My wife is 10 weeks pregnant. We've decided on a home birth because we think that will give us the highest chance of having a natural birth. We also feel a home birth will be much more spiritual and God focused, which we want to make sure Jesus is as the center of it all.
We have found a team with a certified nurse midwife and others that will assist us throughout the pregnancy. We have a nearby hospital familiar with our situation in case a transfer is needed for any reason.
Has anyone else had a home birth? If so, I am curious what your experience was like.
Yes, my family has had eight home-births.
Eat lots of yoghurt, blue cheese, sardines for calcium, but also meat and eggs for iron.
We had a couple of Vegan babies, whereby the mother was fed molasses for iron, but I do no recommend this route. Iron deficiency was a big problem.
Sunbathe.
Read books, like spiritual midwifery so that your lady does not panic if she starts throwing up from the hormones. Learn about power breathing, which focuses the mind on counting the rhythm of in and out breaths: my kids called it the 'huffing yoga'. Lots of kissing and petting (yep, especially the tiddies) during birth also helps. Sex put the bubby there, and will help it come out. Also, that book tells one about relaxing the rear end during contractions. A first baby can cause a woman to clench during the pains if she does not know about that, The point is to view the pain as power and focus the strength at the top not the bottom. Sitting on all fours can help with this.
During labour have a poo-bucket, this sounds disgusting, but poo urges happen in late stages, and sitting on the bucket is just the right position to relieve it - also, walking to the toilet is just not gonna happen.
Also, don't eat sweets or honey during the labour, it can cause acid reflux which is not pleasant. Do drink water, which will make peepee, hence poo bucket, but I digress - it is important to stay hydrated.
Have you thought about water birth? Some people find that good, however, our babies came so fast there was no time to even fill a pool, let alone get it to temp. Nevertheless, if you have access to a spa-pool, that might be an idea - set it at a temp that is not too hot though.
Oh and lastly, have some string and a sterilized pair of scissors handy. (we baked the scissors and string beforehand and dropped tea-tree oil all over them, and then wrapped it in a dry cloth, all ready. When the baby is born you need to wait until the cord stops pulsing. You can safely wait until the afterbirth comes out as well, but sometimes that is not convenient. THEN you can tie it and cut it. Make sure you have a nice stack of fluffy towels or cloth diapers, to catch liquids and keep baby warm.
We had six out of those eight babies all by ourselves, the other two had midwives present. If you do choose to have someone like that there, tell them hands OFF. Do not let them stretch the cervix, or manually feel. This can speed it up all right: One of those babies came so fast that the mother nearly passed out, which is very scary.
Hi, thanks for your response. This will be our first baby.
Yes, we've got that book and have watched Ina's movie, and many other midwife movies, as well.
Haha yeah we've seen many big smooches in the movies we've seen which helped "soften" the mother up.
We plan on having a birthing tub for her, as well as a poop catcher :).
We will be doing a delayed cord clamping as well. Our CNM has told us her goal is to do what we want, and if that means being a fly on the wall she was for it. However if something goes wrong she will step in, of course.
We had a homebirth for our first, it was an amazing experience and had a wonderful outcome using a birthing tub. The biggest thing is keeping Mom relaxed. The tub was #1 for that, I was #2 and our labor dula was #3. The more relaxed she is, the easier everything will be. We read the Father Coached Birth which helps Dad be more equipped to notice and help mom relax during the intense parts.
We used primrose oil daily for a few weeks before birth (inserted not orally) to help soften the cervix. Sex is of course better for that though so we used both methods.
Make sure the CNM has a good track record meaning they haven’t had a lot of transfers or emergencies they couldn’t deal with. Make sure they are capable of dealing with common emergencies like cord wrapped around head, and shoulder dystocia. Have a plan in place for in case baby is breach as only a few CNMs are even allowed to deliver this way. It is a beautiful experience but one that you and the CNM must be wellllllll prepared for. God bless!
Good stuff.
She will step in by calling 911. Great comment by u/anden35. Best of luck!! Most beautiful thing in the world. BE PATIENT. and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
What was your postpartum plans?
Find a lactation consultant, a good chiropractor that is familiar with infant chiro care in your area, as well as a orthodontist familiar with tongue ties and revisions. Those three things were game changers for happier baby and breastfeeding.
Eat a tablespoon of poppy seeds a few times during the day.
Also make you lady get up on all fours and do the huffing yoga through the pains.
Nevertheless, those POPPY seeds, yep, 1 tbsp at a time, are a natural painkiller, unlike the pills that are prescribed.
One poppy pod will make about a teaspoon of seeds, so I do not think it is a wild idea.
Yep, I am aware of lectins, and seed oils. I a butter fan personally, no oils in the house.
HOWEVER, when a lady is screaming and moaning in pain from post-partum, which can be worse than labour, because they have nothing to push against, then POPPY SEEDS are the go to.
