We're starting the vetting process for adoption agencies. We are looking at embryo adoption vs other options. No IVF, and have tried IUI as well as natural remedies. We're still trying of course, but ready to pursue other options. Anyone have advice?
Comments (87)
sorted by:
Prayers
Foster. My brother and sister-in-law successfully adopted brothers and sisters so they wouldn't be separated. They also adopted individual foster children. Later, they had biological twins of their own. Their church was very helpful supporting them and their family
I'm with you friend, same struggle. happy to answer any pms. My wife and I adopted 2 from foster care and 2 privately. some of it is about marketing yourself as "in the market" and getting into local adoption groups. both of our private adoptions were referrals from friends.
I'm praying for you guys.
Sarah and Abraham thought that they couldn't have kids either. Love conquers all.
If you haven't tried yet, I highly recommend NFP (Natural Family Planning). It tracks your wife's monthly cycles, finding out when she is at her most fertile and the optimal time for conception. Usually it's a short window, 1-3 days in her whole monthly cycle, so it's important to track to figure out when it happens. I also recommend checking out Wholesome Story vitamins online, they have all kinds of vitamins to increase fertility naturally, and to balance hormones. I take them for hormone balance and they're great! My body feels at its most prime!
You're doing the right thing by avoiding IVF, as it kills countless embryos just to get one to implant. IVF is not what God intended.
Thanks! Will check out the supplements. We have ovulation tracking down pat, including about 3 years of daily temperature recording upon first waking. We use an app to graph and track timing
I dropped the fluoride in my water and finally got pregnant a second time after having issue for a while. I switched entirely to reverse osmosis or distilled water with added minerals and bam - pregnant. Something about the thyroid using fluoride in place of the iodine that should be used but we are all deficient. Thyroid is the boss of all pregnancy related hormones.
That, and prayers. You have mine ā¤ļø
Fluoride is poisonous to the thyroid gland and will displace any iodine that you may be able to ingest. Excellent water solution! Bromine will do that as well.
https://babysteps.ie/can-nac-aid-your-fertility/ Perhaps this could be helpful. Sending prayers
Nice! We stocked up on NAC. Local store told us their supply is being shuttered by the FDA
Wild. Has your home already been using it as a supplement?
Glad to help, and it's awesome you're already tracking cycles. You're on a good path!
That's my IVF story. :(
You mean you used IVF and many embryos were killed to implant one? If so, I'm sorry. But that's what IVF has always been and in my opinion it is an abuse. I have nothing against you for using it, only against those that created it and push it.
We had a total of 10 embryos, and tried three times to transfer two each time, and out of all the six in total we transferred, only one stuck with us. He's a tremendous blessing. We had four remaining, but I couldn't donate them, because at the time the thought of someone else raising my babies was heartbreaking. So I let them be laid to rest. I've talked to God about it over the years and have been grieved by it. Believe me- it wasn't easy.
My head and heart are in different places now. I hate that it happened that way, but I love my son dearly.
Your son is certainly a blessing, don't get me wrong. I had a best friend who was an IVF baby and she is certainly one-of-a-kind. But I just wish that children weren't treated as commodities or "designer babies" or when random women are used as surrogates for gays or lazy celebrities to make babies for them.
I totally understand that.
Through foster care is tough but cheaper too.
I don't think I have any good advice, and I think you probably already know all this stuff. But I just can't stand to see people in pain, so here goes:
It's a pretty common story that couples give up, adopt, and then a pregnancy comes. Try relaxing and adopt a pet to hug and play with while you wait for your solution.
Plenty of frozen embryos available, apparently. They freeze more than the original couple needed.
If you can find an agency that works with crisis pregnancies, there are open adoptions available now. The mother chooses the couple she wants to parent her child.
A lot of the women/girls who go for abortions don't actually want to destroy the child. They don't think they have the ability to take on the responsibility. In the old days, these mothers would either have a "shotgun" wedding (this was supposedly how Abe married Mary), go for a dangerous and illegal abortion, or go to a home for unwed mothers where a post birth adoption was arranged. The mother would not know where her baby went. Sometimes families would hide the pregnancy and a family member would pose as the mother. Today it is more common to either abort or become a single mother. Not so many are opting to adopt out, which is causing a baby shortage for adoptive parents. There are still organizations that work with crisis pregnancies. There is a need for more of these to support girls who don't know what to do other than seek an abortion. This is something I think churches should get involved in. It might help more young girls to choose not to abort. We are not living in the Victorian age when fallen women went to the workhouse and babies were forcibly taken from them.
I knew a man who was trained in Western medicine as well as Chinese medicine. He said he knew how to treat with Chinese medicine to make the "womb warm" to help pregnancy happen.
I have sometimes thought about being a foster parent. Considering the foster system can abuse families and children, you could do good by being available as godly foster parents. You might even meet a child/children that you want to adopt as your own.
