I made a post at the beginning of March begging for prayers, then updated a few times about the rollercoaster this has been. My last post about my mother dubbed "Grandma Anon", I said she hadn't woken up from a good day she had and well, we found out last Friday it was because she had suffered another complication.
TL:DR we need more prayers for her healing, she suffered major damage and we have a long road ahead of us.
We met with doctors last Friday that gave us a gut punch of a prognosis. Up until this point, we knew my mother suffered the mother of all brain aneurysms and was lucky to be alive, but she had only sustained damage to one spot on her brain. We figured we could work with that. But her most recent complication caused a lot of infarction, meaning it died off a lot of her brain. They told us she would likely need 24 hr care and not be able to feed or dress herself. Then, they tell us that it's up to us if she wants to live like this. They gave us the option to take away her life giving resources like feeding tube and water.
Now, my Mom is 73. She's not exactly really old. She was full of life and spunky, pretty decent health, very independent, although pretty dependent on my dad as that's how their relationship is. But, to take away her life because she would be severely disabled seems super evil to me. It felt so wrong in that room that they even suggested it. "Would your mother want to live like this?" They kept asking. And they just say it's very likely she'll be severely disabled, they couldn't give us any stats to back it up, etc. The term they kept using was "we'd be very surprised if she got very much better." At one point I directly asked the nuerosurgeon, "Are you telling me my mother is only going to shit and piss herself the rest of her life??" He seemed startled by that question and admitted she would gain more abilities.
We're Catholic Christian, pro-life. So we know and my mother knew that suffering was a part of life, and in many cases it's a mysterious blessing. I mean of course we don't want our mother to be a drooling catatonic disabled person, but we really don't think she will. Even if she's aware and can talk to us but can't wipe her own butt, we're ok with that. She's already woken up and talked to us and even though she's not consistent with a lot of things, we know she just needs time to heal and form new pathways. Her life has value. Period.
It sickens me the amount of people who probably hear such a thing and just say, go ahead and let them die. My own brother said that in the meeting. He since has come around and realized he fell for their bullshit.
My family is also researchers. And my sister found a scientific article about this prognosis model they follow when a person has a severe stroke and it verifies what I had felt and thought. The neurologist and ICU team don't follow up with the severe patients long term. They are also very pessimistic when it comes to a bad stroke, nurses are even more pessimistic, which we saw. They're also not trained in rehabilitation, they just treat and do life saving surgeries. They are just looking at stats. And these stats shove in the fact that many families take the easy road and take away their life sustaining treatments. Or the person is real old so they don't take them to a good rehab facility, just kind of half-ass it. So when they say a certain percentage of people die from a severe brain aneurysm after a month, it's because a certain percentage of families decided to not wait and see, they allowed them to die.
I'm also having trouble not being angry with the ICU team. When my mother had her good day before this last scary episode, she was very alert, talking doing very well, doing commands, had pretty good ability, and they told me she would be out of ICU in a day. She was still in the danger zone for the vasospasms she had just suffered the week prior, which they had treated very quickly. This time last time though, they took 3 whole days to discover it and once discovered, I think the damage had been done because they didn't do any treatment other than raise her blood pressure. It is kind of hard to catch a vasospasm with a scan because it needs to happen during the scan. However, the way they discovered it was by putting dye in her blood stream, which didn't happen for 3 days. In that time, my mother suffered worse damage than the original bleed. They kept reiterating in the meeting how severe her original bleed and subsequent complication was and I just feel like they didn't use much caution after that first storm had passed. After her good day before the damage, they lowered her blood pressure while simultaneously cutting off the flow of her drain, which was draining her spinal fluid. They do that to make sure your body can reabsorb spinal fluid naturally, otherwise they have to do another surgery. It's probably standard procedure with normal cases. But with my mom, it caused more pressure and less blood flow. Which is what causes vasospasms in turn causing her to have brain damage. And honestly, I don't even know if it was vasospasms because one doctor told us he didn't think it was, so there was some disagreement amongst doctors of what had happened. So to be honest, I think they messed up. Because when I incredulously brought up how most of her damage happened in that time, they seemed very defensive in their strategy to find out what was happening. OR, perhaps I just feel the need to blame someone.
I guess I just need to vent to strangers on the internet. And request more prayers. This has been hard news to tell people as we almost feel foolish from having hope she can recover more than what they predict. People in lab coats can do that. But, we're strangely optimistic and have faith and hope she can surprise these doctors and nurses. Maybe even walk or roll into that ICU and do her movie star waive she always liked to do and say "remember me?"
