The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so good on ya for that. I think it helps to know that porn is pushed on the population for our demise, not our benefit. Also, you need a wholesome substitute, so focus on something else that you really enjoy that is good for your body and soul. And finally and most importantly, if you want it, you have God's forgiveness and his strength to rely on when you can't do it yourself.
man to man its the worst addiction out there. you wont be able to maintain a relationship until you stop, you shouldnt try, focus on yourself first. just do pushups or a jog or literally anything else when you get the urge, 1st month or 2 will be tough but it gets easier once you notice the benefits of quitting. your mind is clearer and confidence higher while shame levels are lower. good luck you can do it
Thanks Matt. I already have a blind double date setup with my best friend and his girlfriend this Saturday. Gonna see how it goes but yeah. Today is Day #1 of seriously trying to quit. I've "tried" like a few times before but never put any serious work into it. Thank you for your sympathy and advice.
Holy hell I do the same thing! I workout until failure though (can't beat your meat if your body feels like it's gonna split itself on an atomic level) and actually lost alot of weight. I often joke to my friends that I "Can't titty fuck anymore. My sugar tits are becoming muscle tits.". Got more stamina and energy.
I first watched porn around 11 years old at the start of puberty thanks to the internet. I never got morning wood during high school. I had insanely weird dreams all the time. It caused a ton of damage in my life and I just accepted the mainstream notion that it was "normal" and even "healthy". It's not.
I haven't watched anything in several years. I am over 30 now and I get morning wood that is like a diamond cutter. How do you explain that? I have energy to climb mountains and I exude positive energy. I could go on and on.
I mean. Ever since 13 ive always had that energy but it wasn't because i wasn't watching porn. It was because i started riding bike. Specifically bmx. It not only gave me a workout it also gave me a goal to work towards. Doing healthy things and actually going out there and putting in effort is what gets you far. Porn didnt do that your own inaction did that.
Porn is free because its easy to make and what you just said is true. It can be dangerous when it interferes with life. How does that happen? Well. You let it happen just like any addiction. Its a simple concept everyone here is failing to acknowledge
There are many kinds of people in the world some of them handle porn (or swinging) and relationships fine, and some do not, so don't mind some of the comments in here. Too many people try to simplify things there's nothing simple about it.
If porn doesn't cause you problems, maybe this isn't the discussion for you. You are spending a lot of time defending porn for someone who doesn't have a problem with it
Blaming things on your short comings is smooth brain. Theres many people who tried that no porn or no fap shit only to realise that success comes from the actions you make and not the things you stop doing.
Excuse me but do you know me? Did you live my life?
Truth hurts doesnt it. "Ohhh waaaa my life is shit it must be because im addcited to porn"
No your life is shit because after you get your rocks off you didnt get up and do something. No amount of fasting or any of that self help bullshit isnt going to get you anywhere. You know what gets you somewhere? Doing something. Stop bitching and moaning and do some Q research atleast. This shit is a waste of time and you know it
You two both have some good points that are not necessarily contradictory when you examine the underlying intent behind both of you. We are all frens here.
Well aware. I've watched several videos on this matter. John Doyle and Steven Crowder made me want to quit and today it the first day of actually trying. God help me.
I think we’ve all been there in some form. I think that we never realized the psychological impact of it until you understand how it molds our behaviors to emulate the fantasy that porn is how real sex is, which it isn’t. It places unattainable standards to sex and relationships, real healthy and loving relationships. And as we can see, the degenerative components implemented are killing what constitutes what a real relationship is. I would never ask the woman I love and have a child with to have sex with another man or woman. Fantasy is just that, fantasy. But making a fantasy a reality is oftentimes detrimental to all involved. You’ll find your way, admitting the problem is the first step. ??
Stuff I watched wasn't very far fetched and it was relatively tame but yeah I get what you mean. But the fact was that I was playing with my pecker to someone else having sex and not myself. Like my subconscious would rather do this than the real thing.