Yeah, I think that may be a good idea.
Home is best. I taught childbirth classes until it was so obvious the medical system and hospital birthing wasn’t the best for mom or baby in the late 70’s, when the c-section rate was about 6% and it’s now 35-70%, based on the country and location! Yes, there is a historic 2-3% of births that are dangerous to mom or baby, but most of the reasons to not use the current medical system are due to the same crazy, senseless rules and regulations we saw with the China virus. In my mind, that first pregnancy and birth is when moms and dads are born, as they learn to parent the new life, protect it always, and don’t look to others to do this for you. Think home schooling….. Good news is that all four grown daughters are living this lifestyle with big, happy, healthy families. We trust and thank God for this!
I delivered at home last october. It took less than seven hours and it was my first time. I couldn't get a midwife for it because i was considered high risk, but i had an experienced friend who helped me. Also check out "Gentle Birth Choices" by Barbars Harper. Feel free to pm me if you wnat to ask any questions
One thing nobody mentioned here yet is that in hospital delivery despite what you say they will give the newborn whatever shots the administration orders.
Two home births for my wife and I. Best decision we ever made!!!
I have had 5 home births in the 80's. I took the Bradley Method of childbirth with my husband and really felt prepared for birthing. We had our first four in Illinois with a wonderful group of doctors that did home births. They also were our pediatrician and family doctor. I read a lot about birthing but so many years later I don't remember what books.
The doctors always sent the nurse/midwives out first and the midwife was the only one there on 2 out of the 4 in Illinois but the nurse/midwives were extremely competent. I never had an episiotomy (they massaged with oil) or any drugs.
The 1st and 2nd were normal (but hard work). The 3rd was posterior. The 4th had the cord wrapped around but 2nd stage was basically 3 pushes and she popped out. I didn't circumcise or vaccinate any of my children.
The 5th was born in Georgia with only midwives because doctors couldn't do homebirths. Great team of 2 midwives. The baby had a mecomium movement and had to be aspirated immediately but was fine. I drank lots of raspberry tea and took my vitamins and ate well with all. I love that all my kids saw each new birth and I really enjoyed the opportunity to have my babies at home.
The most important thing I think is to make sure you wait for a contraction before delivering the placenta. If you immediately put the baby to the breast it will cause you to deliver the afterbirth without hemorrhaging. This happened to my daughter in a hospital natural birth with a midwife and I was really disappointed in that oversight.
Best to you and God bless your growing family.
The Badley Method worked for us as well. Focused breathing and relaxing when the body wants to react instead.
I second the Bradley method, was great for the wife and I both. VERY good preparation and no worthless "distraction techniques" like Lamaze. She was relaxed, knew exactly what all was happening, no panic whatsoever.
Don't do any barbaric wiener chopping.
Yes! Congrats, fren!
Both my kids are born in our own bed, our house, our place. It truly is a very spiritual experience.
You might want to consider other things as well.
Do you want that?
They will advise to cut the chord immediately. That is standard protocol. Why is that? Would it fall off by itself after 10 days?
Birthing in warm water may be beneficial to the birth process and to both morher and child.
Heeljab. Consider not allowing it.
It's basically childabuse what they do to new borns.
No, but I know a family that has exclusively had many home births and they have always preferred that route and not had any problems. Everybody is different though. If your wife is quite fit, that obviously would help.
I had two children in the hospital and my last one at home 10 years later. I had a long labor, but what stood out to me was how relaxed and natural it seemed. And my baby was 10 lb. 1 oz! I delivered with no tearing, took a shower, had bacon and eggs for breakfast, and we all went back to sleep. It was an excellent experience - if you are low risk, I highly recommend it.
I think it’s a wise choice. You just never know what’s gonna happen in a hospital anymore. But having a back up hospital is a great idea. It sounds like you have it well planned, and I’m sure you’ll find some fantastic advice here regarding that topic. We have the best pede’s. Don’t we!
Backup hospital is an incredible choice, especially if you have one very close by you can trust.
Things can always go wrong, so being able to have an emergency room nearby is helpful.
But obviously this is the natural course, people had children just fine before hospitals. Good luck OP!
My oldest son was born in a hospital in '80, and youngest son was born at home in '89. The wife said she would never deliver in a hospital again. The difference was night and day.. At home, she was comfortable, with people she knew and "germs" she had already been exposed to. We had a midwife and assistant present, but I did the delivery. There was a complication, cord around his neck twice, but I dealt with it. No perverted doctor needed. She got up 15 minutes after she had him and fixed herself some soup... Doctors and hospitals treat pregnancy and delivery as if it's an illness and surgical procedure, which it is NOT. If you get rid of the fear and unfamiliar environment, it becomes as natural as it should be.
You and I are on the same wavelength...my oldest '80 and my youngest '89 with 3 in between!
We had none in between, lol.