Story of Hannah in the Bible. Also of Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist, as well as Sarah, of course. And she was well past her fertile years.
I prayed for children. I had already been something of a mother to my younger siblings. I wasn't married at the right time and in the right situation to produce my own children. God gave me stepkids. I have a grandchild now. He is super cute. Plus a series of cats and a puppy, and some stints as a teacher, it is enough.
If you deeply desire to become parents, God will find a way. Godly parents make good parents.
Where do you buy? Thanks for the tip. This stuff is an antihistamine at higher doses too
And iodine - no fluoride and add iodine šš»šš»
My sister and her husband are in the same boat. Been trying for 5-6 years now. 2 miscarriages.
Praying for you sir, those struggles are heartbreaking.
For miscarriages sometimes a lifesaver can be topical daily progesterone for the mother.
Appreciate that, I'll ask my sister if she's tried anything like that
Any podcast with Loren de la Cruz in it has a wealth of information. My sister is doing a pre pregnancy routine of hers. All the best of luck to your sister. There is always hope but people place their trust in doctors who are indocrinated worse than any priest class. I found it more fruitful to listen to alternative opinions when it comes to Reproductive health.
Have you looked into https://bethany.org?
This is exactly the thing we were hoping existed! Thank you so much for connecting us to it. Will have to vette for trafficking patterns. A lot of traffickers hide behind religion as a cover
I hope it works for you.
We dealt with infertility for years. It's very disheartening.
God bless!
Would you want to have kids naturally? I can start praying for you and see what God reveals to me. It helps to know more of your story though, itās hard for me to get revelation normally about people I donāt know well.
We'll pray for you back! What is needed on your end?
My first born is 4 and has a muscle/brain issue where she can move or do things like normal kids. Itās just hard to carry her everywhere so it would be wonderful if she was healed and could talk. I love her dearly and she is very precious.
Get a lawyer and put up a Want Ad, you can always say no.
Not a bad idea. Human to human instead of institutional. Low odds, it's like rolling the dice
Almost didn't post that, realize I'm quite blunt, but thought you may not have considered that option.
There are lawyers who only do domestic adoptions, skipping the agencies. (my SIL is a social worker and does home studies for embryo and traditional placements.)
Whatās the issue? One or both of you? You say no IVF, but is that with just your own eggs?
More info on your current timeline and problems please.
We think one, the female. Have concieved several times but miscarriages. Age is a factor too, 38/40
Ok, you are miles ahead of many if you can conceive. Look into Dr Kiltz in upstate NY. He preaches the keto diet and has a regimen once you are pregnant that includes things like naltrexone, levothyroxine, and many other things to reduce inflammation and make carrying your baby to term a reality.
He does a āfireside chatā from his living room on social media. I think he can help you, but you must be willing to cut out most sugar and follow what he says.
Good luck, I will say a prayer for you.
I'm sad to hear that. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Give your wife as much time and space to heal after a miscarriage as you would after a birth. You aren't alone. I had my youngest at a few years older than that. Best surprise I have ever gotten, literally! Make sure she takes a good prenatal vitamin, exercises regularly, and eats healthily. Folate or Folic Acid is essential for those who want to become moms and new moms. Pray for her and yourself, and the Lord's will on this.
I had my last child at 38. I lost the ability to have children at the age of 43, so age is a factor.
Before having my last child, we were trying & I had a miscarriage at 37. But then, finally had my girl at 38. It was 15 years ago, but I think I remember using something that tracked when I was ovulating & that helped me to have my daughter.
My eggs were too old at 38-40. I had 3 miscarriages with ivf early on and from the fragmentation of my other embryos that didn't make it to day 5 it told the story that my eggs just weren't genetically sound at that age anymore. It happens alot. They don't tell you this when you are young and make it seem like you can have a baby for most women at that age. It just isn't true. Best years are 18 to 28. I prayed for 20 years. I followed advice and relaxed. I tried all the herbs and acupuncture and cycling. I did not know about iodine maybe that will work. We did clomid drugs and 6 rounds of ivf. We had surgeries for cysts and septum and endo. We used eggs from a fertility clinic.
Bless you. Just pray about it and I think God will guide you in finding the right adoption agency.
We did pray and continue to do so. We felt that reaching out to community would help us gain insight, and maybe there is something we are missing. Responses so far: fostering, iodine, pray (you), and an offer to cuckold (nope)
Look into black seed oil. You may have already tried everything, but just fyi. Good luck friend.
Adopting snow flake babies is cheaper than adopting children traditionally. I don't know what part of the country you're in but in Colorado there was a place in Loveland that had frozen embryos for implantation. I think those places can work with a woman's cycle as well if you didn't want to do the hormone route. Best of luck to you guys, I will say a prayer for you.
