I had an ex that did many threatening and harassing things to me, but she performed work for the state's social services, so the cops and prosecutor were not willing to help. I contacted a women's shelter even though I am a man, and they got a protective order by filing it on my behalf in a couple of days. The female judge was very harsh on her and made it so she couldn't be within 500 yards of me for 5 years. The judge told her she would spend 30 days in jail the first time she broke the order and I never heard from the ex again.
You have the documented threats in the form of texts, etc. so it is a slam dunk. Shelters work for everybody not just women. A huge percentage of abusers are women.
Thank you! I'll check out one tomorrow. I have my kids and she gets them back tomorrow. I also have her on tape saying that she will let the kids know what I have done, IE calling the cops on her.
Let her discuss it with the kids but be sure you do not dump it on them. You don't want things to look like you are doing battle with each other through the kids.
She plans to tell my kids all about me... I'm so tired of dealing with her. BTW my kids where scared of the dingdong dithers. It's like I had a right or something to defend my house and my kids that she is mad at.
After I grabbed the kid she told me that she got involed with the other mothers and took care of it. I told her that "I'm glad I got you mothers to start acting like mothers and do you jobs."
Quietly, record everything and keep a chronological record, including the time. Don't provoke or get into a pissing contest. Do you have a lawyer? If so, do not contact him/her until the time is necessary. Lawyers will ring up the bill on you, especially if you are bothersome. You'll soon lose your shirt and savings to him/her in billings. Minimize your contact and reserve the lawyer if you ever need to go into court. Know the following about the court room. It is not your friend. Avoid the courtroom at all costs. It is the lion's den and your last resort... Better than 95% of cases are resolved before going into the courtroom. You never want to wage battle in the court. That is a Hollywood invention and misdirection. It's a big mistake that some gullible individuals do. There is no justice in family courts. So never go to court to have those in black robes resolve your pissing contest. You'll find out very quickly you're at a disadvantage. Courts expect that every possible remedy is attempted before entering into the court room. The magistrate will ask you what you did to resolve your complaint. If you give the judge the impression you didn't attempt to resolve your differences, he'll know you are wasting the court's time and will rule against you with punitive resolve. I once knew a colleague at work who was hyping it up how he was going to court to get his child support reduced. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I told him that he should avoid going to court all together because of the risk of pissing the judge off. There's a vested interest the States have in receiving federal subsidies as a result of child support. it's a 3-to-1 dollar ratio for every dollar of child support they receive. He didn't listen and went ahead to go to court. Afterwards, he didn't talk to me and I found out from other sources that the court ordered his CS to be increased significantly. There was no need to tell him, "I told you so." He learned on his own accord.
The idea is to not piss off your ex-wife, but to pacify and assuage your differences any way you can. Try to find remedy by mediation. The courts expect this. You must do everything that you can to resolve your impasse and differences. For you own benefit, try to minimize your contact with her. Don't egg your ex-wife on to get her to say things. She knows what you're trying to do. It only exasperates an already bad situation. In most cases, this will be deemed by the courts as frivolous due to unresolved acrimonious differences. You are the one at a great disadvantage, especially when an acrimonious relationship is unresolvable. The magistrates job ends up protecting her and not you. When you must communicate with her avoid telephones. Good old fashion letters are best. Use your best respectful language when writing. It is best to try to ask only respectful questions and avoid discussing troublesome issues. This should be used to establish mediation. Avoid using lawyers as mediators or court approved social workers. Lawyers are expensive and social workers are paid friends of the court and typically brain-washed misandrists having biases against men.You have to shop around and find the right qualified individual for the job.
Are there children involved? If so, you already are in an uphill battle. She and the children are considered by the courts being under 'parens patriae' and are considered wards of the State under the government's protection. VAWA is the Act that made this into a giant money-making operation. This makes it that much more important to resolve your differences with your ex-wife.
"She starts all the fights. She is addicted to drama. Would a protective order be a bad thing?"
Chances are that it would impact you and not her. She is a 'ward of the State'. I'll address what this means later, but first try to recognize the mother of your children is analogously wearing a suit of teflon armor. Nothing is going to stick to her. All you are left with is getting along with her. You need to do this the best you can. Sometimes it will take avoiding talking with her....Answer with a letter. Forget texting.... I think it's a bad idea, especially when texts are poorly written and tends to inflame an already bad situation. She will most likely misinterpret your texts and may deny you of seeing your kids on visitation day. The best advice I can give is avoiding 'parental alienation' with your kids. If she denies you from seeing them....just record it and hope the following week it doesn't happen again. Avoid any abusive language and tone. Always be even keeled in front of her. You're going to have to show a long string of abuses before ever going into court. And going there is entering a lion's den. The court may at that time decide to review your child support and rule that you need to pay more. Recognize it for what it is --- It's a big EFF#n money bilking racket. The following is really a sad state of affairs in society. Know that the court does not care about you or your children. They just want the money.
