Since divorce is a big deal (God hates divorce), I’m not pulling any punches here and will tell it to you straight.
It wouldn’t hurt to review 1 Corinthians 7 and Mark 10, especially if your emotions are running high. Paul advises the believer not to divorce the unbeliever (1 Cor 7:12).
But the biggest issue is abortion
That’s not biblical grounds for divorce, but I feel for you there. It’s not easy to have a difference on that topic.
I have scriptural grounds for divorce
To this day I have been faithful in marriage and she has too other than that one time years ago.
If this is the referent of “grounds for divorce”, I’d give this some pause. It happened years ago, but you didn’t divorce her then. So did you forgive it or not? If you’re going to cite that as grounds, are you sure you’re not being hard hearted (Mark 10:5)?
To this day I have been faithful in marriage
Are you’re referring to physical acts? The standard for marital faithfulness according to Jesus is in Matthew 5:28–looking with lustful intent is adultery. If you’ve not done that one time in 31 years, good for you! If you have, then think about the implications of that.
We just had our 42nd wedding anniversary. My husband and I are diametrically opposed on many issues but are in agreement on other important matters. I’d take a bullet for Trump, he hates him. He took the jab I didn’t. I’m pro life, he’s pro choice. I’m right, he’s left. Let me tell you, we have lots of animated discussions. I am so proud of the man he is and he is a very accomplished and kind man. He tells me and others that I am amazing. After all this time we’re still mad about each other. It’s not necessary in a relationship to have the same opinion on issues as your spouse. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, especially regarding politics and religion. You did say that the day to day stuff was perfect in your relationship.
For sure. My girlfriend is a Godless heathen, but she is great. We don't tend to talk politically, and she doesn't agree with me on things so we just focus on other things because we are more than just our political beliefs or spiritual beliefs.
It's just important that these disagreements don't create rifts and resentment towards each other. I think that's probably the biggest killer from everything I read about people with core disagreements.
in this day & age.... not surprisingly that absolutely anything at all can morph into a political issue.
so far, all these existential issues have been co-opted into political ones (climate=nature ; vaccines=health ; LGBTIXWtFX=biology ; finance=economic liberalism)
Probably sarcastically, or to make up for his perceived slight for having sex with another person after they broke up. Probably didn't expect her to actually do it.
When I met my wife, I sort of had a "litmus test" to inquire about her politics. I knew then that I could not live with a flaming liberal. Fortunately, she passed the test without knowing she was being tested. Just talked generally about things going on at that time, then-current events, and it turned out she was a smart cookie and had a decidedly conservative view on the world. Many years later we are still happily married....and not vaxx'ed either.
I think it would be difficult to be with a spouse that’s not on the same page with you regarding political issues, however I don’t think it’s grounds for divorce. However infidelity is, but since it was such a long time ago, have you forgive her? Maybe you haven’t ‘cause you brought it up again. That’s something you need to deal with.
I wouldn’t be so concerned about her political views, rather finding a Bible believing church, and attending it weekly. Also each of you should go to a women’s and men’s Bible study weekly. This is where you will find other believers, and grow strong friendships. It’s in this type of environment, that she will actually learn that abortion is wrong. Start reading the Bible together every day. One Proverbs, and one psalms. It’s not a lot of time, and it can make a huge difference on your day. If she won’t do it with you, start doing it yourself, and be an example to her. Be an example of a godly husband.
Jesus Christ says we’re supposed to forgive one another as he has forgiven us. Holding unforgiveness in your heart, is the sin against the Lord, and it doesn’t help you at all. After I finally for gave to people in particular over a ten-year period of being angry at them, I feel free again.
I think you should focus on your relationship with Christ, and build your relationship with your wife from there. I think you will find that in doing so, you can have a long lasting marriage. Forgiveness is key! And being a godly husband is the best gift you could ever give your wife.
You don't have to agree on every issue (political or otherwise) to have a great marriage. I mean, if you're looking for an excuse to divorce her, then, SURE. But if the marriage is otherwise good I'm not sure why this is suddenly coming up. It's possible to be secure in your own beliefs without feeling the need for others, even those closest to you, to agree.
I'd draw the line at vaccinating your kids of course.
She will turn with the herd when the whole of society abandons the left for trying to enslave and murder us.
