Keith Olberman dies and, of course, goes directly to hell. He meets Satan, who says, "How ya doin"?"
Keith says, well, I guess I'm having a bad day. Not only did I die, but I went straight to hell.
Satan says, oh it's not that bad down here. We have themes everyday for having fun. Let me ask you, when you were alive, did you enjoy having sex? Keith responds, oh yeah, young boys especially. Satan: well, you're going to love it down here, every Monday is "sodomize young boys" day". Keith smiles.
What about cigarettes, did you ever enjoy smoking while you were alive? Keith: sure, up until my wife's boyfriend made me quit, I used to love to smoke. Satan, well you're going to love Tuesdays. Smoke all you want, no consequences, no one bitching at you.
How about drugs...did you ever partake in drugs while you were alive? K: Oh, for sure, every chance I could get. S: well, you're going to love Wednesday's then. We've got it all, PCP, LSD, heroin, Crack, meth, you name it. Do all you want with no consequences on Wednesday.
How about butt play? Did you ever like to have things shoved up your ass when you were alive? Keith stammers...no. not so much.
Ooh. I'm sorry to hear that. You're really going to hate Thursdays.
Triple updoot if I could
Thanks for the kind mention, but all credit goes to u/HenryBowman1984.
I can't say I've ever heard the term "conspiracy therapist" before, and I see how it fits for this post as these items are therapeutic, to be sure.
But, I think that term has far more potential. It's such a great comeback phrase for people who use the term "conspiracy theorist". Better than saying, "no, I'm a spoiler alertist" when people tell you that you are a conspiracy theorist.
In other words, when someone says "you are a conspiracy theorist" you can rebut by saying, "no, I'm a conspiracy therapist".
You can add (optional), "it's a sad truth, but people in power do conspire, so many of those theories are proven true. I'm here to help you separate the true ones from the fake ones, and I'm here to help you cope with the real ones."
By saying you are a conspiracy therapist, you easily and immediately enter the premise that the existence of conspiracies are a given fact. It also establishes you as an expert with knowledge. Both of these are subtle rhetorical devices.
Plus, it is easy to see how this retort could take the place of antonym in language use. Sort of like how Pro Life has become the antonym to Pro Choice.
Thanks, fren, for coining this term. We should all start using it. It's taking the place of my go-to response.
Somebody give that patriot a coat!
I am thrilled for your wife, and your family should all be commended. However, Type 2 diabetes is different than Type 1 diabetes to be clear. Type 2, like the kind your wife was diagnosed with, is a lifestyle disease. Type 1 is autoimmune, where the body's own immune system attacks the insulin-producing pancreas, rendering it useless. T1D cannot be avoided with lifestyle choices nor treated with lifestyle choices. I knew none of this until I had to know, and I wish I never had to know. My daughter is fine now but the disease robbed her of her childhood. Peace and love to all of you frens on this board.
Injectable insulin is not a bad thing. It is a miracle life support therapy for people living with Type 1 diabetes, and can extend their lives up to normal life expectancy, for an auto-immune disease that used to be a 1 year death sentence.
I will say, though, that the incidence of T1D in the general population has increased over the past 100 years, due to "environmental" factors, they suspect. They can't tell which factors, but I suspect vaccines may very well be one of them. Poisoned food doesn't help, either.
"hate speech"...what a ruse. Hate speech is free speech. If you don't like it, ignore it or confront it, but it is protected under the supreme law of the land, so if you don't like it, go back to being a serf or subject in the country your ancestors came from.
edit: comment not directed at you u/blokeymcblokeface
lol just saw this after posting similar comment. Great minds think alike
And please make a mobile phone in the same vein, too. Amen.
END THE FED
VP pick!!!
You need to get yourself some wife-canceling headphones
We're about to see that happen irl
Refresh my memory, but the original swearing in of the president of the United States was in early March, right? the same day Xiden is supposed to give his SOTU? Will we see Trump getting sworn in instead?
Freedom boner in the house!
Blackrock wins again!
I'm sure there would be jai lime for someone who defended themselves against such an attack.
I sure wish they'd RICO that Soros cash and give it to trafficking victims
- Private planes protesting global warning frozen on the runways at Davos.
I love your posts
With all due respect to my Jewish friends, and I mean that, Judaism = an eye for an eye. Christianity = turn the other cheek. Judaism perpetuates hate, Christianity promotes forgiveness. That's an easy choice for how I want to live my life. Eternal anger versus eternal peace. I'll choose the latter.
I've seen those eyes before...in the mirror
Happy cake day