Please pray for her healing. She could encounter other complications to other organs or something could else happen. We are putting a feeding tube in her stomach until she regains better ability to swallow. Pray for us to remain strong and faithful.
Yes. I will pray for her daily. And you are doing what is best for her. My sister (remember me telling you) was in bad shape too. She was 48 at the time. The surgeons gathered us all into a conference room and bluntly stated what they thought would be her outcome. They said she would 'possibly' never talk, never have a memory, be bedridden, need continual care, lose all her faculties and perhaps be on a feeding tube. Then they asked us would we like her to quietly pass on. Her only son agreed to pull the plug. But I spoke up and said, "She was my sister before she was your Mother. So NO, we are going to give her a fighting chance."
She is in a wheelchair and paralyzed down one side, but she gets up occasionally and holds her balance long enough to have a quick dance. She cleans her own house except for her ceiling fans which she has her son clean. She can talk, she has memory of everything, even what happened to her. And if we'd have let her go, she would never known her grandchildren and her new great-grandchild. She enjoys her life and lights up the room to let everyone know how precious life is. So I'm glad I said what I said to her son that day. And all my siblings and his only sister agreed with me. We left it at God's feet. And she is doing well even after having lost her husband on March 16th.
Dear Father in Heaven, We pray today for meekturtle's mother who is in need of your healing power. We pray you mend all areas of her body and mind that need healing. Give her the strength she needs to fight and the spirit of your joy of living to help her heal. We have not because we ask not, you said dear Lord. And so Lord, today we are asking in the name of Jesus for her complete healing. We thank you and praise you Lord for all things as we remember that by his stripes we are healed. Bless you Lord. Amen.
Thank you so much for telling me your story and for your prayers! So many people tell us that the doctors told them one thing then they turned around and surprised them.
That was another thing this article my sister found went into. Those who live on with disabilities, when asked if they were glad they were alive, they always say yes. So when they ask "would your mother want to live like that?" The answer always is yes! It's called the disability paradox where those who are disabled are actually happier than those who are not.
Amen. And my sister lives each day like it is her last. So I will continue to pray for your mother. She sounds like a great lady. God bless and keep us updated.
She sure is. I'll never forget the day we were driving back from somewhere, she was in my passenger side seat and she goes, "have you heard about Q?"
That was in 2018. It took me a little bit to look into it but it got my curiosity rolling. As a self-proclaimed researcher I wanted to find the direct source of these Q posts and that's when I discovered the first front line researchers, sharing images of the posts. If it hadn't been for my boomer mama I wouldn't have known about it.
Ah! So your mama is a boomer too. Yes, nothing much gets past us boomers. Kek!
I am claiming thus same blessing and outcome for my 49 year old son-in-law. Stroke last week was followed by brain bleed with sugery to reduce pressure...now waiting on Father's mercy.
Prayers up for him too.
Amen. We will all be linked in prayer for him as well. We will claim a healing in the name of Jesus.
Prayers to you too! It's so hard and scary. He's young and will pull through.
🙏
(((Big hugs))). May the Good Lord bless your son-in-law by healing his body in a timely manner.
Amen.
Amen.
Thank you for posting about your sister. I felt as if this only happened to my family. It is a comfort to read God's healing your sister. May the Good Lord bless Meekturtle's mom with healing.
You're welcome.
I pray for her to be healed. I believe in all sorts of miracles happening, especially during these times. I have seen them with my own eyes. Love and blessings to all of your family too!
Thank you!! She's still here for a reason. Perhaps to prove miracles still exist especially to these secular doctors and nurses.
So true. I remember when I was in my early 20's I was going home on leave and it was about a 4-5 hour drive home. I signed out at midnight and took off. I was somewhere around south of San Antonio and was nodding and fell asleep at the wheel. I rolled my car 5 times ( counted by the scuffs of paint on the road) the only way I knew. I slid about 75 feet on the roof and was hanging upside down when the car stopped moving. There was debris everywhere and I walked away without a scratch. When my parents showed up to get me they wanted to see the car so we went to the yard it was taken to and when I walked in the door The Tow truck driver's mom told me when I get home I needed to have a talk with GOD because there was a reason I was still here. She said she had seen so many wreck far less than mine a people died. I take that day as my Awakening and have been every since then. Strange thing that night i had a seatbelt on and in those days I never put one on
Indeed my fren! You are here for a reason and you survived that for a reason. Angles protected you.
Probably!
This is the time of many miracles. Have faith. I know for sure that a person can rewire their brain. It just takes repetitive training.
Amen! We believe this too!