I don't think she'll ever admit she was wrong though, only that you were right "too early"
My wife is very intelligent and but also a die hard lefty and NPC. She got her vax without even telling me and then got her booster. The politics difference is the major strain in our marriage, but I expect her to come round one day, when the MSM changes course. She'll never say she was incorrect to be an authoritarian.
I used to be a lefty. Change is possible when you're honest with yourself.
It is a decision only you can make. It helps to have a pro and cons list, award every item on that list a weighing factor. Then calculate the result. Be forward looking.
A divorce often can turn sour, and if you have kids that may be the biggest hurdle, especially with CPS and the way the law works.
Also look at your situation. Do you have a support net, or will it mean you are back on your own?
And, is there really no skyhook? What is her reason to stay with you? Or has she already left the building and is eating side dishes?
What exactly did you promise? And how will your divorce reflect on meeting that promise.look like.
It reminds me of.Paradise by the dashboardlight. It is a terrible place.to have to pray for the end of time, to end your time.with her. People, have a habit of growing, and sometimes that growth path was only a matter of overlap in the beginning.
I could cite you chapter and verse on this issue, yet I would not. For the simple reason you already know the scripture.
Wisdom comes from inside of you, and only you can decide what to do.
As far as my own divorce, I am happy I did that and when I last spoke with the ex, she indicated to be very happy with her life. Much better than when we were together. The fear to go through the hoopla is often what causes them to put their heels in the sand.
And as my daughter says.... It was the best decision I have made. Why? Because it allowed her to break free, and pursue her own goals, away from the corrosive idiocies that her mother then espoused.
And I have to say, her.mother took a lesson or two from the whole affair.
So, I am not against well founded divorce. Sometimes you have to choose to cut the ties and be at peace in a humble situation, than in a palace with a leaking roof.
I went through a separation recently. We were together for over ten years. Although we weren’t married, we might as well have been.
Despite my breakdowns in the recent weeks, the bottom line for me was the truth. She’s an extrovert, surrounded by brain dead drone zombies. We agreed on most things, except every time I shared something with her, she would not ever think for herself. She always had to ask others’ opinion. Here I was fighting this tyranny, sacrificing a lot to fight at the front lines. My concerns were disregarded. In addition to this, she’s also a registered nurse.
I’m only giving you a small fraction of my story. Bottom line is, I could not live any further surrounded by lies, weakness, and this kind of surrender attitude. This wasn’t the future I wanted. And while I was fighting, we would always fight because I was being accused of cheating and/or seeing other people in the process. The distrust and inconsiderate misunderstanding was what did it for me.
I’m breaking down since moving into a house by myself. I have contempt for nearly all of humanity. But I decided I would no longer live surrounded by lies. I was only guilty of one thing, protecting my loved ones and my family. I was met with nothing but disrespect.
Only in very rare circumstances are individuals happier after they divorce. You're not a spring chicken anymore. Unless its absolutely unbearable being married to her, I'd hold on. Besides. If things go the way this community thinks they will, your wife might flip soon. I think women are very susceptible to social pressure - I mean I think they are more likely to take cues from the media and people around them to inform how they should think or what they should believe. The abortion thing needs time to simmer. However, try making friends with more conservative couples or even better, reformed liberals. If your wife finds a group of friends that she likes, their views will seep into her. Same if she has crazy liberal friends. They'll keep her rooted in immoral mental illness.
Perhaps set a hard date on which you’ll go for divorce if your efforts to wake her haven’t succeeded - especially if she’s gone further left/asleep. Edit: oh no the god fearing folk are downvoting at the mention of divorce.
Not sure why you got downvoted. This is a woman who has sex with her husband's friends (if it happened once, it happened thrice) - not wife material. I don't care how long ago OP thinks this was. Time to cut your losses and enjoy your life.
God never asked the government to get involved in marriage. The institution has been corrupted by human hand. There's nothing "sacred" about the modern marriage - it's a perversion of what the creator intended.
OP got involved with someone before his brain was fully developed, a woman who clearly has no respect for him, and it's not right for others to shame him for having thoughts of leaving. At 52, we should be primarily concerned with taking care of ourselves and those who are deserving of our love. Not wasting time on some lunatic who will never develop empathy.