If she has physical custody, it unfortunately means she holds the upper hand. It's very difficult to unseat the female once sole physical custody has been ruled upon. Most of the time the courts give sole physical custody to the mother, despite the original intent of the law wasn't ever suppose to be this way. Without getting into the history and the deceit behind all of this... (I'll address that later), ... the family court system is really a tribunal.... closer to a Star chamber than anything else in American jurisprudence. In Black's Law dictionary, you can get an idea of the long ago adoption of the British Accreditation Registry (BAR) in America. Accordingly, the courts view the female and children as wards of the State; also referred to as a "ward of the court". In many States, a "ward of the state" refers to individuals who are or were incarcerated. To emphasize, incarceration does not make one independent. And “not being independent” is the key phrase to understanding what is meant by being a ward of the state.
The legal definition of 'ward of the state' is:
"infants and persons of unsound mind placed by the court under the care of a guardian".
In legal terms, courts view "defendants" as 'wards of the court'. On the surface it appears as George Orwell's "Animal Farm" dictum in that, "All animal's are equal". This is what they want everyone to believe, but the reality of the family court is that "some animals are more equal than other animals." You will never hear this in court though. This is yet another example of two-tiered justice designed for bilking fathers of their money while holding his children hostage.. It's absolutely true though. This is why you are to be represented by the court officer; ergo, an attorney. Don't be fooled, your attorney ultimately works for the judge in the court room.
This means you are fighting against the State government instead of her. A very good article revealing the history of 'Parens Patriae' is Blair Adams wrote: **WHO OWNS THE CHILDREN? **(subtitled "Public Compulsion, Private Responsibility, and the Dilemma of Ultimate Authority," Waco, Texas: Truth Forum, 1991, Fifth edition). The author examines some of the court cases and legal precedents that shed light on this important question. In his "Preface" he writes:
[A]ccording to the courts of this land, ... "A child is primarily" not his parents' offspring but "a ward of the [S]tate"; ... parents hold relationship he owes allegiance to the government"; ... parents serve as a mere "guardianship" which "the government places [the child] under"; ... parental authority must be "at all times exercised in subordination to the paramount and overruling direction of the [S]tate"; ... "the natural rights of a parent to the custody and control of... his child are subordinate to the power of the [S]tate";... in deciding whether parent or State will control a child's education, the child's academic progress under the parents - even as measured by State-approved tests - has been termed by State prosecutors as "irrelevant and immaterial"; and finally ... such legal principles and policies form the basis of all this nation's compulsory education laws. (pp. Xix-xx)
In Black's Law Dictionary look up Parens Patriae. Parens Patriae means literally, “parent of the country.” It refers traditionally to the role of STATE as sovereign and guardian of persons under legal disability.
With the birth registration established, the federal government, under the doctrine of Parens Patriae, had the mechanism to take over all the assets of the American people and put them into debt into perpetuity. Under this doctrine, if one is born with a disability, the state, (the sovereign) has the responsibility to take care of you. This author believes that the disability you are born with is, in fact, the birth itself.
The attorney bar association has many secrets that they don't want you to know about. It's a big club and you are not part of it.
If the American people actually knew the secrets that the court systems hide, they'd be marching in the streets.
See Corpus Juris Secundum (CJS), Volume 7, Section 4, Attorney & client: The attorney's first duty is to the courts and the public, not to the client, and wherever the duties to his client conflict with those he owes as an officer of the court in the administration of justice, the former must yield to the latter. Clients are also called "wards" of the court in regard to their relationship with their attorneys. After you have read the foregoing, ask your attorney to see a copy of "regarding Lawyer Discipline & other rules" Also Canons 1 through 9.
Lawyers just process their clients through the money bilking operation. The better lawyers make you think it was money well spent.
One last thing.... Do you pay your child support directly to her or do you pay it to DHS (government)? There's no getting out of CS when you're already in the government system. Every dollar of child support is tied to three dollars of federal subsidies to the State. They want their money.
