We have been trying to educate my eldest child at home. We passed up a great charter school to educate her at home. However, my wife feels like she cannot go on doing this.
First is the difficulty. If my daughter grows bored, she just pretends like she can't do the work and cries. For example, she didn't want to do math, so she pretended that she couldn't count objects and say the correct number (six objects, and she insisted that there are seven). She cries during her lessons because she doesn't want to do the work.
Second is that my daughter is bored all day. She literally has been begging "to go to a government school" like her friends so she can "see them on the bus and at recess." We're having a hard time finding anyone locally for her to play with during the day. She won't do additional lessons or activities and just whines non-stop about playing with other girls.
My wife is at her wits end and tells me that she hates doing this, even though she was the one who made the final decision to homeschool!
When I've had to take over lessons during the day, my no-nonsense attitude seems to get us through lessons smoothly, but her boredom and constant whining is a real point of contention.
What do we do? She's already in four extra-curricular activities. Local clubs fill up fast, so she can't join those. There should be dozens of nearby families doing homeschool, but apparently not?
I have a bored child and an exasperated wife. Help!
As a child, If I ever complained about being bored, my mother would find all kinds of things for me to do such as, dusting the baseboards, washing dishes, dusting, etc. Worked well, I was rarely bored.
Isolation is a big factor in what we will decide to do when school age comes. More than anything I think school is an entryway into an ever-expanding circle of friends and acquaintances. I don't want our kids to be complete outsiders.
I don't want them to be changed into people they are not by a crappy school either or worst case to be victimized by predators. It's tough and I don't foresee an easy choice.
I hear ya bro, went to through the same with my wife and kids. Honestly first 3 years were hard to adjust, tried a few different programs or lesson plans whatever. Then found one that is half "live" classes online with other kids and teacher and the second half is like DIY so she threw in an exercise hour for a PE credit, bought things like child chemistry sets and shit like that to fill in the gaps. Worked out well an now my eldest is in the "honor roll" whatever that even means nowadays lol, feels more like a participation trophy lol but both the wife and kids are just flying through it
I hate to say it, but just like those motherfuckers in our government, bribes are very very successful come to find out lol. ie "hey kid, if you get an A on this book report, you get XYZ". Sounds bad maybe, but hey it works
If you don't want to raise a spoiled brat, you had better stop trying to "please" your daughter and lay down the law. If a parent truly loves their child, they will give them what they need, NOT what they want.
When she whines, assign her household chores. When her school work results are poor, assign her more homework and take away extra-curricular activities. She must come to understand that:
In time, she will adjust to the new paradigm and be better for it.
TOUGH love if you want results.
Try to find a local homeschooling group. They are in many communities and the parents support each other, the kids have outings and classes together.
Homeschooling should look NOTHING like government school. I tried to homeschool one of my kids 30 years ago when these groups were not around, and there was no internet support at that time either. I know exactly what they are BOTH feeling! It was isolating and sooo frustrating! There is so much support available now, though…search it out 🥰
Our community has a group of about 75 families, and the kids and the parents are all thriving!
All it takes is 2 or 3 families to split lessons. Come up with a good rotation and no one gets burned out. The kids are also seeing / hearing it from more than just their parents.
Yes! Teamwork makes the dream work!
Four extracurricular activities?
Sounds spoiled to me. Start taking them away if she can't get through a homeschooling day.
Echo this as well. School comes first. If school isn’t done, you don’t get time with friends or for extracurricular activities.
We homeschooled all 7 of our kids. There was one child in particular who acted a lot like your daughter. We finally settled on a hands off curriculum for him that had daily lessons on the computer and multiple choice testing (it was called Switched on Schoolhouse and that was over 20 years ago - it wasn't online but on disks.) That kept me from fighting with him and it was his choice how long his schooling took. I'm sure there are far more options available now.
Another thing you might consider if she is bored is letting her pursue something that she's passionate about. This would be a subject she is free to explore on her own- you just provide the materials she needs, whether that is letting her watch documentaries, making trips to the library, buying extra curriculum or materials, etc. We let our kids do unit studies on whatever really interested them and let them dig into those things in their free time after they got their basic schoolwork done for the day (it might be horses, art, filmmaking or anything- we ended up with a 13 year old who built his own computer after he spent a LONG time learning how to build computers.) If she finds something she loves and is passionate about, it helps motivate her to get the rest of her work done so that she can move onto what really interests her.
I second the "bribe" suggestion also. Let her earn rewards for doing what she's supposed to do; they don't have to be huge things.