Not sure if you've been tested for the mthfr mutation but my husband and I both found out we had one after a miscarriage. I started taking the prenatal supplement regimen by this Dr, conceived within two months, and now have a healthy newborn. It's worth getting tested for that and a few common things (like thyroid function) by a fertility clinic if you haven't done so yet. Here's his link, if your have a mthfr mutation a prenatal without folic acid (using some other form of folate instead) can help - https://mthfr.net/prenatal-supplementation-optimizing-your-future-child/2012/01/20/
Aquacure by George Wiseman and move into nature. Let you're body acclimate to nature. Wim Hoff cold showers and breath work. Have you're wife and yourself read the ringing cedars of Russia with an open heart and open mind. Don't take all for truth just read it for the perspective. God bless and God speed. And try to get on/look into the root cause Protocol by Morley Robbins. Loren de la Cruz is an amazing resource for female Reproductive health. Avoid enriched iron and cooking oil. Also as a hail Mary try the gallbladder/liver flush protocol by Andreas Moritz its helped me. And try adding copper/magnesium(covered in root cause) into your supplements. Most of all run away as fast as you can from all doctors and ziontists. Hope any of these suggestions help. All the best
We're bookworms so all these titles are being added to a list, thank you
Claims that the firstborn receives 2/3 of the mother's heavy metal burden. https://debugyourhealth.com/chelation-therapy/
Also, I read about a bacterial infection that can cause infertility, probably here but I can't find the details right now.
Try hanging out in front of PP with a sign saying "Looking to Adopt." Make a connection, hire a lawyer, help everyone involved.
Or...
Call the Midwife. They know.
Embryo is the least expensive. Private domestic should be next, the issue is there are fewer babies available since the "pandemic". A couple at church were going to adopt international, then Covid hot and change their plans. They switched to domestic and waited. Basically, right when they found out they were actually expecting naturally, their agency said there is an extreme shortage of babies (I assume due to the increase in miscarriage and stillbirth from the jabs). She delivered yesterday, a healthy baby. Thanks be to God. Pray, try not to stress, foster in the mean time. So often when the stress of trying is removed, couples get pregnant.
Tell the husband not to take hot showers. He can't ride bikes either.
Don't time your relationship. Let your body tell you when it is time to come together. Give his body a chance to recover as well.
Depending on how what we're all anticipating works out, there may be some young souls who need loving parents.
First of all, be sure to have your thyroid checked. We went through all of the infertility stuff, and later I found I had low thyroid.
Then, consider an open adoption company. We did this, but it took a while to be chosen by a birth mother. Had to cry and pray a lot. The upside is that your child will know their birth familyāand this is actually very good (itās like having cousins or visiting an aunt.). They donāt suffer the abandonment issues. And itās good for the birth family because they are also grieving the loss of not being able to parent the child, but know the child is thriving. It is a tough issue to wrestle with at first, but I would argue it is the most healthy of all the possibilities. Read the book, āThe Spirit of Open Adoptionā by James Gritter.
Robitussin (look it up Google it on specifics and the brand) take 2 days or so before ovulation and a couple days after (loosens up cervical mucus). Ovulation tests and app (temp in the morning too). Bee pollen. Exercise and good diet.
Iām coming close to the 10 year mark of waiting myself. My dear husband and I havenāt given up, but weāre at peace in this season. The Father is good and Iām content even though sometimes my spirit gets so grieved Iām not sure I can take it one more day. Iāll be praying for you and your precious wife to receive a quiver full of children and immense blessings on your household.
Have you been to a fertility clinic to get assessments done?
Even if you donāt want IVF the tests that are done prior to the treatment are very helpful in determining the condition of the eggs and sperm.
Sometimes just supplementation can sort some problems.
Other than that, as you probably know, body weight and age and stress levels are other big factors.
Thereās Also āhome insemination kitsā on Amazon that actually work very well if the problem is with the sperm as they get the sperm closer to the cervix than the natural way.
I hope you find a solution .
Perhaps you could rescue some trafficked kids somehow...
I don't see this already listed so I'll mention it. Check her thyroid. Mine was on the line of being low, but not low enough for medication. Yet, we had years of problems having more children (we did already have one child). Once my thyroid was working better, we did conceive and she is a healthy happy child. I was early 40s.
We did also adopt. You have already received a lot of good advice here. I will only add that you can join adoption forums to get additional info. and find a good agency, if you decide to go that route. Sending prayers your way.
Try private attorneys that handle adoptions and you meet the mom to be.
Chiropractic. Functional medicine doc.
Unwed Mothers. There are homes for these young women that seek to give their child a good home. I would suggest seeking one of these homes out and see if you can assist a young girl with getting her life back and making yourself a family. Prayers for you and your wife.