I'm a former recovering pornography addict and I've been fighting my imaginations and failing miserably to fight my passions and I fear my ever drawing closer to backsliding and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to other Christians and I've found nothing but love and encouragement on this board. Please someone pray for me? I've been caught in the lust of the flesh and I just feel broken and cast down and feel the desire to hang in the towel. My failure of self control has left me contrite and ashamed and I don't know where else to go. I can't see how Jesus can have patience on me when that's a sin I used to be a repeat offender in and I've slipped quite a bit these past few months with no one to confide and confess to. Not the physical act of porn but the imaginations and self gratification and masturbatory nature thereof. It's an addiction I've been very open with with fellow believers in my circle but given my recent slipping backwards I'm just too ashamed to say it to them. Forgive the shitpost please. I just don't even feel Jesus wants to put up with me anymore. Which I know is a lie but when you fall into sin it's hard to believe He can forgive an offense been forgiven before. Apologies if for any unsightliness I may have caused by sharing.
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I will pray for you, pede. It's important to remember He loves you and will never forsake you.
There is a big difference between conviction.... which is from the spirit and enables one to repent abs which you have obviously experienced ...and shame. Shame is Satan, remember he is the accuser and Jesus is our advocate. Every time the accuser comes tell yourself you've been set free in christ Jesus. Every time your mind wanders those ways, shut it down, tell yourself you've been set free in Christ. Surround yourself in good music and word. I like to listen to Lion of Judah on you tube. Just some encouragement... This life is an endurance race, so if you fall... get up again. All our righteousness is nothing. This doesn't mean mean we don't strive for holiness, but it isn't the ticket.. only Jesus. Look at the thief on the cross, he never had a Chance to go to temple or live out his repentance, yet he got to dine in heaven with christ.
Excellent point. Jesus and God do not want us to be ashamed or hate ourselves.
Thank you for the encouragement too. God bless you tenfold in Jesus name, amen
Take heart in that you still want to overcome this addiction.
If Jesus can forgive us our sins, and we endeavour to be like him, shouldn't we learn to forgive ourselves?
Keep on not giving up friend, God bless.
I found much comfort in you calling Him Daddy. Thank you for the encouragement sibling. God bless you tenfold as well. In Jesus name, amen
Great comment! Well done.
A lady who was in the porn industry and became a Christian said the way to defeat this addiction is to focus on Jesus not on resisting. The more you think about resisting the more that keeps the porn as your focus. Changing your focus changes your thoughts. Will be praying for you as you figure out how to put this into practice.
True repentance is literally changing our minds so the paradigm has shifted to what is needed to live a wholesome life. Like forgiveness, it removes the blame from the equation never to be thought of again-a clean slate.
In order to achieve the clean slate, the paradigm shift MUST include The Christ-I was referring to simple human psychology to clear the mind of self hate-forgiving oneself is a good first step to repentance.
Most of those women were abused as children and are manifesting trauma by acting out sexually.
Many of them are drugged and forced into pornography.
Stop jerking it to other people's pain and slavery.
Easy. See?
I will also pray for you.
We all have something we're battling, anon. Stay honest with yourself.
This is exceptional advice that helped me curb this big time.
Also:
‘These girls are typically either runaways or trafficked and reliving their trauma for drug money or some semblance of freedom.’
And;
‘Odds are not zero the girl you’re spanking it to is already dead’
100%
Matthew 18
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
https://www.gotquestions.org/seventy-times-seven.html
Philippians 4
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thank you too sibling. God bless you tenfold in Jesus name, amen
May God bless you and give you strength, fren.
Your encouragement is no less thanked. I hope you give Jesus a chance all the same and the Holy Ghost draws you near to Him. Given your words, you are not far from the kingdom of God, friend. God bless you in Jesus name all the same. Amen
1 John 1:9
Thank you, sibling. God bless you tenfold in Jesus name, amen
Remember according to Samuel 16:7, man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. If you are truly sorry for your sins and are working to live like Christ, He will forgive you
Before my recent failure he sent a vision to me. A picture of my heart. It looked like static on a tv.
If you want to resist sin and embrace Christ, your heart is pleasing to Him
Thank you, thank you.
I may get attacked for this, because a lot of people on here hate Catholics, (I know why, but I'm not abandoning my faith because there are bad people in it, just like I won't abandon the USA because there are bad people in it), but truly, you need to head to confession. Confession is like a mini-exorcism, it rids you of any and all demons that may have a hold on you, tempting you, whispering in your ear, or sending images to your mind. Yes, they have that power, but the power of Jesus and God's forgiveness is far more powerful. Confession can lift the weight of the sin off of your soul and lift you higher to Jesus.
