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What do you guys think the point of all this is, the point of life etc? I believe in God but I'm not a Jesus person. I believe we are in a spiritual battle but I don't understand it or what the point is. Are humans simply on Earth facing evil to develop our souls?
Give me some insight into what you believe!
Continued... (3)
The key point here to understand here is that we are created with a purpose, and that purpose is originally designed to be fulfilled by our growing our own hearts and minds aka capacity to give and receive true love, by understanding and following the 'word' given to us by God. The purpose of our creation is to become a perfect object of God's love, so that God can experience joy together with us through love.
How do we grow our hearts? We ourselves need objects to love, right? So as a child, I have my parents, whom I can love and (as we all know) learn to love more as we mature. (It's not always easy, because our parents are not perfect or unfallen, so they cannot love us perfectly either.) I have siblings to love, and I can grow my heart by learning to love them. As a man, I can grow my capacity to love via loving a woman, and visa versa. Then, as a parent, I can grow my heart by learning how to love my child.
What is true and mature love? True and mature love is unconditional love. It is love that does not change, even if the object of love is imperfect, or changes. etc.
What would Adam have been like if he had not fallen but instead had grown into the full capacity of love? Adam's heart would have grown to become fully mature just like God's heart, and Adam would have come to resonate with God and God's love 100%. If God felt sad, Adam would feel sad. If God felt joy, Adam would feel joy. Then, Adam's mind would become the individual expression of God's own mind, and God would live through Adam, and love the universe through Adam. When Adam loved his wife, God would feel that and experience that 100%.
(This then becomes basis for beginning to understand just who Jesus actually was. Jesus is the one who came to restore Adam's failure, and to grow and reach the original perfection that all humanity was destined to grow to and experience. (That's why Jesus is called 'the first fruit', the 'second Adam', the 'true Adam'.) Where Adam actually disbelieved in God's instruction not to eat, Jesus himself believed in his Father and thus grew to full 100% perfection and completion and became the perfect expression of God's love on the individual (man) level.)
The blueprint for the purpose of creation is actually given to us in the scripture. Genesis 1:28
What does it actually mean to be fruitful? When is a tree 'fruitful'? It is when it bears fruit. It bears fruit when it is fully matured, when it has passed through the growing period properly and becoming mature, it begins to bear fruit.
So that first blessing: "be fruitful" actually means "grow to completion/perfection". If Adam had not fallen but instead had kept faith and grown to completion of his heart/mind/spirit, then he would have been 'fruitful'. His heart and his love are the fruit of that process. He would be the embodiment of God's masculine love. Likewise for Eve. If she had kept faith, not done what God guided her not to do, and grown to perfection, she would have become the embodiment of God's feminine love.
Second blessing: multiply. So if Adam had become a perfected man with a heart fully 100% resonating with God, and he loved as God loves, then how to multiply? If AFTER having completed the first blessing and through perfected (unbroken) faith, Adam and Eve reached 100% unity with God's heart, then if they were blessed in unity aka married to each other under God's blessing, they would love each other as God loved each other them, and the children who were born would have been born to parents who embodied the perfect love of God. Such children would have very naturally grown up protected by their parents, raised in God's full love, and themselves would pass through that growing process safely. Such a family would embody God's love on the family level, and multiply out in to a God-centered clan, God-centered tribe, God-centered society, and God-centered humanity.
Third blessing: Have dominion over the earth. If 'Adam and Eve', and their offspring (aka all humanity) embodied God's love and resonated with God's love, and God's purpose and intent was naturally expressed in their actions and choices, etc, then there could be no concept of exploiting the natural world for destructive selfish gain. Rather, humanity would cherish the precious creation God had given us, and love the creation with the heart of a parent, the heart of one who cultivates and protects nature to enhance its beauty, and enjoy nature, n a manner that would give God the greatest joy.
Thus, be fruitful, multiply and have dominion is a coded blessing, a blueprint for a) reaching self-perfection by faith in God's guidance (aka fulfilling our responsibility to unite with God and his direction) b) multiplying that in a family, clan, community and society and c) living in, loving and nurturing the creation with God's own love.
Such a world would be a perfect object of love for God, and return the greatest joy and love to God. That's the purpose of creation.
What I've outlined here is, I think you'll agree, quite logical and rational. Does this mean it isn't heavenly? Not at all. Rather, when one takes this particular prism and begins to re-examine the Judeo-Christian scriptures (aka Bible), many things become a lot clearer.
