You don’t need a therapist as much as someone to help you filter out the noise (emotional conflict) in your own head. Once you remove the ‘personal’ from personal problems they become simply problems.
Logic, reason and discernment.
For example,
Which would actually devastate your children, divorced parents or dead/debilitated parents?
Knowing this truth removes the leverage your wife had gained over you with your love for your children and the threat of divorce.
Excellent suggestion! May want to contact your local church parish office (if you or your wife attend one) and get a recommendation.
Edit: It also sounds like fear on her part is driving this. Is she very somatic? Serious medical illness in her family, or unexpected death? Something is terrifying her…
to the point she is threatening divorce if I don’t get jabbed.
She’s now demanding we go to couples therapy for her mental health.
You married a rattlesnake.
As far as the vaccine goes - the choice is yours. Either you continue to risk upsetting this clear cut control freak to the point that she divorces you, or you cave.
You're in a hard place, since you have children with her - I'd have been more thorough in assessing her beliefs, but you're not me, and you were probably more trusting. Marriage isn't a simple, reversible mistake - it is a contract that Biblically should only be broken in cases of adultery. Needless to say, some people want to get to hell as fast as they can.
Your options are simple, because she is mentally unstable and will not allow you anything unless the divorce is purely a bluff:
(A) Work hard to convince a human landmine not to explode
or
(B) cave for the vaccine, hope you get the placebo, and keep everyone updated if there are side effects, and ensure that you have close contact and superior documentation to take these people down if you get the real thing and it harms you.
(C), which would be commit her to a mental institution, is probably not an option. Thank God my wife is nothing like that.
I can not emphasize enough that a person who makes threats as she has, and demands that a mental health consultant step into her life, is dangerous.
Ladypede here. Just a word of warning on caving. If you cave to this you'll be expected to cave to vaxing your kids next. Just like the government - chipping away at freedoms one step at a time.
I wasn’t awake when we were married. We both thought Obama was going to change everything. How naive I was. 2016 and p!zza gate woke me up. Followed Q from the first drops. Here we are now.
My situation is like yours, I was very left leaning and married someone similar, then I changed and she didn't. She resents me for changing my mind and not remaining static in my views.
I have resolved to wait it out until such evidence arrives that shows her what's really happening. It will upset her because her ego is strongly attached to socialism as are her friends and family. She is also a herd beast and tells me that I am wrong just because I am in the minority. I think neither is true.
Hopefully something will click soon. My mil is starting to question. She believes in masks and vaccines but is starting to question the news. A family friend got covid....he is unvaccinated.....he was really sick. Family worried he needs to be hospitalized....gets his hands on HCQ.....and miracle of all miracles....it is working. So, a little seed is planted. She is then on FB and keeps seeing these memes of mask or intubate. This gets her thinking that the Delta Variant must just awful. So, she tried to find the current intubation numbers and can't. She can only fond last year's numbers which were 20% of covid patients end up in the hospital and a small fraction are intubated. She emails me and I tell her they stopped collecting that data. This made her question how can the average Joe distinguish between facts and propaganda without this info.....not quite there yet but getting closer.
My point is, I really hope your wife has a moment of questioning soon and will start to find info for herself.
It's either dangerous getting the vax or dangerous not to. ie. one of you and your wife is right.
Can you agree with your wife on that point of logic?
If that's true then to hedge bets so there is one functioning parent available to look after the kids, the best route is one vaxxed, one not. This is the case for me and my wife (though I would rather neither of us had taken the vax of course, since I am right!)
Ha. I like your way of thinking but I know my wife won’t go for this. She thinks we can’t take vacations now or have a normal life because I won’t get vaxed. It’s literal insanity.
She is showing little respect for your position. She looks to advance by shear force...all so that life gets back to normal [for her]. She wants to throw the dice on your marriage for, at least in part, a european vacation. A flaw of shelfishness is hard to overcome.
Interestingly, some airlines are starting to refuse the vaxxed because of risk of DVT (deep vein thrombosis)
These covid restrictions may go away, but the medical risk of DVT from the vax will remain for some time so maybe she has already stymied herself for vacations. Better for her not get any more if she likes flying
Most search results say this news has been "debunked" and that no airlines have restricted or considered restricting travel due to the risk of DVT.
I think that the news was squished quickly so as not to undermine the narrative, still, if I was at increased risk of DVT, I would actually not want to travel by plane where a medical emergency would have a longer response time.
