I can relate. Was sexually assaulted by a Dr as a child and never trusted them since. Spent my entire life wondering why God allowed that to happen to me. But that incident might have saved my life, bec when the jabs rolled out, it was a big 'hell no'!
What works for me is following a Weston A Price/Wise Traditions Ancestral diet, but more carnivore and no sugar or bread. Keeps everything in check. Finally learned how to eat correctly when I got in to my 60s, but its never too late.
The Bleaters!