487
posted ago by BasedInFact ago by BasedInFact +491 / -4

Ok, I was the one in charge of mailing out all the invitations for our big, long-anticipated March 4th Insurrection tomorrow, and I just realized they're all still sitting in the trunk of my car!!!! I was going to mail these off several weeks ago, but then we had an unexpected snow storm, and the post office was closed... and well, I just fucked up.

I probably wouldn't have even remembered, as I don't check my car trunk that often, but I started noticing today all the news references to our grassroots takedown of the Deep State, and wondered why nobody around here seemed to a) be planning on going, or b) even quite know what the media was talking about!

And then I realized, oh shit, this was my fault! And after all the hard work the Qanon Club Art Department did with the graphic design - the "1/Q/3/4" theme was very clever, inspired even! I'm so sorry, guys. I'll at least recycle the invites.

Well, anyways, if you can make it tomorrow, please try. Turnout may be down, but regardless, I have no doubt we'll manage to string up at least a few Congressmen and burn down some demonic federal buildings, per Q's guidance... even if not quite as many as our planning sessions called for. And also, if everybody could, right now!, please call the three names above you and below you in the QANON directory, and urge those fellow members to make it on out tomorrow morning, that'd be awesome.

We're still planning to meet first at the Capitol, at Q-minus-9 o'clock. and then we'll all just rampage organically together from there.

Love you guys! Sorry again for me dropping the ball on this one, but I know you are all ready to bring the pain, even on such short notice, and it's going to be a blast!

QANON FOREVER,

BasedInFact

Comments (226)
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17
deleted 17 points ago +17 / -0 stickied
67
Motherofdragonbabies 67 points ago +67 / -0

If you let people know there will be punch and pie more people will come.

41
HopefulSkeptic 41 points ago +41 / -0

I only show up for Qrispy Qreme DQughnuts

22
BasedInFact [S] 22 points ago +23 / -1

And wash it down with Qatorade, the Thirst Qfixer!

16
TreadUponThem 16 points ago +16 / -0

It's got electrolytes...

13
BasedInFact [S] 13 points ago +13 / -0

Sweet! That's what I crave! (Not that I'm a plant here, or anything, because I'm 1619% not!)

But unfortunately, our refreshment budget this year only allows for water, like out the toilet.

2
CantStumpIWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

You acknowledge Trump >>>> obama right?

4
BasedInFact [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

Huh?

Are you lost?

2
CantStumpIWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

Don’t worry about it you just confirmed it for me. Take care.

9
NOI-IL-POPOLO 9 points ago +9 / -0

I think you meant Quelectrolytes. =)

7
ShmellyTunaMelt1 7 points ago +7 / -0

Ya we'll bring her...butt first!

2
GoGoOptomistic 2 points ago +2 / -0

Can’t do Qatorade sorry that’s a coke product.

9
Seafood 9 points ago +9 / -0

Punch and Pie!

8
AstronoMink 8 points ago +8 / -0

Be ready to Qmmit Qicide with the Ql-aid!

10
BasedInFact [S] 10 points ago +10 / -0

Qicide, it's not just for the Weekend anymore!

6
inspir3dgenius 6 points ago +6 / -0

Keq

8
Scarlettt 8 points ago +8 / -0

lmao

2
StayhumanMe 2 points ago +2 / -0

Ohhhh a southerner! Nice!

12
Trueastruth 12 points ago +12 / -0

With metal sprinkles?

9
BasedInFact [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

Too soon.

7
LoneWulf 7 points ago +7 / -0

I promise to fully cook the tendies!

8
RobFromTechServices 8 points ago +8 / -0

Free hat?

16
BasedInFact [S] 16 points ago +16 / -0

No free hats, freeloader. They're $17.

6
Phishhed44 6 points ago +6 / -0

I want a pink vag hat!!! Make Vag Great Again!!!