There are catholic therapist that do it for free. But be careful i went to it once for porn addiction and the therapist basically told my wife to leave me on day 1.
Dont know where you live but I'm guessing you're urban/suburban. Take a camping trip into the deep woods somewhere. Get a tent. 800-rv-4rent. or take your own if you have one. Get in the woods with as little people as possible around you. Take a walk hike etc.. Enjoy gods work it does wonders.
My comments may seem all over the place- but they come from 25 years of hard fought endurance. First, a woman has got to become aware of her biochemistry. It took me years to get my body straightened out. What food, caffeine, sugar, etc. do do a woman's hormones is ungodly. Women are walking around iron deficient, with fried adrenal glands (from stress and food), with screwed up thyroids--- I could go on and on; then they are expected to run everything and hold a full time job. It can't be done. The stress and the hormones try to rule over you. Second, humility and learning to both address issues objectively is a constant process- saying you're sorry and stepping out of emotions. Making extreme threats (WHICH IS YOUR CORE ISSUE RIGHT NOW) is what a woman does when she is trying to control a situation, and control is almost always motivated by fear- especially in a woman. You need to ask questions to understand what the fear or fears are. Then you can start to dissect and address what is underlying- instead of the surface threat. Third, it really, truly does take God to make life work. Praying with and over your wife is awkward, but miraculous. Or, if you need to start somewhere, just pray for her and tell her you are doing it. I'm going to take a stab and say that if you let her know you love her, care about her feelings, but want to lead your family into wisdom so it's important for you to weigh everything so you can protect them- that is respectable. Finally, if your wife took the jab.... this is some messed up psychology but bear with me..... she may think you taking it will make her likelihood of being okay more likely. That isn't logical, but it is the liberal mind's way: safety in numbers and social affirmation. If she thinks you believe she is in danger of deteriorating, she is more afraid it may be true. If you get v'ed, then maybe she'll be okay (is the mindset). That is also just fear talking. Denial is setting in. A lot of these people have to stay in denial because now that they have taken the v, they can't let themselves think they've been tricked and poisoned. I hope something I've shared helps you. Care for each other well- it's our burden and blessing in this life we walk together with our spouses. I will close with this: no one and I mean no one will EVER be more precious to me than my husband. In my darkest moments and with my cheapest threats I never really wanted to be without him. She may not be in a place to tell you that right now, so I told you for her.
I am of no help with your main question but if the wife wants to go on vacation in Europe then some countries do not accept US vax papers as proof of vax, and require negative covid tests and quarantine for entry from anyone without a WHO-certified card, or a digital EU vax card.
If she wants you to see a therapist for HER mental health, She's already looking for a new person to convince YOU. And if whomever you see doesn't agree with her and jump on you, what is she going to do? She needs a therapist for HER mental health all right. You need a referee.
Seriously, good luck. I'm too familiar with someone like that. I kind of lean to the spiritual counselor idea, I think they are more likely to be reconciliatory. Maybe if you are both unchurched you can still find someone with that outlook.
She has anger because she resents her mother. She needs to forgive her and you do as well as you have married your mother in her.
You’re right to distrust counselling as no one can change anyone. Only God can.
I’d highly recommend a session with Jesse Lee Peterson https://jesseleepeterson.com/about/counseling
Some people aren't ready for the truth. A wise man once said, "Disinformation is necessary." Maybe you need a temporary fake vax card until this shitshow is over.
Its a slow process and she is from a good family and was really apolitical. We have a deep connection and that over came a lot and I was willing to walk away. The red pilling really started when we watched the election fraud go down together which is painfully obvious to anyone with a brain. She had a hard time accepting that the media is lying as a former journalist. Just keep pointing out the lies. If she can’t eventually see it there is no saving the relationship though. The seeds of reason must be there. CALMLY show them the way but be willing to cut if they are too far gone. Once the damn breaks it breaks for good.
Arguing that they did the same thing to Bernie was VERY helpful..
Oh and do the therapy. We do therapy and our relationship is good. Im not sure I fully believe in it but it will make her trust you more for putting in the effort. Shit is expensive though.
Really appreciate your comments. She is actually a good decent person with a huge heart and comes from a place of love, but all these narratives have sunk their teeth in and played upon her goodness and emotions in a way that I have yet to be able to get thru.
So what does that policy mean in practice? We asked Modie about a hypothetical case where someone died from a motorcycle crash and also had COVID-19. Would that be counted as a COVID-19 death?
“It would be,” Modie explained. “But I must go back to the point about how we used this data, which is to help us track how COVID-19 is spread in the community.”