I haven't had time to fully read your response. I thank you for the information and will ingest it. I will read it all in the AM. You seem to have knowledge I don't but there are somethings that don't apply in your response. No offense it, it's just a different than normal divorce. Thank you.
I have 50/50 with her, one week with my kids then she gets the next week.
We had an MSA. The court isn't able to change it. Which I think she thought that they would give her child support but it was in the MSA that there is no child or spouse support.
I did pay $1500 to her a month after the divorce for one year, but that was direct payments via bank transfers(so that I had a record of it). I only did that because I knew she was used to a certain life style and would blow it all. Hence her asking her dad for rent money.
If she can't pay her own rent, does that play into my side of things? She can't afford to be a mother.
When you have time, go ahead and read the rest of what I wrote. You must understand that there is a trillion dollar industry dealing with marital dissolution and child custody. You want to stay out of the government snare.
"If she can't pay her own rent, does that play into my side of things? She can't afford to be a mother."
It could depending on the terms and conditions of your marital settlement agreement. Who presided over the MSA?
If it was a judge/magistrate, I'm questioning how the MSA was set up. Again, it depends on the terms and conditions. If there is no clause for remedying disagreements, then ostensibly she can sue for ameliorating the agreement. An unworkable agreement is no agreement. Your second question is that the family courts, through legal precedent, view the male, not her, as the financial obligator to raise those children. Typically, the mother is the one that has sole physical custody. It's something like 90% of the time.
Since you have a joint physical custody, that'a a very good situation. However, you need to protect this at all costs. It sounds like she is trying to change that. I'll tell you this. With women, there are many influences (mom, sister, friends, etc.) that will 'advise' her to take you to court. One of the pathways is through unsolvable disagreements. It's sounds like she might be on this path. The inside skinny on family attorneys is that their profits are far greater from acrimonious marital relationships than for easily resolvable cases. The more fighting, the more they profit. This goes on long after the dissolution papers have been drafted and issued until the kids are well in their teens. You have a really good deal and don't want any surprise motions to the court to happen. You said the following:
"I did pay $1500 to her a month after the divorce for one year, but that was direct payments via bank transfers(so that I had a record of it). I only did that because I knew she was used to a certain life style and would blow it all. Hence her asking her dad for rent money."
Could this be the issue at hand? She doesn't have money for the rent? Does her parents believe you should help her out financially? May be through a mutual friend you should ask her about it. The question is, What can you do to resolve the issues she has?
The most important thing you must do is to mitigate the fighting. You want to have a good relationship for your sake and your children.
I would consider where you live in addition to researching past court cases regarding family cases in your area. Talk to people, some good hearted lawyers may give you good advice without them lying just to get your $. Call around. See what they say. They almost always give free consultations. You're a smart man, I'm sure you can tell if they are bullshitting you or not just to get your business.
I can read con artists like a book. I talked to a lawyer once and I knew he was full of shit and just wanted my money. If you meet them in person for a consultation you can watch their body language and can tell if they are in it just for cash.
Regarding text messages, there are ways to save them off the phone. Also, your phone carrier should have your history, if you've ever deleted any. I would consider them vitally important if I were you and do everything to preserve them.
Not a lawyer but I hope you get an answer from one tonight. What you've said sure seems to me to be plenty to get a retraining order / protective order against her and maybe even go after her for the slander and threats. What a terrible situation to be in. So sorry you're having to deal with this. I'll pray that God helps you in this mess. So many women are just vicious, mentally ill liars.
Restraining order is definitely key here, it will also serve as a paper trail of bad behavior on her part and will go a long ways towards keeping you safe. People have killed for lesser things. Definitely invest in Ring cameras and personal defense items. Don't underestimate her dad. You have no idea what she told him.
Any chance you can up-stakes and move away? I know that's not always easy, but neither is facing death threats, etc. Just wondering if it was an option for you.
If you recorded her saying "Maybe I did say that my father did" but it was someone else, that is a admission of guilt.
The text with "Daddy scared you" confirms she threatened you with violence.
You need a protection order but also your ex and her father need to be brought in for questioning.
A police record could protect you from a future character assassination, everything needs to be documented. If it is documented she threatened to kill you, future statements from her will carry less weight.
Harsh my mellow kek. Sounds like a handful; ill bet you have been enjoying a little peace by yourself. God bless you fren we're praying for your peace of mind ✌️. Sounds like the text messages are perfect evidence of obvious threats. Keep in mind though that her threats are probably going to sound stupid as hell to whoever hears them. If you're known at all in town maybe give folks a heads-up. You're going to be a-okay bro.