10
BasedInFact [S] 10 points ago +10 / -0

Pro-tip: It's already great. Maybe you're doing it wrong? 🤨

8
FreeMainiac 8 points ago +8 / -0

Well, 50% or so are great. The rest are attached to shrieking propaganda mouthpieces and must be discarded

8
BasedInFact [S] 8 points ago +8 / -0

Pro-tip: Ball gags.

2
FreeMainiac 2 points ago +2 / -0

You must be a pro to have the sort of zen mindset required to run enough game on such a vagina to reach the ball-gag-insertion phase. Bravo, good sir!

2
Yambag 2 points ago +2 / -0

Somebody get this man a baby

6
Moonshiner 6 points ago +6 / -0

We can meet at the Q club treehouse for some lemonade and my mom's chocolate chip cookies. Also I'll show you my sweet baseball card collection and a nudie mag my cool uncle gave me. Then we can ride our big wheel tricycles over to the insurrection.

OP is top kek. What a bunch of horseshit from the MSM.

3
SouthernHaaspitality 3 points ago +3 / -0

Viva La Resistaaance!!

31
Loquitur_Veritatem 31 points ago +31 / -0

Kek, deserves a stickie.

27
deleted 27 points ago +27 / -0
7
KickingPugilist 7 points ago +7 / -0

I'm pregaming for my st. Patty's weekend.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
6
2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
blacksmith21 2 points ago +2 / -0

My wife is a unicorn. 3rd time's a charm. She had 3 days of mild cold, 2 weeks of total loss of smell and 9 months of lingering olfactory oddities. Tested positive for antibodies via blood 4 times, positive at 8 months from initial exposure.

I do cook, but not Irish food. Not very good LOL. Plus she doesn't eat mutton, but I do.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
blacksmith21 2 points ago +2 / -0

That's exactly what it means.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
blacksmith21 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'm more of a lamb rib roast with horseradish sauce. Plus it's easier to get them in small quantity, as I'm the only one who eats it in the house. Was talking to a friend yesterday who told me he has a reaction to pork - any type. 15 min to a couple hours later, he's running for the toilet. Never heard of such a thing. Sucks to be him. Thank you for the compliment.

22
55andshocked 22 points ago +22 / -0

Wait!?! That is tomorrow?? I am so sorry I was in charge of signs and still haven't made it to the store to get a new box of crayons for them. Sorry,guess I won't get promoted to the QANON art club now

20
BasedInFact [S] 20 points ago +20 / -0

Promoted to it?!?!? You were the head of the QANON Art Division.

Well, until now.

Sheesh, this club is a freaking mess.

11
KickingPugilist 11 points ago +11 / -0

The promotion was supposed to be to Tony Podesta's art procurer!

1
Phishhed44 1 point ago +1 / -0

We need lighters and meth (as long as you’re going shopping)? Wear a muzzle you nazi!!!

4
Thwok 4 points ago +4 / -0

Don't worry, there's still time!

Just take 10 of those beautiful flyers to the Post Office Branch (tell them Piglosi sent you) and order the "Dominion Special". They'll turn them into 100 Million and have them delivered 2 weeks ago!

1
55andshocked 1 point ago +1 / -0

Dammit. Whoever is in charge of Communications sucks at their job cuz I didn't know. They need to be fired! And now I missed out on another job opportunity, Oh well, Lunchbox Joe will make it ALL better with free food and money

10
KickingPugilist 10 points ago +10 / -0

I'd lend my crayons but I ate them all :(

8
TripleBlack 8 points ago +8 / -0

I bet you lick windows, too!

5
LoneWulf 5 points ago +5 / -0

I eat paste.

4
KickingPugilist 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'd lend my crayons but I ate them all :(

6
BasedInFact [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

Twice?!?!

Slow learner, eh?

4
LoneWulf 4 points ago +4 / -0

Look who's talking. YOU forgot to mail the invites. Now, I'm going to have to get up at 2AM and run them all through the fax machine. TWICE!

1
horsefacestorm 1 point ago +1 / -0

Membership revoked!

1
CokeOrPepe 1 point ago +1 / -0

I can haz krayon?

