Thank you.
I was brave. I fought. I followed protocols. Feeling better, healthier. But every week I got bombarded with new problems on every level of my life. And now I can't any more.
Five weeks ago I had the last meaningful contact with my boyfriend, then he did not call anymore. We are together since 2008, he lives 300km far away. I phoned him twice, but he did not want to say anything and promised to come back to it, which did not happen.
Probably he can not cope with the cancer diagnosis of mine, but I just don't understand, it hurts, my thoughts keep returning to the question why. It pulls all strength, hope and will for life from me.
WHY? All this? I helped everybody and now there is nobody, only a pile of problems high as the pyramides. I can not take it anymore.
Father of all mercies, have mercy on us. We are anxious, exhausted, angry, and sad. We need your peace that surpasses understanding to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Be our refuge and strength; be our very present help in this time of trouble. Amen.
Thank you.
The top right search slot has many protocols and therapies to use just for the asking. Let this board and the Patriots therein help you back to health. Do your own research and know that you are not alone and/or hopeless. Do Not trust health/med system to help you. Our strength is in this community of Liberty lovers.
Thank you. I have all information already at hand and all goodies on my desk. But the overall load of shit is now defeating me. I have no power more to carry on. What for? The world is cruel. My body is dying. Love is a lie. I can not provide for myself fully.
Love is not a lie, that much I do know. Jesus is with you and will pour his comfort over you, if you allow it. I understand how hard it can be though, but this flesh and suffering we experience is not the end, it is the beginning.
Sending you some love, first class :) It might be tinged with a bit of sadness coz that's the place I'm in right now, but it's sent with all good intention.
Thank you, fren. May God lift your sadness as well.
Thank you, but I bring my suffering upon myself because I cannot let go. Comfort is there for me the moment I overcome these challenges. I have hope, it's only been 20 years so far :)
It must be a very important "thing" for you that you carry it already for 20 years.
🙏🙏🙏
Amen
Amen (and in the name of Jesus, tell the demons to take a long walk on a short pier)
Amen
If he didn’t stand by you now you dodged a bullet. In sickness and in health. Perhaps this was a temporary test sent by God to show you the way forward towards what he expects of you.
Keep strong and keep going, you are the better person in this relationship. My prayers are with you.
Thank you.
No thanks necessary. Just concentrate on you, because (I don’t believe I’m going to use this cliche);
YOU’RE WORTH IT.
It is so hard. I am very loyal and have a big heart and never could treat somebody that I love like this. I really don't understand how he turns cold when I am so vulnerable. It makes all the years enjoyed with him worthless.
But the worse thing is that it naggs on me, because I don't know what is the reason. Not the reason why he left me alone and not the reason why all this happens to me. It is too much.
Without knowing him, it sounds like self defence. I have laid to rest two girls, and the thought of losing my wife, just the thought, nearly destroys me. I am blessed to have let Jesus into my heart and I trust him, no matter the pain, the same may not be true for your boyfriend. This is a time when he needs Jesus possibly just as much as you do.
Thank you. I am defending him all the time, so you are not alone. Yes, probably it is. But it totally alien to me, because when I love, I go always all the way.
You sound like my wife, she suffers similarly because I shut down my emotions when she needs them the most, she calls me a robot and unhuman, but in reality it is because I fear if I let those emotions out they are so powerful they might destroy me.
Of course, she is right and I need to be more trustful, but it is my one true fear and I have yet to overcome it.
You don't need to led the emotions out. Only be there with her. Listen. See her. Feel her. Hug her.
"If u let your emotions out they may destroy you" Im the same way! I have to say ,, my God , i thank God u know Jesus ! I cant imagine losing children , im so grateful u have your wife . All the years ive resd your commrnts on here i somehow missed u lost your daughters . Not anything i can say u havent heard but i do send heartfelt love to you !
No it’s not. You don’t need him. Clearly.