And there is just this- she has to learn that in life we all have to do things we don't want to do.
Echo these suggestions. We’re going through with one of ours that we homeschool. 12 years old. Wants to negotiate the work all the time. Tough going, but the natural consequence of “school takes longer the more you complain” seems to have had an effect.
Ever consider moving? Some public schools in majority conservative areas are still untouched by the woke mob and bullshit like CRT. Especially so for the younger grades. Our local school system is still relatively based enough and fights against the current political trends that afflict certain school districts.
My area would fall into that category. Nevertheless, I did speak with a local teacher two years ago and she confirmed that the rainbow nonsense is part of her annual teacher training. It doesn't necessarily mean it's in the local curriculum, but it's still present.
I homeschooled my son for three years. He is now 9. He is an only child and really needed something more than me. I prayed and prayed and found a small Christian school in my town. There are only 9 kids. They are patriot owners, so I feel very lucky since we are on the same page about most things. If I had more than one kid, I probably could have kept going, but he really needed friendship and a break from me!
Sounds like a disciplinary issue. She got her mother pegged. If she won’t work on her school work, make her do other work. House work, teach her to cook, garden.
Sounds like a good place for a compromise solution.
80/20 kind of thing.
Put her in 'regular' school and be sure that she learns about the problems that exist firsthand.
Honesty and well explained awareness should greatly mitigate the problems of public schooling.
Spend a set amount of time at home with homework, whether it is assigned or not. You are still in charge.
Be sure she trusts you and your elder wisdom.
With a little luck she might turn out better than you ever imagined.
And if it doesn't work out, you can move to a better school district.
I found a Micro school close by for my 9 year old, ESA funds him for the year, His teacher is great and left the public school system during the Covid scam, She is doing a great job with him
Just saw this link about homeschooling
https://greatawakening.win/p/17sOnjyDXs/advice-for-homeschooling-parents/
The fact that you are here tells me that you are not failing. The purpose of school is (should be) to teach a child how to think. Not what to know nor what to think. The academia is useless, unless you have a direct purpose for what you are learning.
I dropped out of high school because it just wasn't right for me at the time. I think that I was in early algebra when I left (it takes a series of failings to drop out). My line of (self-employed 25 years) work requires moderately complex math to accomplish the tasks. I learned what I needed to learn when it became applicable. I was taught how to think at an early age. That is all I needed. That and a considerable amount of drive. You are doing fine. Good on you for taking it upon yourself. Relish the moments and do your best.
If your child is whining about things, I think it’s more of a you problem. Does she whine when she doesn’t get her way during other activities?
Buy a book called the “one minute father”! It’s a quick read, and a great way to parent your kids. You’ll thank me later.
My kids are grown so I don’t really have much advice for you other than parenting skills
I wish the best for you all. I know it’s a tough time. I’m sorry I’m not trying to be curt. I am just trying to cut this problem off at the pass.
Age? Grade level??
Join a sportsman club (gun range, archery)
4H is kinda woke with some stuff but get a kid chickens so they get up in the morning with responsibility (purpose to get un the morning before school) forced routine to get up get dressed and they will probably focus more for lessons.
Screen do have an impact on attitude and behavior. Blue light with head aches. Limit screens... Hard to do as adults with these .win pages 🤣
Karate or somethign of that nature teaches respect self defense and emotional control along with burning energy.
She... might be just her age. School could make it even harder with being a new girl in the class. Couldn't believe the drama with just first grade girls to high school.
Also chapter books Rush Limbaugh series
https://officialrushlimbaugh.com/rush-revere/
Prodigy for math game. Free online... really neat (u set the grade level)
IXL. Online neat setup to change math up.
Education fun break learning series buy liberty kids and School house rock
But the more serious stuff for older kids and young that can help you....
Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA)
https://hslda.org
HSLDA’s leaders, directors, and employees are Christians who seek to honor God by providing the very highest levels of service in defending homeschool freedom and equipping homeschoolers.
How to Get Started (Interactive Explainer)
https://hslda.org/get-started
Homeschool Laws by State (interactive map)
https://hslda.org/legal
List of other homeschool organizations (each State has them)
https://hslda.org/content/orgs/
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FIND HOMESCHOOL GROUPS NEAR ME -- US, CANADA, PUERTO RICO
https://www.homeschool.com/supportgroups
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Hillsdale College
K-12 at Home: An American Classical Education
https://k12athome.hillsdale.edu
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National Home School Association (NHSA, appears to be membership/dues-based)
https://nationalhomeschoolassociation.com
About:
About Us Aside from our many advisors and associates, we are a dedicated team of seasoned homeschoolers that are determined to maintain the NHSA's position as the epicenter of the home schooling movement. With a wide variety of talents and experience our team is uniquely positioned and qualified to take on the challenges to unify the millions of widely diverse and fiercely independent homeschool families across the country into a single voice to protect everyones right to homeschool.