22
Americanapplepie 22 points ago +22 / -0

Dang it! I don’t have muh storming outfit clean. I can’t go man, sorry.....

7
KickingPugilist 7 points ago +7 / -0

Just borrow your sister's pants and your mommy's boots. They're riot-approved I see all the antifas do it.

3
Americanapplepie 3 points ago +3 / -0

Done and done!

20
Totingrandmom 20 points ago +20 / -0

This will be reflected in your pay.

4
AstronoMink 4 points ago +4 / -0

Gotta save where you can when there's not enough shits to go around, kek.

2
Thwok 2 points ago +2 / -0

You're getting paid?!!! All I've gotten is this tiki torch...

15
LadyBoothall 15 points ago +15 / -0

Really good! I wondered where the invitations were. I just started to assume the post office put them in the same area they keep the extra ballots until needed.

14
Heckles 14 points ago +14 / -0

The Blue Avians are gonna be pissed, man.

12
Scarlettt 12 points ago +12 / -0

🤣🤣🤣

10
deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
2
55andshocked 2 points ago +2 / -0

Are we able to purchase the propeller beanies there?

9
camtreezy 9 points ago +9 / -0

This might be my favorite post on this site

9
Bama50 9 points ago +9 / -0

My normie co-worker asked me what was going down on the 4th. I told him its more msm lies.

8
BasedInFact [S] 8 points ago +8 / -0

Well now you know!

You guys can even go together!

It’ll be fun.

It’s definitely gonna be a habbening.

2
TreadUponThem 2 points ago +2 / -0

Every one was looking at me wierd today. This must be why.

2
Thwok 2 points ago +2 / -0

You sure it wasn't your butt-mask?

8
AmericanMonarchist 8 points ago +8 / -0

I can't wait for CNN to air this unironically as proof.

8
KeepUrFork 8 points ago +8 / -0

Did the replacement Viking horn hats come in yet? I was so bummed when there was only one in the box last time, and "Somebody" took it! You would think they would be off back-order by now!

4
TripleBlack 4 points ago +4 / -0

Covid man. It got everything screwed up. I've been trying to buy American Flag speedos for the rallies but they have been backed ordered for 3 month now!! How hard is it to make a size 54 speedo?!

8
ThinkMoose 8 points ago +8 / -0

No prob. Just back date them. You know, like a ballot or something...

2
BasedInFact [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

That's actually brilliant!

I nominate you for this job next year!

7
Peplfxr 7 points ago +7 / -0

Can we wait till its warmer outside. My rheumatism acts up in the cold

6
BasedInFact [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

Oh we'll do lot's of follow-ups. Because we're not idle chit-chatters; we're serial terrorists! We've just been hella lazy, but this stops now! Or tomorrow, at least.

And very sorry to hear about the rheumatism. Although I always thought it was only Uncle Wiggly who called it "rheumatism", and that everyone else just called it arthritis. No?

4
Peplfxr 4 points ago +4 / -0

you know uncle wiggly too?

3
BasedInFact [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

I've never actually read any of the books, but we had an Uncle Wiggly board game that we played a lot as kids. 😀

3
KickingPugilist 3 points ago +3 / -0

Rheumatism rumbles in the throat when you say it. And it sounds cool when you say it in a grizzled smoker's voice.

2
BishPeas 2 points ago +2 / -0

You spelled cereal wrong.

3
BasedInFact [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Always did.

2
Phishhed44 2 points ago +2 / -0

Squeez some Peppermint Oil for that Rheumatism!!! Meanwhile I’ll be at the sledding race. My fav books as a child...still have the set in it’s box.

6
10122046 6 points ago +6 / -0

Sorry, I’m having too much fun down here in my rabbit hole. I forgot to leave enough bread crumbs to find my wray out.

6
RustyRainBarrel 6 points ago +7 / -1

Kek, really gives perspective as to how silly this whole situation is.

Media plays it up like it's the scariest thing but can never provide any real proof of it, so it's like this unspoken thing that's just supposed to be horrible because it's just so horrible (for some reason). It's like a never-ending circle, kind of like when the MSM would just go in loops sourcing each other.

