5
captn_crunch 5 points ago +5 / -0

Yes, because the one celebrity that I would absolutely listen to in order to help me decide who to vote for is a woman who's entire career was made from writing songs about choosing the wrong man time and time again...

Y'all reading this clearly understand how absurd of a play this is, but there will no doubt be hundreds of thousands of smooth-brain midwits that will fall hook, line and sinker for it.

2
captn_crunch 2 points ago +5 / -3

I knew my spidey senses were tingling when I first heard the 83 million total.

4
captn_crunch 4 points ago +4 / -0

I guess you could say Ron DeSantis was given DAS BOOT.

(yes, I'm aware 'das boot' really means 'undersea boat'.)

1
captn_crunch 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'd flip my shit if Rob Schneider was Q this whole entire time.

2
captn_crunch 2 points ago +2 / -0

Tbf, I think that's the number of followers he had at the time of his ban. Minus several thousand or so who unfollowed because .... well, he was banned.

43
captn_crunch 43 points ago +43 / -0

Burn in Hell, globalist scumbag.

Then again, Hell is probably too good a place for someone like him.

2
captn_crunch 2 points ago +2 / -0

Was gonna say I'd bet he and Weiner went to the same gym.

3
captn_crunch 3 points ago +4 / -1

Yeah, I've found her interesting. Dave of X22 often uses her as a source in his reports and, as far as I know, she's the only journalist/ investigative reporter employed by any of the legacy fake news media that Dave uses.

3
captn_crunch 3 points ago +3 / -0

Initiation rite?

Considering the geographical location, I'd figure that rite would've involved a donkey.

4
captn_crunch 4 points ago +4 / -0

Was about to say: I unironically like Gwar. Hell, Greg Gutfeld often had their lead singer on his old show 'Red Eye'

14
captn_crunch 14 points ago +14 / -0

I can only get so erect.

3
captn_crunch 3 points ago +3 / -0

Thank you! I've done all the things you've mentioned. Including pedicures despite my disgust of feet.

Now y'all know a little quirk about me, whether you wanted to or not.

11
captn_crunch 11 points ago +11 / -0

Hello frens!

I'd like to give an update on my mom as she had hip replacement surgery yesterday. The surgery went extremely well and after spending one night for observation she'll likely be discharged from the hospital as early as later today.

I'd also like to thank anyone and everyone who had given prayers toward my mom over the past day whether they were written or silent. They were all much appreciated and I'm immensely grateful to be a part of such an uplifting community that gives so much unconditional support.

1
captn_crunch 1 point ago +1 / -0

Man..... et tu, Lars?

The 16 year old metalhead in me is praying it's not what it seems and he just has property there based on recommendation by his surfer bandmate Kirk Hammett.

view more: Next ›