Absolutely. And just like an addiction, you’re always chasing the dragon. You start out small and over time you work your way up. For example, I started many many years ago with Playboy, then Hustler, then on and on(this was pre-internet), around middle school age(91-92 or so). Then it just grows like a vine. Same thing as when I started using drugs in HS. Started with weed, then acid, on to ecstasy, then coke, then meth. It’s a nasty game. Luckily, I got out years ago. But the scars remain. My point is, you’re already in a good place by realizing what you have realized. And yes, a real relationship is what you need. Not just for sex but for companionship, a partner in life.
Porn is tough because it is so prevelant. I know it's hard but since I started learning how extensive human trafficking is and that much of the porn made uses trafficked and exploited individuals, many controlled through drugs, it help me to turn away from porn.
Watching porn supports the industry and creates more victims.
Lastly, we are all only human and none of us are perfect. It's the same with any addiction. Take it one day at a time. We are all brothers and sisters here and we are all fighting battles against demons in our lives. Just know that the Lord loves you and wants to see you succeed.
I have a husband who has a porn problem. It really affects your real life sex life. He’s so used to his hand and the stimulation that he’s looking at that it’s difficult for him to finish the natural way with me. Sucks. Seriously. For your future girlfriend/spouse, try to stop it.
That's interesting. I've never heard of that before but it makes sense. As a woman I know that women are most desirable to men when we are at our most fertile stage in our menstrual cycles. We give off a "glow" and have this natural beauty to us that men crave. Also something with pheromones, so it's subconscious as well.
But this is probably why all these women on birth control aren't desirable at all to men, because they are NEVER in a fertile stage. They're constantly in the "in-between" stage of after the period and before the fertile cycle, so they aren't as beautiful outside or inside to entice a man to want them.
Keep that in mind if you have a wife or girlfriend who uses birth control. You'll find that when she's off of it she's far more beautiful and enticing than when she's on it.
I saw your reply to my comment on that post (mine was the top comment about seeking true beauty in nature, music, art, etc.). Trust me when I say that you will feel like a slave freed from chains once you reject porn. Focus your energy on other things, like music as I said (you mentioned being a metalhead, lol that's great, I personally am a big fan of Starset, love that techno-alternative-rock), or put your time to good use in finding God or building a relationship with Him. If you're not religious that's fine, but some kind of deep spiritual healing is truly needed to get out of the porn addiction cycle. Good luck my fren, I'll pray for you to find a nice girlfriend!
I'm baptized as a Methodist and would just say I'm a non denominational Christian. Very spiritual but not very keen on "the Church" especially the Catholic one.
Hell yeah, huge metalhead. Been listening to more Christian sort of bands but my favorites are still secular or just non faith based.
As long as you're baptized Christian you're already on your way to a great relationship with God. Yes I know, as a traditional Catholic our church is in dire straits right now. We've been compromised for hundreds of years. The freemasons wanted to infiltrate us, and well, they've done it. You see what a fool and commie our "pope" is. But I'm not abandoning our beautiful Mother Church. There are men who corrupt her but she can never be truly destroyed or defiled as long as strong Catholics remain with her.
I used to listen to more Christian metal/rock bands, but I've kind of forgotten about them, probably because I'm just really into that techno-rock right now, but I should probably give those other bands a listen again.
I am only a few years older than you and I am strong enough now to admit I had the same problem for a long time. My husband and I both did. We were young and porn is easy to find and it starts out a relatively “healthy” way to engage in sexual activity be that alone or with your partner. It takes over, though. It started to affect my ability to enjoy sexual activity with my husband.
The only thing that cured me of this disease I didn’t even know was an issue, was Jesus. When I woke up to Q and drew closer to God I learned about the porn industry and how it functions as an arm of Satan. Yes, it does contribute to human trafficking, the sexualization of children at a young age and yes, it is “by design.” There is a really good documentary that helped me with this; Ill post it if I can find it.
Thank you for being brave and admitting your addiction. I dropped my addiction because its the biggest turn off to me now; I feel degenerate thinking I ever partook. You are strong enough to admit the problem, you will be strong enough with God to walk away. Peace and love, God bless you fren
Been struggling with porn addiction for 17 years now, started at the age of 6. I just want to let you know that it is possible to break free. I’m currently on day 32, hoping to get to 90 and keep on going. If you ever even have the thought, you must shut it out and tell yourself: NO! NO! NO! I don’t want to be back in that place again mentally.