Several years ago my mom suffered a fall that broke all her ribs on one side. That turned into emergency spleen surgery, sepsis, on and off the vent, etc. I was literally pressured to sign a DNR for her. She spent 5 months in 3 hospitals. When she finally got out I moved her into a senior living complex near me. There she met a man that became her boyfriend. Fast forward a couple months and Mom & bf went to the casino for the weekend. I went by the first hospital she was in to pick up her records. I decided to visit the ICU she was in. The nurse that pressured me to sign a DNR (and who told me I was "cruel" for not doing it) saw me come in and fixed a hang-dog look on her face, no doubt pity because she just knew I was coming to tell her my mom had passed. I went up to her and told her I was just in the neighborhood to pick up Mom's records while she was out of town with her boyfriend at the casino. The shock on her face was delicious. I said, "Don't ever tell people what you told me because that is not your place and you are not God." She apologized profusely and I'd like to think she's a better nurse for it. Put your trust in God alone.
I’m so happy to hear your story!! So happy she made it and is doing well.
It’s like they used their standard hospital protocols for worst cases and put it on steroids during Covid. There’s a reason we don’t trust these people.
Well sadly she passed peacefully in 2013 but the last 5 years of her life were amazing! Meanwhile during covid my mother-in-love got a hip replacement at 96. It was a miracle they let her caretaker stay with her the whole time (and I was able to sneak in past their covid police to visit 3 times). The caretaker told me much later that she got the impression the hospital didn't really expect her to survive and seemed like they just wanted to turf her out of there. The doctor's jaw dropped when she walked into his office for her year check up. Nothing can top the power of prayer.
Oh, I'm sorry she has passed. But happy she lived 5 more happy years!! That is so right about the power of prayer. He does hear us, he changes his plans based on it. That's for sure!
Amen. God is great.
My husband suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm at the age of 58, from which he recovered. He was on a drug called Nimodipine (Nemotop) for 3-4 weeks, which was to prevent vasospasm. I wonder if your mom was on this drug. I also want to praise your pro-life stance for your mother. I believe that God has a plan for each of us. Who is to say that the life of someone in even a vegetative state is meaningless? What if all that person can do is pray and talk to God? At the very very least, persons in such a state teach the rest of us care and compassion for one another. God bless your sweet mother and your family during this period of pain and suffering.
Yes, she was. In fact they had to surgically put some on directly into her brain. But they stopped the treatment at 3 weeks. She had vasopasms after the stopped the treatment. She was very severe case. I think we feel foolish too, because they weren't very direct with us on that fact. They made it seem like she was recovering in her own way and would eventually get out of it.
And I agree on the vegetative state as well! They also wake up at some point. I read a miracle story of a woman who was in a vegetative state for 3 months after a brain aneurysm and her husband fought doctors to keep her alive and also to give her rehabilitation. But, once he found an alternative therapist who used this thing called the powerplate on her, she regained a lot of functions and can drive a car, play piano, and garden. She was about my mom's age. I think most of it is support and love is what gets people through.
Dear God wrap your hands around this person and heal her.
In your sons name Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen. Thank you 🙏🏻
We will continue to pray for her. I had a severe concussion (wiped out a large chucnk of my memory, vocabulary & a few other things.
I had seen many specialists that told me I was as good as I was going to get. Then we were introduced to Cognitive FX in Provo Utah. They are on the cutting edge of brain function rehabilitation. I was amazed that there were some individuals from Norway & learned patients come frequently from there because the word ofouth keeps them coming. The treatment center give individualized cognitive training for the specific parts of your brain that get damaged, this is determined by an FMRI.
I hovered around 70% normal functionality for almost 4 years & when we found Cognitive FX I got back to where I personally feel like I am at 95-99% of my previous mental function almost all the time, outside of too little sleep for a few days or when my sugars go low.
I cannot recommend them strongly enough for any brain injury from personal recovery esperience.
I am not a 70+ year old lady, though they claimed the older ladies that went in before I had heard of them were making claims that they cad not thought so clearly since they were in their 20s (though that may have been in reference to brain injuries they had in their 20s, I don't know).
I hope this helps you & my children still pray for my meek turule friend at ever meal & scripture study time we have. Keep going guys, through this trial you will build the strength & knowledge that only comes in times like these.
You are absolutely correct, these guys don't know recovery sciences IMO & brain damage recovery has improved a tremendous amount in the last decade alone.
Thank you for your continued prayers and your story! We are looking into the number one place for brain rehab in the country, Shirley Ryan. If that doesn't work, we will look into Cognitive FX, thank you for suggesting it!
You are very welcome. I just hope my children continue to consider others & ask God for help as they get older. Cognitive FX was truly a God send for my own recovery. The tests simply show exactly which rehab exercises are needed & every single one of those exercises is tailored in a way to help the specific individual.