Why, for example, does evil exist? If God is all good, he could not create evil, because he doesn't have evil in him, so how could evil come into being? Were Adam and Eve created already perfected? If so, how could they sin? etc.
End: You ask about the spiritual war, and the purpose of our life in conjunction with it. Although there is a lot required to flesh that particular question out, the short answer is, in my understanding, that since the fall of Adam and Eve, God has been directing and guiding a process of restoration, wherein humanity are restored from our fallen position in a fallen lineage founded by 'Adam and Eve', where fallen parents give birth to fallen children and our original capacity to grow our hearts to love as God loves' is short-circuited.
This is why we have to be 'reborn' through Jesus. Why? Because we are born in a fallen lineage.
Gradually, through human history, God has been building a foundation to restore and reverse the mistakes of the original family - Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel, etc. Jesus came to reverse the mistake of Adam and complete the purpose of the creation on the individual level (the first blessing) for the first time in history.
I know you're not a 'Jesus guy', but I've tried to describe some of the key biblical concepts in a way that is less about 'theology' and more about a simple, logical understanding, hopefully to make some of those ideas more accessible. I think folks need to realize that over 2000 years of theological theorizing, many, many ideas and ways of viewing Jesus and the scripture itself have evolved in ways that actually may miss the mark more than we realize.
In my view, the scripture really has one and only one central purpose. It is to open a doorway for people to establish and grow a real relationship with the 'True Adam', aka Christ. Because it is not scripture or theology etc, or faith in these that are the doorway to restoration, but rather, it is the man himself, Jesus, and what is needed for us to grow and restore ourselves and the world is to engraft ourselves on to him, through a real relationship.
Jesus himself said a LOT about how what he was sharing was limited because they could not even bear the more 'heavenly' things he had to say. Somehow, believers fell into a condition where we assume we have the whole picture. We clearly do not. To really grasp who Jesus is, and what is behind what he's telling us, we need to realize that theology is the imperfect attempts of imperfect people with frankly, limited intellectual and logical capacity over the last 2000 years.
We need to become open to realizing that how God understand and intends the scripture may not be exactly what we think it is. Only when we are open to that possibility will God be able to come in an teach us through the heart.
In response to your question re: the spiritual war and our facing evil to develop our souls, I'll say the spiritual war is the one that has been raging since our ancestors failed their responsibility to believe in God and then acted on that disbelief (aka 'fell'). To unlock the doorway for our own spirits and souls to grow (aka to grow our capacity to love as God's loves) we have to overcome the enemy that stands in the way and do what our ancestors could not.
(From a Christian perspective, that means first believing in Jesus, because we have to be 'reborn' spiritually through him to be moved from the satanic lineage of 'Adam and Eve' (who created a satanic lineage through uniting with Lucifer, aka 'Satan') into God's lineage, manifested through Jesus, thus restoring our position, at least spiritually, as God's children. (aka we are born from fallen parents (father and mother) who are all of Adam and Eve's lineage, but through spiritual rebirth through Jesus and the Holy Spirit (as our spiritual parents) we are adopted (restored) back into the lineage of God.)
Once the war is over, and humanity has been reborn both in spirit and in flesh (aka Satan's claim over our bodies is liquidated), then we will gradually recover, over generations, our capacity to grow to perfection like Jesus (Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. Matt 5:48) and finally be restored as God's family in our capacity to fulfill the purpose for which we are created: the embodiment and manifestation of true unchanging and absolute love.
Continued....
What is the point of life? What is the purpose?
If we look at any product or work created by (intelligent) human beings we can see that everything is created with a purpose, and the design of the work is shaped according to that purpose so that the work or product can fulfill that purpose. We can also see that the purpose of the work and the design of that work both reflect the nature of the creator. An artist's work, for example, is a visible expression of the artist's invisible mind. We cannot see the mind, but we can perceive things about the artist's mind by observing the work. Same with an author. Same with creator.
So, how about the Creator of all, God? We can see that all things in the universe exist with an invisible internal character that defines who or what they are plus an external visible form that manifests or expressed that internal character. Human beings have a mind (spirit) and a body (flesh). We cannot see someone's mind, but we can perceive it via how that express themselves via the body, their actions, expressions, words, etc.