6
blacksmith21 6 points ago +6 / -0

You have no idea how funny this is. Top KEK! ANyone have any spare tiki torches?

3
TripleBlack 3 points ago +3 / -0

All out. The fuzz took mine when we marched on, shit what day was that? And why were even marching? Ummm... Hawaiian shirt day? Damn, it sucks being a Q-tard. Anyways the dadgum cops took mine!

3
BasedInFact [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

I have some citronella candles. Will those work instead?

2
blacksmith21 2 points ago +2 / -0

Are they tactical? If so, good to go.

2
LoneWulf 2 points ago +2 / -0

Only if you're a mosquito.

1
Thwok 1 point ago +1 / -0

I lit the wrong end of mine ...

6
Nightgoat77 6 points ago +6 / -0

I’m here. Where the fuck is everyone?!?!

3
Thwok 3 points ago +3 / -0

He said it's tomorrow; it's on the invite (that you haven't gotten yet). Just wait until tomorrow for the Post Office to back date your invite to have been delivered 2 weeks ago, then double-check the date at the bottom.

5
Titan42 5 points ago +5 / -0

This is hilarious. Thank you. I love this type of humor we have here

5
StormSailor 5 points ago +6 / -1

This is an unacceptable setback but can be mitigated. You need to pray to Qthulu for forgiveness and also activate your Qpon code for automatic 7-11 machine guns. We need those quad bump-stock fully automated 7-11 machine guns ready for the Ins-Erection tomorrow. Do not let us down.

1
StormSailor 1 point ago +2 / -1

Also, will there be Wendy's or KFC? Just so you know, I'm allergic to coleslaw.

3
SSConservativePride 3 points ago +3 / -0

Ya um, Qosher needed for me, should have been next to my name in the directory...

5
RandM4Freedom 5 points ago +5 / -0

My frog ate my directory. A little help with the numbers pls.

4
Thwok 4 points ago +4 / -0

(171) - 717 - 1717 is the only number you need.

5
catchlightning 5 points ago +5 / -0

i fuckin lol'd

5
v8power 5 points ago +6 / -1

"1/Q/3/4" was funny. :-)

5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
4
RachelkillsBam 4 points ago +4 / -0

I am convinced the media will dead ass use this aa proof of another planned insurrection 🤣🤣🤣

4
Bswdh 4 points ago +4 / -0

Ya let me get right on that 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

4
killerbunny88 4 points ago +4 / -0

Kek!

4
TheGin89 4 points ago +4 / -0

Oh shoot!! And I was in charge of setting up the beverage tent. D'oh!!

Now what am I going to do with all this Kool-Aid mix?!

5
BasedInFact [S] 5 points ago +5 / -0

Hey, weren't those Jim Jones' last words? 🤔

(and yes, to all you mass-murder/suicide-trivia pedants out there, yes, I know it was Flavor-Aid, and not Kool-Aid. sheesh.)

3
slokill 3 points ago +3 / -0

Was it really grape though?

3
BasedInFact [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

That, I will admit, I don't know.

I just kind of assumed it was all the flavors. 🤷‍♂️

4
bubble_bursts 4 points ago +4 / -0

The guy above me in QANON directory is listed as:

"Ferret family, hiding in Capitol Basement. Deep under cover (potentially unstable)"

I think I will skip it, just to be safe.

1
Thwok 1 point ago +1 / -0

NOOOOO! That sleeper agent cell is critical to the Boogaloo!!

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
4
pollyanna_patriot 4 points ago +4 / -0

Priceless!

3
TripleBlack 3 points ago +3 / -0

I knew it was you!! You damn slacker!! I've been following you all over this site and i knew you were no good!! I'll be watching you.

4
BasedInFact [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

Well then a simple reminder, like "Hey, mail the dang invites!" might have been helpful, you know, fren?

3
TripleBlack 3 points ago +3 / -0

Hey man, I was busy... doing... stuff. Don't put that evil on me, Ricky!