I've done this before. What happens is that she will start texting my folks and tell them stuff like; "If VaxIsGreatReset doesn't pick up then the kids can't come to your 50th wedding anniversary." or text me "If you don't pick up then I'm going to call CPS."
Seen far too many Marriages blow up and the divorces turn ugly. That’s it’s turned me off the idea as a whole. Only marriage I’ve seen turn out well. Has been my parents. Friends, coworkers, and other people I know. Are either single, Divorced with nasty breakups, or married and utterly miserable.
My Sisters are all married. And it seems to be happy marriages. But I can’t reliably verify what their like when not around family.
While I’m afraid I can’t offer legal help or advice. Other then you should really, really, really only be interacting through a lawyer. Regardless of the elapsed time from the Divorce. As otherwise it becomes a “He said, she said” game. And the courts normally favor the Woman’s version of events regardless of evidence.
And a word of warning that frankly recordings probably aren’t going to be considered a silver bullet for much longer in legal proceedings. With all the AI shit that’s out for faking recordings and videos. So if you plan on using it. Do it sooner rather than later.
Thanks for reinforcing my decision to never get married. Far too many crazy bitches out there these days.
I was trapped. She told my Sister, one night when she was drunk that she got off birth control to trap me. Of course she was blackout drunk while doing so.
She is a liberal and told me that I wanted to abort my 1st borne. I'm against any abortion so the idea is laughable but it hurts to hear her say so.
She makes up lies and repeats them to herself so much that she believes them.
Wouldn’t be the first dude to get Baby trapped with another man’s kids. If she’s still harassing you even after the paperwork is filed. For one she seems like the sort who’d be crazy enough to cheat on you and convince herself it’s your fault she’s a whore. Two she’s probably trying to get a reaction out of you for whatever reason.
And again. Really look into a lawyer to handle any and all communications with her. It’ll probably be expensive. But it’ll be better odds of keeping you out of legal trouble. And she may quit if she’s not able to get to you directly and thus isn’t able to get the reaction she wants.
You mentioned kids? Is the Baby still at home or moved out? For your sake I hope the kids moved out of the house. Because If your in any sort of split Custody or you somehow wrangled full Custody. She’ll probably be more then willing to get at you through the child. Probably with abuse complaints. Either Anonymous or she’ll coach the kid if they are young enough to level accusations.
So if you do go manage any sort of protective order. She’ll probably try that route. And that can open the door to an utter shitshow. That’s of course assuming she’s really out to make your life hard. And isn’t some weird form of bullying she’ll give up on once she can’t get a reaction from you.
And again. A Lawyer to handle communications might be good in the future.
50/50 custody of a 13m and 11f. My boy is smart enough not to fall for her shit.
I haven't had a paternity test. My boy looks just like me. My daughter looks like she came from me as well but more like her mother. I'll look into this, but at this point I wouldn't give up custody because they are my children and even if both of them weren't from me, I'd still raise them. I couldn't let her poison their minds. I love them to much.
I had an ex that did many threatening and harassing things to me, but she performed work for the state's social services, so the cops and prosecutor were not willing to help. I contacted a women's shelter even though I am a man, and they got a protective order by filing it on my behalf in a couple of days. The female judge was very harsh on her and made it so she couldn't be within 500 yards of me for 5 years. The judge told her she would spend 30 days in jail the first time she broke the order and I never heard from the ex again.
Good for you. Too many women are evil nutjobs.
Good job!
Sounds like a dream.
She like the MSA(Mediated Steal Agreement) process so much that she became a person that does MSAs.
She has texted me that she knows Judges and Lawyer as friends now. There is no way that she became friends with them as quickly as she suggests.
I just want to know if the death threat extension would be enough. I also was the one that filed for divorce.
You have the documented threats in the form of texts, etc. so it is a slam dunk. Shelters work for everybody not just women. A huge percentage of abusers are women.
Thank you! I'll check out one tomorrow. I have my kids and she gets them back tomorrow. I also have her on tape saying that she will let the kids know what I have done, IE calling the cops on her.
Let her discuss it with the kids but be sure you do not dump it on them. You don't want things to look like you are doing battle with each other through the kids.
She plans to tell my kids all about me... I'm so tired of dealing with her. BTW my kids where scared of the dingdong dithers. It's like I had a right or something to defend my house and my kids that she is mad at.
