Hi GAW, its taken me a while to write this, its hard not to write paragraph after paragraph.
But I really need prayers. I've been trying to leave an abusive relationship for months now, but, whenever I would try, my partner would have full blown CPTSD flashbacks and strobbing, full mental breakdowns, and then have side effects for days after (he has Catholic priest trauma, the main reason I never just up and left cold turkey).
But now he is homeless, and living with me and my family (I am legally disabled, so I was staying with my family until I got my backpay to get back on my feet, and being with him has drained all of it. So now we are BOTH living with my parents and siblings)
Its gotten to the point where he is having full blown seizures every day, can not work anymore, and he's become more abusive than ever, leading me to self harm, which has actually caused him to become even MORE abusive(this isn't even mentioning his AI hallucination work..).
I would have left him on the spot, but I was trying to get him set up with a place before I left him, because he has a daughter he only sees every other weekend, so I don't want to leave him homeless, without a job, having seizures, and no way to see his daughter.. But..
He truly has been a horrible person to me, is completely ungrateful, wants me to abandon my family that has constantly helped us and given us money, and this isn't even going over how he has, multiple times, had massive screaming fits at me, that Trump is controlled opposition, Q is controlled opposition, and I'm stupid if I think any of this is real, and that Trump is orchestrating his family, to inherit whatever is left of the Earth, after he destroys it.
I see no good way out of this, that isn't by the grace of God, and God's hand working it out, so I ask for your prayers that I'm able to leave this relationship, with minimal fallout. Thank you GAW. This is truly the only place I feel safe and sane.
Prayers up.
If you can swing it…get counseling asap. Find one who specializes in abuse. Lots of over-the-phone therapists nowadays. Many therapists have openings for low income and will work with you. Or get counseling at church.
One thing they will teach you is…you are not responsible for another’s life, choices, reactions or behaviors. Forgive me for being harsh…but you say he is leading you to self harm. Stop it now. Do you think God wants you to stay in an abusive relationship? Do you think God wants you to hurt yourself because of it?
You see no way out of this but the grace of God. Sometimes the grace of God comes in the form of a therapist or doctor or pastor. You can’t “save” him…especially while he’s actively trying to drown you. You need help. Get some.
Thank you, even if you feel your words are harsh, they are firm, and I understand.
Cousneling has been a big sticking point between us. He has told me repeatedly he won't "let me break up with him", if I don't go to therapy, but he has repeatedly told me to "keep my name out of your mouth" if I do go to counseling. He has claimed he's open to couple's counseling, but wants one he "trusts", but we conveniently don't have the money for it now.
I'll look into some phone or online based ones. I can't drive with my disability, so I'm pretty homebound and unable to go to church most of the time, unfortunately. It's why I value online communities like this.
I appreciate it, I have a few numbers for some help lines, it's just getting the courage to call them. Thank you🫂
Just a note on this. Joint counselling is something to be wary of in an abusive relationship. Abusers sometimes abuse this process. If you look for counsellors it might be better to go alone.
Mine picked the fight with me on the way to the counselor so I was upset when we got there.So he could say, how overly emotional I was. You ain't lyin.
The tell is him saying "he won't let you". Does he control you? Sure sounds like it. But that can only happen if you let him. In truth, you have the power to say no. You also have the power to seek a court order against him. Your excuse is you're waiting to make his life better. Face it, that will never happen. The truth is you're scared shitless of what he might do. All the more reason to seek a protection from abuse order. You're a victim of your own inaction. Quit fooling yourself thinking there is something for you in a continued relationship, or for him. The quicker it's made clear to him that it's over the better. You might be disabled but you're not without recourse.
🙏 Praying for your own health and safety. May God see you through this time to better times, and make your transition smoother than you can imagine. Stay strong and hold on to your faith. God bless. 🙏
Agreeing with you in this prayer!
Thank you, 🫂🙏
Please turn these problems over to God 100%. Sit quietly and tell God that you need to hear him telling you what you need to know and do. Your answers will come. Stay righteous as you find the path that is best for you both.
Jesus I pray she will hear you with all of her faith as I am able to do, and help her on this path, temporary as it may be. In Jesus name I pray for you.