I hope your family becomes much closer & stronger for this.
Prayers sent, anon friend. God bless your faith and the faith of your family. I also applaud your attitude.
Thank you 🙏🏻
My father lived 7 years longer than the doctors predicted, and he had multiple health issues -- stroke and bleeding on the brain being just two of them.
I won't kid you -- it's not easy being a caregiver. Not one bit. That being said, I have never regretted taking care of him. He was at home and he was happy.
If I had a dollar for every time the doctors told me, "He's old and he's lived a good, long life. Perhaps it's time to let him go," I'd be rich.
Also, physical therapy can do wonders when the patient is willing.
Prayers for all of you, fren. Take your concerns to God, then listen for His Voice. 🙏🏼
Thank you fren, and God bless you for taking care of your father, despite it being difficult. 🙏🏻
I will pray with you some more.
Lifting you and your family and Grandma Anon's caregivers up now. As I was praying for other healing this morning I was reminded that God completes what He starts. May His comfort and assurance guide you.
🙏
🙏🏻 Amen! Thank you for your kind words and prayers.
There is always hope and I’m shocked that they want to remove food and water. You may want to reach out to your local Catholic diocese for some help and advice from the Catholic perspective. You obviously love your Mom very much and are doing the best you can for her. Your Mom is lucky to have you.
“Jesus, I trust in you.”
It seems like a muted form of euthenasia. Felt so wrong. This has been so hard and once in prayer, I had this image of Jesus on the choppy sea, reaching his hand out to me to come to him. The sea was what the doctors were saying, the sight of my mother unable to speak or walk, and I had to reach out and trust Him. And it took so long to imagine myself doing that, walking out to him when it felt like the sea was going to swallow me up. But once I did it, it strengthened me even more. Now I don't hesitate to reach out to HIm.
That’s a beautifully reassuring image, very powerful, confirmation that Jesus is with you. It’s the hardest thing to make these decisions, but you are doing your best and doing it with love. As for the withholding of food and water being a muted form of anesthesia. Of course that is true, she can’t live without food and water.
Meek, my prayers are with your Mom and with your family. Several years ago, my then 50 yr. old goddaughter had an intracerebral hemorrhagic stroke. The docs prognosis was grim - bedridden, diapers, etc.. Today, she can get around with a walker and no diapers. Her speech is still slurred but she is doing 100% better than the doctors said she would do.
Thank you for your prayers and for your story 🙏🏻 it seems they’re always wrong, I have yet to hear a story where they were spot on.
For Mother a speedy and complete recovery thru Gods grace and the Mercy of Our Lord Jesus…..for strength, comfort and guidance for your family.🙏🙏🙏
Amen. Thank you 🙏🏻
Former SLP who worked with brain injured individuals. Also worked as a swallowing therapist in nursing homes.
FWIW I would not remove her hydration tube. Food can often disrupt a person’s system but water is essential to stay hydrated and to live. I’ve seen what happens when patients are left to die from thirst. It takes awhile and is not pleasant to see. If hydration is left the person may still die but they will be much more comfortable.
Keep in mind if there are no other brain injuries (which can occur) there is some healing of brain tissue over time. The most recovery is 6 months but it can continue over a year or more. A person is able to compensate for some of the damage depending on their intelligence and knowledge prior to injury.
Also doctors are going to give you the worst case scenario no matter what the diagnosis.
And no matter what they say miracles can and do happen. My own sister was written off 3X while in the ICU for almost four months. She survived it by the grace of God. We, too, are RC. I had another sibling who visited and told the doctors that if God wants to save my sister He can.
Multiple pray chains, rosaries along with anointing her with holy oil blessed by Padre Pio and holy water sprinkles assisted in her miraculous survival.
I will keep mom anon in my prayers especially this week during my recitation of the Divine Mercy Novena. God bless mom anon, you and her family
Oh my! Thank you so much and thank you for your perspective and story. 🙏🏻
How did you get the blessed St Padre Pio oil? I was wondering about relics. Thank you for including her in your Divine Mercy Novena. She’s in mine too. In fact the chaplain visited her today on his own to pray with her and she was able to do the sign of the cross and sluggishly prayed along with him.
I don’t know where my sister had gotten the oil from but all I know is she said it was the last she had.
I found some that’s blessed with Padre Pio relic online. Thank you for the idea!
I'll pray for your mom and say a rosary for healing for her. You're doing the right thing to give her this chance to improve. It's obvious she's not finished yet. God bless you and your family, fren.
Thank you so much!🥹
Prayers just went up.