Did they do the same for flu in years past? If someone died of a motorcycle accident with symptomatic or asymptomatic flu would they be recorded as a flu death?
No.
Lockdown itself causes excess deaths:
Muh 'excess death counts' muddied by the fact that the lockdown itself caused excess deaths. People were afraid of going to the hospital, delaying treatment for serious issues and causing excess deaths:
"This stage of safety testing usually takes about 4 years. Drug companies test for mutagenicity (ability to cause genetic changes) and carcinogenicity (ability to cause cancer). The drugs are also tested to confirm that they do not cause infertility (inability to have children) or birth defects. This stage of safety testing takes many years, because it may take a long period of time for animals to develop cancer or infertility as a result of a toxic drug."
It takes years for a reason.
The whole process of human drug testing typically takes a long time:
"Clinical testing is complex and time-consuming, averaging 14 years to complete Phase I through III testing to gain FDA approval."
"Vaccine development is a long, complex process, often lasting 10-15 years and involving a combination of public and private involvement."
So it takes 10 to 15 years normally. Why is that?
Maybe because they need time to test the long term effects and don't like going around giving people untested things that were cooked up. And in this case the type of vaccine is totally new and permanently changes your cells to produce things it doesn't normally produce. Let's just give it to everyone, no long term testing needed on that. And give it to children too now. Great idea.
You don’t need a therapist as much as someone to help you filter out the noise (emotional conflict) in your own head. Once you remove the ‘personal’ from personal problems they become simply problems. Logic, reason and discernment.
For example,
Which would actually devastate your children, divorced parents or dead/debilitated parents?
Knowing this truth removes the leverage your wife had gained over you with your love for your children and the threat of divorce.
Move forward. Good luck.
Good insight and good advice.
Thank you.
Excellent suggestion! May want to contact your local church parish office (if you or your wife attend one) and get a recommendation. Edit: It also sounds like fear on her part is driving this. Is she very somatic? Serious medical illness in her family, or unexpected death? Something is terrifying her…
You married a rattlesnake.
As far as the vaccine goes - the choice is yours. Either you continue to risk upsetting this clear cut control freak to the point that she divorces you, or you cave.
You're in a hard place, since you have children with her - I'd have been more thorough in assessing her beliefs, but you're not me, and you were probably more trusting. Marriage isn't a simple, reversible mistake - it is a contract that Biblically should only be broken in cases of adultery. Needless to say, some people want to get to hell as fast as they can.
Your options are simple, because she is mentally unstable and will not allow you anything unless the divorce is purely a bluff:
(A) Work hard to convince a human landmine not to explode
or
(B) cave for the vaccine, hope you get the placebo, and keep everyone updated if there are side effects, and ensure that you have close contact and superior documentation to take these people down if you get the real thing and it harms you.
(C), which would be commit her to a mental institution, is probably not an option. Thank God my wife is nothing like that.
I can not emphasize enough that a person who makes threats as she has, and demands that a mental health consultant step into her life, is dangerous.
Ladypede here. Just a word of warning on caving. If you cave to this you'll be expected to cave to vaxing your kids next. Just like the government - chipping away at freedoms one step at a time.
I wasn’t awake when we were married. We both thought Obama was going to change everything. How naive I was. 2016 and p!zza gate woke me up. Followed Q from the first drops. Here we are now.
My situation is like yours, I was very left leaning and married someone similar, then I changed and she didn't. She resents me for changing my mind and not remaining static in my views.
I have resolved to wait it out until such evidence arrives that shows her what's really happening. It will upset her because her ego is strongly attached to socialism as are her friends and family. She is also a herd beast and tells me that I am wrong just because I am in the minority. I think neither is true.
I totally get where you are coming from.
Hopefully something will click soon. My mil is starting to question. She believes in masks and vaccines but is starting to question the news. A family friend got covid....he is unvaccinated.....he was really sick. Family worried he needs to be hospitalized....gets his hands on HCQ.....and miracle of all miracles....it is working. So, a little seed is planted. She is then on FB and keeps seeing these memes of mask or intubate. This gets her thinking that the Delta Variant must just awful. So, she tried to find the current intubation numbers and can't. She can only fond last year's numbers which were 20% of covid patients end up in the hospital and a small fraction are intubated. She emails me and I tell her they stopped collecting that data. This made her question how can the average Joe distinguish between facts and propaganda without this info.....not quite there yet but getting closer.