Think of all the time you’ve wasted beating your meat to some other dude fucking a girl you find attractive. How much you could’ve improved your life over all that time wasted.
Remember, God created you in HIS image AND likeness. You are more powerful than the demons you’re dealing with. A great Sheppard will leave his heard of 99 sheep, just to save the one lost sheep. Pray when you are weak, and God will give you the strength to continue on your journey of self betterment.
I saw the post yesterday, and I've been thinking about telling my story ever since.
My name is WeTheBrave and I am a porn addict. I started using masturbation and porn to deal with loneliness and neglect when I was a kid. I was looking at porn before puberty. I started using more and more to get through the day and deal with life. I can remember one of the high points (so I thought) when I was a kid was finding a huge stash of porn magazines my Dad had hidden. This was before the internet and it's endless supply of porn.
Soon I was at college and had an internet connection. I thought I had it made. I felt safer by myself using porn than I did in the real world. It was my way to hide. Along the way I would have time where I was busier and had more structured time. During these times I would be happier and look at porn less, but I always fell back to isolation and increasing amounts of porn.
Somehow I managed to get a girl and got married. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. It was my safety blanket and seemingly hard wired into my brain. If I got upset, I wanted to use porn. If I was happy, I wanted to use porn. If I got mad, more porn. At this point it wasn't too unusual for me to spend 5-10 hours in a day consuming porn and masturbating until my dick was sore. I couldn't perform with my wife. She felt terrible. I felt terrible. I finally realized how much this was fucking up my life and knew that I needed to stop. Before I had never really tried to stop. It took me years to get clean and I have failed a lot along the way, but every bit of sobriety helped me and let God in a little bit more. He is my answer and salvation.
I haven't masturbated or looked at porn for over four months now. God bless everyone fighting this battle. You are fighting the good fight. God loves you and is calling you to Him. He is patient, kind and merciful. He has given me far more chances than I deserve.
You've had a lot rougher time than me, friend, that's quite the achievement. I wasn't/am not as enslaved to the demon as you were but it goes to show how rooted it can be. Thank God I never started before when I did. I'm hoping to put a stop to it now before it can ever get bad.
I think we've all been somewhere where you are before. I have in middle school. That said...
Wanting a relationship with that going on will be a cancer to any relationship – either unrealistic expectations or lack of trust, or lots of other issues that will hurt your relationship with others. That's not to say what it does to you physically and emotionally.
If you're serious about getting out, do as others have said and get the devices or whatever you're using out. If that means getting a dumb phone and keeping your computer at work – do it. Get filters. Anything to help.
It gets easier, too, when you get off and learn to train yourself not to "look" at things that arouse you. I'm in my 30s now (and married 5+ years), and it's not something I even consider or have any desire for. I think the key is learning to bounce your eyes, speak well of women, etc.
I’m proud of you! Don’t feel alone. It’s everywhere, by design. Take it one day at a time and turn to God for help. You will gain confidence there. Remember, Christ suffered your sins for you, use his atonement to help you heal! Pray for forgiveness and strength. He will not abandon you.
Just a word of caution. Try not to look at a girlfriend or dating as a substitute or as something that will make it any easier to deal with the problem. I don't think you meant it the way I read it but also - don't "try" to get a girlfriend.
Kudos for recognizing the damage and seeking advice. You're already headed in the right direction.
You heard from Crowder too that he and his wife waited for marriage. commendable.
Ultimately don't lean on your own power and strength to overcome something that has you in bondage. We are all weak to the flesh. And we are all subject to the bondage of sin. Recognizing that we are all weak, then you can start leaning on God.
As some others have suggested, I absolutely join them in advising that you partner with Jesus.
Help is available and it’s hard to recover on your own. If you truly want to heal, find a good therapist who specializes in Porn addiction, you will not be sorry. You may have to shop around, not every therapist is a fit, but it will be worth it for you. Many will take insurance or work on a sliding scale.
There are techniques you can learn to make this easier.
If you are serious about getting free you need to look for someone who is versed in spiritual warfare, or at least get the book "spiritual warfare" by Lorenzo Scupoli.
