exceptional circumstances.
This goes for divorce, too.
It's equally important to understand that not all circumstances are exceptional, and divorce should be a serious (not spontaneous) decision.
My whole argument with abortion actually stems from the fact that the government has no right to force us to pay taxes, and then take that money and commit a horrible act. I believe instead of teaching people abortion is wrong (which is what I believe), teach them how we (conservatives) do not condone state funded abortions. I often say to leave it up to the free market, and yes it is ultimately a womens choice that they will have to live with and deal with god. I believe if we left it to the free market you would see a dramatic change in the number of abortions because no sane person invests millions of dollars into a clinic that directly kills babies. And even if they are, the market would be small and prices would be high creating a small market for abortions to only affluent families. And most abortions are lower income women. Yes there might still be abortions, but the number would dramatically decrease and that is a win. We might not be able to stop all abortions, but not allowing the state to fund them will definitely decrease the number significantly. Personally no I don't believe in abortions, but when I argue it I try and make it a political issue and argue that the government does not have the right to fund abortions.
that is where discernment comes in, an no not disshing you my sis is going through issues because she finally married the kunt after 10 years, nothing changed but their second child had a married couple before theyeased apart.
they are allowances for husband/wify not honoring biblical basis. but today has become no fault divorce it isnt about relationship its about, something, less.
I would say, given the context, the OP is saying "Do NOT consider divorce as an easy option, or as any kind of option, except under extreme circumstances." I'd like to think so, anyway.
The fact that divorce is seen as an escape route by people who are not happy in their lives, or in their marriages, is one of the greatest cultural blights on modern Western society. If something is not right, first check yourself, and invest yourself. Take responsibility.
Being treated badly, for either men or women, is painful and difficult. If you are using that as a euphemism for "being physically / mentally / emotionally abused" then OK. That's is NOT acceptable.
(Why do you focus only on women, tho?)
Personally, I think divorce is only acceptable under very extreme circumstances. To damage and hurt created by divorce often lasts generations. Overcoming difficulties is how generational success is built.
Ok. I'll stop the lecture now. Sorry. Verbose. If there's something here that makes sense to you, keep it. Otherwise, just ignore.
A blessing on you and your house. wwg1