I also struggled with lust, not necessarily with porn, but with temptation and sins against the 6th commandment. The only way I started to remove the chains was when I FINALLY went to confession after 3 years of avoiding it. I felt SO LIGHT and SO FREE, I felt ready to cry. I could feel the love of Jesus pouring into my heart and embracing me with a warmth I'd never felt before.
I fell to temptation again, but every time I made sure to go to confession again, and every time I felt renewed to succeed, and currently I've finally decided, for the last time, that I'll stumble no more. Jesus wants me to win, and I don't want to let Him down.
Having a special devotion to the Virgin Mary and to a little saint, Saint Maria Goretti, is what gave me the courage to move forward. Praying the rosary every day is the only thing that kept my mind off of temptation and it brought me closer to Jesus because I meditated on the Mysteries of His life.
I will pray for you. Good luck. And remember, God will never give up on you.
And just another note, nice to see a fellow Catholic on here. :) St. Philomena and St. Joseph are my go-to’s when I’m struggling!
Thank you for speaking up, I'm glad to see another Catholic too. St. Joseph always helps me feel safe too. In this age of masculinity being attacked it's nice to run to a holy man who embodies all the beautiful aspects of masculinity. St. Joseph Terror of Demons Pray for Us!
Indeed! St. Joseph, pray for us!
I also wanted to say something about that- the power of confession truly is a gift that is so helpful with an addiction like this. It is pride and listening to Satan that keeps us from running to Jesus with our sins, recognizing that He, having fallen many times physically on the way to Calvary, loves us all the more when we rise spiritually from our falls into sin. The other gift of the sacrament of confession is that you know that the priest (standing in the place of Christ, with His permission to forgive sins) is bound by the seal of confession and will not repeat your sins to any living soul. You can have anonymity if you want, and to hear the powerful words, “I absolve you of your sins,” is a powerful motivator. As long as you desire to do better, Jesus forgives. It is not an easy struggle to live with, in this sex-crazed world. But know you are not alone, OP. Prayers for you to find strength to rise again, and remembering that Jesus wants to help you up when you fall.
Thank you, sibling. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
Not sure about you, fren, but I certainly am not perfect. Only God is. Therefore, when I fall, because I am a human and make mistakes and sin, it’s better to run to Jesus than to hide from Him out of pride of admitting my sins. It’s because I know that He’s already paid the debt of my sins in full and, like He does with the lost sheep, He searches me out to return me to the fold. And Jesus Himself gave the priests the power to forgive sins in his name. “Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them.” We are meant to be sorry for our sins and to ask forgiveness. Blessings to you.
I agree with you that God is perfect and that He has paid for all our sins. But that doesn’t give us free reign to do whatever we want in our lives after that. We still need to follow His commandments and, as you said, He told so many people to “sin no more.” But he is there to forgive us when we do.
Jesus already forgave our past/ present/ future sins. No we don't have to follow the commandments as we are no longer under the law. We are under grace now, praise the Lord! :) The only way to live a life without sin is to understand God's unmerited favor, His grace; that all our sins are already forgiven. Not because of your works, but because of the finished work of Jesus at the cross.
Saying we no longer have to follow the commandments would mean I could steal or rape or worship other gods... that to me is not being a Christian. If I do those things and am not sorry, that to me is a disconnect. Jesus also said “Whose sins you shall forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you shall retain are retained.” Yes, Jesus has paid all our sins in full; but that doesn’t mean we get free reign to do whatever we want, and to sin as much and as freely as we wish with no remorse for our actions. I apologize to the original poster that this has somehow turned into a completely different conversation. I think this would be a much better conversation over a glass of wine on a patio somewhere. I’m glad you have Jesus in your life. I do as well, and I find great joy and peace in my faith and the ability to confess my sins, hear forgiveness from Christ himself through the priests he has ordained, and to have the ability to work towards being a better person in my life. I’m sure you find great comfort in your faith as well. Blessings to you!