Animals have an instinct that is internal and invisible, but the actions and behavior of that animal's body or form is driven and guided by that instinct. An otter behaves differently to a fox: they have different internal natures.
Plants likewise have an inner inherent identity, and they grow according to that nature. Tomatoes grow in the soil, algae grows in water.
On the mineral level, the chemical nature of the minerals determine what they are and how they behave or interact. H2O Water melts at 0 °C celsius, but gold melts at 1,064 °C.
On an atomic and subatomic level, the same principle manifests. Atoms have an inherent directive nature that determines what they are and how they interact. That inherent invisible nature is what we call the laws of physics, and those invisible laws manifest in visible form via molecules, atoms, and sub-atomic particles.
How is it that ALL things in the created universe follow this pattern, of invisible internal nature and visible external form? Where does this pattern come from? When we consider that the created universe, including human beings, are ALL manifestations of God's nature, we can clearly and logically deduce that God the Creator himself has some internal characteristic nature that manifests via some external form. God's internal nature is essentially God's 'mind' the consciousness of God that includes emotion, intellect and will (volition). Human beings have this nature because we are created in 'God's image', i.e. we are a direct (and the highest) expression of God's own nature. However, even more essential to God's internal nature is heart; the ability and impulse to love. This is why we say "God is love" because love is the direct expression of God's most essential nature, his heart.
But what is love, and what is heart? For love to manifest, it requires an object of love. A man loves his wife. Parents love their children. Gardeners love their gardens. Some guys (and gals) love their cars. Etc. Love only manifests in the world when there is an object of love. Love is the emotional impulse to give to that object, to invest in it, to see that object thrive, be happy, grow, benefit, etc. This is the true nature of love. What is the most profound, powerful love? It is the love of a parent for his or her child. A parent will give up their life and sacrifice themselves for the sake of the life of their child.
(Fallen or corrupted love is a completely different story, for another time!)
So imagine God, the absolute consciousness with unbounded, unlimited love, before the creation. Who or what could God love? There was only him. Only God.
This then, is the purpose of creation. God created humanity as his children, his object of love. When God created humanity, then God found his own true nature as our Father. God created the man (Adam) and the woman (Eve) as the perfect and ultimate expression of his own nature in the material world, children who have the capacity just as he does, to love, to give, to find beauty in an object. The more the object reflects one's own nature, the more profound the expression and experience of love, and joy through love.
God created the entire universe as the home for his children, comprised of all the elements that would be required by his children, scaled into three distinct 'kingdoms': the animal, the plant and the mineral kingdoms. As human beings, we are comprised of the elements of the material world, we grow and interact with our environment like plants, bearing seeds and 'fruit', and our bodies also embody an instinctual nature, like animals. But we are different from all these because we have consciousness. We have emotions to feel, intellect to know, and will to desire and drive us. And most important of all, we have a heart, an inherent nature that seeks to give love and be loved and experience joy in love.
And, like all living creatures, we are created to pass through a growing process from the point of conception into full maturity. Plants start out as seeds, for example, then pass through a growing period until they mature and bear fruit aka reproduce. To reproduce, they must grow to that maturity. Animals are conceived by mating between the male and the female, and then grow over time to maturity, after which they can then reproduce. Until the plant matures enough, it must survive. Until the animal matures enough, it is usually protected and nurtured by its parent(s).
Our bodies grow in the same way. We are conceived, then born after gestation, and then over time we grow. We learn, our bodies mature, until after puberty we can then reproduce. However, we reach real physical maturity AFTER the puberty period, around the age or 20 or 21.
In the material world of plants, animals and our physical bodies, the growth is automatic. Add water, sunlight, nutrients and food, plus activity (photosynthesis in plants, behavior in animals and our physical bodies) and these will automatically grow and reach maturity.
However, that unique aspect of ours, our spirit, our heart and mind, the growth of these is NOT automatic. They require something additional. We are endowed with that something that needs to be activated in order for our heart and spirit to grow. That something is choice, aka our responsibility.
Why? Because if God our Father has choice and creativity, plus the responsibility that goes with it, we also need to have that, for us to truly be his children and to be the embodiment of his nature. This is why God had to create humanity with responsibility and choice; so that we would reflect his nature and become the perfect object of his love.