See what events/emotions/behaviors trigger you to engage in the behavior. You may want the guidance of a qualified behavioral health specialist. There are so many possible interventions!
Replacement therapy is useful. Most need to use intense exercise to replace the endorphin seeking.
It’s only one expression of an addictive style of self-regulating/soothing. There are many ways to address anxiety and or loneliness.
All things in moderation, fren. You don't ALWAYS need to be running around town with the post nut clarity of a man building global empires. Save a slap for a rainy day!
It also goes hand in hand I believe. When you stop masturbating you build up testosterone. Humans produce pheromones.
My biggest advice is that you shouldn’t try to hard. If you seek a girlfriend your chances of finding one are low unless you settle. Focus on self improvement and doing things that you enjoy. Everything falls into place from there.
You know that old saying, idle hands are the devil's playthings. Try to keep busy whether it's constructive or playing a video game, limit time on internet along with computers or your phone.
Personally I think addictions are partly habitual in nature. A smoker for example; wake up smoke, eat breakfast smoke, leave for work smoke while driving, work 2 hrs smoke, lunch smoke, and etc etc. Do this same routine for 20 years, now just stop one day. You literally wires your brain to "needing" those smokes are specific times during the day. Humans in general love routines, driving the same way to work etc, you do it all the time just you are consciously not aware of it.
How this applies to you is you need to figure out what time(s) did you was pornography? Why did you watch pornography? (We're you bored?) What things triggered you to watch pornography? Get what I'm saying?
Let's say you saw a nice looking woman taking the trash out and see saw you looking smiles back,this triggers you to go inside and watch porn. Now what if you skipped the pornography and just masterbated to a imaginary scenario with that woman. This could be small steps in fixing you reliance on pornography and slow help you itch that urge while moving away from porn. So using your imagination.
Anyways just trying to help, you can beat this thing.
Thank you for having the courage to share. More good advice from the Christianity Community, plus some centered fellowship. Remember all the Win Communities are connected to your same account. WWG1WGA for real.
Porn didnt do that. You did. Your choices led to what your life is like. Looking at porn doesnt define your worth and having a gf doesnt define your worth either. You should focus on building yourself up first and the girl will come. Looking for one will only lead to failure and blaming your short comings on porn doesnt help either
Many stuides also support trans people. Many studies saying the vaccine is safe and effective.
I go by my experince and what i grew up with. Im sorry that it doesn't fit your narrative but when i grew up the only reason people failed in life is because they let themselves fall and it has nothing to do with what they were using. Everyone has that little something they lean on and what some dont like to admit is that some of you click refresh on this site like a madman. Some people are stuck to this site and some people created an obsession over knowing the "truth". Again my argument is not to attack the item or idea itself but to attack any that use it for harm. Eyes on the prize bro
Wow. Calling someone satan for someone elses opinoin. Have i done that to any of you? Im a man of god and i take that seriously. You speak as if all of you are humble yet im being called names. Is that how you want me to act towards you? Do you want me you call you satan because i dont agree with you? You people disappoint me
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so good on ya for that. I think it helps to know that porn is pushed on the population for our demise, not our benefit. Also, you need a wholesome substitute, so focus on something else that you really enjoy that is good for your body and soul. And finally and most importantly, if you want it, you have God's forgiveness and his strength to rely on when you can't do it yourself.
man to man its the worst addiction out there. you wont be able to maintain a relationship until you stop, you shouldnt try, focus on yourself first. just do pushups or a jog or literally anything else when you get the urge, 1st month or 2 will be tough but it gets easier once you notice the benefits of quitting. your mind is clearer and confidence higher while shame levels are lower. good luck you can do it
Thanks Matt. I already have a blind double date setup with my best friend and his girlfriend this Saturday. Gonna see how it goes but yeah. Today is Day #1 of seriously trying to quit. I've "tried" like a few times before but never put any serious work into it. Thank you for your sympathy and advice.
Just imagine lazy activists writing hit pieces on you each time you get the urge.
"QANON Snakecharmer Displays Male Privilege"
Flaccid in seconds.
Lmao
This is pure genius right here
Holy hell I do the same thing! I workout until failure though (can't beat your meat if your body feels like it's gonna split itself on an atomic level) and actually lost alot of weight. I often joke to my friends that I "Can't titty fuck anymore. My sugar tits are becoming muscle tits.". Got more stamina and energy.