Hi fren, I apologize if I have upset you by stating my Catholic beliefs. I think this conversation would be better suited to sitting on a patio and discussing over a glass of wine as we have gotten off topic from the original intention of my comment (attempting to support OP) and his post. I agree we have been set free by Christ who opened the gates of Heaven after dying for our sins. God did not give me the gift of being an eloquent debater, especially on a keyboard, and I have humbly become aware of this fact over the years. However, I know Him and love Him very much. My faith sets me free by giving me the ability to serve Him and love Him and hear His forgiveness through a priest who He has ordained, and who can trace their lineage back to Christ and St. Peter. I will live my life, but I will do it by loving God and following His commandments and continuing to ask for His help as I grow closer to Him. I take great comfort in my faith and in scripture and traditions. No need to worry about me, I have freedom in knowing that Christ will always forgive me and search me out if I go astray. I feel His love every day and know I am a beloved child of God. It sounds like your faith gives you peace in your life as well, so I am grateful you also have Jesus in your life. Blessings to you.
My husband used to struggle worry similar stuff and it is so prevalent! more Christians need to talk openly about it! we will definitely pray! also, we read The wounded heart by Dan Slender aloud together and so did other couple friends of ours and it was very helpful for all of us.
Just remember when your too humble and start to beat yourself up it turns into pride that you feel Jesus dying on the cross wasn't good enough for your sins. Jesus didn't die to forgive your sins once. However, we should not stay in our sins as the Gospel from paul's letters has told us. You need to find ways to fight the temptations, Read the bible/go to prayer when you get the feeling, or whatever hobbies you enjoy. Just know satan is using this against you now because he knows what bothers you I'm sure once you get a hang of fighting off his temptations it will slowly go away over time. But never give up and do not let the guilt beat you up give that burden to Jesus and know he loves you and will forgive you for ALL your sins. I will be praying for you fren.
i used to have a porn problem, i went from that to 1 year of monk mode(brahmacharya), something that changed my life forever.i learned how to harness our creative energy through sexual abstinence, Started off of a goal of 1 month no jerking off or porn/nudity. one month went by and my anxiety, depression and low energy was cured. EVERY two weeks you do not blow your load it will be absorbed into your blood stream. thus creating superior brain cells and muscle fibers. I think this is something every man should attempt in his life. I was so depressed before i started that journey , then i stumbled on ''no fap'' which i like to call Monk mode, i practiced something a little different , an anceint indian practice called ''brahmacharya'' you can watch videos on this. during that 12 months of brahmacharya i only jerked off one time, and had 2 wet dreams. the first couple weeks where the hardest. my confidence was through the roof, i made better eye contact with women and people in general. i am in a good relationship now thanks to that journey i took, some times i miss how i felt but being in love is also nice. if i ever become single again i will do another 6-12 months of this. it is life changing and will give you the momentum you seek. Captiain sinbad from youtube helped me on my journey , listen to his wisdom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeNgbBERNl4
Thank you, I will watch it. God bless you in Jesus name, sibling. Amen
You are right in the thick of the battle for the ultimate prize between Jesus and the devil. Your mind. Get on your knees, ask for forgiveness, cry a whole bunch if you need to. Then realize He has been waiting for you to seek Him out in this matter. Been there the whole time, even in your sin. He's willing to pick you up and brush you off. Just ask. You can't be plucked from His hand. In the words of a song by the group Petra: Even though you walk ten thousand steps away, you know it's only one step back. Because the One who hears you pray, will be there beside you and He'll never walk away.
Your an interesting duck. Instead of quoting a single verse, learn to read in context. That's the problem with too many "believers" today. They cherry pick instead of reading what the whole context is. It's not about performance because His grace is sufficient. If you've called on His name and asked for forgiveness, you are saved. Perfection can't be attained until we are caught up. That's when you obtain as glorified body. You can never achieve His standards while striving for your own. May as well make yourself an idol. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit. That's what happens when a person sins. Only thing left to do is ask for forgiveness and repent. Do you know what repent means? Shall we continue to sin? God forbid.
Show me in the bible where Jesus said He's the good samaritan. Do address the Father as daddy when you pray? You seem to be someone who is full of self righteousness. I'm testing your Sprit, and it doesn't smell good. Go find some sound doctrine to follow instead of bloviating to make yourself sound like you know something. Enjoy Joel Osteen for he leads to a path straight to hell.
Prayers sent. Much love to you❤️
And love to you Amy. Thank you for the prayer and God bless you in Jesus name, sister. Amen
2-4 drops of Lugol's 5% iodine a day will reduce your libido healthfully.
I never get lustful thoughts at all. I browse 4chan pol regular and feel nothing at the nudity. The plumbing still works but I just don't care to use it ATM.
Just always remember Jesus will give you another chance no matter what!
Lucifer has done a number everyone, but now that you have turned to Jesus the whole game has changed. You will be victorious by His side.
I have gone through a similar situation, and it is a process. But I am proud of where I am and I continue to seek Jesus no matter when I slip up or fail.