What does this all mean? It means, we are created to grow our hearts and minds aka our capacity to give and receive love, by maturing out hearts, AND, to do that, we have to make the right choices during the period that we grow from immaturity to maturity. This is why God gave 'Adam' and 'Eve' the commandment: (do not eat x). That commandment actually endowed them with responsibility. Choose the right way, believe in what I am teaching you, and you will grow fully into complete life, the perfection of your spirit wherein you reflect my nature perfectly (aka the Tree of Life). But if you disbelieve what I tell you and eat that x, you will die.
It was not a test, it was not a trial. It was the loving guidance of a father educating his children on what they had to do and what to not do in order to grow to fulfill their created purpose. Well, we know they chose to disbelieve their father and the choice they made brought about destruction and separation from God and destroyed their (and our) capacity to grow fully and properly in the spirit. The connection with 'Satan' that was established caused a rift within, so that the seed in our heart from God was now at conflict with a false seed planted by 'the serpent', so that our minds of bodies embodied conflict, between good and evil inside us. And our ability to fulfill the purpose God created us for was demolished.
To be continued....
Ooooh, that's a big question. One that I will answer with a few prefaces:
one, like all things in the universe, human beings are created with the dual characteristics of [invisible internal character] + [external visible form]. At some point in the past, humanity fell into a state of 'corruption' and ignorance (described in many scriptures/faith traditions, such as the story of Adam and Eve). Historically, the re-discovery of truth (knowledge) as the antidote to ignorance has progressed along two distinct paths - an internal (invisible) path and an external (visible) path. These are 'religion' which has been the path to re-cover the truth about our invisible internal nature (aka 'spirit') the 'world' it inhabits (the spiritual world) and 'science' which has been the path to re-cover the truth about our visible external form (aka 'body') and the world our body inhabits, aka the material universe.
Thus, one result of the 'fall' of 'Adam and Eve' was a fall into ignorance about reality (internal and external) but another result was a rift or separation created between our spirit and our flesh. Example, almost all humans desire to be better people, but to act out our lives and live as our hearts aspire to is virtually impossible. We have lived in this dysfunctional state where the inner heart of goodness has been unable to live and act out a life of pure goodness through the outer body.
Just as our spirit and flesh are destined to be re-united and the blockage between them removed aka 'sin' (this is the ultimate goal of all God-inspired faiths), our perception of internal truth recovered via religion is destined to be re-united with our perception of external truth recovered via science.
In other words, the two themes pursued by religion on the one hand and science on the other are destined to be unified. We will come to understand 'spiritual' questions etc, to a highly developed level that is logical, rational, and 'scientific', while our understanding of 'material' questions re: the nature of the material universe will interface with the miracle that is God and the spirit world.
Example: We are close to this point on one hand, with science having reached the point where we now understand that the entire material world is in fact energy, and that this energy functions according to certain rules. What we still do not grasp clearly is how our consciousness interacts with and influences that energy.
In the realm of spirit, however, for the most part, we are still working with very old information. Christianity, which developed as an expression of the message of Jesus Christ, is essentially a 2000 year old message delivered by Jesus at a level that the people of his time could grasp. So today, while the gospel has always been incredibly ground-breaking, there are myriad questions about spiritual reality that simply have not been answered, and many aspects of theology that developed based on what Jesus shared 2000 years ago are quite illogical, and incompatible with a modern, logical way of thinking.
Which leads me to my second preface, quoting St Paul.
What's Paul actually saying here. he is explaining that NOW we (talking about the faithful at that time) see only a dim reflection of reality, but at some future point 'we' will see clearly, like face to face. Now, he only knows "in part" but at some future point aka 'then', he will know fully, even as he IS KNOWN.
This is one of the most powerful scriptures. Who is Paul 'known' by? He is known by God and Jesus. He is essentially telling believers that what they understand via the gospel of Jesus is only a partial aspect of the truth and that at some future point, there must be, there will be, an upgrade into greater comprehension of the 'truth'. Just as Jesus did not contradict the Law of Moses, that upgrade will not contradict what Jesus taught us 2000 years ago, but rather, augment it and raise our understanding to a whole new level.
With all due respect to my fellow believers, the truth is that most Christians think they understand the whole picture, and never really reflect on what Paul is saying here. What Paul is saying is actually borne out by Jesus words himself: "If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?" Also "I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now". etc.
Those are two long prefaces, but I think they are important for giving context to my answer to your (great) question. To be continued.....
its either sway to public opinion or end up the only person doing what they believe in. hint: public opinion ain't all its cracked up to be.