My point is, I really hope your wife has a moment of questioning soon and will start to find info for herself.
Thanks. Appreciate your words.
Here's a talking point:
It's either dangerous getting the vax or dangerous not to. ie. one of you and your wife is right.
Can you agree with your wife on that point of logic?
If that's true then to hedge bets so there is one functioning parent available to look after the kids, the best route is one vaxxed, one not. This is the case for me and my wife (though I would rather neither of us had taken the vax of course, since I am right!)
Ha. I like your way of thinking but I know my wife won’t go for this. She thinks we can’t take vacations now or have a normal life because I won’t get vaxed. It’s literal insanity.
She is showing little respect for your position. She looks to advance by shear force...all so that life gets back to normal [for her]. She wants to throw the dice on your marriage for, at least in part, a european vacation. A flaw of shelfishness is hard to overcome.
Interestingly, some airlines are starting to refuse the vaxxed because of risk of DVT (deep vein thrombosis)
These covid restrictions may go away, but the medical risk of DVT from the vax will remain for some time so maybe she has already stymied herself for vacations. Better for her not get any more if she likes flying
I'll find a link if I can.
https://www.armstrongeconomics.com/international-news/disease/vaccinated-people-told-not-to-travel/
Most search results say this news has been "debunked" and that no airlines have restricted or considered restricting travel due to the risk of DVT.
I think that the news was squished quickly so as not to undermine the narrative, still, if I was at increased risk of DVT, I would actually not want to travel by plane where a medical emergency would have a longer response time.
I like the way you think, fren.
Wife and momma over here. Tell that woman to sit down and shut up! You’re the man of the house and leader over the family!
There are catholic therapist that do it for free. But be careful i went to it once for porn addiction and the therapist basically told my wife to leave me on day 1.
Ask your wife if she would have had an abortion just because you had insisted or you would have divorced if she hadn't.
It's a pretty clear parallel imho.
Dont know where you live but I'm guessing you're urban/suburban. Take a camping trip into the deep woods somewhere. Get a tent. 800-rv-4rent. or take your own if you have one. Get in the woods with as little people as possible around you. Take a walk hike etc.. Enjoy gods work it does wonders.
My comments may seem all over the place- but they come from 25 years of hard fought endurance. First, a woman has got to become aware of her biochemistry. It took me years to get my body straightened out. What food, caffeine, sugar, etc. do do a woman's hormones is ungodly. Women are walking around iron deficient, with fried adrenal glands (from stress and food), with screwed up thyroids--- I could go on and on; then they are expected to run everything and hold a full time job. It can't be done. The stress and the hormones try to rule over you. Second, humility and learning to both address issues objectively is a constant process- saying you're sorry and stepping out of emotions. Making extreme threats (WHICH IS YOUR CORE ISSUE RIGHT NOW) is what a woman does when she is trying to control a situation, and control is almost always motivated by fear- especially in a woman. You need to ask questions to understand what the fear or fears are. Then you can start to dissect and address what is underlying- instead of the surface threat. Third, it really, truly does take God to make life work. Praying with and over your wife is awkward, but miraculous. Or, if you need to start somewhere, just pray for her and tell her you are doing it. I'm going to take a stab and say that if you let her know you love her, care about her feelings, but want to lead your family into wisdom so it's important for you to weigh everything so you can protect them- that is respectable. Finally, if your wife took the jab.... this is some messed up psychology but bear with me..... she may think you taking it will make her likelihood of being okay more likely. That isn't logical, but it is the liberal mind's way: safety in numbers and social affirmation. If she thinks you believe she is in danger of deteriorating, she is more afraid it may be true. If you get v'ed, then maybe she'll be okay (is the mindset). That is also just fear talking. Denial is setting in. A lot of these people have to stay in denial because now that they have taken the v, they can't let themselves think they've been tricked and poisoned. I hope something I've shared helps you. Care for each other well- it's our burden and blessing in this life we walk together with our spouses. I will close with this: no one and I mean no one will EVER be more precious to me than my husband. In my darkest moments and with my cheapest threats I never really wanted to be without him. She may not be in a place to tell you that right now, so I told you for her.
Thank you for sharing that. I truly appreciate it.
I am of no help with your main question but if the wife wants to go on vacation in Europe then some countries do not accept US vax papers as proof of vax, and require negative covid tests and quarantine for entry from anyone without a WHO-certified card, or a digital EU vax card.