Thank you for the long-suffering of Jesus Christ, sibling. All of these messages from everyone has lifted my spirit by the Holy Spirit not to give up. I didn't know how much I needed everyone's prayers and love until I got up this morning to see all these pedes and siblings in Jesus Chest lending support. Thank you for being one of them. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
Jtap, do you have an outlet for your writing? I am seeing something, truly a gift from the savior, which you should focus on.
I actually pray with a notebook. I'm not a man with good verbal command.. kinda like Paul. I can write far better than I can speak, i.e. the texting age if I can give praise for any reason regarding such, God has blessed me with plenty of writing practice. I'm not sure however where that fits in serving God in Jesus. Thank you for mentioning it though, you're not the first to say that writing is a gift God has given me. Thank you and I'll be certain to devote more time to writing.
..."where that fits in serving God in Jesus" I think that we serve god by using the gifts we are given. Writing about your stuggles and your relationship with Jesus, to me, is serving, by helping others in theirs. As an example, the responses to your posting here seem to be exceptional. We all have our stuggles and you can serve as a guide to others, in my opinion.
That pierced my heart, sibling. Knowing that by some glimer of hope, my failure would spurr my fellow Christians to better love is an astounding thought. It near brought a tear to my eye. I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel petty useless at times to Jesus Christ and the Gospel so to know that any bit of my failure and confession spurred the brethren to love and grow in Jesus Christ then it makes my heavy heart light to know my thorn isn't for nothing.
I may begin to write little things that come to my heart as the Holy Ghost leads me to. If by chance in some way my walk with Jesus Christ may benefit another that would just be amazing.
Thank God for not abandoning me and thank God for Him demonstrating HIS love in people like you and all the other pedes on this board.
God bless you in Jesus name, sibling.
There ya go ! I have a niece who has had a pretty rough life. She began to work with other women in many different settings. She has a deep spiritual belief. She now uses her life experiences and the experiences of others , whom she has helped, to write "romance" novels. She finds it very cathartic .She has a huge following and each book lands on amazons best seller lists. Just as an example of using our gifts for others.
Thank you, sibling. Thank you for yielding to the Holy Spirit. It would seem you have a gift at discerning gifts. I hope you yourself use that to God's will too. In Jesus name, amen
In the Eastern Orthodox tradition we have the sacrament of confession and absolution which actually, spiritually, on the level of your damaged soul, gives you a fresh start. Add to that some extra prayers and prostrations, which actually fight the flesh, and you’re well on your way. Transformation is real in Holy Orthodoxy.
Christ is Risen! Truly He is risen!
Thank you, my orthodox sibling. I listened to an orthodox priest just yesterday in fact. Good doctrine/I will add he got the Bible wrong regarding the absence if marriage to our spouse in heaven and a few other things. But I will say they're was definitely Holy Spirit encouragement to be a better man that is capable of leading, serving, loving, and protecting a wife and her walk with Jesus Christ. I want to be better. God bless you in Jesus name, sibling. Amen
I’m familiar with this apparent discrepancy. We understand the Bible to mean that marriage, as in consummate marriage, will no longer exist in marriage, but we don’t believe that the uniqueness of the blessing of a lifetime of marriage will somehow dissipate in the heavenly kingdom. The bond is understood to be eternal. (as is, to some extent, regrettably, all conjugal bonding). There’s a great priestmonk in Australia with many excellent talks online. I listen to him at www.orthodoxtalks.com. Free downloads and all that. Very encouraging material for any hard struggle. His name is Fr. Kosmos.
Thank you for the encouragement, brother. Though I can't receive the marriage discrepancy currently, I will most assuredly take what salt is available of the Holy Ghost from whomever He uses to teach me. God bless you for your love and concern and prayer and encouragement, brother. In Jesus name, amen
Oh! I also want to highly encourage you to find celebrate recovery group! They are amazing.
Is it online or are you referring to a physical group?
They are in person groups
I'll have to see where the closest one is to me. Unfortunately I live in a very remote area which may limit my capacity without lengthy travel but I'll give it a shot. Thank you. God bless you in Jesus name, friend. Amen.
Hobbies are important. I recommend fishing.
I will have to take it up more. I garden a bit as well as enjoy a pipe every now and again and I also make beer so perhaps I need to dig further into those things to get away from idleness. God bless you in Jesus name, friend amen
If He told us to forgive 70 x 7, how much more is HE able to forgive? Endless. You'll never find the end of grace if you accept His forgiveness.