Just focus on yourself and heal. There are plenty of other anons in the sea.
Or pepes in the pond ;-)
Lord Jesus Christ, please see to the needs and comfort of our brothers who strive towards you. May we feel your love and support even in the most dire of situations. You have known us before our first breath was taken and we thank you for the divine grace and esteem you extend to us. Amen.
Thank you.
Father God, please shelter this soul in your loving arms. In Jesus' Holy name, Amen.
Thank you.
Thank you.''
God has loved you from the beginning of time.
I have returned to this countless times over the years, I pray it will comfort and bless you in this dark valley you traverse...
Thru the Bible - Sunday Sermon
Why Do God's Children Suffer?
Dr. McGee says "the most important thing to do in our suffering is to draw near to God. When we do, He promises to draw near to us.” In this popular message, he gives us seven reasons Scripture says we suffer, and also suggests four benefits of suffering for the believer.
https://www.oneplace.com/ministries/thru-the-bible-sunday-sermon/listen/why-do-gods-children-suffer-1192132.html
Thank you for the reminder, here's a song for you and eagle-eyes2020
Michelle Tumes : Heaven's Heart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en26qQqTjoY
here's a song for you and eagle-eyes2020''
...made my day...
God bless you for being a friend.
Thank you! Oh, He does, way more than I deserve!
Pretty much agree with all who have already commented here. It seems that your boyfriend's strength is small, and he just couldn't handle it. Sometimes you just throw the towel up to God, rather than throwing it in.
Heavenly Father, you have designed us to both be helpers and be helped. Please provide for eagle_eyes2020 's needs, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Bring people across her path who will be there for her, this is type of thing is hard to battle by oneself. Draw close to her, and keep her in Your loving embrace,
In Jesus' name, Amen!
Thank you.
Ooh that was a very nice one, Powder. I'll borrow and add my juice...
And eagle-eyes, the time you had together was not wasted. Love never is. I'm sorry at how disappointing humans can be, though. I'm practically living for the time when we're all healthy in mind, heart and soul so that we aren't such assholes to one another. The truth is that we're all walking wounded, and literally everything that happens in our lives can somehow become an avenue for expansion of the self. It's true for him, too. He'll have to live with his decision. I pray that you get the help that you need, and that your heart knows the true love of God that will never be withheld.
Hang in there. You have a higher purpose- you just don’t realize it yet.
Thank you.
Remember this:
One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you Never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
Humanity, at times can fail us, but the Lord is always with us. God bless you.
Thank you. Yes, I know that story. And in the last four months and already before he always was with me and sent help, informations and turnarounds.
🙏
Thank you.
Yes. WWG1WGA.
🙏
Thank you.
Thank you.
We have been chosen for the most difficult tasks, and we will suffer the biggest burdens. In the storm one must be like the rock, solid and immovable and enduring. For someday soon, after the storm has passed, you will know your essence. God be with you.
Thank you.
He saved the strongest angels for these latter days. You are a warrior spirit. Stay strong. We are with you too.
🙏🙏🙏 Don't give up. God will reward you in time. Hold the line a little longer, fren. Prayers and love to you.
Thank you.
Prayers on the way fren.
Stay strong.
Thank you.
Prayers going up, fren. I recommend you find a Bible-centered church near you and start attending, especially one with small groups where you can share your story and get emotional and spiritual support.
Thank you.
I will definitely say a prayer for you.
Some people are not as strong as others. It is possible that he cares so much that he can't bear to witness your pain and just might not have the strength of spirit to cope.
If that is the case, I will say a prayer for him too.
God bless.
Thank you. Until this last blow not to know what him let go cold and no contact, I felt good, brave, getting healthy. I wasn' t suffering, needy, sick, depressed or anything of that kind. I only cried 3 times in four month since diagnosis due to other reasons. And now I cry because it hurts. But in the whole time he had not to bear anything of that.