After I grabbed the kid she told me that she got involed with the other mothers and took care of it. I told her that "I'm glad I got you mothers to start acting like mothers and do you jobs."
Quietly, record everything and keep a chronological record, including the time. Don't provoke or get into a pissing contest. Do you have a lawyer? If so, do not contact him/her until the time is necessary. Lawyers will ring up the bill on you, especially if you are bothersome. You'll soon lose your shirt and savings to him/her in billings. Minimize your contact and reserve the lawyer if you ever need to go into court. Know the following about the court room. It is not your friend. Avoid the courtroom at all costs. It is the lion's den and your last resort... Better than 95% of cases are resolved before going into the courtroom. You never want to wage battle in the court. That is a Hollywood invention and misdirection. It's a big mistake that some gullible individuals do. There is no justice in family courts. So never go to court to have those in black robes resolve your pissing contest. You'll find out very quickly you're at a disadvantage. Courts expect that every possible remedy is attempted before entering into the court room. The magistrate will ask you what you did to resolve your complaint. If you give the judge the impression you didn't attempt to resolve your differences, he'll know you are wasting the court's time and will rule against you with punitive resolve. I once knew a colleague at work who was hyping it up how he was going to court to get his child support reduced. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I told him that he should avoid going to court all together because of the risk of pissing the judge off. There's a vested interest the States have in receiving federal subsidies as a result of child support. it's a 3-to-1 dollar ratio for every dollar of child support they receive. He didn't listen and went ahead to go to court. Afterwards, he didn't talk to me and I found out from other sources that the court ordered his CS to be increased significantly. There was no need to tell him, "I told you so." He learned on his own accord.
The idea is to not piss off your ex-wife, but to pacify and assuage your differences any way you can. Try to find remedy by mediation. The courts expect this. You must do everything that you can to resolve your impasse and differences. For you own benefit, try to minimize your contact with her. Don't egg your ex-wife on to get her to say things. She knows what you're trying to do. It only exasperates an already bad situation. In most cases, this will be deemed by the courts as frivolous due to unresolved acrimonious differences. You are the one at a great disadvantage, especially when an acrimonious relationship is unresolvable. The magistrates job ends up protecting her and not you. When you must communicate with her avoid telephones. Good old fashion letters are best. Use your best respectful language when writing. It is best to try to ask only respectful questions and avoid discussing troublesome issues. This should be used to establish mediation. Avoid using lawyers as mediators or court approved social workers. Lawyers are expensive and social workers are paid friends of the court and typically brain-washed misandrists having biases against men.You have to shop around and find the right qualified individual for the job.
Are there children involved? If so, you already are in an uphill battle. She and the children are considered by the courts being under 'parens patriae' and are considered wards of the State under the government's protection. VAWA is the Act that made this into a giant money-making operation. This makes it that much more important to resolve your differences with your ex-wife.
There are kids 13m and 11f. So I'm going to have deal with this woman for at least 7 & half more years.
She starts all the fights. She is addicted to drama.
Would a protective order be a bad thing? I just don't want to have to talk to her but she goes 'crazy' on the text messages.
Thanks for explaining what you did. I knew the courts love women and children more than men but I didn't know to the extent you explained.
I just want the harassment to stop.
Chances are that it would impact you and not her. She is a 'ward of the State'. I'll address what this means later, but first try to recognize the mother of your children is analogously wearing a suit of teflon armor. Nothing is going to stick to her. All you are left with is getting along with her. You need to do this the best you can. Sometimes it will take avoiding talking with her....Answer with a letter. Forget texting.... I think it's a bad idea, especially when texts are poorly written and tends to inflame an already bad situation. She will most likely misinterpret your texts and may deny you of seeing your kids on visitation day. The best advice I can give is avoiding 'parental alienation' with your kids. If she denies you from seeing them....just record it and hope the following week it doesn't happen again. Avoid any abusive language and tone. Always be even keeled in front of her. You're going to have to show a long string of abuses before ever going into court. And going there is entering a lion's den. The court may at that time decide to review your child support and rule that you need to pay more. Recognize it for what it is --- It's a big EFF#n money bilking racket. The following is really a sad state of affairs in society. Know that the court does not care about you or your children. They just want the money.