Remember my friends: Pump iron, not your meat.
Ive maintained many relationships while watching porn and actually left because of who the girl was most of the time.
All of this is just mind games your pushing on yourself. Porn has nothing to do with your choices in life.
I first watched porn around 11 years old at the start of puberty thanks to the internet. I never got morning wood during high school. I had insanely weird dreams all the time. It caused a ton of damage in my life and I just accepted the mainstream notion that it was "normal" and even "healthy". It's not.
I haven't watched anything in several years. I am over 30 now and I get morning wood that is like a diamond cutter. How do you explain that? I have energy to climb mountains and I exude positive energy. I could go on and on.
I mean. Ever since 13 ive always had that energy but it wasn't because i wasn't watching porn. It was because i started riding bike. Specifically bmx. It not only gave me a workout it also gave me a goal to work towards. Doing healthy things and actually going out there and putting in effort is what gets you far. Porn didnt do that your own inaction did that.
Porn is free because its easy to make and what you just said is true. It can be dangerous when it interferes with life. How does that happen? Well. You let it happen just like any addiction. Its a simple concept everyone here is failing to acknowledge
There are many kinds of people in the world some of them handle porn (or swinging) and relationships fine, and some do not, so don't mind some of the comments in here. Too many people try to simplify things there's nothing simple about it.
There we go. That makes a lot more sense. Porn bad sounds exactly like organge man bad. Its just a over simplification of a complicated matter.
Im sorry my very true experiences soil your narrative. I suggest you read my recent replies to everyone else
If porn doesn't cause you problems, maybe this isn't the discussion for you. You are spending a lot of time defending porn for someone who doesn't have a problem with it
Blaming things on your short comings is smooth brain. Theres many people who tried that no porn or no fap shit only to realise that success comes from the actions you make and not the things you stop doing.
spoken like a true porn addict. porn rewires your brain.
Excuse me but do you know me? Did you live my life?
Truth hurts doesnt it. "Ohhh waaaa my life is shit it must be because im addcited to porn"
No your life is shit because after you get your rocks off you didnt get up and do something. No amount of fasting or any of that self help bullshit isnt going to get you anywhere. You know what gets you somewhere? Doing something. Stop bitching and moaning and do some Q research atleast. This shit is a waste of time and you know it
You two both have some good points that are not necessarily contradictory when you examine the underlying intent behind both of you. We are all frens here.
My life is not shit, I am blessed. Keep pretending porn doesn't affect your brain.
Dont drain your yang out, man. Stay full of your lifeforce
It can cause ED in all ages too... look it up.
Well aware. I've watched several videos on this matter. John Doyle and Steven Crowder made me want to quit and today it the first day of actually trying. God help me.
use duck duck go as a browser. it help keep bad adds out of your minds view.
edit: sorry frens i meant brave browser. thanks u/EUssr
Don't use DDG, they're aligned with the enemy. Check their donations list.
Use Brave browser to block ads and trackers instead, with Qwant or SwissCows as the search engine.
shit sorry, i meant Brave Browser to begin with.
No problem.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to shill and raise awareness.
Your username is subtle. Very nice.
Yeah it does but only with p*** I get hard as a rock with a real woman. It also protects from prostate cancer.
I think we’ve all been there in some form. I think that we never realized the psychological impact of it until you understand how it molds our behaviors to emulate the fantasy that porn is how real sex is, which it isn’t. It places unattainable standards to sex and relationships, real healthy and loving relationships. And as we can see, the degenerative components implemented are killing what constitutes what a real relationship is. I would never ask the woman I love and have a child with to have sex with another man or woman. Fantasy is just that, fantasy. But making a fantasy a reality is oftentimes detrimental to all involved. You’ll find your way, admitting the problem is the first step. ??
Stuff I watched wasn't very far fetched and it was relatively tame but yeah I get what you mean. But the fact was that I was playing with my pecker to someone else having sex and not myself. Like my subconscious would rather do this than the real thing.