Then I'm at a loss, you sound incredibly brave and selfless, qualities that will recommend you to God and any good natured soul.
Are you being too brave perhaps? What do you truly fear? (no need to answer here, I ask to prompt new thoughts so that it might take you on a path where you gain the understanding you need right now).
Thank you. I fear not having lived some beautiful years of a peaceful life full of little things to enjoy relaxing in a cozy home surrounded by nature.
Bless you, that is a wonderful goal and one I share. I dream that I might obtain a snippet of that life before I depart, but in truth I hope to have it in the hereafter with my wife and girls by my side.
I expect I still have some lessons to learn however :)
I am very sorry for your losses, dear fren. Yes, beginning of the year it was also the dream of my boyfriend and me to live it together. And I understand that as much as we want to experience it, it feels not so good without our loved ones. I hope from time to time you feel that their love for you is still coming through to you.
Himmlischer Vater, bitte segne unseren Freund mit Deiner Gnade und Deiner heilenden Kraft. Amen
Anmerkung: Mein Deutsch ist ziemlich eingerostet, daher habe ich eine Übersetzungs-App verwendet. Ich hoffe, dass der Sinn der Botschaft in der Übersetzung erhalten geblieben ist.
Lord, hear my prayer. I prat you you my King to show your mercy to eagle-eyes, give her strength, patience and peace, the peace that knows no description. Most of all dear Lord, give her hope. In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Amen
I prayed for you and will continue to pray for you, EE.
Life can throw a lot at us sometimes. Sometimes it's positively crushing.
I suspect your boyfriend stopped speaking to you not out of lack of care & affection for you, but simply weakness of character and being unable to have the strength to help you go through this fight. It obviously doesn't speak well to his character, but better weakness than lack of love.
You are a self-contained unit. You have the strength to fight this battle on your own if need be. Resolve to win this fight on your own with God's help. Sometimes our worst moments can be instructive when we can get past the pain.
Perhaps this challenge was God's way of showing you that your boyfriend is not the right partner for you.
Regardless, what matters now is that you stay strong and that you WIN THIS BATTLE.
Fight. Pray. Draw strength from the people here on GAW because we DO care about you and your well-being.
Thank you. Especially for that "Fight. Pray. Draw strength from the people here on GAW because we DO care about you and your well-being."
We've got your back, EE. Keep talking to us. Keep drawing strength from us. Never be afraid to vent or ask for help and prayers.
Thank you, fren. I already feel much more peaceful in my heart and soul. Yesterday I really felt totally defeated. All the problems I have to solve, the relationship break up and being only surrounded by people that truely believe that this dis-ease is only cured by bombing my whole body with radiation and chemo.
Due to not knowing why my boyfriend broke up I thought and suffered too much, weakening my immunity and moral. Feeling that my body responds negatively made me afraid and even weaker.
All your comments, prayers and support lift me up, bring me back closer to God and his promises. Step by step. I have to throw myself totally into the arms and protection of God Almighty and his son Jesus Christ.
"All your comments, prayers and support lift me up, bring me back closer to God and his promises. Step by step. I have to throw myself totally into the arms and protection of God Almighty and his son Jesus Christ."
And your friends here too!
I can't imagine how difficult this has been made by him just literally disappearing. It's really difficult for me to not judge him VERY harshly. Bad enough to leave you at such a crucial time, so much worse to disappear without any explanation.
I have had a few things happen in my life where I honestly don't know how I got through them. Now when anything really tough comes along, I'll literally say out loud "rearview mirror", because I learned that no matter how bad things get, a day WILL arrive that it's all in the rear view mirror, and I'll be wondering again how I got through it to the point of life being good again.
For whatever reason, saying those two words seems to really help me when times get tough.
Why did you not get married? I just was curious and the longest I dated was for about 6 months and then got married.