If she has physical custody, it unfortunately means she holds the upper hand. It's very difficult to unseat the female once sole physical custody has been ruled upon. Most of the time the courts give sole physical custody to the mother, despite the original intent of the law wasn't ever suppose to be this way. Without getting into the history and the deceit behind all of this... (I'll address that later), ... the family court system is really a tribunal.... closer to a Star chamber than anything else in American jurisprudence. In Black's Law dictionary, you can get an idea of the long ago adoption of the British Accreditation Registry (BAR) in America. Accordingly, the courts view the female and children as wards of the State; also referred to as a "ward of the court". In many States, a "ward of the state" refers to individuals who are or were incarcerated. To emphasize, incarceration does not make one independent. And “not being independent” is the key phrase to understanding what is meant by being a ward of the state.
The legal definition of 'ward of the state' is:
"infants and persons of unsound mind placed by the court under the care of a guardian".
In legal terms, courts view "defendants" as 'wards of the court'. On the surface it appears as George Orwell's "Animal Farm" dictum in that, "All animal's are equal". This is what they want everyone to believe, but the reality of the family court is that "some animals are more equal than other animals." You will never hear this in court though. This is yet another example of two-tiered justice designed for bilking fathers of their money while holding his children hostage.. It's absolutely true though. This is why you are to be represented by the court officer; ergo, an attorney. Don't be fooled, your attorney ultimately works for the judge in the court room.
This means you are fighting against the State government instead of her. A very good article revealing the history of 'Parens Patriae' is Blair Adams wrote: **WHO OWNS THE CHILDREN? **(subtitled "Public Compulsion, Private Responsibility, and the Dilemma of Ultimate Authority," Waco, Texas: Truth Forum, 1991, Fifth edition). The author examines some of the court cases and legal precedents that shed light on this important question. In his "Preface" he writes:
[A]ccording to the courts of this land, ... "A child is primarily" not his parents' offspring but "a ward of the [S]tate"; ... parents hold relationship he owes allegiance to the government"; ... parents serve as a mere "guardianship" which "the government places [the child] under"; ... parental authority must be "at all times exercised in subordination to the paramount and overruling direction of the [S]tate"; ... "the natural rights of a parent to the custody and control of... his child are subordinate to the power of the [S]tate";... in deciding whether parent or State will control a child's education, the child's academic progress under the parents - even as measured by State-approved tests - has been termed by State prosecutors as "irrelevant and immaterial"; and finally ... such legal principles and policies form the basis of all this nation's compulsory education laws. (pp. Xix-xx)
http://voluntaryist.com/backissues/059.pdf
In Black's Law Dictionary look up Parens Patriae. Parens Patriae means literally, “parent of the country.” It refers traditionally to the role of STATE as sovereign and guardian of persons under legal disability.
With the birth registration established, the federal government, under the doctrine of Parens Patriae, had the mechanism to take over all the assets of the American people and put them into debt into perpetuity. Under this doctrine, if one is born with a disability, the state, (the sovereign) has the responsibility to take care of you. This author believes that the disability you are born with is, in fact, the birth itself.
The attorney bar association has many secrets that they don't want you to know about. It's a big club and you are not part of it.
If the American people actually knew the secrets that the court systems hide, they'd be marching in the streets.
SEVEN ELEMENTS OF JURISDICTION
See Corpus Juris Secundum (CJS), Volume 7, Section 4, Attorney & client: The attorney's first duty is to the courts and the public, not to the client, and wherever the duties to his client conflict with those he owes as an officer of the court in the administration of justice, the former must yield to the latter. Clients are also called "wards" of the court in regard to their relationship with their attorneys. After you have read the foregoing, ask your attorney to see a copy of "regarding Lawyer Discipline & other rules" Also Canons 1 through 9.
Lawyers just process their clients through the money bilking operation. The better lawyers make you think it was money well spent.
One last thing.... Do you pay your child support directly to her or do you pay it to DHS (government)? There's no getting out of CS when you're already in the government system. Every dollar of child support is tied to three dollars of federal subsidies to the State. They want their money.
I haven't had time to fully read your response. I thank you for the information and will ingest it. I will read it all in the AM. You seem to have knowledge I don't but there are somethings that don't apply in your response. No offense it, it's just a different than normal divorce. Thank you.
I have 50/50 with her, one week with my kids then she gets the next week.
We had an MSA. The court isn't able to change it. Which I think she thought that they would give her child support but it was in the MSA that there is no child or spouse support.
I did pay $1500 to her a month after the divorce for one year, but that was direct payments via bank transfers(so that I had a record of it). I only did that because I knew she was used to a certain life style and would blow it all. Hence her asking her dad for rent money.