I believe God created us in His image, gave us free will and the gift of His Son Jesus Christ, so that we may ultimately "come to Him" in a perfect Love only gotten through struggling against evil and choosing to be Saved.
That's where I'm at these days. Good question. Bless.
I could accept if Jesus is God but I'm just not there at the moment. I think in the end it doesn't matter if Jesus is God or not but hopefully more important that we live a wholesome life and keep trying to be Good. I mean most people in the world are not Christian but I don't think they should be turned away from Heaven or whatever simply because they had the wrong idea of what "God" ultimately is. I think I get turned off when people say for sure that Jesus is God because many others believe differently. God could be all of them at once or none. All I know is that I know nothing haha! Thanks for the insight, fren!
You are on the right path! Too often, we humans think we know what we know, but very often, we simply do not know what we don't know. Knowing that we do not know is the beginning of true wisdom!
That said, I'll say I think I was where you are now when I was a lot younger.
The conundrum of Jesus vs. other faiths and other founded faiths needs to be resolved logically, rationally, and spiritually, because personally, I think the idea that people can be condemned simply because they do not know the 'truth' is unacceptable. Also, there are many Christians who are convinced they know 'the truth', but in reality, do they embody that 'truth' in their actions, deeds, ability to sacrifice and love others unconditionally?
I don't say that to put fellow believers down, but to say, humility is important, and the last 2000 years are pretty strong evidence that even as Christians, we have NOT had the whole picture.
If you were going to educate, inspire and teach about how the universe works to a bunch of guys who are total nerds and geeky programmers, who spend their days and nights on a computer, would you get them together and start explaining how the universe works by talking about the internal combustion engine and cars and how torque works and fuel efficiency? No. They would not get what you are talking about, would very likely quickly turn off, and what you explain would not mean anything real to them.
But if you start talking about code, about scripts and programmes, and different computer languages, etc, and explain how the universe works giving those examples, you'd engage them, and they would see what you are saying at least, and be able to think about it, and possibly respond and go "aha! I can see that!"
To restore all of humanity who multiplied from one original starting point (aka 'Adam and Eve') into many, many diverse clans, ethnic groups, even nations with very diverse environments, including plants, animals, geographic conditions, etc, God has to start at one starting point. That starting point is what the Israelites called "the Messiah" and what Christians know as Jesus.
However, to raise the level of both faith, and intellect (aka raising spiritual development by teaching some expression of truth (aka how the universe works spiritually), God manifested the truth on a level and in such conceptual manner that fit the people who were being targeted and the instrument through which the truth was being expressed. That's why, for example, approximately 400 years before Jesus, Buddha came and Buddhism was born. Buddha's understanding of the truth was imperfect (because he himself was imperfect) but it was of a much higher level than that of the society in which he was born.
All good faiths teach some very basic, common truths about how the universe works spiritually. It is good to serve, to be generous, to love others, to practice honesty, sincerity, etc.
This is not to say all good faiths are equal. As I said before, Jesus is the central starting point, and from that perspective, the real purpose of ALL other good religions is to prepare people (in those regions) in their spiritual understanding and spiritual development to a point where they can actually connect with the level that Jesus is teaching, who unlike other great spiritual teachers, is perfect and has a full and perfect understanding of truth (because he is the living manifestation of the truth).
However, it is also true that Jesus himself said he could not tell his disciples everything. So while as Christians we might recognize Jesus unique nature, as God's son, and know with conviction that the way to God is somehow through Jesus himself (aka through a relationship with Jesus), there is still a lot that Christians do not know or understand. (Even St. Paul admitted this as much, quite clearly; he understood that he only saw things dimly, like a mirror, not directly.)
Based on limited information and understanding, many Christians think that any religion that is not Christian is evil or satanic, but that's not necessary, logically.
If I want to enter my bedroom, there is only one door I can go through. But to get to my study, I first have to be in the hallway. How do I get there? There are at least four doors via which I can enter my house and therefor walk all the way to the hallway. And, there is a gate at the front of my house which is fenced on all sides, so the gate is the only way into my yard but then I have 4 doorways via which I can enter from my yard into my house.
It's a little foolish to say that all the four doors are bad and useless, or only ONE of the doors into my house is of any worth, simply because there is only ONE door to my study.