I have a conviction about the unique and unrepeatable nature of each human being. We are not "dispensable." Respect for human life in itself means allowing the growth process and not interrupting it violently. No offense, but you don't seem to appreciate that right to life we all have from the moment our life begins. Why is late term worse than early term to you? It's a timeline and it plays out again and again and that's how we all began. Sincerely, don't you feel your life is special? Have you ever seen the classic movie, "It's a Wonderful Life?" It's shown every Christmas and the themes are deep in this regard.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. We differ because for me, spontaneous "abortion" (miscarriage at any stage) is not caused by the actions of a person intending to end that life. I am a believer, so I can only say that God is the author of life and the only ONE entitled to call us home in His own time. I know that many parents are deeply grieved over the miscarriage of their children, so in a general way, that is cause for all of us to have sympathy for those in that situation. But when a perfectly viable pregnancy is interrupted by another human being, for me that is making oneself the arbiter of life and death. It is taking the life of another human being. And not painlessly. I'm more of a philosophic type so when I said, what does it matter the stage, I was referring to the inherent evil in taking another human being's life, no matter how "far along" they are in their lifespan. The law does not permit people, parents or relatives, etc. to kill children who are in difficult family or social circumstances. There is always hope for a brighter future and countless lives have borne this out. The whole point in question is whether we have a right to take that life to "maybe, possibly" prevent suffering in the future. I completely disagree that we have that right as fellow human beings. Also to be considered are the appalling numbers; when the count is 60 million lives ended violently in the last 50 years, we have to take some action as members of the human family. The voiceless unborn cannot demand their chance at their own lives. Loss of that many affects us all. I think we struggle to get our heads around that number.
Since divorce is a big deal (God hates divorce), I’m not pulling any punches here and will tell it to you straight.
It wouldn’t hurt to review 1 Corinthians 7 and Mark 10, especially if your emotions are running high. Paul advises the believer not to divorce the unbeliever (1 Cor 7:12).
That’s not biblical grounds for divorce, but I feel for you there. It’s not easy to have a difference on that topic.
If this is the referent of “grounds for divorce”, I’d give this some pause. It happened years ago, but you didn’t divorce her then. So did you forgive it or not? If you’re going to cite that as grounds, are you sure you’re not being hard hearted (Mark 10:5)?
Are you’re referring to physical acts? The standard for marital faithfulness according to Jesus is in Matthew 5:28–looking with lustful intent is adultery. If you’ve not done that one time in 31 years, good for you! If you have, then think about the implications of that.
We just had our 42nd wedding anniversary. My husband and I are diametrically opposed on many issues but are in agreement on other important matters. I’d take a bullet for Trump, he hates him. He took the jab I didn’t. I’m pro life, he’s pro choice. I’m right, he’s left. Let me tell you, we have lots of animated discussions. I am so proud of the man he is and he is a very accomplished and kind man. He tells me and others that I am amazing. After all this time we’re still mad about each other. It’s not necessary in a relationship to have the same opinion on issues as your spouse. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, especially regarding politics and religion. You did say that the day to day stuff was perfect in your relationship.
For sure. My girlfriend is a Godless heathen, but she is great. We don't tend to talk politically, and she doesn't agree with me on things so we just focus on other things because we are more than just our political beliefs or spiritual beliefs.
It's just important that these disagreements don't create rifts and resentment towards each other. I think that's probably the biggest killer from everything I read about people with core disagreements.
I have a lib girl. Been together a long time. She had gotten 3 or 4 shots. She still believes in climate change, blah, blah, blah.
I have been down many of the loops others here have done with friends and family.
We don't talk politics anymore. I look around and I don't expect any friends or family members I had prior to 2020 to be around past 2024.
There will be upheaval, pain, and loss in the coming years. No need to force it.
We can only work on our selfs; pray, build strength, endure the storm, see what the new day brings.
in this day & age.... not surprisingly that absolutely anything at all can morph into a political issue.
so far, all these existential issues have been co-opted into political ones (climate=nature ; vaccines=health ; LGBTIXWtFX=biology ; finance=economic liberalism)
Sports, weather, health, grocery, gas, cars to buy, where we can shop, what we can say, what we can buy, what religion we can practice, ...
Division is their best weapon
If she is not a flaming bitch, you'd be crazy to try starting over again.
You told your wife it was okay to have sex with your friend?
I had the same reaction... And he's complaining about her not respecting him... That line made me think this whole post is someone trolling.
Agreed.
Probably sarcastically, or to make up for his perceived slight for having sex with another person after they broke up. Probably didn't expect her to actually do it.
So now its a three way?
Lol…ur just trolling.