Absolutely. And just like an addiction, you’re always chasing the dragon. You start out small and over time you work your way up. For example, I started many many years ago with Playboy, then Hustler, then on and on(this was pre-internet), around middle school age(91-92 or so). Then it just grows like a vine. Same thing as when I started using drugs in HS. Started with weed, then acid, on to ecstasy, then coke, then meth. It’s a nasty game. Luckily, I got out years ago. But the scars remain. My point is, you’re already in a good place by realizing what you have realized. And yes, a real relationship is what you need. Not just for sex but for companionship, a partner in life.
let the Lord help you.
Porn is tough because it is so prevelant. I know it's hard but since I started learning how extensive human trafficking is and that much of the porn made uses trafficked and exploited individuals, many controlled through drugs, it help me to turn away from porn. Watching porn supports the industry and creates more victims. Lastly, we are all only human and none of us are perfect. It's the same with any addiction. Take it one day at a time. We are all brothers and sisters here and we are all fighting battles against demons in our lives. Just know that the Lord loves you and wants to see you succeed.
Would blasting Christian metalcore be positive? Lmao. I know whenever I get the feeling of wanting to whack off, I use metal to supplement it.
Can you make meee hiiiiigher,
When you play with myyyyyyyy peepee
I have a husband who has a porn problem. It really affects your real life sex life. He’s so used to his hand and the stimulation that he’s looking at that it’s difficult for him to finish the natural way with me. Sucks. Seriously. For your future girlfriend/spouse, try to stop it.
That's interesting. I've never heard of that before but it makes sense. As a woman I know that women are most desirable to men when we are at our most fertile stage in our menstrual cycles. We give off a "glow" and have this natural beauty to us that men crave. Also something with pheromones, so it's subconscious as well.
But this is probably why all these women on birth control aren't desirable at all to men, because they are NEVER in a fertile stage. They're constantly in the "in-between" stage of after the period and before the fertile cycle, so they aren't as beautiful outside or inside to entice a man to want them.
Keep that in mind if you have a wife or girlfriend who uses birth control. You'll find that when she's off of it she's far more beautiful and enticing than when she's on it.
I saw your reply to my comment on that post (mine was the top comment about seeking true beauty in nature, music, art, etc.). Trust me when I say that you will feel like a slave freed from chains once you reject porn. Focus your energy on other things, like music as I said (you mentioned being a metalhead, lol that's great, I personally am a big fan of Starset, love that techno-alternative-rock), or put your time to good use in finding God or building a relationship with Him. If you're not religious that's fine, but some kind of deep spiritual healing is truly needed to get out of the porn addiction cycle. Good luck my fren, I'll pray for you to find a nice girlfriend!
I'm baptized as a Methodist and would just say I'm a non denominational Christian. Very spiritual but not very keen on "the Church" especially the Catholic one.
Hell yeah, huge metalhead. Been listening to more Christian sort of bands but my favorites are still secular or just non faith based.
As long as you're baptized Christian you're already on your way to a great relationship with God. Yes I know, as a traditional Catholic our church is in dire straits right now. We've been compromised for hundreds of years. The freemasons wanted to infiltrate us, and well, they've done it. You see what a fool and commie our "pope" is. But I'm not abandoning our beautiful Mother Church. There are men who corrupt her but she can never be truly destroyed or defiled as long as strong Catholics remain with her.
I used to listen to more Christian metal/rock bands, but I've kind of forgotten about them, probably because I'm just really into that techno-rock right now, but I should probably give those other bands a listen again.
I am only a few years older than you and I am strong enough now to admit I had the same problem for a long time. My husband and I both did. We were young and porn is easy to find and it starts out a relatively “healthy” way to engage in sexual activity be that alone or with your partner. It takes over, though. It started to affect my ability to enjoy sexual activity with my husband.
The only thing that cured me of this disease I didn’t even know was an issue, was Jesus. When I woke up to Q and drew closer to God I learned about the porn industry and how it functions as an arm of Satan. Yes, it does contribute to human trafficking, the sexualization of children at a young age and yes, it is “by design.” There is a really good documentary that helped me with this; Ill post it if I can find it.