Thank you 🙏
Prayers on the way fren.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Meekturtle, keep praying and wait on the Lord. Btw, we aren’t a bunch of strangers on the internet. We are your REAL friends and your extended family. Always remember that. We’ve been praying for Grandma Anon often. We love you and we are asking Jesus for a miracle for our boomer anon! We need her in the fight, Lord. If it be Your will, please let it be done. Amen.
Awe thank you 🥹💗 I came here before even real life friends so yes, I know you’re all my soul family in my heart. We’re all awake in this crazy spiritual war and I know you all would understand and offer support and prayer that I need. The spiritual war hit us hard in my family’s personal lives this last month. We were all pretty faithful Catholic Christian’s. So we had a hard time wondering why he was allowing it to happen to us. It’s taken so much prayer and meditating on Christ’s own suffering to have these epiphanies and graces to get us through. We had moments of weakness, but we’re picking up our crosses and following Him. Only thing that doesn’t make sense that makes sense right now.
Jesus is the only way. Especially when nothing else makes any sense. This is where faith is needed, when we can’t see the reasons. Your faith is strong! God has you in the palm of His hand, no matter what happens. Stay strong, fren. We are here with you, always.
Amen.
So sorry about your Mom. Don't give up. Bless the doctors. They only know what they have been taught. AND THEY DO NOT CONSIDER THE LORD STEPPING IN AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR AND COMPLETELY HEALING YOUR MOM. My husband had a brain aneurysm in 1986. No one thought he would live. BUT, thanks be to Jesus, the Holy Spirit woke my "praying" friend up and told her to go to her prayer place and pray in the Spirit. She did. She later said she knew it was a life and death matter, but she was not told who she as praying for. Later that day, when my son called to tell her what had happened to his dad and ask her to pray, she said, "I already prayed for 5 hours very early this morning and your dad will be okay". My husband is now well into his eighties and has never even been back to a doctor concerning this aneurysm....never. One verse I would recommend you saying over and over and over and over. Speak to the mountain........make it personal just for her. My mother will not die but live and declare the works of the Lord. Confess life and wholeness over her. Do it everyday.......thousands of time, because the Bible says we can have what we say. God gave all power to Jesus and Jesus turned around and gave us this same God kind of power to His people.....to His church, the Body of Christ. Another verse is this,....with long life He will satisfy me and show me his
salvation. Make it personal putting in "he will satisfy my mother". Learning to SPEAK TO THE MOUNTAIN IN A PERSONS LIFE WILL BRING ABOUT THE MIRACLE WORKING POWER OF GOD. We don't have to beg God to do something for us. Jesus said it is finished on the cross......He did everything that would ever need to be done. He gave us everything that pertains to LIFE and Godliness. We have what we say, so start saying the result you want and not the negative thing that you have at the moment. GOD's WORD WORKS, but you have to PUT THE WORD TO WORK using you mouth and your words. Read Mark 16:15-16 you will notice what we Christians are suppose to be doing and that GOD WILL WORK WITH US CONFIRMING HIS WORD, THE BIBLE, WITH SIGNS FOLLOWING. Don't be moved by what you see........keep trusting Jesus. We will be praying for you all. Just remember that God sometimes gives us a MIRACLE which takes place in an instant. At other times He gives us a healing which is a SPEEDED UP NATURAL PROCESS. Don't grow weary in well doing for you will reap in due season if you "faint not". Don't give up.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayer! 🙏🏻 I see fruits of my prayers and from others already.
(((Big hugs))). Dec, 2022, my siblings and I had to decide the fate of our sister. She had an ischemic stroke on Christmas day. She never woke up. This was very hard on all of us. Still feeling the severe loss daily. Your mom is the same age of my sister. (Or if my sis was still alive, they would be the same age). My sister took the clot shot, flu shots, etc. She was doing what her doctor told her was what the best for all. I have researched a lot of how a strict carnivore diet coupled with water fasting does a lot of healing to a human body.
I am so sorry you and your family have to deal with this situation. Daily prayers for you and your family. Thank you for giving us here updates. May God put an extra layer or two of protection and healing on your mom.
What a heartbreaking decision. Prayers to you too 🙏🏻
She is still in my prayers. Thanks for the update.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Praying for you all.
I just prayed for her and wrapped a white light of protection around just her, then expanded it to include the hospital and all the way to her to home for when she wakes and leaves the hospital.
Keep us posted on how she does.
Thank you 🙏🏻 she’s already awake and swallowing melting ice cubes, she pulled my sister to her and kissed her. She’s doing more each day! Small things and gradual.
Wonderful!