Probably I never was so into marriage due to the rough marriage of my parents. He already was married (his wife left him) and has two grown children with already grandchildren. 2014 we had a bad phase and no contact. Then in 2015 my parents health detoriated and I decided to help them far away in Northern Germany. So I moved tried to tell him that decision two times, but he did not react. Then three months later I had just moved he contacted me again. Since then we are together again, but the beginning of that phase were difficult and rough to me, because loss of trust. And in that phase he once wanted to marry me, but I shyed away from that, because he had let me go before w/out fighting for our love. Kinda like now, if I think about it.
We all care for you and I understand now why you are in the place you are. I think if you can move past the pain, by giving it to Jesus, you can get to a better place. One of my great great grandma’s boyfriend left her with 4 kids. That’s maybe why I just wanted to get married so I wouldn’t end up like that. Fear has a silly way of pushing us too far the wrong way instead of the middle
Thank you. That is right, fear is a very bad adviser and our childhood is very forming.
Yep, it’s satan’s plan. That is why I have given my trauma to God and he has healed it. I am a much better father and husband as a result.
It was good of you to reach out, because now you have all of us praying for your strength, peace and comfort. May you feel the love and comfort of the ever-present Spirit of God and the angels. May you know that each of your contributions in life have added to our collective emancipation and advancement to a higher plane of existence, where we can all meet in harmony. Surround yourself with all the support and happy thoughts available. God bless you eagle eyes.
DO NOT EVER SECOND GUESS YOURSELF...You, right now need the prayers and blessings of the board here. I myself had to go through something similar, but it was with my late wife!!!!!!
Pray to the Good Lord and Let HIM GUIDE YOU THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING!!!!!!!!!
Also, thank you for reaching out and my nightly prayers will be said ONLY for you!!!!!! God Bless and NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!
Thank you, fren. I am sorry for your loss. God bless you.
Prayers and hugs headed your way
Thank you
🙏
Thank you.
Praying for you, anon. Any man who would abandon a woman in her time of need is not a man in my book. I'm just sorry you have to go through this alone now. I also pray that you can find a support group to be with you through this time in your life.
Thank you.
I am sorry to hear this, fren. It reminds me of something very personal that I recall from my childhood. My dad's long time girlfriend had bone cancer. As she got sick, he couldn't deal with his own emotions. His brother turned him to prayer... For him to be strong enough to handle the unhandleable. Eventually, he made his way back and took care of her, and she leaned on him. It was incredibly tough on him, and even though he stayed with her to her end days, his alcoholism spiraled after she passed, and it would eventually claim him. I pray that your boyfriend has the strength to face your adversity with you. This is his inability to handle grief and not a reflection on you as a person. Please, Lord, help this woman's boyfriend sequester the strength to return to his one and true love on Earth. 🙏
Thank you, dear fren. That made me cry again, but in a positive way. Yes, I thought we were a true love match. But now I am doubting it. I already would be content if he would have the courage to tell me why he is doing that.
You're welcome. It took my uncle to pry it out of him. He just bottled it up. Whenever he got home from work, he'd crack open a fresh bottle of Jack, and kill the bottle. The only outside signs we got from him is that he turned inward and would drink until he passed out at the kitchen table. It went on for several years like that. My uncle is the only one who knew how to reach him... to snap him out of his own decline long enough to tend to his loved one.
First want to tell you eagle-eyes how much God loves you and we are in a community that we all love each other. You are not alone, I feel safe here and you should too. Listen up, drink water instead of any drinks and only veggies protein like chicken fish (white meat) and fruits. I believe the miracle of the water like Icelandic, I am not a doctor but I believe in water and detox teas. I don’t take any medications and that’s why I believe I am still alive God will guide you and you will use your best judgement. Ask God to help you, always mention his son Jesus Christ the Lord, always name him for everything because he loves his son and God does miracles when we do that. I am praying for you. In regards of your boyfriend, do not worry about that now if he is for you he will come back to you just take care of yourself first. Do not get depressed and no worries because that makes the cancer to advance. Read books go outside and go to church and pray, maybe you will find new nicer friends there believe me I did after my ex boyfriend and I split our ways. Now I am happier with new angel friends. God bless and I already prayed for you.