If she wants you to see a therapist for HER mental health, She's already looking for a new person to convince YOU. And if whomever you see doesn't agree with her and jump on you, what is she going to do? She needs a therapist for HER mental health all right. You need a referee.
Haha. Sounds about right.
Seriously, good luck. I'm too familiar with someone like that. I kind of lean to the spiritual counselor idea, I think they are more likely to be reconciliatory. Maybe if you are both unchurched you can still find someone with that outlook.
no and hell fucking no.
She has anger because she resents her mother. She needs to forgive her and you do as well as you have married your mother in her. You’re right to distrust counselling as no one can change anyone. Only God can. I’d highly recommend a session with Jesse Lee Peterson https://jesseleepeterson.com/about/counseling
Just make sure everybody stops drinking asap. Sounds like your wife is being controlled by her emotions. That's what drunks do.
Some people aren't ready for the truth. A wise man once said, "Disinformation is necessary." Maybe you need a temporary fake vax card until this shitshow is over.
I took my wife from SF lib to watching Europa AMA
Please enlighten me. How’d you do it?
Its a slow process and she is from a good family and was really apolitical. We have a deep connection and that over came a lot and I was willing to walk away. The red pilling really started when we watched the election fraud go down together which is painfully obvious to anyone with a brain. She had a hard time accepting that the media is lying as a former journalist. Just keep pointing out the lies. If she can’t eventually see it there is no saving the relationship though. The seeds of reason must be there. CALMLY show them the way but be willing to cut if they are too far gone. Once the damn breaks it breaks for good.
Arguing that they did the same thing to Bernie was VERY helpful..
Oh and do the therapy. We do therapy and our relationship is good. Im not sure I fully believe in it but it will make her trust you more for putting in the effort. Shit is expensive though.
Really appreciate your comments. She is actually a good decent person with a huge heart and comes from a place of love, but all these narratives have sunk their teeth in and played upon her goodness and emotions in a way that I have yet to be able to get thru.
Thanks would certainly be complicated with kids. Good luck sir.
Prepare a document full of memes and articles:
Memes
https://i.imgur.com/YHt7Kh8.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/n3CY01b/Ed-Ooz-YNWk-AATY-v.jpg
Doctor Says Vaccine Dangerous:
https://www.northsidesun.com/columns-local-news-opinion/opinion-covid-vaccine-not-safe#sthash.kPdzYvvu.dpbs
Questionable padded Covid death rate statistics include people who died 'with' Covid and not 'of' Covid
https://www.kgw.com/article/news/investigations/questions-over-the-accuracy-of-how-the-state-tracks-covid-deaths/283-0b1b7b6c-695e-4313-92cf-a4cfd7510721
Same method in Australia: https://theconversation.com/died-from-or-died-with-covid-19-we-need-a-transparent-approach-to-counting-coronavirus-deaths-145438
Many similar quotes: https://www.foxnews.com/us/as-u-s-coronavirus-death-toll-mounts-so-does-the-belief-it-is-exaggerated
Illinois admits the same method: https://week.com/2020/04/20/idph-director-explains-how-covid-deaths-are-classified/
Dr. Birx admits the method: https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2020/04/08/dr_birx_unlike_some_countries_if_someone_dies_with_covid-19_we_are_counting_that_as_a_covid-19_death.html
Did they do the same for flu in years past? If someone died of a motorcycle accident with symptomatic or asymptomatic flu would they be recorded as a flu death?
No.
Lockdown itself causes excess deaths:
Muh 'excess death counts' muddied by the fact that the lockdown itself caused excess deaths. People were afraid of going to the hospital, delaying treatment for serious issues and causing excess deaths:
https://www.kxl.com/study-shows-increase-in-non-covid-deaths-during-pandemic/
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2778361
Drug and vaccine creation usually takes long period of time, pushed out to the public in months:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK24645/
Drug Animal Testing:
It takes years for a reason.
The whole process of human drug testing typically takes a long time:
Typical vaccine development:
https://www.historyofvaccines.org/content/articles/vaccine-development-testing-and-regulation
So it takes 10 to 15 years normally. Why is that?
Maybe because they need time to test the long term effects and don't like going around giving people untested things that were cooked up. And in this case the type of vaccine is totally new and permanently changes your cells to produce things it doesn't normally produce. Let's just give it to everyone, no long term testing needed on that. And give it to children too now. Great idea.
Wait, anyone here want to just fake it for a session, to help a fren out? lol
"Uhh hi yes I'm Dr. Duck...."
Ha. Funny. But you’ll have to setup a website, the whole 9.