We did. It's the way to go. A birth isn't a medical condition that needs a hospital. Get a midwife to guide you. Avoid ultrasounds as those emfs can mess a baby up.
Thanks.
Yeah, we specifically found a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM). We are in Arizona and Certified Professional Midwives cannot legally prescribe medication or go beyond 42 weeks (which many first births do), however a CNM can.
Lots of curb walking at week 40++, put us in to labor for our first.
Hopefully it will be less jewish without a circumcision.
Good decision, especially in today's medical insanity.
What an amazingly knowledgeable community this is!
I was born at home
Do not apply for a socialist slave number for the child.
Do your research and have a competent CNM or MD present-one who believes in non-intervention unless absolutely necessary for the health of your baby and the mother. She or he must also be able to provide neonatal resuscitation, if needed. I would advise against a lay midwife because complications can occur at home. Have a bulb syringe present, if needed, to clear the airway of mucous. Doing immediate skin to skin by mom with baby de-stresses the baby from birth, normalizes glucose levels, regulates temperature and heart rate, and colonizers healthy bacteria to prevent infection.
Leave cord on as long as possible.
This was my wife's goals, but gestational diabetes and preclampsia made her decidedly high risk and needed to be induced. Just be aware, want to make God laugh tell him your plans.
Amazing story of home birth by mom of 7 -
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uN7a6ks93vg
My husband and I had six out of seven births at home.
Wow! That is great. Would you be willing to share any more details?
What did you give birth in? Did you have a CNM or a CPM? Did you hire a doula?
If you had any difficult times during birth, how did you overcome them?
What role did you husband play? Did it change over time?
My wife has delivered something north of 2,000 babies. And we are both skeptical of the medical system - especially now. Most deliveries are fairly routine. But when they are not, it can go south very quickly. Seconds often count. For me, I’d be looking for a hospital that would provide most of what you are trying to achieve here. They exist. They aren’t the norm, but they are out there. It would be pretty terrible to be in a situation where the hospital could easily have solved the issue but time was working against you.
Not trying to be a downer. Just my thoughts. Best of luck to you whichever route you go, and Congrats!
A close friend of mine gave birth at home back in 1985. She had just a midwife at her side. I was there for the birth.
The birth was normal with no complications. Mom and son were snuggled together upright in a livingroom chair within a few hours after, and in their own bed that same night. Son now a full grown man, a professional plumber, with family of his own.
I tried to home birth with both my kids. I paid a midwife twice! Both times I ended up getting transferred to the hospital. First baby I was 3 weeks overdue and in labor for 3 days (I was done smh). Second baby I was 2 weeks overdue with Polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid) and the baby wasn’t engaging me so I gave up, exhausted and huge. Both hospital visits were better than expected and the births were healthy and natural with minimal intervention. My only complaints about the hospital is they make you take antibiotics or threaten to remove your baby from your care once its born in order to administer the antibiotics you refused. The doctor threatened me with this. So I took the antibiotics 🤷🏼♀️ They didn’t fight me declining Vit K, eye goop or vaccines and both babies got delayed cord clamping.
I say try home birth! If your wife can do it then thats the best!!! Next time around I will not be paying a midwife and hospital bill again. I will just go to the hospital 😅
I haven't had a home birth but I've had 3 natural births with midwives in a birth center, where our room was almost identical to a hotel room. No interventions or interference aside from monitoring the baby's heart rate about every half hour. Two (#1 and #3) were Sunnyside up, which resulted in a longer, more intense labor, but delivery is over before you know it and the pain becomes a distant memory. No tearing ever. I've always been suspicious of modern medicine and after seeing "The business of being born" many years ago, decided to go the natural route. Ina May Garten's books were also inspirational during pregnancy. Feel free to ask any questions, I would 100% do a home birth if we have a #4.
Not dooming by any means, but came across this experience over the last couple months and really hits home to make sure you trust your providers in the home setting. ❤️
https://youtu.be/GBhHW8jzye4
Thanks for the video!
Yes, we interviewed two midwives and settled on the second one who fit our spiritual mind set and birth practices.
We picked ours on temperament. She had a no nonsense, it’s decision making time side that we felt was perfect for the home setting. The birth center had a hippy dippy midwife that was more beloved but her settings were “safer” we had several at the birth center.
Unfortunately my wife cannot do a home birth, too high risk. VBAC and not going to risk it. If this is a successful VBAC, we highly consider doing a home birth for child #3.
You don't need a midwife. You can deliver babies as well as i did. Youtube. Books. And read u/sadness post. You'd be surprised how little it takes for midwives to call 911 or ambulance. They have their careers and liability as their first priority. NOT MEDICAL ADVICE.
Agreed, that happened to us, a planned homebirth, and she chickened out. Than kept telling us that the baby was still hours away, while waving essential oils around.
three minutes later the baby was out.
LOL