Thank you, I honestly pray a lot to God, but it all feels very overwhelming sometimes. But I've been feeling a little push to post a prayer request to GAW for a while now, and I'm thankful I did.
I feel more.. spiritually, if that makes sense? Like I feel God's presence a little closer than before.
I'm taking it one day at a time, and trusting that God has laid the path for me. When going through Hell, you just keep going, right?
Thank you for the prayers🫂
When I am struggling with any issues, not as great as yours, I say this prayer. It is the Serenity Prayer. I pray that God guides you to make the best decision not only for yourself but also your family.
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
Thank you for reminding me of this prayer, I remember hearing my mother say it when I was little and things weren't always going great.
I appreciate it🙏, taking it one day at a time is all I can do at the moment.
Prayers on the way fren.
Thank you🫂
🙏🙏🙏🙏
🙏🙏🙏
Hi fren.
May you be safe and happy and may your partner's health improve. May he find better strategies in life than abusing people.
By the way, years ago, I came across a book by Lundy Bancroft called "Why Does He Do That?" It's about abusive relationships and it might give you insights or strategies. I hope it doesn't come over as patronising that I have mentioned a book. I don't mean it that way.
You're not patronizing at all, I appreciate the book recommendation, thank you 🫂, I'm always looking for resources to help cope.
You're welcome fren.
This situation is quite common and people often don't see it coming. Over time it can warp people's understanding of what's acceptable.
“Over time it can warp people’s understanding of what is acceptable.”
This…. ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼
Christian counselor, not secular. They will dismiss anything religious.
Not Cath. They will want you to work your way out of it.
Took me almost 50 yrs to be shed of the lingering disease that CSA leaves. June 2, 2022 healed.
I prayed for death. I had self-loathing, self-isolation, agoraphobia, paranoia, fear of betrayal, spontaneous crying. I broke. Losing career due to retina disease abruptly was the last straw. Many many traumas. This is not about me....its about tbe Grace and Mercy of Jesus Christ that took it all away in one fell swoop that night.
I could go no lower. It's different for everyone. I will fervently pray for you both. Its all i've got. I love you both. I cry for him, although I'm a tough, testosterone-infused, reckless abandon 63 yr old in a 24 yr old body. Deep, deep scars, although healed, thry are sensitive and sympathetic.
There is no worse thing a child can experience. More than death...i know...both of my siblings, older twin bros, both suicided. One when evil demon Mason next door got me in 3rd grade. Other 9 yrs later. Horrific guilt ensued.
There is a new life awaiting in His arms. I am in perpetual awe at my new life...in color, family back and always joyful...not always happy, but joyful. There is hope.
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and be constant in prayer.
What a Powerful testimony of God's grace and power plus your personal resilience. Thanks for sharing.
Dear Heavenly Father, please, please help StanceDancing with this complicated situation. No one should be abused. Please let her husband get the help he needs and his daughter the strength and understanding to properly handle this situation. Please let SD heal and find happiness and success. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Hallelujah amen.
I'm praying for you. I pray that God will show you the way of escape and that He will give you peace while doing it.
Thank you🫂
Prayers sent- and I thought it might help you and/or your partner to share some instructions from Praying Medic about a method he's put out for emotional healing. Here are the basic steps I use for healing simple emotional trauma:
An optional step is asking Jesus to give you a positive emotion when He removes a negative one. Ask Him to give you joy when He removes sadness, love when he removes hate, or acceptance when he removes a feeling of rejection.
After you’ve done this once, recall the event again and see if a negative emotion remains. If so, it will likely not be the same emotion, but a different emotion related to the event. Work through that negative emotion by repeating the steps.
... If a negative emotion is not present, you are healed of the trauma from that event. Consider starting the process again using a different event that evokes a negative emotion. Continue using this process until all t he trauma during your life has been healed.
If you are troubled by a negative emotion such as guilt, shame or anger but cannot recall an event associated with it, omit step number one from the list above.
Jesus, I ask you to take this (emotion), and heal the wound in my soul. I receive your healing.
Prayer sent
🙏Thank you
For your own peace of mind, please find a way to leave quickly.
I am praying over you
If it's physical abuse, just go to the police asap !
Is everything okay Anon? Here to help.
DM’d you to help.