Free E-Book
Terra Scholar - A Complete Handbook for Today’s Homeschooler E-book https://nationalhomeschoolassociation.com/terra-scholar-homeschool-ebook.php
What are Homeschool Pods and Co-Ops? (explainer)
https://www.homeschoolingsc.org/resources-page/homeschool-associations/
Other Resources, Activities, and Curriculum available on site.
Material.... Younger kids and free Math/english game prodigy online (simple search pops it right up)
BetterWorldBooks
Great source for older / out of print Textbooks.
https://www.betterworldbooks.com ....................
Ron Paul Curriculum
https://www.ronpaulcurriculum.com
"Absolutely the best CONTENT I have seen anywhere for subjects of Literature and History. My 4th grader loves it and is learning things I didn't know about until college and beyond. PhD level professors teaching in prerecorded course (180 lessons per subject per semester). Also have courses in science, math, etc and adult courses. By 4th grade students can work almost entirely independently with the curriculum (but you'll want to learn it too!) which is a big help especially for families with multiple kids."
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ABEKA (Christian Homeschooling Program)
https://www.abeka.com/homeschool
About:
In 1954, Dr. Arlin Horton and his wife, Beka, started a Christian school in Pensacola, Florida. But they soon discovered a problem. Textbooks and curriculum based on biblical educational philosophy were starting to disappear. Burdened to give their students the best education possible, they stood in the gap and began producing their own materials.
"my daughter taught piano to 3 boys who were using the christian homeschool ABEKA program and there all in college now! Both my daughters were raised on this program in private christian school."
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Seton Home Study School (Catholic)
https://www.setonhome.org
Seton Home Study School is a nationally accredited, faithfully Catholic private PreK-12 distance school located in the state of Virginia. We serve an enrollment of approximately 20,000 homeschooled students, and several thousand more families through book sales and by furnishing materials to small Catholic schools.
"Seton Catholic homeschooling is excellent. The program handles all the paperwork for the state or country of residence. They send a box of real books, computer use is minimal. We set up a fast pace with provided math course, so we can add Singapore US edition afterwards."
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Saxton math (but always check word problems... it's popular and used in private schools... always worried things could get snuck in and switched up. Never had this problem but always check)
Finally for your wife... try looking for a mom's for liberty group (might help her meet like minded moms and play dates hangouts)
It will take time to adjust and friends may be harder to find or keep when you are not in school every day. There are also private Christian schools that would likely provide a better education and still have access to friends. I still think homeschooling is better but each child is different. So while some need that solo time at home, others might crave that social interaction. Join youth group and look into homeschool groups. I didn’t have many homeschool groups growing up but I think they are everywhere now.
I honestly watched DVD’s of a classroom recording but now they have live broadcasted ones. I was homeschooled not that long ago but things are improving fast
Seems you didn't plan ahead and social programs all filled up. Start your own! Get some ONLINE progams so she can interact that way. Have her join a martial arts class. Not gettig enough exercise, activities. Give it time and patience.
There are several things going on here.
First, it's a heart issue with you daughter. If she is stating/pretending there are 7 objects instead of the actual six. She feels free to lie and deceive your wife to get her way. This needs to be addressed with discipline.
Second, boredom. Sounds like she is able to blow thru the assignments quickly. What do you/your wife do when bored? Do you or your wife whine about being bored? Where is she learning the word "bored"?
At our house, the word was struck from our vocabulary as it was expressing the mark of a weak mind. Imaginative play would often consist of a cardboard box and duct tape at this age (time machines, shields, swords, star trek transportors, etc were the normal)
What is your daughter interested in? Make a list. If she's curious about something - figure out how to feed the curiosity. If she's just pretending to be bored, again, it's a heart issue.
Third, I'd check on curriculum. I think there might be a mismatch between your wife's teaching style and your daughter's learning ststyle.
Your daughter runs your wife.
Cathy Duffy works through this (101 Home school curriculum picks). Just because a curriculum is highly rated, doesn't mean it's a fit for your kid. Example, for us, anything abeka was usually a no-go, so I would look for patriotic Christian books elsewhere.
Caution. A change in curriculum will not address the underlying heart issue.