If she can't pay her own rent, does that play into my side of things? She can't afford to be a mother.
When you have time, go ahead and read the rest of what I wrote. You must understand that there is a trillion dollar industry dealing with marital dissolution and child custody. You want to stay out of the government snare.
"If she can't pay her own rent, does that play into my side of things? She can't afford to be a mother."
It could depending on the terms and conditions of your marital settlement agreement. Who presided over the MSA?
If it was a judge/magistrate, I'm questioning how the MSA was set up. Again, it depends on the terms and conditions. If there is no clause for remedying disagreements, then ostensibly she can sue for ameliorating the agreement. An unworkable agreement is no agreement. Your second question is that the family courts, through legal precedent, view the male, not her, as the financial obligator to raise those children. Typically, the mother is the one that has sole physical custody. It's something like 90% of the time.
Since you have a joint physical custody, that'a a very good situation. However, you need to protect this at all costs. It sounds like she is trying to change that. I'll tell you this. With women, there are many influences (mom, sister, friends, etc.) that will 'advise' her to take you to court. One of the pathways is through unsolvable disagreements. It's sounds like she might be on this path. The inside skinny on family attorneys is that their profits are far greater from acrimonious marital relationships than for easily resolvable cases. The more fighting, the more they profit. This goes on long after the dissolution papers have been drafted and issued until the kids are well in their teens. You have a really good deal and don't want any surprise motions to the court to happen. You said the following:
"I did pay $1500 to her a month after the divorce for one year, but that was direct payments via bank transfers(so that I had a record of it). I only did that because I knew she was used to a certain life style and would blow it all. Hence her asking her dad for rent money."
Could this be the issue at hand? She doesn't have money for the rent? Does her parents believe you should help her out financially? May be through a mutual friend you should ask her about it. The question is, What can you do to resolve the issues she has?
The most important thing you must do is to mitigate the fighting. You want to have a good relationship for your sake and your children.
I would consider where you live in addition to researching past court cases regarding family cases in your area. Talk to people, some good hearted lawyers may give you good advice without them lying just to get your $. Call around. See what they say. They almost always give free consultations. You're a smart man, I'm sure you can tell if they are bullshitting you or not just to get your business.
I can read con artists like a book. I talked to a lawyer once and I knew he was full of shit and just wanted my money. If you meet them in person for a consultation you can watch their body language and can tell if they are in it just for cash.
Regarding text messages, there are ways to save them off the phone. Also, your phone carrier should have your history, if you've ever deleted any. I would consider them vitally important if I were you and do everything to preserve them.
Not a lawyer but I hope you get an answer from one tonight. What you've said sure seems to me to be plenty to get a retraining order / protective order against her and maybe even go after her for the slander and threats. What a terrible situation to be in. So sorry you're having to deal with this. I'll pray that God helps you in this mess. So many women are just vicious, mentally ill liars.
Restraining order is definitely key here, it will also serve as a paper trail of bad behavior on her part and will go a long ways towards keeping you safe. People have killed for lesser things. Definitely invest in Ring cameras and personal defense items. Don't underestimate her dad. You have no idea what she told him.
I have a camera on the door.
I have guns near by me ever since.
Her dad lives in another state but has money enough to fly 1st class here at the drop of a hat.
That's exactly true. No idea what she might have said against her ex-husband that isn't even true, but would infuriate a father. Good point.
I'm also scared of the small town people that know who I am, yet don't know me as a person. She could be calling for my death.
Any chance you can up-stakes and move away? I know that's not always easy, but neither is facing death threats, etc. Just wondering if it was an option for you.
I would go to the police.
If you recorded her saying "Maybe I did say that my father did" but it was someone else, that is a admission of guilt.
The text with "Daddy scared you" confirms she threatened you with violence.
You need a protection order but also your ex and her father need to be brought in for questioning.
A police record could protect you from a future character assassination, everything needs to be documented. If it is documented she threatened to kill you, future statements from her will carry less weight.
I'm taking it to the Police today! I was really just wondering if it her passing along a death threat was the same as making the death threat.
I'm just so sick of dealing with her.
Please let us know how it goes with the police. Hopefully they will be very helpful.
Going back in the AM. I will. Thank you
Best of luck.
I'll pray for you to have wisdom, favor, and that the schemes are exposed.
Now, I can't help but wonder where she is on the "Crazy/Hot" matrix?
https://youtu.be/R_USJCTIgs4
LOL "It's like a dope chart"
She was in the Date Zone. But the years have put her in either the No Go or Danger Zone.
