posted ago by DuckButter ago by DuckButter +111 / -3

I had an entire long exposé typed last night, espousing God's grace to me and I fell asleep and deleted my testimony. Doh

I've been healed from 45 yrs of PTSD! It's not PTSD...it's cPTSD. PTSD never encompassed ME. cPTSD is as if I wrote the whole signs/symptoms/sequelae myself. I not crazy. Wow. Not paranoid anymore. I've always thought everyone hated me...they dont!! I can look in a mirror again!!! (And I'm extremely handsome! 😂😂😂) I have my family back. A happy house!!!

"Complex" from lifelong trauma beginning as a child. Had no defenses in place... only trust and dependance and they were quashed. Betrayal is alln i6ve ever known...but MAN betrayed me. Not God. He held me and cried as I endured. I was never alone.

I like me now. I can leave the porch. I can go to stores. ALL of my chronic pain is gone!! No spontaneous weeping or anxiety.
The list is too lengthy.

I rarely pray for me anymore. I spend my time in PRAISE for victories, grace, patience, love and all this God has bestowed upon me...even thru the hell. Thank Him for ALLOWING you to suffer...it's the least we can do. I just pray that my feet are placed where He wants them.

Never give up! 45 yrs I waited. It was worth it all.

The last 20 yrs have been a living hell, throughout which I acted ok and just persevered in pain. I'm free.

(A special THANK YOU to Ashlanddog...he was the 1st cog in God's healing process for me. One never knows how our words are used for good for the will of God)


Sorry if I've been a butthole at times. Really. j

Comments (24)
sorted by:
CherokeePede 11 points ago +12 / -1

God heals all and makes us stonger.

Thankful you are healed fren!!

DuckButter [S] 5 points ago +6 / -1

Thank you!

I'm a little Cherokee myself. Grandma was Melungeon.

Used to work on Cherokee res in Tahlequah. Great times.

NeverStopBelieving 10 points ago +10 / -0

Glory to God ! Praise the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords ! I am so happy for you healing Hope restoration just a few of the wonderful free gifts that Jesus wants us to have, happy to hear Dog was part of your journey he's helped so many on this board !

KeepUrFork 8 points ago +8 / -0

Thank you, Jesus, for this healing!

usernamenottaken 6 points ago +7 / -1

Much love and gratitude to you for sharing your experience!

Once you release the demons and focus on the all powerful light of our God Creator, the blessing of his divine infinite grace flows freely throughout you and raises the vibration of everything.

Your story is the epitome of WHERE WE GO ONE, WE GO ALL!

DuckButter [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

Tears of joy flow now...just one big chill bump!

Been a Christian all my life, but my wounded headbone heard the lies, whilst still knowing the truth. So strange, yet beautiful.

DuckButter [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

I've been attacked many times. Since i was 8. It used to compel me to literally hang myself with my belt. 3x. Tiny nail. I'm alive. I was 8 and happy happy happy! I've only recently told anyone this story. Not telling mom! My brother didn't fair so well. Same hallway. 1983.

And we were raised in Congo by medical/Christian missionaries. Been under attack since 65.

Other brother o.d.'d in 74.

Pissed the devil off bad when my parents gave up everything, semimary x4yrs here, learned 2 languages in 2 yrs in Brussels and moved to the middle of Tarzan's backyard lol Crazy Tennesseans. .....

Since I, for the umpteenth time, gave it BACK to God and pulled my hands all the way out of the situation this time, and let God lead and do the fighting while I praise and obey is a powerful weapon.

It's slunk away. My guard is up. Solid ground.

Thank you.


Romans 12:12

Read about Jehoshaphat...

propertyofUniverse 5 points ago +6 / -1

Keep it up fren.

Practice your new habits so that they become second nature, that way you won't slip back.

Here's what works for me:

These days I walk around quietly expecting new people to like me, after all, there's no reason that they shouldn't by default. This works very well because it means I have an open positive demeanour where I might not have had a few years ago.

DuckButter [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

I love people.

Working intimately with people from all walks of life was daily therapy x 30 yrs. Rarely talked about meds, etc...usually life.

Been away from "my people" for 5 yrs since my eyes went down. Wonderful family I had...people everywhere. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Used to take me forever to get out of a store cause I knew so many people. Such an honor, I must say.

Helluva bell-shaped pain curve out there


gobby 5 points ago +5 / -0

This is great to hear. Very happy you are better.

ashlanddog 5 points ago +5 / -0

...life is sweet...

...God is so very good....

...a life with love has it's thorns...

...but a life without love has no roses...

...praise God your faith and family have been restored....

proforma 4 points ago +4 / -0

Congratulations, sounds like this had plagued you for a long, long time. God's grace and your prayers.

DuckButter [S] 5 points ago +5 / -0

HAD! So true.

I may slip up a little, but I'm better equipped now....plus frens praying is essential.

Lifelong lies are being replaced with Truths. Stuff I've innately known, yet was blinded by those constant, insidious trolling lies.

Guilt, misery, loathesomeness, false deservedness, "less than", unworthiness...all lies! God makes no such person.


MissMagaMillenial 4 points ago +4 / -0


Make_It_So 4 points ago +4 / -0

Good News!

numina22 4 points ago +4 / -0

Duck, congratulations! Welcome to the club! Many of us here are Christians, and we all have different ways of showing it or using what we know. Looks like God has called you, and you listened! God Bless you!

deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
TopKek 4 points ago +4 / -0

Amen brother/sister!!!! God is soooooo GOOD!!!!!

ThinQ 3 points ago +3 / -0

u/ashlanddog you got some nice kudos in OP's post, here, that you might want to read.

ashlanddog 3 points ago +3 / -0

...wags tail humbly....

PowderRoomPolitics 3 points ago +3 / -0

Amen! Ephesians 1

DuckButter [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

So beautiful...

Mountaing8 2 points ago +2 / -0

May you touch many more souls with your truth. Praise God, praise life.

DuckButter [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

Thanks so much. Feel so good...no words.