Recognizing that all the four doors at least get me HERE (into the house and therefore into my hallway) does NOT contradict the idea that there is only ONE doorway into my study.
Ultimately, all humanity needs to be reborn through Christ, but 2000 years ago, not everyone had access to Jesus. So should God do nothing? No, God has shared and inspired different faiths, as way of moving people from a more dark spiritual location to a lighter spiritual location where he could be more present than otherwise.
The problem of course, is that human beings are fallen and therefore, we have an inbuilt (via the fall of our ancestors) tendency towards corruption, one we constantly have to fight against. So even if God inspires a religion, and works though a founder (a prophet, a teacher, etc) to share some level of truth that is an improvement over the preceding ignorance, we humans tend to mess up and distort what we get.
Example, again. Buddha. Buddha's understanding of the truth was imperfect, but he got some things right, and managed to bring hundreds of thousands and millions out of a greater darkness into a relatively greater light. Yet, he also said to his disciples, "do NOT write down what I teach you! (but practice it)" After he died, the first thing they did? Write down all his teachings!!! Bwahahaha. So you see, religions are imperfect because the people - us - who inherit or practice or establish them are not perfect.
Jesus did NOT establish Christianity. He taught his message, and fulfilled the mission of opening the doorway to spiritual salvation. After Jesus ascended (40 days after resurrection) to the spiritual world, the disciples were left behind to try and figure out what to do, how to do it. St Paul himself ("now we see in a mirror dimly" Paul) was a key figure in establishing Christianity.
So even though Jesus is perfect, Christianity is not. That should be 100% obvious to anyone who knows anything about Christian history. But, some Christians confuse Jesus' perfection with Christian perfection, and in doing so, they condemn all other faiths as being evil. People who are NOT Christian, like yourself, but who are thinking (or trying) to think logically, can see what is obvious: it makes no sense that a God of love would simply condemn any of his children due to ignorance.
Unfortunately, because the level of logical and intellectual understanding at the time of St Peter, St Paul, etc, was very limited, over the 2000 years of Christian history, many Christians have had to "turn off" their logical thinking because there have been too many confusions, theological contradictions, omissions etc, in Christian faith.
Personally, I very strongly believe that the time is coming, if not very, very close, when God is going to reveal a LOT more about spiritual reality and the truth, in ways that will lift us up, even beyond religion, to a place where our understanding of spiritual reality does not contradict or conflict with our understanding of the material universe. God created both the spiritual world and the material world. So it is really very logical that at some point, if we "know, even as I am known" we'll come to grasp spiritual reality and physical reality in a unified way, because both that aspects of reality are from the single one Creator, our Heavenly Father.
But to get there, we're going to have to be a lot more open and a lot less tied to theologies and theological understandings that are 2000, 1600, 1200, or 400 years old, we're going to have to really seek God's understanding and wisdom in humility. Jesus promised that if we do that, then indeed we will be guided "into all truth".
Addendum: I should point out that what I'm saying here does not, I believe, contradict what u/SuddenRealization above has shared with you. He's shared the scriptures that point to that exclusivity, which I 100% fully affirm. Jesus Christ is THE doorway to God and salvation.
However, Jesus spoke a LOT in parables and figures. Sometime when his words are taken literally, they result in illogical conclusions. So the real question is, what is Jesus saying to me here, and what kind of relationship is he guiding me to connect with him through?
Eg. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
Obviously, Jesus is NOT telling people to commit suicide. Rather, he is saying that when you love God and Jesus more than you love your own life, then the doorway to true life will open.
Different theologians all have their own interpretations and beliefs, but no theologian can open the doorway to eternal life. The can, imperfectly, point the way towards or even away from Jesus. What really counts for YOU is connecting with Jesus, but always having the heart of humility that you started with: "all I know is that I know nothing".
Being humble before God is where it all starts. Theologians might help you or they may not. And even if you think they do, the important thing is to bring that to God and offer it to God and ask God always to guide you. Just realize that neither God nor Jesus are theologians. God is your father, and Jesus is the doorway to your father, your best guide and the best friend you will ever know, should you choose to know him.
Jesus claimed exclusivity. We're having this conversation because God is calling you, asking you to see the truth. Jesus did not leave a "middle way" option open.
Matthew 10
32 “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.
34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn
“‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— 36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."
If you are uncertain why Jesus, check out https://carm.org/atheism/why-believe-in-christianity-over-all-other-religions/