Thank you for being brave and admitting your addiction. I dropped my addiction because its the biggest turn off to me now; I feel degenerate thinking I ever partook. You are strong enough to admit the problem, you will be strong enough with God to walk away. Peace and love, God bless you fren
Been struggling with porn addiction for 17 years now, started at the age of 6. I just want to let you know that it is possible to break free. I’m currently on day 32, hoping to get to 90 and keep on going. If you ever even have the thought, you must shut it out and tell yourself: NO! NO! NO! I don’t want to be back in that place again mentally.
Think of all the time you’ve wasted beating your meat to some other dude fucking a girl you find attractive. How much you could’ve improved your life over all that time wasted.
Remember, God created you in HIS image AND likeness. You are more powerful than the demons you’re dealing with. A great Sheppard will leave his heard of 99 sheep, just to save the one lost sheep. Pray when you are weak, and God will give you the strength to continue on your journey of self betterment.
I saw the post yesterday, and I've been thinking about telling my story ever since.
My name is WeTheBrave and I am a porn addict. I started using masturbation and porn to deal with loneliness and neglect when I was a kid. I was looking at porn before puberty. I started using more and more to get through the day and deal with life. I can remember one of the high points (so I thought) when I was a kid was finding a huge stash of porn magazines my Dad had hidden. This was before the internet and it's endless supply of porn.
Soon I was at college and had an internet connection. I thought I had it made. I felt safer by myself using porn than I did in the real world. It was my way to hide. Along the way I would have time where I was busier and had more structured time. During these times I would be happier and look at porn less, but I always fell back to isolation and increasing amounts of porn.
Somehow I managed to get a girl and got married. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. It was my safety blanket and seemingly hard wired into my brain. If I got upset, I wanted to use porn. If I was happy, I wanted to use porn. If I got mad, more porn. At this point it wasn't too unusual for me to spend 5-10 hours in a day consuming porn and masturbating until my dick was sore. I couldn't perform with my wife. She felt terrible. I felt terrible. I finally realized how much this was fucking up my life and knew that I needed to stop. Before I had never really tried to stop. It took me years to get clean and I have failed a lot along the way, but every bit of sobriety helped me and let God in a little bit more. He is my answer and salvation.
I haven't masturbated or looked at porn for over four months now. God bless everyone fighting this battle. You are fighting the good fight. God loves you and is calling you to Him. He is patient, kind and merciful. He has given me far more chances than I deserve.
You've had a lot rougher time than me, friend, that's quite the achievement. I wasn't/am not as enslaved to the demon as you were but it goes to show how rooted it can be. Thank God I never started before when I did. I'm hoping to put a stop to it now before it can ever get bad.
I'm happy for you that you reached out for help. God bless you my friend!
I think we've all been somewhere where you are before. I have in middle school. That said...
Wanting a relationship with that going on will be a cancer to any relationship – either unrealistic expectations or lack of trust, or lots of other issues that will hurt your relationship with others. That's not to say what it does to you physically and emotionally.
If you're serious about getting out, do as others have said and get the devices or whatever you're using out. If that means getting a dumb phone and keeping your computer at work – do it. Get filters. Anything to help.
It gets easier, too, when you get off and learn to train yourself not to "look" at things that arouse you. I'm in my 30s now (and married 5+ years), and it's not something I even consider or have any desire for. I think the key is learning to bounce your eyes, speak well of women, etc.
I’m proud of you! Don’t feel alone. It’s everywhere, by design. Take it one day at a time and turn to God for help. You will gain confidence there. Remember, Christ suffered your sins for you, use his atonement to help you heal! Pray for forgiveness and strength. He will not abandon you.
Just a word of caution. Try not to look at a girlfriend or dating as a substitute or as something that will make it any easier to deal with the problem. I don't think you meant it the way I read it but also - don't "try" to get a girlfriend.
Kudos for recognizing the damage and seeking advice. You're already headed in the right direction.
You heard from Crowder too that he and his wife waited for marriage. commendable.
Ultimately don't lean on your own power and strength to overcome something that has you in bondage. We are all weak to the flesh. And we are all subject to the bondage of sin. Recognizing that we are all weak, then you can start leaning on God.
As some others have suggested, I absolutely join them in advising that you partner with Jesus.
Engrained behaviors can be changed with SMART (an acronym) goal setting challenges.