When I met my wife, I sort of had a "litmus test" to inquire about her politics. I knew then that I could not live with a flaming liberal. Fortunately, she passed the test without knowing she was being tested. Just talked generally about things going on at that time, then-current events, and it turned out she was a smart cookie and had a decidedly conservative view on the world. Many years later we are still happily married....and not vaxx'ed either.
I think it would be difficult to be with a spouse that’s not on the same page with you regarding political issues, however I don’t think it’s grounds for divorce. However infidelity is, but since it was such a long time ago, have you forgive her? Maybe you haven’t ‘cause you brought it up again. That’s something you need to deal with.
I wouldn’t be so concerned about her political views, rather finding a Bible believing church, and attending it weekly. Also each of you should go to a women’s and men’s Bible study weekly. This is where you will find other believers, and grow strong friendships. It’s in this type of environment, that she will actually learn that abortion is wrong. Start reading the Bible together every day. One Proverbs, and one psalms. It’s not a lot of time, and it can make a huge difference on your day. If she won’t do it with you, start doing it yourself, and be an example to her. Be an example of a godly husband.
Jesus Christ says we’re supposed to forgive one another as he has forgiven us. Holding unforgiveness in your heart, is the sin against the Lord, and it doesn’t help you at all. After I finally for gave to people in particular over a ten-year period of being angry at them, I feel free again.
I think you should focus on your relationship with Christ, and build your relationship with your wife from there. I think you will find that in doing so, you can have a long lasting marriage. Forgiveness is key! And being a godly husband is the best gift you could ever give your wife.
Everything after that will follow.
Exactly....see my response elsewhere in this thread.
You don't have to agree on every issue (political or otherwise) to have a great marriage. I mean, if you're looking for an excuse to divorce her, then, SURE. But if the marriage is otherwise good I'm not sure why this is suddenly coming up. It's possible to be secure in your own beliefs without feeling the need for others, even those closest to you, to agree.
I'd draw the line at vaccinating your kids of course.
She will turn with the herd when the whole of society abandons the left for trying to enslave and murder us.
I don't think she'll ever admit she was wrong though, only that you were right "too early"
My wife is very intelligent and but also a die hard lefty and NPC. She got her vax without even telling me and then got her booster. The politics difference is the major strain in our marriage, but I expect her to come round one day, when the MSM changes course. She'll never say she was incorrect to be an authoritarian.
I used to be a lefty. Change is possible when you're honest with yourself.
It is a decision only you can make. It helps to have a pro and cons list, award every item on that list a weighing factor. Then calculate the result. Be forward looking.
A divorce often can turn sour, and if you have kids that may be the biggest hurdle, especially with CPS and the way the law works.
Also look at your situation. Do you have a support net, or will it mean you are back on your own?
And, is there really no skyhook? What is her reason to stay with you? Or has she already left the building and is eating side dishes?
What exactly did you promise? And how will your divorce reflect on meeting that promise.look like.
It reminds me of.Paradise by the dashboardlight. It is a terrible place.to have to pray for the end of time, to end your time.with her. People, have a habit of growing, and sometimes that growth path was only a matter of overlap in the beginning.
I could cite you chapter and verse on this issue, yet I would not. For the simple reason you already know the scripture.
Wisdom comes from inside of you, and only you can decide what to do.
As far as my own divorce, I am happy I did that and when I last spoke with the ex, she indicated to be very happy with her life. Much better than when we were together. The fear to go through the hoopla is often what causes them to put their heels in the sand.
And as my daughter says.... It was the best decision I have made. Why? Because it allowed her to break free, and pursue her own goals, away from the corrosive idiocies that her mother then espoused.
And I have to say, her.mother took a lesson or two from the whole affair.
So, I am not against well founded divorce. Sometimes you have to choose to cut the ties and be at peace in a humble situation, than in a palace with a leaking roof.
I went through a separation recently. We were together for over ten years. Although we weren’t married, we might as well have been.
Despite my breakdowns in the recent weeks, the bottom line for me was the truth. She’s an extrovert, surrounded by brain dead drone zombies. We agreed on most things, except every time I shared something with her, she would not ever think for herself. She always had to ask others’ opinion. Here I was fighting this tyranny, sacrificing a lot to fight at the front lines. My concerns were disregarded. In addition to this, she’s also a registered nurse.