Thank you, fren. Wil do so. Yes I need and want a miracle. Beginning of the year after all the rough years of care work for my family I thought now it is time to relax and live life fully. But it got even worse. :-(
😊🙏
Amen to the many heartfelt & powerful prayers from your family here ee! 🙌
I am certain that Our Father loves you and wants only the best for you. Some times people in our lives for a reason or a season as needed. I know that when God closes a door, he opens a window. Don't question why. Everything in life is timing. God brought you here for a reason.
BELIEVE YOU ARE LOVED! 🙏🤍✨
You are super Joy, God bless you.
Blessings to you as well fren! 🙏🤍
Amen. 😊🙏
The devil fights harder when he knows he's losing. Keep fighting, brave warrior, the best is yet to come...soon, very soon. 🙏
Thank you, LoneWulf.
"Probably he can not cope" perhaps but don't make excuses for him. Sometimes we ARE abandoned by the very ones we love most and COUNT ON to be there for us!
I continue to be shocked by what even family are capable of!! It HURTS SO MUCH! Esp when sick or vulnerable!
The ONLY persons who love us totally and unconditionally is GOD in his Holy Trinity!! [Although my saintly father never let me down . . . ]
Don't worry about HIM, but take care of yourself.
Prayers sent!
Thank you.
It is very hard to shove the HURT aside, but you need to, in order to take care of yourself! It is VERY HARD to do, to take care of one's own self, when other loved ones seem to shove us aside!
Yes, I need to. And all the prayers lifted me up to do it. I am feeling so much better already and will now take care of myself leaving everything behind me what God considers to be taken away. He knows what is best for me and will provide it in his time.
Just cry our Lord Help Me This Minute as often as you have to! Take care fren.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Hold on to this verse...it has never failed me. Most powerful verse in the book
Thank you.
Prayers up. However if you look up Solfeggio frequencies 285, 528 and 639 and listen to those while praying and fasting a bit you'd be surprised how much they can do on top of that. You can also find many tones on youtube.com, or at https://www.mindvibrations.com/solfeggio-frequencies-use-guide/d
Thank you for that info.
Be strong. You can do this. You are not alone. God is with you.
Thank you.
🙏Please GOD Heal this person🙏
Thank you, fren!!!
My sincere prayers are with you! Have faith in God! This world is of no importance.
Thank you.
Sorry to hear about your rough times. I hope you have abundant health and heal from your ailment.
I know what its like to be there for everyone else and when you need someone to really be there for you, you find yourself alone. It sucks. Thats your superpower though. Youve been the one to help so many others. You seem like the type to be considerate to others. People mainly just think about themselves so at least theres a moment in their life where you really made a difference. Thats how I try to reframe it when I think of the past.
Also, it sounds like your boyfriend is afraid of the responsibility and what comes with the type of diagnosis you have. I guess it was easier for him to walk away then to stand firmly by your side. Thats all you need to know about him though in my opinion. Imagine if he was the father of your kids and then acted in such a way?
Please do what you can to destress and take care of yourself. Cortisol in your body will make healing more difficult. God bless you and best of luck with everything.
Thank you.
May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you peace. Amen
Thank you.
I stand with all my brothers and sisters on this board praying for you. My prayers are with you. May the Lord bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time. "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." — Isaiah 41:13
Thank you, dear Grandma.
God comfort you my fren, and give you the strength to persevere over your challenges.
God love you. We love you. You are not alone.
https://greatawakening.win/p/19BtUX3SLr/bookmark-this--dr-william-makiss/
Thank you, dear fren. Yes, to all of it. And I already take ivermec and a lot of other stuff. But the negative thoughts and feelings due to the relationship and other issues are hitting on my immunity power of the body.