It takes 26-30 days to change a behavior, but 6 months to cement the behavior.
Help is available and it’s hard to recover on your own. If you truly want to heal, find a good therapist who specializes in Porn addiction, you will not be sorry. You may have to shop around, not every therapist is a fit, but it will be worth it for you. Many will take insurance or work on a sliding scale. There are techniques you can learn to make this easier.
If you are serious about getting free you need to look for someone who is versed in spiritual warfare, or at least get the book "spiritual warfare" by Lorenzo Scupoli.
There’s a great book out there through sex anonymous https://www.sa.org/.
See what events/emotions/behaviors trigger you to engage in the behavior. You may want the guidance of a qualified behavioral health specialist. There are so many possible interventions!
Replacement therapy is useful. Most need to use intense exercise to replace the endorphin seeking.
It’s only one expression of an addictive style of self-regulating/soothing. There are many ways to address anxiety and or loneliness.
All things in moderation, fren. You don't ALWAYS need to be running around town with the post nut clarity of a man building global empires. Save a slap for a rainy day!
Just talk to girls. Stop making things so serious. Just be yourself and they'll follow you home if they like you.
It also goes hand in hand I believe. When you stop masturbating you build up testosterone. Humans produce pheromones.
My biggest advice is that you shouldn’t try to hard. If you seek a girlfriend your chances of finding one are low unless you settle. Focus on self improvement and doing things that you enjoy. Everything falls into place from there.
You know that old saying, idle hands are the devil's playthings. Try to keep busy whether it's constructive or playing a video game, limit time on internet along with computers or your phone.
Personally I think addictions are partly habitual in nature. A smoker for example; wake up smoke, eat breakfast smoke, leave for work smoke while driving, work 2 hrs smoke, lunch smoke, and etc etc. Do this same routine for 20 years, now just stop one day. You literally wires your brain to "needing" those smokes are specific times during the day. Humans in general love routines, driving the same way to work etc, you do it all the time just you are consciously not aware of it.
How this applies to you is you need to figure out what time(s) did you was pornography? Why did you watch pornography? (We're you bored?) What things triggered you to watch pornography? Get what I'm saying?
Let's say you saw a nice looking woman taking the trash out and see saw you looking smiles back,this triggers you to go inside and watch porn. Now what if you skipped the pornography and just masterbated to a imaginary scenario with that woman. This could be small steps in fixing you reliance on pornography and slow help you itch that urge while moving away from porn. So using your imagination.
Anyways just trying to help, you can beat this thing.
Thank you for having the courage to share. More good advice from the Christianity Community, plus some centered fellowship. Remember all the Win Communities are connected to your same account. WWG1WGA for real.
Wrong. I’ve read many testimonies that state the complete opposite.
Once men STOP stimulating their brains with fake sex (pornography) the real thing becomes more intense and more satisfying than fake sex.
Porn didnt do that. You did. Your choices led to what your life is like. Looking at porn doesnt define your worth and having a gf doesnt define your worth either. You should focus on building yourself up first and the girl will come. Looking for one will only lead to failure and blaming your short comings on porn doesnt help either
Many studies say the opposite, but ok.
Many stuides also support trans people. Many studies saying the vaccine is safe and effective.
I go by my experince and what i grew up with. Im sorry that it doesn't fit your narrative but when i grew up the only reason people failed in life is because they let themselves fall and it has nothing to do with what they were using. Everyone has that little something they lean on and what some dont like to admit is that some of you click refresh on this site like a madman. Some people are stuck to this site and some people created an obsession over knowing the "truth". Again my argument is not to attack the item or idea itself but to attack any that use it for harm. Eyes on the prize bro
Get the fuck out of here, Satan. You are not wanted
Wow. Calling someone satan for someone elses opinoin. Have i done that to any of you? Im a man of god and i take that seriously. You speak as if all of you are humble yet im being called names. Is that how you want me to act towards you? Do you want me you call you satan because i dont agree with you? You people disappoint me
God does not support you lusting after men and women while they fornicate on your screen.
I believe Satan is speaking through you. If you are indeed a man of God, please repent.
Fuck off. You missed my point. Im not defending porn