Thanks for the laughs.
Harsh my mellow kek. Sounds like a handful; ill bet you have been enjoying a little peace by yourself. God bless you fren we're praying for your peace of mind ✌️. Sounds like the text messages are perfect evidence of obvious threats. Keep in mind though that her threats are probably going to sound stupid as hell to whoever hears them. If you're known at all in town maybe give folks a heads-up. You're going to be a-okay bro.
Just chill.
Maybe get a new phone number or just block her.
If you live in a smaller town, people know you both and know who the crazy one is.
Per the divorce decree I can't block her.
Divorce decrees also prohibit threatening and abusive behavior. Get the protection order and be sure police reports are filed for documentation.
Will do!
You don't have to answer it,in a timely fashion.
Text back "can't talk right now, what's up?"
I've done this before. What happens is that she will start texting my folks and tell them stuff like; "If VaxIsGreatReset doesn't pick up then the kids can't come to your 50th wedding anniversary." or text me "If you don't pick up then I'm going to call CPS."
Hi fren
I've removed this as off topic now. It's been up 9 hours, I hope you have had some useful advice.
May your situation resolve safely and peacefully and may your ex-wife find her inner peace.
Thanks. I just had to tell someone. It's painful. Apologies for the off topic comment.
Semper Fi & NCSWIC Nothing!
O7 fren!
You can always bring anything off-topic to the daily post.
Change your name and move to Albuquerque.
We have kids and the MSA says we can't move outside of adjacent counties.
But would her behavior and threats of violence allow a change in that order? Seems it could be possible.
I don't want to take the kids away from her. I just want her to stop the harassment.
Seen far too many Marriages blow up and the divorces turn ugly. That’s it’s turned me off the idea as a whole. Only marriage I’ve seen turn out well. Has been my parents. Friends, coworkers, and other people I know. Are either single, Divorced with nasty breakups, or married and utterly miserable.
My Sisters are all married. And it seems to be happy marriages. But I can’t reliably verify what their like when not around family.
While I’m afraid I can’t offer legal help or advice. Other then you should really, really, really only be interacting through a lawyer. Regardless of the elapsed time from the Divorce. As otherwise it becomes a “He said, she said” game. And the courts normally favor the Woman’s version of events regardless of evidence.
And a word of warning that frankly recordings probably aren’t going to be considered a silver bullet for much longer in legal proceedings. With all the AI shit that’s out for faking recordings and videos. So if you plan on using it. Do it sooner rather than later.
Thanks for reinforcing my decision to never get married. Far too many crazy bitches out there these days.
I was trapped. She told my Sister, one night when she was drunk that she got off birth control to trap me. Of course she was blackout drunk while doing so.
She is a liberal and told me that I wanted to abort my 1st borne. I'm against any abortion so the idea is laughable but it hurts to hear her say so.
She makes up lies and repeats them to herself so much that she believes them.
Did you get a paternity test?
Wouldn’t be the first dude to get Baby trapped with another man’s kids. If she’s still harassing you even after the paperwork is filed. For one she seems like the sort who’d be crazy enough to cheat on you and convince herself it’s your fault she’s a whore. Two she’s probably trying to get a reaction out of you for whatever reason.
And again. Really look into a lawyer to handle any and all communications with her. It’ll probably be expensive. But it’ll be better odds of keeping you out of legal trouble. And she may quit if she’s not able to get to you directly and thus isn’t able to get the reaction she wants.
You mentioned kids? Is the Baby still at home or moved out? For your sake I hope the kids moved out of the house. Because If your in any sort of split Custody or you somehow wrangled full Custody. She’ll probably be more then willing to get at you through the child. Probably with abuse complaints. Either Anonymous or she’ll coach the kid if they are young enough to level accusations.
So if you do go manage any sort of protective order. She’ll probably try that route. And that can open the door to an utter shitshow. That’s of course assuming she’s really out to make your life hard. And isn’t some weird form of bullying she’ll give up on once she can’t get a reaction from you.
And again. A Lawyer to handle communications might be good in the future.
50/50 custody of a 13m and 11f. My boy is smart enough not to fall for her shit.
I haven't had a paternity test. My boy looks just like me. My daughter looks like she came from me as well but more like her mother. I'll look into this, but at this point I wouldn't give up custody because they are my children and even if both of them weren't from me, I'd still raise them. I couldn't let her poison their minds. I love them to much.