2
Thwok 2 points ago +2 / -0

When u/#BasedInFact shows up with a black-eye (on the left side), we won't blame you :) We'll just say he fell down some fist-shaped stairs!

3
slokill 3 points ago +3 / -0

Don't forget the soda BOMBS. Now, on Jan 6th, the only ones that brought guns were the police. We don't need a screw up like that again. So this time be sure to bring those 2 L bottles of soda pop AND don't forget the MENTOS. Be sure to leave the caps off the bottles when you drop the mentos in. I saw some kids do this on America's Funniest Videos and the soda just ROCKETED out of the bottle. BOOM!!! What a RIOT! Be sure to bring paper towels to clean up the mess and DISPOSE of the WASTE properly. Keep Washington D.C. clean. Well, as clean as possible considering it's a SWAMP. Hopefully the Police and FBI can catch this on film and send it in! We all need a good laugh nowadays.

1
Thwok 1 point ago +1 / -0

Make sure to wear eye-protection. We don't want another Nashville...

3
Aclemmo77 3 points ago +3 / -0

But I already printed 50 thousand "FuQ the cabal!" T shirts! It was going to be epic!

3
proverbs29_16 3 points ago +3 / -0

Darn don't forget the Qcumber salad.

4
BasedInFact [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

Please, please tell me you actually mean "Qcumber salad."

3
proverbs29_16 3 points ago +3 / -0

yeah thanks, fixed it :)

3
Taffy333 3 points ago +3 / -0

😸😸😸

I'd help with the phone calls, but I lost my QANON directory.

9
BasedInFact [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

Mods, can we get a default Deport option for "Lost assigned copy of QANON Club directory"?

Thx!

2
Taffy333 2 points ago +2 / -0

😸😸😸

Very good comeback!

2
Phishhed44 2 points ago +2 / -0

Uummm, I think it’s on Pelosi’s laptop?

3
Nevergiveup2them 3 points ago +3 / -0

Upvote for original comedy! This is why we are the greatest movement ever. We can even laugh at ourselves.

3
yldngo 3 points ago +3 / -0

Did anyone save their souvenir bricks from last summer?

3
tenthousandspoons 3 points ago +3 / -0

That's okay, OP, we forgive you....but if any of you do go, be sure to use the super-secret handshake we practiced at the meetin so we know who's legit.

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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BasedInFact [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

Oh, that would have been the ultimate costume.

Sorry I f'd up.

3
jasqid 3 points ago +3 / -0

At 4am in the morning they may magically appear for us... Just like Biden votes in 10 states.

2
Thwok 2 points ago +2 / -0

Start bursting water pipes to be sure...

3
ObviousStatementMan 3 points ago +3 / -0

Achievement Unlocked: Max Kek Sarcasm Level

3
ndividualistic 3 points ago +3 / -0

Uhm... about the directory.... I kinda forgot to tell you guys that when I was formatting it, everything got deleted. So, I never sent out the directory. My bad...

I was gonna mention it at our last meeting, but Nancy went off about the lack of Viking hats and derailed everything.

3
BasedInFact [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Oh, don’t worry; it’s fine.

It happens to the best of us.

Plus, we’ll probably save on paper if we wait until after the 4th to review and print it, because I have to imagine we’ll have some casualties tomorrow.

2
Deleted_Redacted 2 points ago +2 / -0

I will bring the johnstown koolaid, it was a killer treat last time.

also killdawg pinata.

1
Mutti2 1 point ago +1 / -0

Psst. Johnstown was the floods. Jonestown was the Flavor Ade. Come to think of it if you mixed FlavorAde with the flood water it would kill ya too ...

2
Deleted_Redacted 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wow I didnt have to explain myself. nice

2
Warren_Puffitt 2 points ago +2 / -0

Not gonna lie - The biggest reason that I was going for was to get some of that National Guard Chicken Sashimi they have there.

2
Phishhed44 2 points ago +2 / -0

I’ll come for some stimulus?