I’m only giving you a small fraction of my story. Bottom line is, I could not live any further surrounded by lies, weakness, and this kind of surrender attitude. This wasn’t the future I wanted. And while I was fighting, we would always fight because I was being accused of cheating and/or seeing other people in the process. The distrust and inconsiderate misunderstanding was what did it for me.
I’m breaking down since moving into a house by myself. I have contempt for nearly all of humanity. But I decided I would no longer live surrounded by lies. I was only guilty of one thing, protecting my loved ones and my family. I was met with nothing but disrespect.
Only in very rare circumstances are individuals happier after they divorce. You're not a spring chicken anymore. Unless its absolutely unbearable being married to her, I'd hold on. Besides. If things go the way this community thinks they will, your wife might flip soon. I think women are very susceptible to social pressure - I mean I think they are more likely to take cues from the media and people around them to inform how they should think or what they should believe. The abortion thing needs time to simmer. However, try making friends with more conservative couples or even better, reformed liberals. If your wife finds a group of friends that she likes, their views will seep into her. Same if she has crazy liberal friends. They'll keep her rooted in immoral mental illness.
straits (as in stretch of water).
Time to look deep into your heart and call on Spirit for guidance. You're still there. Why?
Do you’ve been married for 30 years and just now considering divorce? Give us a break. Your not going to do shit.
Don’t listen to this imbecile. He can’t even spell.
Perhaps set a hard date on which you’ll go for divorce if your efforts to wake her haven’t succeeded - especially if she’s gone further left/asleep. Edit: oh no the god fearing folk are downvoting at the mention of divorce.
Marriage is not a short-term contract. It's a lifelong link for extremely important reasons.
I can't believe I just read someone whine about their life partner on a research board...🤢
Pray for new fire in your marriage and God will give it to you. Do you think He wants to separate you two? Of course not!!!
I've seen many get divorced for utterly selfish reasons. It always starts with disrespect in the relationship. Give what you want to get, fren.
Not downvoting you. But divorce is supposed to be a last resort, and it takes more than petty disagreement to reach that point.
Supposed by whom?
Not sure why you got downvoted. This is a woman who has sex with her husband's friends (if it happened once, it happened thrice) - not wife material. I don't care how long ago OP thinks this was. Time to cut your losses and enjoy your life.
Because God. It’s axiomatic and there can be no debate. Heathens shall be downvoted.
God never asked the government to get involved in marriage. The institution has been corrupted by human hand. There's nothing "sacred" about the modern marriage - it's a perversion of what the creator intended.
OP got involved with someone before his brain was fully developed, a woman who clearly has no respect for him, and it's not right for others to shame him for having thoughts of leaving. At 52, we should be primarily concerned with taking care of ourselves and those who are deserving of our love. Not wasting time on some lunatic who will never develop empathy.
Right.
I have a conviction about the unique and unrepeatable nature of each human being. We are not "dispensable." Respect for human life in itself means allowing the growth process and not interrupting it violently. No offense, but you don't seem to appreciate that right to life we all have from the moment our life begins. Why is late term worse than early term to you? It's a timeline and it plays out again and again and that's how we all began. Sincerely, don't you feel your life is special? Have you ever seen the classic movie, "It's a Wonderful Life?" It's shown every Christmas and the themes are deep in this regard.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. We differ because for me, spontaneous "abortion" (miscarriage at any stage) is not caused by the actions of a person intending to end that life. I am a believer, so I can only say that God is the author of life and the only ONE entitled to call us home in His own time. I know that many parents are deeply grieved over the miscarriage of their children, so in a general way, that is cause for all of us to have sympathy for those in that situation. But when a perfectly viable pregnancy is interrupted by another human being, for me that is making oneself the arbiter of life and death. It is taking the life of another human being. And not painlessly. I'm more of a philosophic type so when I said, what does it matter the stage, I was referring to the inherent evil in taking another human being's life, no matter how "far along" they are in their lifespan. The law does not permit people, parents or relatives, etc. to kill children who are in difficult family or social circumstances. There is always hope for a brighter future and countless lives have borne this out. The whole point in question is whether we have a right to take that life to "maybe, possibly" prevent suffering in the future. I completely disagree that we have that right as fellow human beings. Also to be considered are the appalling numbers; when the count is 60 million lives ended violently in the last 50 years, we have to take some action as members of the human family. The voiceless unborn cannot demand their chance at their own lives. Loss of that many affects us all. I think we struggle to get our heads around that number.