Thank you, pede. God bless you in Jesus name
Prayers sent up. Much love to you fren.
I love you too, thank you and God bless you in Jesus name, amen.
Prayers for you. So much of addiction is about changing the way we feel. Pray about how you are feeling. I would recommend the book The 12 steps for Christians. It works well for ALL addictions. It helps me to Pray Serenity prayer when your mind turns to the addiction you are struggling with. Remember we are imperfect humans and God forgives everything we are truly sorry for doing because we don't want to damage our relationship with Him.
The serenity had been on my mind this past april. April. I should meditate on it more. Thank you for the suggestions, I'll have to give the 12 steps another read too. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
I’ve joined a sexual purity group at church for the same issue bro. That really helped me. Could maybe help you.
You are not alone, remember that first! I will offer what has helped me with my lapses of different types, and that is whenever I feel the dark one's pull, is to grab my bible and read in it. This is what was meant by "Wrap yourself in the full armor of the Lord". The Devil becomes powerless when you turn your back on him and your face to Jesus. I promise you, it will help. Stay strong Brother!
Consider this book, it's free and has a pdf version: https://easypeasymethod.org
You are not alone. We all have our weaknesses, and we are all sinners. Here's the secret. Christ has given you His righteousness, and there's nothing you can do about it. He accepts your faith, love, and desire to do good as if it were perfect righteousness. It's like putting on a coat to cover up your sins. When God looks at you, he sees the perfection of Christ (not the ugly sins underneath). Of course, you can't use this as an excuse to stop trying, but Christ died for all your sins (past, present, and future). God loves you as much as he loves Jesus. Satan wants you to feel guilty. Don't listen to his bullshit.
When Jesus was tempted by Satan each time He rebuked the devil with The Word of God. You need to find some promises to claim when you are tempted and claim them with authority. Check out some King James Scripture online concerning victory over sin. "Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world."
Don't beat yourself up we are all sinners saved by God's never ending grace (giving us what we don't deserve [ie. salvation]) and mercy (not giving us what we deserve [ie. eternal damnation]). I was healed of fits of rage so the victory has already been won and we just have to claim that victory through confession, prayer, supplication and even fasting. God wants you whole and well so agree with God. "I can do ALL things through Christ, who strengthens me". "ASK and ye shall receive". God's love, grace, mercy and forgiveness have no bounds and He isn't upset with your failures...he understands and provided the answer...the blood of Jesus that washes white as snow.
He has washed me clean. Thank you for reminding me, sibling. God bless you in Jesus name amen
I'm praying for you. With God's help, you can overcome this.
Thank you summerstorm. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
Work on getting a significant other? If you have one, channel your urges toward her/him? God gave us these urges to perpetuate the human race. Good luck!
Remember that He is always with you. We had a vacant chair at church as a visual reminder that Jesus was always welcome/always PRESENT. Leave the seat next to you open.
I will from now on. Thank you and God bless you in Jesus name, tenfold amen
Hold on to your Faith, brother. You are so precious in the eyes of God and your fellow Christians. Jesus made it clear that all who named Him as their Savior are saved.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+12&version=NKJV
Furthermore, it's made clear that there is only one thing unforgivable, and that's knowing the Truth of Jesus and denying it. Even right here in your post, you're saying that you believe in Christ as your Savior. You are still in Grace, and He is with you.
Faith and Strength aren't something you unlock once and have them forever. They're something you work at, falter at, doubt at, resolve to get better at, and grow at every day.
Christ is with you. WRWY.
Satan is your accuser. Jesus will save you to the uttermost.
1 John 1:9
Psalm 51.
All of your righteousness is as filthy rags to begin with.
Never be to ashamed to confess your sin to Jesus, never believe he will not forgive you. His blood paid it all!
You are right. Thank you for the reminder it isn't me, brother. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
Even Jesus was tempted. There is no sin in that.
Just don't act upon it or dwell. Ask for His help. Find a hobby you can apply yourself to that takes focus and skill.
Memorize a lot of scripture passages.
Thank you, sibling. I've been refreshed by all of the encouragements including yours. God bless you in Jesus name, amen.
I will pray for you & have this everlasting struggle myself.
Shift your focus & when it is focused on Jesus along with deep dives into the truth he & our father teaches I lose my drive for most other things.
I love you my brother.
I love you too. I'm glad to know someone intimately knows my struggle. I will be praying for you as well. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
Thank you & God bless you. If you are looking for service opportunities to keep your mind & hands busy, I suggest www.justserve.org
Thank you, I will check it out.